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[heywriters]

HEY, Romance Writers!

A few followers have asked for tips on writing romance into their stories or as the basis of their stories. Here’s a masterlist of sources (below cut) that may help.

General Romance:

What Defines Romantic Love?

How to Build a Romance Thread in Your Story

How to Plot a Romance Novel

Slowburn Romance

When Friends Fall for Each Other (ask)

Tips for Writing a Character Who Has a Crush

Tips on Writing Unrequited Love 

Writing Healthy Couples in Fiction

An Antidote to “Love at First Sight”

How Attractive Should Your Characters Be?

3 Great Ways to Show That Your Character Is In Love

6 Ways to Get Your Readers Shipping Like Crazy

Six Steps to Stronger Character Arcs in Romances

Seven Great Sources of Conflict for Romances

9 Romance Writing Mistakes to Avoid

20 Tips for Writing Lovable Romance Novel Heroes 

How to Write a Kissing Scene in a Romance Novel

Types of Kisses and Kissing + This Post Is All About Kisses

List of Ideas to Keep Romantic Tension High

100 Questions for Character Couples

How Do I Make the Relationship Development Realistic?

How Do I Know If Two People Are Compatible?

Healthy Relationships Can Include Teasing

How to Write a YA Romance Without Cliché   

Intercultural Romance:

How do I write an interracial couple accurately? (ask)

15 Common Stereotypes About Intercultural Relationships

Cross Cultural Relationships

[Ideas for] Your [Fictional] Cross-Cultural Relationship

Things to Avoid When Writing Interracial Romance

writingwithcolor: Interracial Relationships (w/ links)

Bad Romance:

Removing the Creeps From Romance

Why The Surprise Kiss Must Go

Possessiveness 101

10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Edward & Bella Are In An Abusive Relationship

Red Flags, Verbal Abuse, Stalking… | Script Shrink

5 Huge Mistakes Ruining the Romantic Relationships in Your Book

How do you write a [bad] relationship without romanticising it? (ask)

General Tips for Writing Characters Love Interests:

How to Write from a Guy’s POV

Writing Awesome Male Characters: What You’re Doing Wrong

7 Point-of-View Basics Every Writer Should Know

How Do You Describe a Character?

4 Ways to Make Readers Instantly Loathe Your Character Descriptions

3 Signs Your Story’s Characters Are Too Perfect

Is a Quirk Just What Your Character Needs?

Six Types of Character Flaws

Is Your Character Optimistic Or Pessimistic?

5 Ways to Keep Characters Consistent

9 Simple and Powerful Ways to Write Body Language

10 Body Language Tricks for Deeper Characterization

Describing People Part Three: Gestures, Expressions, and Mannerisms

33 Ways To Write Stronger Characters

Conveying Character Emotion

Distinguishing Characters in Dialogue

How to Make Readers Love an Unlikable Character…  

Characters: Likability Is Overrated

Relationships in General:

How to Create Powerful Character Combos

8 Secrets To Writing Strong Character Relationships

Character Relationships: 6 Tips for Crafting Real Connections

Writing Relationships: Hate to Love

Stereotypes, Archetypes, & Tropes:

Five Signs Your Story Is Sexist: Part 1, Part 2

Five Signs Your Story Is Sexist – Against Men

Always Female vs Always Male

Born Sexy Yesterday & Manic Pixie Dream Girl

7 (Overused) Female Love Interests

Other Resource Lists

Resources For Romance Writers

Pinterest Board “Writing: Romance Arcs and Plots”  

thewritershelpers FAQ (romance, kissing, sexuality, etc)

+ Follow HEY, Writers! on Ko-Fi // Wattpad // AO3 // Goodreads // Pinterest

[heywriters]

“HEY, Writers!” Ask Policy

I do not answer research questions. Research is the sole responsibility of each individual author.

What counts as a research question? (borrowed from @justawritingaid​)

Research/Portrayal questions (“How do I write a character who is x?” where “x” is referring to a lifestyle, physical/mental condition, gender, culture, etc.)

Specialist/Non-Writing Encyclopedia questions (“Where should my character break their leg to heal within a few months?”, “What’s the term for a specific medieval headdress?”, “How does child support work?”, etc.)

Whether an idea is offensive/insensitive or not

Any request for “links/resources”

For very simple questions like “how do I…?” please, copy/paste your question into Google first. Do come back to me if you have additional, non-research questions after that, and I will try to help.

Check these blogs for answers to questions about…

ethnicity/race @writingwithcolor

fight scenes/combat @howtofightwrite

medical/injury @scriptmedic

psychology/mental health @scriptshrink

various other research topics—The Script Family

ASKS I PROMPTLY DELETE!

Questions I’ve already answered multiple times. This does include writer’s block and “I’m discouraged and need a pat on the back” type asks. I sympathize, but I can’t hold everyone’s hand.

Non-writing questions, for example marketing advice.

Requests for prompts, ideas, names, or that I generate plot/characters/dialogue/scenes/relationships or other creative aspects for you.

Requests that I read, review, or edit your work (including covers, original drawings, writeblrs, etc.)

Requests for my opinion of your concept.

Multiple questions within one ask (I do prefer separate asks).

Repeated asks (if you think your first ask didn’t go through, tell me so in your second ask, otherwise I may just delete both).

Responses to posts I’ve shared—just reply/reblog if you have an opinion!

Magic / occult / supernatural-related questions (I know nothing).

Questions about sexuality, sex scenes, sexual anatomy, or erotica (*ahem* I know nothing).

“Signal boost” requests for your post, blog, website, book, charity, etc.*

Whiny, argumentative, or discourse-starter statements/questions about something in writing you dislike. If you can’t play nice, leave the community.

If I do respond to an ask that violates these guidelines, it’s a rare circumstance. It doesn’t mean my policy is changing. Do not jump in with more like questions.

If I do not respond to an ask even though it doesn’t violate these guidelines,

Tumblr did not notify me.

It was time sensitive, but I didn’t have time.

You provided too many unnecessary details and confused me.

You didn’t provide necessary details required to answer the question.

You forgot to ask the question entirely (yes, this happens).

I simply didn’t understand it due to typos, faulty English, etc.

Want to see if I’ve already answered or have already shared info relevant to your question?

Go to heywriters.tumblr.com/tagged/answer

Find answers like yours and check to see if I left relevant tags

or

Use the search feature. For desktop users, enter this into URL: heywriters.tumblr.com/search/your-search-keywords

It is best to use only one keyword or very short phrases.

I am in the process of tag wrangling on this blog, but when I started I never intended it to get so big, so…use the search feature for now.

— — — — — —

*If you are an independent writer who posts here on Tumblr and would like a little boost in readership or followship, please tag @hey-writers (note the hyphen!) in your posts. That is where I reblog stories, excerpts, moodboards, original character descriptions, WIP promos, and other stuff to support individual writers here on Tumblr!

[kenmoab]

Day 7:  Breaking the Rules

"I've never thought about that before.", I muttered as a contribution to the conversation.  

"I have — plenty of times.  I don't know how you couldn't have before.  She used to really be something." We passed the photos from a faded hat box filled with letters and pictures between us. The woman featured in them exhibits varying degrees of beauty. "I guess we accepted it before because she is her. Now there is some distance between us. I don't feel like I want to take whatever she feels like dishing."

"Well, actually, we do.  Aunt Jade is here.  She may not be the same person" Amaya gave me a challenging look before handing me a letter from a long-forgotten lover. "Consciously feel the stings, accept your feelings, and push past it.  Like one of these Lolli's that she sucked the life out of before, she left them." I waved the paper in my hand to emphasize my point.  Amaya rolled her eyes and sucked in her lips.  She returned a picture to the box with one hand and picked up a letter with another.

Honestly, I don't remember her being so bad.  I don't remember her being so good either. I was a kid when she lived with our family the first time.  I am younger than Amaya and was less enamored by her.  Aunt Jade had fewer opportunities to disappoint me with her physical distance. That combined with her lack of communication over the years hurt Amaya.  With no wounds to heal, I can accept her more readily.

"Amaya," Aunt Liza called from the other room. Amaya put her finger up to her mouth. Other than her gesture, she did not move.

We could hear someone coming closer to our room. "Zara!" I didn't move. "Girls, we know that you are here. Your Aunt Jade has something to talk to you about."

Amaya responded, "I don't want to talk with her."

Aunt Liza aggressively entered the room. "Good. She wants you to listen.  Just sit down and let her tell you her side of things." Neither of us moved.  Her eyes shifted from both of us twice before she took a gentler stance. "Do it for me."

"She is going to spin whatever happened to make her look like the victim.  My Mom used to say that her sister was always jealous. She couldn't get her life together because she always wanted what Mom had.  What she couldn't obtain, she destroyed.  Mom told me that her sister showed up with one of her stories.  She took her in.  When her sister left so went her relationship with Zara's Father. I know you know she had something to do with the disappearance of my Father, as well." Amaya took a deep breath. "Before this visit, she left along with all the conversations about her.  I want to keep it that way."

"I want to know what she has to say." I stood up and walked towards the door.  I didn't look at my Aunt Liza or my Sister.

Aunt Jade was sitting in my Mother's living room, looking like an alternative universe version of her.  I could tell that she had consumed something that made her relaxed.  Aunt Jade smiled with her lips but not with her eyes.  She craned her neck to see if there were any one behind me.  Aunt Jade didn't get up from my Mother's favorite chair to hug me.  She stayed put and looked disappointed.

"Your sister isn't coming?  I thought Amaya was back there with you."

"She was.  I am here to hear what you have to say."

"No offense.  I don't need to talk to you.  I need to talk to Amaya.  She is the one that is avoiding me."

"None taken.  I can probably relay this to Amaya in a way that she will consider your point of view." Aunt Jade looked like she was trying to dismiss me with her eyes.

"I can go back to the room, and you can leave.  Everything will remain the same. I'm not your favorite niece.  I am trying to help you mend fences."

She sat at the edge of her seat as if she was contemplating bolting.  Or, she could have been nervous. "Well, since you are already offended.  I might as well tell you. You told me that you saw your Mother talking to the neighbor a couple of times." I can feel myself getting warm. I did not know what I thought she would say to me.  Her words were unexpected and offensive.

"What?"

"A couple of times you mentioned in passing that your Mom was talking to your neighbor's husband.  I told your Father that I thought she was spending too much time with the man next door for a woman that is supposed to be committed to him."

"Are you talking about Mr. and Mrs. Sentelle? The couple that still lives next door to this day.  The nice people that looked out for us over the years when you disappeared from our lives. What exactly did I tell you?  How old was I?"

"You saw them talking.  And, I told your Father.  He confronted your Mother.  She called him crazy.  I told him that his daughter wouldn't lie on her Mother.  Next thing I know, they go from arguing with each other to arguing with me.  They blamed their problems on me.  They made me leave without saying "Bye" to Amaya.  I heard that their relationship ended a few months after they turned on me.  I saw your Father after he left.  I reminded him that your Mother didn't know how to be in a relationship.  He said that nothing was going on between your Mother and the neighbor.  He didn't trust her because I was so convincing.  I reminded him that you were a liar.  She was raising you to be deceitful.  I don't know what else she was putting in you girls."

"Why are you here?"

"Your Mother died.  I thought you girls would need someone to lean on."

For the first time in life, I didn't see her beauty.  Before my eyes, she transformed from another version of my Mother to a total stranger. A stranger that I never wanted to see ever again.

I could hear Amaya entering the room.  "Don't worry about us.  We have each other to lean on.  I told her you were a hot mess.”

“I never thought about you in that way until now.”, I said as I felt Amaya’s arms around me for support.

We had officially lost our Mother and her Sister in the same year.

[kenmoab]

Day 6 - Adapting your writing to different mediums

Possible tweets: Remind yourself that this is just one moment in time and it is over.  #PeaceorDistress Remind yourself that you don’t have to take ownership of other people’s behavior.  #PeaceorDistress Remind yourself that you have a choice. You can decide to move forward, leaving that moment in the past.  #PeaceorDistress 3 Ways to claim peace in difficult situation #PeaceorDistress

Short Story: “Lisa, I got to give it to you, if it were me, I would have lost my mind.”

“If I lost it than I’d have to find it again.  By the time that happened, I might not have a job anymore. It wasn’t about me.  She was upset with William.”

“Why didn’t she yell at William?  You didn’t do anything to her.”

“For the same reason, I didn’t lose my mind on her.  He is her boss.  She worked all weekend on that project.  She missed her daughter’s soccer game.  I think her daughter made the game-winning goal.  She is dealing with things that have nothing to do with me.”

“You are a saint.”

“No, I’m not.  In the moment, my feelings were hurt.  I wanted to lash back at her but that would have escalated the situation to a much worse place.  If I am thinking about the incident tomorrow, I will have a conversation with her about it from my point of view.  I don’t want her to feel like she can regularly do that to me.”

“Good luck with that.  What if she dismisses your feelings or gets upset with you for bringing it up?”

“First off, I am going in with no expectations for her behavior. I can’t control what she will or will not do.  The conversation is for me to express my feelings.  Since this is a working situation, I would send her an email recapping our conversation to make sure we are on the same page.”

[kenmoab]

Day 5:  Peace or Distress:  Which one are you choosing today?

Rain falls on the just and unjust all the time.  No one escapes a day without some level of a stressor.  It isn’t what happens to you.  It is how you handle what happens to you.  Have you ever had someone cut you off on your way to work?  Instead of leaving that incident in the past, it stayed with you all day.  It colored your entire day in a negative light.  If you don’t drive, maybe someone was rude to you.  If you replayed the incident in your mind throughout the day, you are choosing distress.  Each time you replay, you probably get upset all over again.  If that is your typical reaction to incidents like that here are three tips for choosing peace:

1.     Remind yourself that this is just one moment in time and it is over.   Yes, they were rude to you.  Yes, that person did something that hurt your feelings.  No, they don’t have to occupy space in your head for the rest of the day.  After the incident, they went on with their day, probably not thinking about you or what happened between you.  Give yourself the gift of peace: acknowledge what happened, acknowledge your feelings, and acknowledge that it is a moment that passed never to experience again.

2.    Remind yourself that you don’t have to take ownership of other people’s behavior. When someone is mean or unpleasant, there is a strong possibility that their actions have nothing to do with you.  It is possible that you just happened to be the person that is the recipient of their efforts.  It feels personal, but maybe it isn’t. Perhaps they argued with their significant other and can’t express themselves to that person.  Or, their boss just made significant changes to something that they worked extremely hard on and they are upset.  You are the recipient but not the owner and holder of these emotions and feelings.  You can leave it all with that person.  You can choose peace and not keep it because it doesn’t belong to you.

3.    Remind yourself that you have a choice.  You can decide to move forward, leaving that moment in the past.  You can choose to look for the next moment to be better than the last. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you have a chose. Once something has happened, you can not go back and change it.  It doesn’t matter how many times you replay it in your mind.  Or, how many times you think about how you could have handled an incident differently.  Instead of focusing on something that you can’t ever change, choose to think about preparing for events that haven’t happened yet.  Choose to be proactive about being in situations that you want to experience.  

Distress or peace, which one would you like to choose?

[kenmoab]

Day 4. Choosing your words

I’ve heard that ignorance is bliss.  The longer I live, the less that I find that to be true.  Ignorance doesn’t allow you to plan appropriately for the unknown. Ignorance keeps your mind closed to solutions.  If your mind is closed, regardless of how someone explains an answer, you will not comprehend what they are saying.  You are on a “Reject.  This idea won’t work” default setting.  Do you ever notice that the people that want you to be in ignorance usually want you to be at a disadvantage?  No one leaves out details that will make you see things their way.  Facts are left out, so you aren’t making the best decision for your life.  You are making the best decision for the person that wants you to stay in ignorance. Ignorance also keeps you in a position of reaction and out of proactivity.  I believe in loving your life and self as you are.  I also believe in looking forward to living better days. You can’t look forward when you are stuck in the nightmarish present because you didn’t have enough information to make the best decisions for your life.

[kenmoab]

Developing Characters

Dear Zara, 

I’ve tried to be a responsible sister, mainly because I’m the oldest.  I’ve always tried to be a good example for you.  In this case, I am going to fail you.  My mind won’t let me stop replaying the feeling of being abandoned.  I came home from school and she just wasn’t there.  I can remember running from room to room looking.  There was no note or a personal message left with Mom.  And, no one wanted to talk about it.  Before she left, we were kindred spirits.  We looked alike, spoke alike, I could see myself being like her when I grew up.  Afterward, I didn’t feel so good about myself.  Will I grow up to be the type of person that disappoints children and abandon family?  No.  I don’t want to be that person.  I want to be a loving, caring, accountable and trustworthy person.  Now, that she is back, I don’t want to be that type of person for her.  She used to be so beautiful. Now she is like a faded flower. Her vibrant days are behind her along with my caring for her.  You will have to assist her with what she needs. You will have to be my example, in this case, for me to follow.  

Your loving Sister, Amaya

[kenmoab]

Day 2 – Building Plot Lines of the @semrush

1.  Holding grudges disturbs your peace of mind.  Can you trust your memory to recollect events as they unfolded accurately?  Are you holding onto the details that keep you in a place that supports your grudge removing the possibilities of entertaining forgiveness? 2.  Characters:  Two sisters, Amaya and Zara, have very different recollections of the same period of when their Aunt lived with their family.  One sister feels portrayed by her abrupt departure.  The other sister is indifferent.  The Aunt, Lena, comes into their lives to be supportive. 3.  Tension/culmination:  Amaya is waiting for The Aunt reveals why she suddenly left the family without explanation or further contact.  Her reasons may make the two sisters switch their attitudes towards their Aunt. 4.   The ending:  At a family gathering, Amaya and Zara were pulled aside by Lena.  Lena shares information from her point of view that makes one niece salty towards her and the other sweet.

[kenmoab]

Day 1 of the @semrush

“I’ve never thought about that before.”, I muttered as a contribution to the conversation.  

“I have.  Plenty of times.  I don’t know how you couldn’t have before.  She used to really be something.”  We passed the photos from a faded hat box filled with letters and pictures between us.  The woman featured in them exhibits varying degrees of beauty.  “I guess we accepted it before because she is her.  Now there is some distance between us.  I don’t feel like I want to take whatever she feels like dishing.”

“Well, actually, we do.  Auntie is here.  She may not be the same person” Amaya gave me a challenging look before handing me a letter from a long-forgotten lover.  “Consciously feel the stings, accept your feelings, and push past it.  Like one of these Lolli’s that she sucked the life out of before, she left them.”  I waved the paper in my hand to emphasize my point.  Amaya rolled her eyes and sucked in her lips.  She returned a picture to the box with one hand and picked up a letter with another.

Honestly, I don’t remember her being so bad.  I don’t remember her being so good either.  I was a kid when she lived with our family the first time.  I am younger than Amaya and was less enamored by her. Aunt Lena had fewer opportunities to disappoint me with her physical distance.  That combined with her lack of communication over the years really hurt Amaya. With no wounds to heal, I can accept her more readily.

[kenmoab]

Writing Is the Most Powerful Currency: An Interview With Tracy Oliver - Rookie

The Girls Trip writer on representation in Hollywood, her creative process, and the importance of honing your craft.

The Girls Trip writer on representation in Hollywood, her creative process, and the importance of honing your craft.

[kenmoab]

Whatever takes place, I shall win....I expect God will show us how life turns out best for those who make the best of how life turns out

[kenmoab]

Do you remember those days as a kid when you wanted to embark on a quadruple career path of being a performer, a doctor, a scientist, and a chef? As we grew up, we created more realistic dreams that we should not give up on. The Power of Positive Energy by Tanaaz Chubb offers a little push to help us stay on track of obtaining our dreams.

[kenmoab]

Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.

[kenmoab]

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.

 Lao Tzu

[kenmoab]

The Law of Accumulation by Brian Tracy

Everything great and worthwhile in human life is an accumulation of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of tiny efforts and sacrifices that nobody ever sees or appreciates.

Imagine a snowball that starts very small and grows as it gathers momentum, adding millions and millions of tiny snowflakes. There are 3 areas where the Law of Accumulation helps you:

Area 1: Your Knowledge Any person with a large knowledge base has spent thousands of hours building it one piece at a time. When you accumulate such know-how, you are viewed as an expert in your field - and it’s that high level of knowledge that will make you extremely valuable in the marketplace.

Area 2: Your Experience Successful people in any field are those who have far more experience in that field than the average person.  Whether it’s in business or entrepreneurship, management or parenting, selling or anything else, there is nothing that replaces experience. Nothing. But many people don’t take the necessary risks to move out of their comfort zone and gain that experience because they’re afraid it won’t work out.

Area 3: Your Money Every large fortune is an accumulation of hundreds of thousands of small amounts of money. The best place to start is to take any amount of money that you can right now and begin to save it. When you begin to save money, it sets up a force field of energy and it triggers the Law of Attraction. As a result, you begin to attract even more money. I’ve spoken to many successful people and they’ve all told me the same story - as soon as you start to put savings aside, it starts to attract into your life and work all the money that you need to achieve your goals. Every little thing counts. Use your time well. Until you move out of your comfort zone and accumulate the knowledge and experience you get from trying new things and making mistakes, it’s not possible for you to grow and become capable of accumulating the kind of money that you desire.

Now here’s the key to the Law of Accumulation: everything that you do counts. The biggest mistake that people make is they think that only what they want to count, counts. That when you read a book, listen to an audio program, go to a course, go to bed early, it all counts towards your ledger. However, when you watch TV, waste time, hang out, fool around and so on, all of that counts as well, but negatively.

A person who has a great life is a person who has accumulated far more credits than debits.  If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it’s moving you away from your goals. In life, you’re either moving forward or you’re moving backward. Nothing is neutral. Everything counts.

Get started today.

Make a commitment today to build your knowledge base in the subject that can be most helpful to you in achieving financial independence, no matter if it takes a week, a month, or a year.

Get as much experience as you can in your chosen field. Start a little earlier, work a little harder, and stay a little later.

Take risks and try every different way you can think of to achieve your goal. This experience is invaluable and it will accumulate over time.

What knowledge do you want to accumulate?

[kenmoab]

"You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices." ~Deepak Chopra

[kenmoab]

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.

George Bernard Shaw