I remember the first time that I told my wife that I loved her. It was on the one-year anniversary of our first date. Why in the world did it take so long to say it? I knew I loved her long before then. Maybe I was too skeptical. I was of the opinion then that the word âloveâ had been tossed around so much that I wanted it to truly mean somethingânot merely a word to throw out like bread crumbs for birds. Basically, I wanted it to mean more, because âloveâ needs to have greater meaning. I still have that opinion. âLoveâ is a special word to be reserved for special meaning.
These thoughts came to my mind at the end of my workout this morning. While still dressed in my girly gym-bunny gear, my wife popped her head into my workout room to let me know that she was going to the gym. No matter how secure our relationship has become within my feminine ways, having my wife see me all girlified still causes my heart to flutter inside my sports bra. In good fun, she threw out an âI love you, you sexy girl!â Of course, that was followed by, âGet the kids up in 30 minutes!â
My wife has taught me more about love than anyone else. When I wasnât sure if she would accept me for being more feminine, dressing in girlâs clothes, and being less âmanâ, she showed me that love has the ability to compromise and adapt. She showed me that love is something she chooses to give freely, not something I have to earn through pretending to be someone Iâm not.
I realize that Iâm very privileged to have this relationship. There are still some nuances of it that are not as open as I wish they were, but itâs still a relationship that permits some freedom to express my femininity. I gladly accept the terms because my wife loves âmeâ. Thatâs the keyâto love ME; the person who I am. And because I love her, I might have some freedom to be girly, even girlier and girlier as I make some progressions, but I will respect her wishes with how far I extend my feminine ways.
I know that a good number within my audience are not so lucky. I hate that. If there is anything I wish to say to you, it is this:
âYou can be loved, even in your feminine ways. You are a person to be loved, not an expectation to be owned.âÂ
Someone who loves you might very well request that you (as my wife has done of me) have some limitations to your girliness. Thatâs reality, girly friends. Sadly, those limitations might be very strict. If a person loves you, however, itâs because he/she loves YOU, not your manner of expression or the clothes you wearâwhatever is the flavor. And as much as I hate to say it, your love for the other person might require a compromise that greatly restricts your feminine passions. Ugh, I hate to have to write that! Remember, though, as others would love you, you should be willing to love them and accept their levels of comfort tooâbecause love has deeper meaning than clothing and personal expressions. It has deeper meaning than any self-seeking wishes and wants.
What I would wish for any fem-boy is for him to be truly loved in such a way that no matter how feminine he might become or appear to be, he would have freedom to be himself in all of his girliness. Maybe itâs a wetâŚI meanâŚpipe dream, but I do believe that any girly boy can never be too feminine to love. If that is not possible in your circumstances, then I want you to know that in the very least, you can be loved. Everyone can be loved.
Hereâs to hopeful dreams of love in our girliness!