It's My Life

26 Instagram is kelsib555 Lesbian. Houston -> Seattle-> LA!

[funnytwittertweets]

[heavensghost]

Patrick Ness

[gallarie]

samswhurld

[eroscestlavie]

someone take me out. either in the date way or the assassination way

[schuylerpeck]

I don’t want to work a 9-5, I want to go hiking and be in love

[everythingfox]

Mr. Pokee

[24ozsteak]

you ever just hand things to ur pet to sniff so they can feel included

[solidsnake]

[cubonesaystransrights]

[disc80s]

[valtsv]

admit it, we’ve all fantasised about slow-dancing in the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas at 2am in the arms of someone we love while old romantic jazz songs play softly on the radio

[averruncusho]

[cozyautumnspices]

[anxietyproblem]

[itsoktobegay101-blog]

[nowscience-blog]

[my-wanton-self-deactivated20191]

There are A LOT of crabs on Christmas Island, man.

They used to cross the road, probably, no definitely, without looking left and right. And they got squished.

Environmentalists had a hell of a job, keeping them in their lane. Traffic would have to be blocked for the duration.

But now, they have a lovely bridge, and no one has to ask: Why did the Christmas Island Crab cross the road, if they’re just gonna get squished?

Answer: They want to hit the beach. Because that’s where they like to have sex. And because the mummy crabs like to throw their eggs into the ocean after they’ve spawned them in the burrows that the daddy crab so kindly digs on the beach.

Look at them scurrying over their bridge, the smell of the ocean in their noses, the thought of copulation driving them on…

Whew! Finally, made it to the beach…now The Sex can begin!

Mission accomplished… And a few weeks later after a float in the ocean…

Back come the ankle biters…to the rainforest where they live.

[blackarachnya]

[rneowth]

[fugofighters-deactivated2023050]

[anxietyproblem]

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

Denver Zoo and its gay lorikeets said fuck homophobes happy Pride

[agentduckorico]

Homophobes: u mean they act like brothers

Denver Zoo: they’re fucking, lorie.