I challenge anyone in the world, family, friends, anyone at all to post 3 pictures they've taken of me. I've taken thousands of my children, friends, family, clients, hell even people I don't know. It's not about the pictures it's about the caring enough to want to have a memory of me. I have all of these many photos of the people I care for and when people see them most people look down on me for not being in any of the pictures. It's because I was always the one holding the camera. Yet I still get judged for being absent in the images. It hurts. I raised my son alone for 21 years, at the same time I took care of my mother for 15 years until she passed last year when she became too old and frail to provide for herself. I did this alone. For 2 decades I carried the 3 of us alone. My sons mother never bothered to pay any child support or help in any way. My brother, both uncles and grandfather all drank themselves to death. My son thinks I was a failure as a father and he's probably right. I gave up everything to care for the people I love, my energy, my youth, my sanity, any chance of ever having a meaningful relationship with a woman, my financial security, everything. In the end looking back after 20 plus years of giving every ounce of myself. All I got in return was told that i didn't do enough. That I was a shitty father and just an all around shitty person and now I couldn't agree more. I accept it and I agree with it. The best thing I can do for the people I love is to not be in their lives anymore. This isn't a declaration of suicide, this is a declaration of disappearance. I've felt invisible for years and years so now I'll become invisible by choice. It's a big country to get lost in and I intend to do just that thing.
