[pancakeke]

bath tubs that can’t submerge an entire adult body should be illegal

[foreshvdowing]

Okay I know what you meant but you sound like a murderer

[odin-n-out]

Life hack: date a guy who’s tall enough to always be looking at you from the same angle you take selfies from

[kaleighfratkins]

callout post

my gastrointestinal system:

doesn’t fucking work

[santas-clauze]

[santas-clauze]

[instagranclpa]

[drive-ride-drive-blog]

I was in a hospital today and I saw this cute guy with a cast on his leg and my first thought was

hey this one can’t run away

[thursday]

posting selfies on tumblr like

[sophaea]

[sassafrasjungle]

#the poison#the poison for kuzco#the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco#kuzco’s poison#that poison

[boyx-deactivated20190424]

when someone says “shut up you love me”

[brainstatic]

Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some gender conformity right onto her unclosed fontanelle! Say goodbye to awkwardly explaining that no, despite her bald head, your androgynous poop machine is actually a demure coquette! Glue your fucking baby today!

[caden]

@staff

[hotvampireadjacent]

@staff

[elonmuskisabitch]

@staff

[smoke-and-aurora]

@staff

[babylizard-blog]

no homo. we’re fresh out. we should get a new shipment in on monday

[knightzoned]

can you check in the back

[sickfake]

yeah i’m beautiful but where is my mental stability???

[kennilworthywhisper]

me: are there any spirits here?

ouija spells out: a-y-y-l-m-a-o

[voidbat]

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [removes blanket]

body: never have you been So Frozen

[ladyjolder]

me: [sticks one leg out]

body: perfect

[bongboops]

Demon to my now exposed leg:

[stickynutjuice]

any post more than 4 sentences straight up getting blocked i aint tryna read shit

[pianister-deactivated20131210]

ppl ur age that look way hotter than u