Kendra's Closet

I am a 28 year old Minnesotan living in Portland, OR. I'm a little obsessed with my Boston Terrier Alfie, shoes and living life with no regrets. Welcome to my closet :)

[kendra-ackerman]

Heard this song on a B-list Horror movie I watched the other day, called Kristy. Such a good work-out song or just a mood-booster! 

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Rosie Huntington-Whitley & Jason Statham:

This beautiful couple looks gorgeous together. Whitley plays it safe in unique cut black dress but hey, she could wear a plastic bag and still look amazing. Favorite couple at the Critics Choice Awards.

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Aya Cash: While most women show up in beautiful dresses, Cash shows up in a classy menswear ensemble. Love it!

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Rachel McAdams- 

one of my favorite looks so far from the 2016 Critics Choice Awards. Oxblood red is the best! 

[kendra-ackerman]

The Little Things

Ever since the drive to Portland it had been a while since I stopped and “smelled the roses.” Literally and figuratively. After being wrapped up in life for so long, small gestures and priceless moments are few and far between if you aren’t looking for them. Taking in my surroundings truly is a chore for me sometimes and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Technology makes life easier but gets in the way of truly appreciating things around us. Extracting myself from my comfort zone and putting down my phone have been a huge step in appreciating life. I got a tattoo with my friend Bre (hey girl hey!) in college and I’m happy to say that it isn’t of something I regret. At times I even forget I have it. It says “Life is Beautiful” in Italian. Those three words bring me back to a mind set that life can be terrible and hard but if you look for the beauty of things rather than the negative effects it can do wonders. Being able to start a new chapter in an unfamiliar city has been a blessing on its own. 

At one point I felt a tinge of homesickness when someone asked me what “hot dish” was or when I think of family and friends that get to see each other whenever they want but it’s a passing thought. My Boston Terrier Alfie wakes up every morning and gets to run around with his disgusting dog toys in the backyard and is the happiest dog in the world. Speaking of backyard, there are trees loaded with figs, plums and (soon!) ripe enough to eat apples. Did I mention that having a blackberry bush is a normal thing to have out here? Waking up and hearing my neighbors’ duck squawking has even become a little thing that brings me joy. How? I’m not quite sure. The kids playing a house over, laughing, then fighting, then quickly getting over it and laughing again. The change in the leaves as summer quickly comes to an end. I feel like I haven’t appreciated those sorts of things for a long time and actually taken a moment to digest that life is truly beautiful. Money can by happiness to an extent but never lasts. Memories and moments are what matter now that I am over a thousand miles away from what’s comfortable to me. 

[kendra-ackerman]

It's the little things.

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Letting go and loving Me

I will be 27 years young in October. As scary as that is knowing I am slowly creeping towards 30 I am slowly but surely starting to understand the meaning of “loving yourself”. It took long enough but I finally understand. Two years ago I had went to Jamaica with Jordan. Anyone not living under a rock knows that means lots of fruity, sugary drinks, living in a bathing suit and forgetting what a diet is. I mean, Jamaican Jerk chicken? You haven’t lived until you eat the real thing. I took that to its extent and after we got back from a week of bliss I sat down and looked over all the photos we had taken there. I was disgusted. I didn’t like what I saw in the photos of myself. I was at my heaviest and I immediately wanted to take action in correcting that. After lots of hard work and the help of a 24-day program that Advocare offers, I lost 15 pounds on the program and 15 more by myself. I was SO excited. I could fit into old jeans from college and buy a size in new clothing I hadn’t been able to since senior year of high school. I was elated. With that also came the fear that if I don’t work hard enough or eat the right things I would gain it all back. I tirelessly worked out 5-6 times a week and put that before any other plans. While it was great that I lost all this weight and felt super great, I was a slave to my health. I also knew that after hard days of work a 4-5 mile run would help me calm down. Around this time is when I went to the doctor and was told I had severe anxiety and needed to take a step in the right direction at getting a hold of that. I realized working out completely helped me and cleared my mind of stress and anxiety.

While being healthy is well, healthy, I knew that this lifestyle wasn’t. It took moving to Portland for me to realize that life (for me) isn’t about fitting into those size 4 jeans, or suffering through the fact that all I want is another piece of pizza. It’s being happy in my own skin and accepting that I’m not the girl that has self-control with food 24/7. As jealous as I am over people that can live a healthy life all the time, it just isn’t me. I like greasy food and beer. Sometimes fast food just tastes too damn good. Jordan and I took a week driving from Minneapolis, MN to Portland, OR and I thoroughly enjoyed eating or drinking anything I wanted to. As much as I tried squeezing in a work out here or there or trying to order a healthier option for food, it was more of a chore than anything. When we arrived to the Pacific Northwest I hopped on the scale and realized I had gained 8-10 pounds. I was immediately anxious and terrified. We have been out here since the beginning of June and I can proudly say I haven’t lost those 10 pounds and finally I am ok about it. Beating myself up about 10 pounds isn’t worth it to me anymore. I’m happy, I’m exploring what Portland has to offer, and I took a serving job at a restaurant that brews its own beer and has really good comfort food. Yes I have a gym membership, yes I have dusted off those old Jillian Michaels videos but it’s to maintain my health and become stronger, not skinnier. I’m aware of what I’m eating but not punishing myself if I cave in. Life is so much more than a number on a scale and I am so glad I have finally realized that.

[kendra-ackerman]

Midwest to Pacific Northwest

When my boyfriend Jordan and I decided we wanted to move out of state, it was the most exhilarating and ballsy thing I have done to date (totally didn’t mean to rhyme). I’ve lived in the great state of Minnesota my whole life but always dreamed of living elsewhere. It wasn’t just a fad that would quickly pass, it was a lifelong dream for both of us. I suppose you could say we had a case of Wanderlust. I have traveled throughout my life but it was never enough. Instead of being glad I was home after a weeklong trip, I wanted to start planning the next because I was overwhelmed with the feeling that there is so much else to witness and explore. I wanted to soak it all in. Living in a small town growing up sheltered me in ways but not the idea of wanting to live elsewhere, especially in a big city. Sure Minneapolis, MN is a great city with a lot of our friends living there but we were looking for something else. I, for one, felt like we outgrew Minneapolis. So, after countless research and long talks, Seattle, San Francisco, San Diego and Portland were our top choices. Of course, Portland won. Next step, telling our family, friends and jobs we were throwing caution to the wind and literally moving across the country. Keep in mind to a place we’ve never visited, with no one we know in town, and with no jobs. This is what Jordan and I wanted to do, so we did it. 

Two months later, after lots of unpacking, learning, and money, here I am blogging about it. The one thought that never left my mind when we made this decision  is that when I am 80 years old I want to look back on my life and remember what I did, not what I didn’t. I don’t want to look back and think, dang it I wish I wasn’t so scared and just moved when I was younger. My Dad is convinced I’ll get over this “stage” and move back home in a few years because Minnesota is the greatest state there ever was. He also believes anywhere BUT Minnesota has double the crime rates and crappy weather. This is coming from a man that traveled the world in the Navy. Secretly I know he just didn’t want to see his little girl leaving. Maybe he’s right, maybe we’ll end up back in Minnesota. Maybe we’ll end up in a small town in Oklahoma. But, what if we don’t? That’s the beauty of it all. For once in my life I just don’t want to plan. I just want to live. 

[kendra-ackerman]

Ins...what?

Inspiration is hard to come by these days with so many concrete jungles and not enough Mother Nature to go around. Where is a girl supposed to get enlightenment when all there is to come by is power lines and new cement development. Still thinking about that.

[kendra-ackerman]

I not only love this song because it is one of the greatest songs of the 80s (to me anyways), it was on Sex and the City 2 film and one of my favorite "The Voice" contestants truly made me root for her because of this song. Enjoy!  

[kendra-ackerman]

Lazy Days

Has anyone ever noticed that when days you just want to veg around and be lazy it's sunny and beautiful but days when an important event is taking place it's down pouring and cold? I'll never know.

[kendra-ackerman]

Skills for Thought

When surfing the web, I always find myself gravitating towards the PR Daily site for witty articles about the world of public relations. When applying for jobs, the second paragraph of the job description usually lists skills that are required for the job. For me, that is usually when I either read on or click the back button. But what I don't realize is that for any job, there are other skills and attributes that may trump the usual skills of that particular occupation. 

Maybe a particular skill that a person has picked up from a previous job can benefit more than they thought. This may seem very obvious, but if everyone had the very same skills and qualifications, how would anyone get a job? How would anyone ever stand out among the crowd? Having a passion in comics or a knack for historical literature may seem like something that wouldn't matter, but the person doing the hiring may be passionate about the very same thing. Just when you think that the guy with the weird haircut in the cubicle over may never see you as an equal, his passion for Spider Man may be equally as pathetic as yours. 

[kendra-ackerman]

Quality over Quanity?

I've noticed over the years, (particularly the last five years) I've accumulated a vast amount of "stuff". I remember going to the local mall on a Friday afternoon in college in search of an affordable outfit for the night. Mostly every time I would go, I would look for quantity, not quality. Not only because I wanted more bang for my buck, but because my paychecks were next to nothing. Now that I am establishing myself as a woman, I am beginning to realize that certain essentials aren't the best at a small price. This may label me as materialistic, but I've only just realized that quality over quantity seems more sensible in the long run.

If I wear cheap make-up my faces breaks out. If I buy cheap footwear, they don't last as long. If I buy cheap rings, etc. my finger turns green. Just as a few quality friends are better than ten fake ones, certain things mean more to me than others. This small thought can apply to many things in my life. I believe that this thought process sometimes can be a little foggy, but I am glad I've realized it. 

[kendra-ackerman]

I love this city.

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Fabulous Four 

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Olsen Twins. Glamorous