the truth is that shang qinghua didn’t understand why mobei-jun kept him around anymore. if shang qinghua thought abt the pros vs the cons, well there wasn’t any pros left.
“don’t...” mobei-jun said. his cold hand drowsily grabbed shang qinghua’s in the middle of the night. of course he was recovering from saving shang qinghua’s life again, that man had gone from double agent peak lord to human outcast back to esteemed peak lord only to be subjected to being kidnapped for a demon king’s ransom. the whole situation felt a little silly, airplane had written every single one of these characters into creation just to be abused by them in such a way! but all of this just confused shang qinghua even more. just what was shang qinghua’s purpose in this mobei-jun’s story at this point when all he had left to do is cause trouble?
“don’t....” mobei-jun repeated. his hands were always cold, shang qinghua didn’t notice how well he had adjusted to this.
“don’t what, my king? i was just going to go and get you a cup of tea to help you recover...” shang qinghua spoke quietly from mobei-jun’s bedside. mobei-jun continued to look at him.
“.....i have servants to do that sort of thing,” he responded in the low voice. shang qinghua blinked twice. aren’t i the servant who should be doing that sort of thing?
“are—are you sure, my king? i don’t mind it if you want something to drink. have you eaten anything today? i can—“
“no.” then mobei-jun waited a moment. “every time i let you out of my sight, you disappear...”
which....was not untrue. shang qinghua was cursed in this way, any day he begged mobei-jun for permission to travel away for a few days, he never came back. none of it was his fault—bandits, demons, humans with worse intentions and higher cultivations—it always made him feel suspect when he had to explain to his savior that he wasn’t running away from him!! it was just a poor situation!! the present shang qinghua was only but an easy target, but the present mobei-jun...
“my king...” shang qinghua couldn’t fathom his own character’s intentions anymore. if he didn’t exist in this world to be ordered around or to be slapped around by his sworn king, then what was the purpose of him staying around for so long? to write poetry or love stories under a surname for the public? if that was the case, did he have to do so under the roof of the northern demon kingdom? shang qinghua stayed at the manor, his food was specially delivered from huanhua place, his ink was always high end, his own worries or missions were low. he was almost always accompanied by such a powerful ascended demon king. after all the years shang qinghua had semi righteously stayed by mobei-jun’s side all the way up until saving him from death, saving him twice from death, he didn’t expect his life to turn out like this.
if shang qinghua indulged in any small hobbies of his, mobei-jun observed quietly from the sidelines with his eyebrows almost noticeably raised. if shang qinghua ever took a trip to an ding peak, upon his departure back to the demon realm mobei-jun would patiently wait at the bottom of the mountain to escort him back safely. if shang qinghua ever wanted or needed something mobei-jun would do his best to bring it life, going as far as cooking him dinner upon request. whether it was mealtime or bedtime, mobei-jun would listen to shang qinghua’s ramblings about storybooks or tales from home, florals he’d seen or recipes he’d learn, there would be calm idle chatter.
shang qinghua had pretended not to notice the way his sworn king had claimed him by switching his ribbon while tying his hair up one morning as per shang qinghua’s request. he pretended not to notice that mobei-jun had stopped hitting him and had actually resorted to patting his head every so often. but shang qinghua really hadn’t noticed at all the way mobei-jun let him touch his face and hair and arms in a way he wouldn’t have been allowed to in years before. nor did he notice the softness in mobei-jun’s face as they spent their time together. on cold days draped in his king’s heavy cloak, shang qinghua would forget to pay attention to how slow and easy their lifestyle was, only after dark would he start to wonder what he was doing, and why he was allowed to be doing it.
mobei-jun gazed at shang qinghua for a moment longer, then turned his head away looking towards the dark night sky.
“don’t.........go. don’t go anymore. just stay here. stay......by my side,” he said quietly. his voice hadn’t been cold towards shang qinghua in years, tonight was no different. “come here and lay down with me.”
shang qinghua stared at him before just doing what he was told—which is just what he does best. but he still didn’t understand. what about our situation keeps in such a great mood? especially if im no longer useful to him, why now does he want my company? why would someone want someone as un-useful as me...while looking at the back of his king’s head, and feeling the hand grabbing his quiver just slightly, shang qinghua ignored those kinds of thoughts again. a familiar wave a warmth passed over his heart while looking at this person lying next to him.
“goodnight my king,” shang qinghua whispered. “and hurry and get better, i don’t want to lie in bed all day! let’s go into to town and purchase a new book once you’ve recovered.”
“......en”
“and.....there’s a new pastry i’d really like to try in the city! some fried and covered in sugar.”
“.....en”
and there’s something i wanted to buy...
mobei-jun turned and looked at shang qinghua. only shang qiuhua could tell his expression was of curiosity and not indifference.
something to remind you that i won’t run away...
these are words that he wouldn’t say out loud, he wanted trinkets to remind them of each other. maybe he could waive some of his king’s uneasiness this way. a secret plan to nonchalantly give mobei-jun a piece of himself.
“my king, what are you smiling about?” if you could even call that a smile! shang qinghua still didn’t understand why mobei-jun continued to let him live in such a way, especially after all his initial duties were over. but in the end, he couldn’t ignore how much he enjoyed being in this kind of situation. it was an ending he definitely would’ve never written for himself.
im in love with a demon’s simple devotion in svsss the way they stand firmly beside people who have done something kind for them like zhuzi lang’s backwards way of helping shen qingqiu and mobei-jun sending beasts out to protect on missions shang qinghua (despite being the one beating him up lol) after he took care of him while he was wounded it shows how important just the smallest act of kindness could be to someone else
