Saw a girl in her early 20s say how good dua lipa still looks for being 30 and it’s so strange how gen-z sees age because what do you think a 30 year old would look like?
Summary: After a hot and heavy fling with Jax Teller ends after he ghosted you. Juice swoops in to cure that sting. Once you’re finally happy, Jax drops a bomb.
Warnings/tags: 18+ only. Language. Difficult choices? Juice kinda gets the shaft. Territorial!Jax
Pairing/Characters: Jax x Reader, Juice x Reader. Ima (gross, I know)
A/n: I kind of needed just a little break from writing smut, so this is a smut free fic. Just angst, and fluff. Still the good stuff.
To say that you were lost would be an understatement. All of your friends were getting married, having babies, buying houses, and you just felt like you were…not where you were supposed to be in life. Sure, you had your own apartment, you had a decent job, but you wanted more, especially now that you just broke up with your boyfriend. The two of you dated for about a year, and you ended it. He just wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted more.
A few years ago, Friday nights were for your girlfriends, but they were all pregnant, or home with their husbands and kids, so it was just you when you strolled in to the dark bar. Normally, you wouldn’t be caught dead in a bar alone; but it was a rough week at work and in life so you needed a few glasses of wine to kickstart the weekend.
Luckily, the bartender was a girlfriend from high school that you hadn’t seen in a while, so the two of you got to catch up, and before you knew it, you were tipsy. The bar was pretty much empty, save for two handsome bikers a few stools down, one was a dirty blonde, devastatingly blue eyes, and holy shit was he handsome. The other biker sitting next to him was handsome too, a strong jaw, and a shaved mohawk with tribal tattoos on both sides of his head.
“Kyra,” you waved over for the bartender and she came over, immediately refilling you with Chardonnay. “Who is that?” You whispered, careful for the two handsome men to not hear you.
She smirked, knowing that all the girls always had a thing for the two men at the bar. Especially the blonde. “The one with the president patch is Jax Teller, and the other one is Juice,” she said with a smirk. “Actually I don’t even know Juice’s real name.” She turned towards him “Juice!”
“What’s up sugar?” He shouted back to Kyra.
“What’s your real name, babe?” She said, naturally a good flirt.
“Juan Carlos!” He said, turning back to Jax to finish their conversation.
“That’s Juan Carlos,” she said to you and hid your face in your hands.
“Oh my god,” you said with a whine. “They’re totally going to know we were talking about them.”
She scoffed. “Babes, they’re so used to it by now.”
You never thought of it that way. They were probably used to attention by now, both wanted and unwanted. They were handsome bikers - they were bound to turn a few heads.
Now you knew where the saying “flowing like wine” came from, because the wine was indeed flowing. You weren’t totally drunk yet, but it was getting to be that time to head home before you were too drunk to drive.
“What’s your name?” You heard a calm and gentle voice in your ear, right next to you, startling you. You had been so zoned out staring at your phone that you hadn’t even noticed that Jax approached you. Turning in your barstool towards him with a half-drunk, half-flirty smile.
“I’m y/n,” you said, bashfully. He introduced himself, even though you already know his name, thanks to Kyra.
“Nice to meet you,” he smirked.
“Jax!” You heard Kyra shout from the dartboard. “You and Juice are up.”
“Play for me babes,” he shouted back to Kyra, his eyes not leaving yours.
The two of you chatted for an hour. You told him about your job, he told you about the club, and the two of you commiserated over woes with work, love and life in general. It was nice, and for the first time in a while, you felt like you weren’t alone.
Jax bought you shots and two more glasses of Chardonnay and when you stood up, you stumbled, almost falling right into the handsome blondes arms. “Woah,” he chuckled. “Let me drive you home.”
“Jackson,” Kyra shouted from the other side of the bar. “Take care of her, I know where you live!” He chuckled in response and walked you to his bike.
“Oh,” you started. “I’ve never been on a bike before.”
“It’s okay,” he smiled, handing you his back-up helmet, sliding his night glasses over his beautiful baby-blues. God damn he looked so good right now. “Just try and keep your weight centered and lean with me.” Yeah, funny Jax, telling a drunk girl to keep her weight centered. You laughed in response, and he smiled at you. “Just hold on, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
You gave Jax directions to your apartment as he drove, and once he pulled into your driveway, he dismounted his bike and took his helmet off. “Do you want a cup of tea or something?” You asked.
“Nah, darlin’,” he said. “I just wanna make sure you get up okay.” He walked you to your door and kissed your cheek after taking your phone and putting his number under “Jackson.” That made you smile. “Jackson,” you giggled. “That’s cute, you used your government name.”
His laugh was contagious and after a few seconds of an awkward silence and just staring at each other, you unlocked the door. Before you could cross the threshold to your apartment, he grabbed your face and planted a kiss on the cheek, which left you wanting more.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come in?” You asked.
“I can’t,” he said, his hands tucked in the pocket of his jeans. “You’re drunk, and I couldn’t take advantage of you.” You clicked your teeth and rolled your eyes, but you had massive respect for that.
“That’s actually really sweet,” you said, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
“What can I say? I’m a sweetie.” And just like that, he left and you went upstairs and fell right to sleep.
The next two weeks were like a dream. Jax took you on dates, bike rides, and the two of you made love every day, multiple times a day. Normally you don’t fall very fast, but the hopeless romantic in you was falling madly in love with Jackson Teller. And then one day, out of the blue, he stopped texting you back, stopped answering your calls, and after a week of being ignored, you knew he had ghosted you. You were angry, knowing that you deserved some sort of explanation, but clearly, you weren’t worth that to him. And that love, quickly turned into hate.
After a few days of bed rotting, your phone dinged, and it was a text from Kyra. “Bars dead, Chards on me.”
“Jax ghosted me,” you replied back. “Not really in the mood.”
“Fuck him, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
You thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get out of the house, so you showered, but a little makeup on accompanied by a cute outfit. When you walked in the bar, you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the tattooed head of Juan Carlos. You wanted to leave but maybe Juice was exactly what you needed.
“Hey babe,” Kyra greeted you with a smile and a glass of white wine. “Feeling better?” You shrugged your shoulders in response.
“Hey Juice,” she said, and he picked his head up. “What’s up with your friend?”
He just chuckled, and you rolled your eyes knowing that guy code was not the kind of thing men in a biker club were willing to break.
“Trust me honey,” Juice finally responded, taking a sip of his whiskey. “Jax isn’t the relationship type.”
“He’s not wrong,” Kyra said. And you just decided to move on from the conversation.
You spent the night flirting with Juice, laughing, talking about football. He thought you were pretty, easy to talk to, funny, and you caught him just staring at you with admiration.
“What?” You asked, smiling that you caught him staring at you.
He chuckled, looking down and shaking his head. “Nothing,” he said, laughing nervously before looking up to meet your gaze. “It’s just…” he started, and he was struggling to find the words. “Jax is a fool.” Your eyes immediately dropped with sadness, thinking that was very sweet of him to say. “You’re an absolute prize, y/n.”
When you and Juice started dating, at first you felt bad. But it didn’t take long for you to realize that you deserved to be happy, and you didn’t care if you were a “homie hopper.” Juice made you happy, Juice cured the sting of Jackson, and even seeing him at the clubhouse wasn’t awkward at all. You’d smile politely at him, ask how he was doing, and the two of you would exchange the typical pleasantries. Until, Ima.
You really didn’t know what he saw in her. She was a pornstar for Christ sakes. He always told you what a pain in the ass she was, and how thirsty she was, and now the two of them are hanging out? Dating? You couldn’t understand that dynamic but it was fine after a few times. At first, you had to mask how much it hurt to see Jax with someone else. You didn’t want Juice to know that you still had some weird feelings for Jax. So, you just ignored it. In fact, you invited the two of them for a double date - a simple barbecue at your house.
Juice made it easy, the two of you worked as a team. He grilled, you helped open the door, grab any utensils he had forgotten, and made sure he always had a cold drink. Every time you caught Jax whispering in Ima's ear, with his arm around her while she giggled, made you want to ask everyone to leave, but you kept a brave face.
“Thanks babe,” you said as you finished eating. “That was delicious.”
“Of course, baby.” He responded as you grabbed everyone’s plates to go inside and clean up. You leaned down to plant a kiss on Juice’s lips and asked if anyone needed anything. But, everyone was content, with full drinks and full bellies, so you had time to go inside and be mad in peace for a little while.
“Oh stop Jax, that tickles,” you whispered to yourself, mocking Ima, sticking out your tongue pretending to gag. When you were finishing loading the dishwasher you heard the door open, and you figured it was Juice coming to check on you.
It was Jax. “Gotta use the bathroom,” he said.
“You know where to find it,” you responded dryly. And as you turned around he was directly behind you, pushing you up against the wall.
“Jax,” you whispered, startled and confused. “The fuck is wrong with you.”
“I’ve had enough of the bullshit,” he said between gritted teeth. “I’ve had enough of the games.”
“What are you talking about?!” You exclaimed, trying to break free from the clutch he had on you. “No ones playing games you psycho. Just let me go.”
“That’s thing darlin’,” he said, burying his face in your neck. “I can’t let you go,” he whispered in your ear, his breath hitching. “Your mine.”
“Wh-what?” You said, holding your breath when he leaned up to look in your eyes.
“You heard me, y/n,” he said. “You’re fucking mine.” And just like that, he planted a hard, beer soaked kiss on your lips. And you moaned. You actually moaned. You wanted to scream, but you moaned! You didn’t even try pushing him off of you, and after a couple of seconds he broke the kiss, looked at you and walked back outside to join Ima and Juice. You wanted to throw something. You wanted to break something. You wanted…everyone to get the fuck out of your house now.
When you walked outside, you told Juice that you weren’t feeling well.
“Ok, hun,” he said standing up. “Do you want me to stay?” You nodded your head.
“N-no, baby,” you said, looking down with guilt. You felt bad about everything that just happened. “Kinda just wanna be alone.”
He understood. Jax and Ima thanked you for the hospitality, and the three of them left together.
Once you knew you were alone, your blood was boiling. You felt so confused, angry. Why would he do that to you? What the fuck did he want with you? But deep down, you loved it. You loved that Jax still thought of you. Still wanted you. All this time, you’d wondered what you did wrong - why you weren’t good enough. You felt…almost pleased. Pleased that you were able to get under Jackson Tellers skin like that.
After an hour of hanging out on the couch, zoning out and still trying to wrap your head around what happened in your kitchen earlier, there was a knock on the door.
“The hell?” You muttered to yourself as you walked to your front door, opening it to find Jax standing at your doorway.
“Jax,” you said, serious, but understanding. Understanding his feelings, because you felt the same way. Understanding that yearning, because you felt it, too. “We can’t do this.”
He ignored you, and just let himself in. You watched from the door as he slowly stalked through your door; through the hallway, and into the living room before sitting down on the couch.
“By all means,” you said, slamming the door and walking towards him on the couch. “Make yourself comfy.”
The two of you sat there for a moment, in silence. He sat with his legs open and his elbows resting on his knees. You could tell he was deep and thought, but there was no way you were going to speak first, so you just stared at him.
“Y/n,” he started, opening his hands like he was trying to find the words to say before folding them again. But he didn’t say anything else.
“What the hell was that Jackson?” You asked. You weren’t angry. You were calm. Collected. “Juice is your best friend.”
“Yeah no shit,” he said, sitting up and turning to look at you. “He never should’ve went after you. He knew how I felt about you.”
Now you were annoyed. “Jax…” you started. “You ghosted me!” You exclaimed, trying to get into his thick skull was not easy.
“I needed some time!” He made the sorry excuse you’ve heard so many times from other guys. “I was scared.”
“Well,” you said. “I guess Juice wasn’t. And now it’s too late.”
“Y/n,” he moved closer to you, resting his hand on your thigh. “Please, give me another chance.
“I can’t do that,” you said, standing up. “I can’t do that to Juice.” And without another word, you signalled for him to follow you to the door, and opened it for him. Jax paused on the porch, as if he was hoping you had changed your mind on the short walk from the couch to the door.
“Goodnight, Jax,” and you shut the door in his face, holding back every emotion you could until that door was closed. You refused to let him see you cry. You refused to let him see that you still felt those things for him. That even though you were dating one of his best friends, you couldn’t let him go.
The next day, you woke up and realized that you had to cut things off with Juice; it wasn’t fair to him to string him along while you still had feelings for Jax, and while Jax still had feelings for you. He called you to check on you, but he could hear it in your voice, he could tell that something was wrong.
“Why don’t you just come here so we talk?” You said after he asked you a few times what was the matter. Once you said that, he knew. He knew you were about to end it.
When he got to your house, the two of you sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. You weren’t worried; Juice didn’t seem like the type to be bitter over a break-up. Although, you were breaking up with him because you still had feelings for his best friend. He may have been a little bitter over that.
“Does this have anything to do with the way you were staring at Jax yesterday?” He said into his coffee mug, so matter-of-factly, hardly any emotion attached at all.
“What?” you played stupid.
“C’mon, Y/n,” he said, tilting his head, but smirking ever so slightly, just enough to let you know that he wasn’t angry. “You were practically foaming at the mouth every time he was whispering in Ima’s ear, or kissing her. I’m not stupid, or blind.”
“I know you’re not,” you said as tears started to form in your eyes.
“I get it, hun,” he said, standing up from the table and walking over towards you, leaning down to run his hands through the hair that rested on the nap of your neck and planting a kiss on your forehead. “I really do.”
You didn’t say anything as you got up to walk him to the door, but you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
He smirked at you, and looked into your eyes. “No hard feelings,” he said, and something about the way he said it told you that he was being completely sincere.
“Promise?” You asked, and he responded with a chuckle.
“Promise.”
And he left. He probably thought you were going to immediately call Jax, have him come over, make sweet love to him. But the truth was, you needed time away. Time away from Jax, time away from feelings and emotions. Time away from Charming. So you packed a bag, got in your car, and just drove. Though you didn’t go very far. You booked a room up in Tahoe, just for a few days to enjoy some peace and quiet. Take in the beautiful views, and think. Think about what you wanted. And you kept going back to Jax.
Jax was worried about you - he called you several times when you were in the mountains, worrying half to death that you were a runaway. And when you got home, you saw his Harley in front of your house.
“The hell?” you muttered to yourself as you pulled into this driveway, and saw him sitting on your front porch in one of the rocking chairs.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, unloading your bags from the truck from your last-minute getaway. He quickly jogged towards you, grabbing the bag that was already slung around your shoulder.
“I hadn’t heard from you, and you weren’t answering your phone.” He said, walking towards the door with your bags in hand. “Had to make sure you were still alive, sweetheart.”
The two of you awkwardly stood in your living room after he brought your bags to your bedroom, unsure of what to say.
“Juice told me what happened.” He said.
You tucked your lips in and raised your eyebrows, nodding your head and avoiding eye contact with him. “Yup,” you responded dryly.
“How do you feel?”
“Shitty enough to run away for a week to clear my head.” You responded.
“Do you still feel shitty?” He asked, and all you could do was nod your head.
“Darlin’,” Jax said, walking closer to you, closing the gap between the two of you. “Juice is going to be okay.” He brought a hand to your cheek and cupped your face in his hand.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel shitty about it,” you said, trying to get him to see that this wasn’t as simple for you as it was for him. It wasn’t so easy for you to just hurt people, even though it was for Jax. “I feel guilty.” And a tear started streaming down your face.
“Y/n,” he brought you into his arms and you buried your face in his chest, the guilt eating you alive. “It really is okay.”
“No, it’s not,” you said in his t-shirt, muffled from the fabric and from the tears.
“Him and I talked about it,” he said, and you broke the hug and looked up at him, puzzled, wondering what the hell he was talking about. “He knows that you’re something special, and he was willing to let you go so you can be happy. At first, you thought he was just making that up to make you feel better, that there was no way that two bikers sat around and talked about their feelings. And he knew you weren’t going to believe it, so he handed you an envelope with your name on it.
“Y/n,” the note started. “I tried calling you but couldn’t get through. I understand, and you have my blessing. You deserve happiness, and Jax really does care about you. I am willing to let you go so you can be happy.”
Jax hoped that this would make you feel better, but for some reason, it didn’t.
“I need to go to sleep, Jax,” you said, folding the letter and putting it back in the envelope. “You should go.”
“Let me stay,” he said, and you had never seen this persistent side of Jax. “Let me make it up to you. Let me show you that I won’t hurt you again.”
“I’m not sleeping with you tonight, Jackson,” you said, and he responded with a cheeky grin after licking his lips.
“I don’t want to fuck you tonight,” he responded with a smile. “I just want to be with you.” You gave in, and let him follow you to your room. You changed into comfy clothes, but he stayed in his jeans and white tee, laying on your bed and crossing his ankles, watching you get dressed.
“Perv,” you joked, and slid in the bed beside him.
“Y/n,” Jax said as you turned the TV on and sifted through Netflix for something to watch.
“Hmm?” You responded, not looking at him. He took the remote out of your hand and grabbed your face gently to make you turn to look at him.
“Will you just listen to me for one second?” He said, and you didn’t respond, you just gazed into his baby blue eyes, as if you were in a trance. “I mean it - you’re mine. And I am going to spend a long time proving it to you if I have too.”
You didn’t say anything, you just continued looking into his eyes. “Will you give me the chance to do that? Please?” And you responded with a nod, his hand still cupping your face when he leaned in to plant a soft, loving kiss on your lips.
“I don’t ever…” he said, his brow furrowed, his face serious. “...ever want to go through the torture of seeing you with another man. Ever again.” Another tear streamed down your face. “Okay?”
“Okay,” you said, smiling at him.
“Now find something to watch.” And you turned back to the TV, sifting through Netflix again.
Once you found something to watch, you cuddled into Jax’s arms until you fell asleep, finally at peace.
hi! i love your work so much, especially the jax teller fics. I was wondering if you had any good jax teller recommendations?
Hello anon, and thank you! 🤍 I'm so glad you're enjoying all of the Jax stories! I know there's an embarrassing amount of them in my masterlist... And I most certainly do have some Jax Teller writers that I can recommend! The other week I'd reblogged something with a whole list of Jax writers that I can list here for you and anyone else looking for more blogs with Jax fics to check out! Some write Jax x reader, some write Jax x OC, and some write both. There's also a few lovely blogs who write for other SOA/Mayan characters as well!
I apologize for missing anyone, I know there's bound to be some that I did, so anyone can please feel free to list any others! I don't want to exclude anyone and maybe I'll even discover some new blogs!
Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader Word Count: 5.6k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Fic Masterlist]
Warnings/tags: 18+; nurse!Reader, canon-divergence (no Abel or Thomas), fluff, angst, friends to lovers, eventual smut, girl dad Jax
a/n: The chapter I've kept y'all waiting for is finally here! Feedback (reblogs/comments/likes) is always appreciated!
Bright laughter and the soft chatter of birds perched in the towering trees blended serenely together in the warm afternoon. You sat partially covered in shade on a park bench, the leaves of the nearby tree rustling in a gentle breeze as you stretched your legs out along the sidewalk which spanned the perimeter of the playground. But as you shifted against the wood, crossing one ankle over the other, your index finger tapped a nervous rhythm against the iced coffee in your hand.
Fortunately, Emilia was completely unaware of your growing anxiety, too busy playing on the playground with the other children to have noticed your unusual mood today. Your foot absently bounced as you watched her, nerves shooting through you in anticipation of the upcoming introduction between her and Jax. Your stomach gave another uncomfortable swoop at the thought of them finally meeting after all these years.
Bringing the coffee cup slick with condensation to your lips, you sipped on it while the mid-day sun bathed your bare legs in its warmth. But the caffeine failed to ease the nauseating twist of your insides, and your foot bounced a little faster, moving in tandem with the elevated beat of your heart. Across the park, Emilia ducked around a slide and crouched down behind it, a wide smile drawn over her face. She was completely oblivious to the significance of coming here today, looking as carefree as you wished you could feel.
Her giggle drifted towards you as a few of the other little kids began hiding in various spots around the playground while one little boy wandered in search of them. The corner of your lips curved at the comical sight of them attempting to play a game of hide-and-seek when they didn't quite grasp the concept of keeping quiet and staying hidden. You spotted a few kids peeking their heads out of their hiding places before laughing loudly and ducking back into their spot.
As a few more minutes gradually passed, you slid your phone out of your pocket just enough to check the time on the screen.You still had yet to hear anything from Jax. You’d checked your phone every few minutes ever since you'd finished your shift at St. Thomas and headed to the park, but he hadn’t called or sent a single text. He hadn’t even responded to the one you’d sent him when you’d swung by the little cafe downtown to grab yourself a coffee. There was still no sign of him anywhere, no proof that he even remembered agreeing to this meeting.
Teeth anxiously sinking into your bottom lip, you chewed nervously on it as your foot bounced a little faster atop the other one. Had Jax talked himself out of coming to meet her in the end? Had he gotten cold feet about actually wanting to be in his daughter’s life, letting his fears get the better of him? He hadn't contacted you at all today, hadn't acknowledged that text you’d sent a bit ago telling him that you would be at the park soon. Considering how he'd initially reacted to the news about Em when you’d told him he had a daughter, the idea of him bailing at the last minute on you both didn’t seem completely out of the realm of possibility.
Slipping your phone back into your pocket with a defeated sigh, you focused back on the playground. Em was peering around the slide now, searching for the little boy who was still looking for everyone playing their game of hide-and-seek. Eyes wandering around the park, you observed the other moms stationed along the handful of benches and picnic tables. Most of them were either looking at their phones or reading a book, occasionally glancing up long enough to locate their kid before going back to what they were doing.
Bringing your iced coffee back to your lips, you took another long drink as you tried to calm the nervous bouncing of your foot, forcing it to remain still as your toes curled inside your shoes in protest. This was exactly why you hadn’t told Em that you'd planned to meet anyone here today, because you didn't want her to be disappointed if Jax didn't come. Even if she would’ve had no idea who was really coming to see you, you hadn’t wanted to give Jax the opportunity to let her down.
But you could feel your heart steadily wilting inside of your chest at his glaring absence. How long were you supposed to wait for him before you finally gave up and accepted the fact that he'd changed his mind? You'd arrived here twenty minutes ago, eventually you’d need to get Em back home so that you could make dinner before starting the typical bath and bedtime routine. You couldn't stay here all afternoon hoping he would eventually show.
Lowering your iced coffee to your lap, the condensation along the bottom of the plastic cup dampened the top of your thigh. Maybe it was foolish that you’d ever gotten your hopes up in the first place believing that Jax would’ve wanted to be in Em's life. But he'd seemed so genuinely interested in learning about her yesterday morning at the diner, and he’d sounded so earnest to meet her, that you were certain he’d already be here waiting for the both of you when you’d arrived. Or at the very least, that he’d acknowledge your text and let you know that he was on his way to the park.
You supposed it was quite likely that he’d changed his mind, and maybe that meant it would always just be you and Em. You thought you'd accepted that reality years ago, but having fate unexpectedly throw Jax back into your lives had felt significant. You hoped it meant that things were meant to change, hoped that it meant Emilia would finally get to know her father and that you wouldn’t be so alone in parenting her. But maybe it was ridiculous to have been so hopeful when you should’ve just known that meeting him again was merely an odd coincidence instead of something as profound as fate.
With your faith in Jax steadily dwindling, you spiraled deeper into the disappointing loop of thoughts plaguing your mind until the distant rumble of an approaching motorcycle tore through the peaceful afternoon. The telltale growl grew louder, making its way towards the little park in downtown Charming. Inhaling a sudden breath, you straightened on the bench as you held it. Just because you’d heard a bike didn’t necessarily mean that it was Jax, even if it sounded like a single motorcycle and not a group of them like you'd grown accustomed to hearing around town.
Every one of the other moms at the park visibly stiffened where they sat, their heads darting up almost simultaneously. The noise of a bike drawing so near had caught their attention like a neon sign flashing a warning over the playground. Each of them had grown tense, their eyes finding their children on the playground and watching them with far more caution than they'd been doing a minute ago. With how the majority of Charming reacted towards the Sons, and now after witnessing the other moms’ very curious reactions, you’d begun to wonder who exactly Emilia’s father actually was–though that would take longer than one afternoon to unpack.
When the motorcycle finally pulled up next to the park, you turned your head over your shoulder. You recognized the leather kutte before catching sight of the blonde hair peeking out from beneath the man's helmet. Relief washed over you in waves, and you finally exhaled the breath you'd been holding, the fear of Jax not showing draining straight from your body. The smallest smile slipped onto your face, grateful that he'd turned up after all and that he hadn’t left you hanging.
Jax slowly rolled his bike to a stop beside the curb before throwing the kickstand down and cutting the engine. An eerie silence temporarily swallowed the entire park as the roar of his motorcycle quieted, leaving you far too aware of the sound of your blood rushing through your veins. Even the birds briefly grew still as if sensing something dangerous, their chatter temporarily ceasing in the trees. But the moment passed quickly, and the sounds of kids playing and laughing soon resumed.
Jax undid the buckle of his helmet, removing it and hanging it over the handlebar of his bike. Both of his hands took their time running through his hair afterwards, his fingers smoothing the pieces that’d fallen out of place during his ride, putting them back where they belonged. He easily swung his leg over his bike afterwards, his golden hair catching the sunlight as he dismounted his Harley.
You were so distracted with his arrival, mesmerized by the little gestures of him putting himself back together, that you hadn’t realized you'd been staring. You also hadn't noticed that you were no longer alone on the bench, unaware that Em had suddenly hopped up onto it beside you until her small voice caused you to jump. Your grip instinctively tightened around the plastic coffee cup in your hand, squeezing it so hard that a bit of coffee splashed up onto the lid.
“Mama, look!” she exclaimed, pointing a finger at where you were already looking. “It's a Harley!”
“Yeah, bunny,” you agreed, trying to calm the racing of your heart from both of their sudden appearances. Watching Jax had surprisingly caused your pulse to quicken for more reasons than just nerves. “It is a Harley.”
Tearing your eyes away from Jax as he stepped around the front of his bike, you glanced down to see Emilia kneeling backwards on the bench. Both of her hands were holding onto the backrest as she bounced excitedly on her knees, her eyes lingering on the man that she had no idea was actually her father.
“Can I go see it?” she asked. Her head darted swiftly towards you before she fixed you with her pleading, puppy dog eyes. “Please? Please? Please?”
The corner of your lip twitched at her excitement, the sight of it somewhat calming the nerves that had been eating away at you all day today. Jax was here now, and Em would no doubt find a way to break the ice with him, especially if she got to talk about his bike. It seemed like the perfect way to let them get to know each other, even if Jax had absolutely no idea what he was in for with her enthusiasm for motorcycles.
“Well, maybe,” you answered carefully. “But only because he's uh–”
Breaking off, your mouth hung open as you tried to figure out how to address this situation with her. You’d not told her that you were meeting anyone at the park today solely because you didn’t want her disappointed if Jax did bail on the initial plans. And you’d already agreed with Jax yesterday morning that he wouldn’t be ‘dad’ to her just yet, but that he’d initially be introduced to her as one of your friends. Now you needed to figure out how to navigate that part with her.
“He uh, he's actually someone that I wanted you to meet today,” you awkwardly finished.
Her little brows furrowed adorably together in confusion at the strained smile that had spread over your face. Tipping her head to the side, she stared up at you like she was trying hard to understand what you meant, because Jax wasn’t arriving with a kid for a playdate. Her confusion made sense considering you'd never introduced her to a man before. Not like this. Usually meeting someone at the park meant another mom and someone for her to play with, or sometimes back in Fresno you invited a friend who would hang out with you while she played on the playground. So this was…different.
“Is he your boyfriend?” she asked.
A nervous laugh fell out of you before you quickly shook your head at the question. Of course she would think that, it was the most logical leap for her to make, but you didn't want that idea planting itself in her mind. As much as you missed the idea of having someone to rely on instead of always having to be the one relied on, you knew that wasn't possible. Not with Jax, not now. And it wasn't as if you knew him well enough to know whether you'd even want that with him down the road, either.
“No,” you answered her. “He's just a new friend I made while I was working at the hospital. He wanted to come visit with us this afternoon. Is that okay?”
Emilia nodded her head enthusiastically, a toothy grin spreading over her face. “Yeah!” she exclaimed. “I like making new friends!”
Turning her attention back to where Jax was sauntering through the grass and towards the park bench where you both sat, Em abruptly stood up on the bench beside you. She raised one hand in the air and started waving wildly at him in greeting, the beaded bracelets on her wrists lightly clacking together as she did.
Looking back over your shoulder, your own gaze found its way back to Jax. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, and there was a tiny, lopsided smile sliding onto his face directed at Emilia. Your heart tightened at the sight of it. Despite the nervous edge to him, you could see something else lingering in his gaze as he neared, and it melted the rest of those fears you’d had of him skipping out on you and Em.
“Hey,” you greeted him. “Glad you could make it.”
Jax's gaze shifted to you when you'd spoken, nodding his head back at you in greeting. But his attention returned to your daughter as he gradually came to a stop right behind the bench, his hands still stuffed in his pockets.
“Sorry, busy morning. Got held up a little,” he explained, still smiling down at Em. “But I wasn't gonna miss hangin’ out for a bit.”
Em didn't hesitate to reach her little hand out past the back of the bench where she stood, a warm smile on her face as she looked up at Jax. There wasn’t the slightest hint of intimidation in the friendly way she grinned up at him, even when she was faced with the leather and his tattoos. That seemed to throw Jax off, and his brows creased together as he looked down at her extended hand.
“Hi,” she chirped brightly. “I'm Emilia. You’re mama’s new friend?”
Jax’s eyes flickered briefly over to you, one brow slightly arching onto his forehead in obvious hesitantce. The smile grew on your face as you shrugged a shoulder back at him, the gesture saying ‘I told you she’s outgoing.’ You’d forewarned him that Em lacked a fear of strangers, and now he was about to experience that firsthand.
“Yeah, I am,” Jax answered slowly, switching his attention back down to Emilia. He reached out, his large hand engulfing her smaller one as he shook it gently. “I’m Jax.”
When he released her hand, she immediately peered around him on the bench, craning her neck as her attention fell back on his bike parked beside the curb. Her eyes widened in glee as she leaned over the back of the bench, pointing a finger at the Harley he’d just ridden to the park on.
“Is that yours?” she asked him.
Jax turned his head over his shoulder, following where her little finger was pointing. His mouth curled into a broad smile before his head swiveled back towards her. A glint of pride flickered in his eyes as he nodded.
“Yeah,” he answered. “She’s mine.”
“Can I see it?”
Emilia’s question came almost before Jax had finished answering, her excitement drawing a low chuckle out of him. Biting your bottom lip, you tried to contain the smile on your face, but your cheeks already ached at the effort. You’d had a feeling that Emilia would be all over his motorcycle the second she spotted it, and you swore you could already feel the countless questions about to bubble up out of her mouth as she waited impatiently for Jax’s answer.
“I suppose that depends,” Jax carefully replied. Glancing back at you, both of his brows faintly rose onto his forehead. “Is that alright with mom?”
An intense surge of warmth unexpectedly tingled its way up your spine at hearing Jax call you ‘mom’ so casually to your shared daughter. The sensation threw you off entirely, your stomach clenching as both of them questioningly watched you and waited for an answer. Emilia was still hopping up and down on the bench in her pink Nikes, her eyes wide as she kept repeating a quiet string of ‘please, please, please, please’ while Jax’s head tipped curiously to the side at your extended pause. Tongue slipping out to wet your dry lips, you forced a smile onto your face as you nodded, clearing your throat.
“Yeah, that’s–that’s fine,” you said, embarrassed by the faint breathlessness to your words. “Just uh, just as long as you don’t let her convince you to take her on a ride.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, darlin’,” Jax said, shooting you a wink. “I know better than that.”
Emilia let out an excited squeal that drew Jax’s attention straight to her as she hopped off the bench. You were grateful she’d drawn his eyes away from you, not wanting him to notice the way he’d just flustered you. You’d surprisingly liked hearing him call you ‘mom’ to Emilia far more than you should’ve, and that wink he’d given you wasn’t helping matters. But all those feelings he’d just stirred up inside of you were dangerous. You were only supposed to be friends. The sexual attraction that still lingered between you both needed to be pushed aside for Emilia’s sake.
In true Emilia fashion, your four year old confidently grabbed Jax by the hand and started pulling him over towards his parked motorcycle on the street. The way Jax’s face twisted into something surprised had you laughing softly to yourself, fondly shaking your head at your daughter and how quickly she could take control of a situation. You assumed that was something she’d inherited from Jax.
Bringing your almost finished iced coffee back to your lips, you took a sip and tried to cool the heat creeping up the back of your neck as they headed over to his motorcycle. You caught bits and pieces of her questions as she began her onslaught of them, and you wondered what was running through Jax’s head with each one she shot his way. Especially with the way she was looking up at him with those wide eyes alight with curiosity and enthusiasm, her little hand still dragging him to his motorcycle.
Without warning, tears abruptly sprung forth in your eyes at seeing the pair of them together. You fought hard to blink them back, trying to quell the ambush of emotion before it could fully surface. But there was something about Emilia having absolutely no idea that the man answering all her eager questions was the very same father she’d been curiously asking you about recently, and you’d found yourself struck with some of your own indecipherable feelings watching them.
Sitting silently on the bench with your coffee, you observed both of them from a distance as they talked, trying to keep yourself composed. Jax had crouched down to her height once they’d gotten to his Harley, pointing at various things on his bike, but you were too far to hear what they were saying. Emilia would sometimes light up, animatedly saying something that clearly shocked Jax judging by the expressions he’d make. No doubt she was impressing him with her vast knowledge of motorcycles, a topic that completely baffled the hell out of you.
You watched them for a while bonding over the bike, each minute growing more increasingly aware of that weird pull you always felt around Jax. When you’d first felt it all those years ago, you’d chalked it up to an intense sexual attraction and left it at that. You assumed that was why you’d brought him home with you from the bar back then when that had been an entirely out of character thing for you to do. After you’d run into him again since moving to Charming, you assumed that was why you’d still felt that pull just as strongly as you had that night five years ago. He was undeniably attractive, even more now than back then, and you also knew how satisfying sex with him was after experiencing it firsthand. But seeing the way he was crouched in the grass being so patient with Em’s constant chatter right now–because she could really get going on a topic she liked–you wondered if there was more to it than just desire.
But that was not a topic you could explore further, not even within the safety of your own mind.
When you’d finished with your coffee, you stood up from the bench and walked over towards a nearby garbage bin to toss the cup. It wasn’t until you’d stopped focusing on Jax and Em that you noticed the odd shift at the park. All of the other mothers were no longer distracted by their phones and their books while just occasionally monitoring their children. Instead, they were watching you closely while sending Jax wary, distrustful looks as he showed Emilia his bike, their books and phones forgotten.
Tossing your empty cup into the garbage, a frown creased across your lips at the judgement and scrutiny that you could practically feel from their stares. Clearly, you were missing something when it came to the Sons of Anarchy. You’d heard enough about them in the halls at St. Thomas, especially when Chibs had been staying there after his accident. But while you’d been his nurse for those few days that he’d been recovering from his accident, you’d never felt that he was someone you needed to fear ever hurting you or your daughter. You got the same feeling about Jax. There was a dangerous aura about them, but nothing quite like that.
Maybe you were missing something, or maybe the town was just that distrusting of the outliers that lived here. Either way, he was still Em’s father and you’d intended to give him a chance to be in her life–so long as his presence never invited danger into your and Em’s lives in return. You hoped that his motorcycle club wouldn’t become an issue that eventually stood in the way of his relationship with her, whatever it was they did.
While you were making your way back to the bench, you heard Em loudly calling out to you. Looking over, you found her once more dragging Jax by the hand back through the grass and over towards you, bouncing so excitedly that she was practically skipping. The way his smile reached his eyes had a slightly stupid grin slipping onto your face before you could pull it back into something less embarrassing. Your thoughts quickly switched from his club to that flare of hope burning a little warmer in your chest at the sight of them together, catching just a few facts about his bike that Em rattled off in rapidfire to you as they approached.
“Wow, bunny,” you said, only somewhat catching something about a V-twin engine. “Sounds like you learned a lot.”
“I want a motorcycle!” Em exclaimed, dragging Jax towards you. “Just like that one!”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes, having already heard this demand far too many times since you’d moved to Charming. “You’re too young, bunny. And you should learn to ride an actual bicycle first,” you told her. “That’s a little more important.”
“Can’t blame you for wantin’ one, sweetheart,” Jax said. They slowed to a stop when they reached you, and you caught the playful wink Jax sent her. “I wanted my own since I was your age. But like your mama said, I couldn’t get one ‘til I was older. You still got a few years to go.”
Your heart unexpectedly gave a jolt at hearing him call her ‘sweetheart’ so casually, noticing the way it made her smile grow brighter. When Em’s head whipped back in your direction, she was practically beaming. That was all the proof you needed to know that Jax had somehow just become her new favorite person in all of Charming. Before you could ask if Jax wanted to join you on the bench, Em opened her mouth and was already fixing you with another set of puppy dog eyes.
“Can he come to princess night?” she asked. “Please?”
Her request caught you so off guard that your mouth fell open and you floundered for an answer. Princess night generally consisted of Em dressing up in an over the top sparkly dress and picking out a Disney movie to watch while eating some unhealthy meal that you didn’t usually have to cook. And that was typically followed up with nail painting and doing each other’s hair. Somehow you highly doubted that the biker president would want to listen to Elsa belting out “Let It Go" while getting his fingernails painted a sparkly periwinkle.
“Oh, well,” you began, your eyes darting between a hopeful Emilia and a now confused Jax, “I–I imagine Jax has things going on tomorrow night, bunny. That’s sort of last minute and I’m sure he’s not available. Plus that’s probably not something he’d really want to–”
“I’m not busy tomorrow night, darlin’,” Jax said, cutting you off. When he caught the way your mouth snapped shut and your stare met his, he abruptly added, “Assumin’ it’s cool with you. I don’t wanna intrude or nothin’.”
The second Emilia let out a shrill squeal of excitement, you already knew there was no way you could turn Jax away. If she wanted him there that badly, and Jax was insisting on being available instead of taking the out you were offering, then you supposed you had a third princess for princess night in the shape of a tall, blonde biker.
“Alright,” you relented, weakly shrugging your shoulders. “Suppose if he wants to come, he can come.”
Emilia hopped up and down excitedly as she spun towards Jax, still tightly clutching his hand in both of hers. To your surprise, he didn’t look remotely terrified of the unrestrained exuberance of the four year old girl currently attached to his hand.
“It’ll be so fun!” she told him, the words spilling out of her in a rush. “We always watch movies and eat lots of food and we–”
She didn’t have a chance to finish listing off her plans for princess night because a few of the kids at the playground began calling her name, waving her over to join them for a game of tag. Considering she still had the attention span of the average child, she released Jax’s hand and bolted across the playground to go join the others for the game that was beginning with an abrupt goodbye, leaving you alone with Jax and quickly ending that discussion.
“How do you keep up with her?” Jax questioned, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder in the direction Em had bolted in. “Or is she not always like that?”
You grinned, leading the pair of you back over to the bench. “That’s generally how she is unless she’s having a bad day,” you told him. “She’s much calmer if she’s tired or sad. But my only defense is lots and lots of coffee. Or bringing her to the park so that other kids can wear her out, because I certainly can’t.”
Jax settled down onto the bench beside you, intentionally leaving a good bit of distance between you both. You became acutely aware of him, watching him slouch back against the backrest, his thighs spreading open wide as he slung an arm over the back of the bench, his hand less than a foot from your shoulder. The urge to scoot closer to his side struck you like an irritating itch, but you promptly ignored it.
“So how’re you handling things so far?” you asked him. “Still freaking out about the whole dad thing, or…?”
His attention was fixed straight ahead, a small grin playing at his lips as he watched Emilia on the playground. “A little,” he admitted. “But somehow it feels a little less terrifyin’ after meeting her. She’s just so…” He shot you a sidelong look as he trailed off, that lopsided grin on his face making your heart thud. “She knows so much ‘bout Harleys. I swear she knows more about ‘em than some of the guys workin’ at the garage. How the hell is she so damn smart?”
You pulled a face, shaking your head. “Not a clue,” you answered truthfully. “When it comes to something she’s interested in, she absorbs everything she can like a sponge. I’ve read her countless books about motorcycles that we’ve gotten at the library, but I can’t even retain half of that stuff. Somehow she always tries to make sense of it. It never ceases to impress me, either.”
Jax hummed thoughtfully, his gaze following Emilia as she darted around the swings trying to escape the little girl who was currently ‘it’ in their game of tag. You glanced over, noticing that Jax’s knee had inched closer to your thigh. You wondered if he was as aware of his proximity as you were.
“Gonna guess she got the brains from you,” he mused quietly.
Your gaze slowly trailed away from his knee, traveling up his body in that relaxed posture he’d settled along the bench with until it landed on his face. His attention shifted from Emilia over on the playground to you, his stare meeting yours with a quiet intensity. The lopsided smile faded into something softer, and you felt your skin prickling and your stomach doing odd little flutters the longer he held your eyes captive.
Because there it was again, that odd pull towards him. The air between you two felt heated and thick with something that didn’t generally linger between just any two people. As the silence stretched on between you both, you found yourself forgetting whatever he’d just said, too busy getting lost in the ocean of his eyes which seemed to change colors in the sunlight.
You hadn’t realized how long you’d been staring until he cut the moment short, finally looking away and focusing back on the playground. Swallowing thickly, you tried to ignore the heat burning up through your cheeks as you found Emilia hurtling herself down a slide with a shriek of laughter. It appeared as if she was the one trying to do the tagging now, and you attempted to distract yourself with that instead of the odd way your body was responding to Jax.
“So what the hell is princess night anyway?” Jax asked, breaking the tension.
Despite the strange moment that had just transpired between you both, a laugh bubbled up out of you. He’d agreed to come to something without having the slightest clue what he’d agreed to, and you couldn’t wait to see how that would pan out for him in the end.
“It’s a night that I started with her almost a year ago,” you explained. “It was just meant to make one night a week easier on me because it’s fast food or an easy dinner, so I don’t really have to cook, but I thought it’d be more fun if we watched Disney movies and painted our nails. So over time it became a whole thing.”
“Okay, well I ain’t doin’ that when I come over,” he stated with a shake of his head.
An amused snort met his firm refusal. “Yeah, okay,” you sarcastically replied. “Good luck convincing Em of that. I’ve got a feeling she’s going to want to stick bows in your hair, Rapunzel.”
Jax rolled his eyes, a grin stretching over his lips as he watched Em running around the playground. “Ain’t happenin’,” he repeated. “I ain’t that kinda guy. I don’t do bows, not even for little girls.”
Giving him a sideways glance, you took in the wide grin on his face and the way his eyes were tracking Em across the playground. He was watching her with the same spark of wonder and intrigue that you always saw play across Em’s face when she spotted a group of motorcycles riding down the road. A low hum vibrated in the back of your throat, not entirely as convinced about that as he sounded.
“Guess we’ll see tomorrow night,” you said. Biting your lip, you felt a grin tugging at your lips before you blurted out a teasing, “Rapunzel.”
His blue eyes shot away from Em, landing on you at the playful jab. His brows rose up onto his forehead, his lips curving into something cheeky that had your stomach doing some dangerous somersaults. It hit you hard in that moment–seeing him as just Emilia’s father might prove more difficult than you’d initially thought.
Ahh thank you!! Hearing from you all means so much to me!!!!
I agree! We do need more people who write for him!!!
I try to update shake the frost as soon as possible!! My workplace does a summerbreak for July and August so I’ve been trying to do as many shifts as possible while still going to uni so I’ve been slacking on the writing front a little :/
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