KentGrams, Live from Syracuse

Our new Chancellor writes us emails. We decided to start writing back. Because Kent is the New Orange.

[kentgrams]

A Great Learning Opportunity

https://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/learning_opportunity.html

Dear Chancellor Kent,

I see you’re back to spamming us on a weekly basis now, huh? Well, thanks for the info on this conference. Seeing as my credit card is maxed out from the lack of payment for my TA-ship in early August when I still had to pay rent, and you know, eat, I appreciate the tip. I spent the weekend pretending to care about old white dude philosophy while enjoying the free food. And thankfully, not all of it was catered by SU! Can we have more of these conferences? For starters, the new travel rules means I have even less money to spend on conferences. And then, they come in handy when you are hungry. I tell my seven year old that we’re going for a fancy meal on the new Chancellor. She wonders why you can’t pay me more so that I can buy us the food we like, but I tell her, “honey, Kent knows Mommy doesn’t have time to shop with all the teaching she’s doing! Plus, Kent knows that gluten-free is just a fad, you don’t actually have Celiac disease, now eat those free cookies. Vegetables are just for administrators, not us lowly plebs.”

Keep the free food emails coming, Kent! (But unsubscribe me from the rest of your BS.)

Jan T., WGS TA

[kentgrams]

Classroom Visits

https://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/classroom_visits.html

Yo, #BroKent!

Where you been, man?! It’s been forever since you wrote me! I mean, your Snapchat game is fierce, but our private emails is where it’s at, amirite?!! Anyways, so dope you gonna be visitin my classes, bro! It’s gonna be so fleek! I signed up for all the classes you suggested, that way our schedules will match! Now we can pre-game and post-game together ALL THE TIME!  And bro, we will be the envied bromance of all the campus! Sitting in the back, our orange gear on point, making fun of the profs who think we’ll do homework on weekends! Plus, all the honeys will be flocking to our desks to get the party scoop! This semester is gonna be AWESOME! See you tomorrow in Accounting class! Yo, Bro, don’t lemme forget, maybe we can do my beer app for accounting class. Like beer counting and shit. Yah!

Tank

[kentgrams]

Kent and #DATmovementSU

Now our loyal readers will remember #DATmovementSU. It started with a rally, then a sit-in, an occupation. Then it became a movement. Check out our twitter timeline for a live unfolding of the events, the hashtags, and @Thegeneralbody. Do you remember the beginning? When Kent thought that he could keep sending us his blog posts without mentioning #DATmovementSU?!

  Here's a little reminder that Kent is still trying to control the narrative. On his "Orange Bleeders" blog, <image> where every single email he has sent out to the community – including the one about the deer or bear poll – is there. Something is missing. None of the emails that he sent out about #DATmovementSU are there. <image> (Don't worry, we've kept an archive. And our loyal writers have been responding to him all along.)

  But first, here's a little timeline, a reminder of the "important" things that Kent emailed us about during #DATMovementSU

  Nov 3rd:

  Rally and Occupation of Crouse Hinds begins!

  Meanwhile, in Kentland (http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/family-weekend.html)......

    La La La... I can't hear anything!! I don't see any protest!! Wasn't that Family weekend fun, kids?! Go Orange! (Just don't go to Crouse-Hinds, mmkay?) Maybe if I just re-play this song over and over again, this will stop. http://youtu.be/c6bEic1Jrok 

       November 11th,

  Students' rights restricted, policed and surveilled by DPS, locked in on weekends, fenced in. Multiple departments have signed letters of support. Faculty have been doing teach-ins since Day 1.

  Meanwhile, in Kentland (http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/november-11.html).....

    LA LA LA. I STILL can't hear anything! Maybe if I put up an opaque fence to keep the public support from them, they'll see how transparent I am! (Transparently anti-student activism or involvement). By the way, did you guys know it's Veteran's Day?! Just a reminder you may want to leave C-H to celebrate, don't want to miss all those sales honoring all those vets at Destiny USA!!! No, you'll totally be allowed back in, feel free to go to the mall, seriously. I hear Penny's is having a sale!

       November 17th

  Day 14 of the Sit-in. Students keep getting national press, working hard for concrete changes, Kent keeps ignoring them, students protest IN FRONT OF KENT"S HOUSE.

  Meanwhile, in Kentland (http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/many-dimensions.html).....

    LA LA LA LA LA. "RUTH WILL YOU TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC UP!?! Guests will be hear any minute for the party and I don't want them seeing those unwashed, protesting riff-raff. Have Jeeves bring everyone in the back entrance." LA LA LA LA...no no, rich donor who only gives to the football program, those aren't protesting students out my window, they are snowmen! The kids here love having a jolly good time. Have I showed you the lovely Fall Wreath Ruth ordered from Williams Sonoma? It's artisanal! [RUTH, HAVE THE MAID SHUT THE DAMN DRAPES, WOMAN! I'M TRYING TO RAISE MONEY HERE!] "Here Ruth, show Chad your wreath!" Kent dashes to the phone: "Operator, get me the legal department, pronto!... I don't care who you have to call up to drive in the snow in for, go give those students some legal intimidation, damnit! Fuck them and their demands! We don't want our Thanksgiving ruined, see! Betty and Don Draper are coming over and we need to impress!"

          November 24th,

  Students have been denied legal representation, have been intimidated by college counsel, DPS, and everyone else. They decide to end this portion of their protest and begin the next phase in the Spring! Final rally in front of Hendricks Chapel.

  Meanwhile, in Kentland (http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/orange-teamwork.html)..............

    LA La La.... see, I knew it. Those pesky kids would cave sooner or later. Now let's just pretend this never happened, shall we? Back to our regularly scheduled programming, SPORTS!! Go teams! Do those things with the balls! And nets! And pucks! or whatever..... just do good so I can keep getting more donor money mmkay? And keep the community's focus where it belongs, on ME. and MONEY. and SPORTS!

[kentgrams]

Memory Work

Kent, 

  You say you care about memory, but everything you've done since you've arrived at Syracuse has ignored the memory of our students. Funny how lawyers have a way of forgetting history. Kent, I'm a Remembrance Scholar. And I learned a lot about my student and the time period in which they attended SU. I'd like to think that living in that time, they cared about pressing social issues, like AIDS and the war on poverty. I don't think they would want their deaths used to obscure the social problems facing us today.

  There ARE urgent challenges that require our attention: well-documented micro-aggressions that occur in class and on campus; endemic racism, classism, ableism, hetero-patriarchy; vicious sexual assaults and no resources afforded to survivors, just a bro-tastic campus that breeds rape culture, struggles for diversity that are about numbers but so much more;

  Kent, we want to assure that your memory of our students is long--of their accomplishments long before you arrived, of the accumulated education debt anchored in legacies of chattel slavery, share cropping, and Jim Crow laws, of the gender disparities and violences women, queer students, and trans* students face on campus. If we are to memorialize the loss of those killed on Pan Am Flight 103, we must also face Syracuse's deeper, albeit tarnished, history. Cutting programs like POSSE or The Advocacy Center merely push these histories, and their memories, under the rug; it is a shameful history Syracuse chooses to ignore or, more accurately, erase. We refuse this erasure. Memory-work, after all, compels us to face all histories, not through the perspectives of those in power. 

  We ask you, Kent, to "Act Forward," maybe taking a cue from #DATmovementSU??

  Taylor, Class of 2015, Remembrance Scholar

[kentgrams]

Remaking Orange Central

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/orange-central.html 

    Dear Orange Friends (seriously, we're still using this line? I guess it's better than that colonial "Orange Bleeders" line he had goin'),

  I'm sure Trustee Laurie Taishoff is a great person, but I'm fairly certain that the Alumni Association Board is filled with white, rich alumni who are also sports fanatics. How about an Alumni Board that represents our ACTUAL alumni? We know that Kent is working hard to reduce the number of students of color and students who qualify for Pell Grants, but we are here, and we are graduating even as you cut POSSE programs. We are Syracuse Alums. 

  How about that student who works long hours at Graham Dining Hall to make ends meet while paying Syracuse's exorbitant tuition? She surely receives those letters, phone calls, and emails requesting she "give back" to her University by giving a monetary donation. While Kent celebrates the lush donations of rich alumni, I'm infuriated by the demand to "give back." And what about the University's responsibilities to its students? To fleece students of their tuition dollars and then to demand they donate more? What about an alumni association made up of those who cannot, or do not, donate financial means to the University? 

  I noticed that no Arents Awards went to School of Education alums. Is that because their wallets are too thin? Their commitments to social justice too thick?

  While I'm here, can we also talk about that whole Homecoming Court thing? I mean, we're still doing that? Can you say hetero-patriarchy anyone? I haven't seen such a heteronormative performance since my small-town, small-time prom. And you actually gave crowns?

  "Tradition" isn't always worth holding onto. Sometimes "traditions" need to be remade. 

  Becca

Education,Class of 2013

[kentgrams]

Complete Merit

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/complete-merit.html

    Yo Bro Kent, 

Thanks for explaining why all these old dudes are still roaming around campus, yo! Dude, I just thought that once profs retired they just went to like live in Florida or pretend to teach courses at SU in LA. Like srsly bro, why would they want to hang around this place forevaaaaa? Are you brainwashing them? Like, are they like Stepford wives where they've drunk the Orange Kool-Aid? Or nah, I bet they're like sleeper cell agents, sleeper cell profs man that would make a killer movie! It'd be like Snowpiercer where instead of eating those purple bug Jell-O's, your're feeding them Orange Jell-O with like hidden Yager to make them want to stay. Speaking of which, I think I will start to Kickstarter campaign for this movie idea! Do you want to be my first backer, bro?! I'll give you executive producer rights, yo! All I know is that when I'm a crusty old dude like Marvin, I will NOT be hanging around Syracuse, I'll be getting down by the pool with senior ladies in Key West Florida! I'll save my money for buying the ladies some liquor – don't nobody want no astronomy labs here anyways. After I endow a beer keg at Sig Ep when I graduate, I'm out bro!

Tank

[kentgrams]

As a graduate student with a disability, I am offended that the GSO says the following in their response to THEGeneralBody: " It is important the university remain a leader in ADA compliance". Did they bother to ask any grads with disabilities??? In my time here, I have NOT experienced SU as a leader. I have experienced lies, obstacles, obfuscation, and being forced to arrange my own accommodations. The GSO does not speak for me.

[kentgrams]

KentGrams petition in solidarity with THE General Body

As Syracuse University graduate students who play a fundamental role in delivering a quality and critical education to undergraduate students across SU, and who occupy precarious positions as contingent faculty, we support of THE General Body. We share students' concerns about the recent decisions, changes, and vision articulated by the Syverud administration. We demand more transparency and a re-commitment to shared governance. Shared governance requires both appropriate consultation before important decisions are made and informative communication regarding those decisions. The demands issued by THE General Body require not only serious attention, but a prompt, cohesive, and comprehensive plan of action. That is, it is not enough for the Syverud administration to "listen" to the demands. It must take action to redress the violence and structural oppression enabled and perpetuated by recent policy changes, attitudes, and commitments launched by the administration. As we interpret them, the demands of THE General Body seek a more just, less violent and less inequitable institution that works in the best interest of ALL students, regardless of race, class, gender, dis/ability, or national origin. The demands, thus, seek to affirm the need for and responsibility to cultivate a diverse and inclusive student body and campus culture that cares for and supports all students, faculty, and staff. We urge the graduate student community to support THE General Body, its demands, and the core values that undergird these demands.

Please email us to sign ([email protected]) or to send us feedback on the language we've used. (we'll only post names once we've received a critical mass)

[kentgrams]

Always working

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/working.html

Dear Kent,

  Just a note from one of those 9000 students who work part-time (if part-time means, you know, 30 hours working at Graham Dining Hall during the day, catching a few hours as the security check-in at Flint Hall at night, and going to those classes that amount to some $51k a year. I'm glad you recognize that this is "not easy." But did you consider YOUR responsibility to make it LESS HARD on students who don't come from middle or upper middle class families? Your letter is nice; it recognizes our labor. But it fails to acknowledge that Syracuse is STRUCTURALLY setup to MAKE IT HARD for those of us with fewer resources than our classmates. You cut Posse funding. This not only provided financial resources to students historically pushed out of or denied access to higher education; Posse SUPPORTED students in DOING school: mentors, activities, collective spaces. Posse fostered a culture that enabled students not only to attend Syracuse but to thrive here - thrive even as students face unrelenting racism, lack of financial and social resources, and lipservice from the administration. It is NO WONDER so many students of color and poor and working class students do not graduate. This can't be fixed by an email written by your secretary in twenty minutes. It can't be done by your "touring" some dorms, some people's worksites, some handshakes and pats on the back. It actually requires REMAKING the institution in drastically new ways. 

  But here's what you underestimated: We will not go gently into that good night. As you work from the comfort of your plush Chancellor's residence, we are organizing - in our apartments, at work, in our classrooms, with our professors, with each other. Because #ITooAmSU. From the Advocacy Center, to Posse, to your passe response to Hannah Strong, to continued microaggressions that go unaddressed, to the structural inequalities and lack of support for students who don't look or sound like you - we have heard you loud and clear: You do not want us. But we are here. And we're not going anywhere.

  Sincerely,

Not your friend, 

The guy who serves your coffee at Eggers Cafe,

(I'm also The guy who makes you walk on the other side of the street at night)

[kentgrams]

Apologies and much love to you all

To the KentGrams community, 

We have been delayed with posting some of the responses to Kent's never-ending barrage of emails. While we feel that Kent may have amped up his email game by getting more people involved to send even MORE pointless emails. He thinks that will stop us?!? Well, no. I mean it *will* slow us down. We have proposals to write, job apps to write, classes to teach, classes to TA, transcripts to transcribe, problem sets to solve, problem sets to grade. and that NSF deadline is right around the corner. Don't get us started on IRB  or midterm grades or finding childcare. Anyway, be consoled, we are here and we're not going anywhere. #KentGramsTooIsSU. So be patient, and you will be rewarded with more KentGrams.

Love,

The KentGrams editors

P.S. In the meantime, any other totally not overworked SU members, your contributions and posts are always welcome! And not just because it would give us a break to hug our families.

[kentgrams]

Dear Big K. Been meaning to write. So the Advocacy Center... I'm one of those rape survivors you've been busy 'protecting'. Thx. For acting in my best interest, and for your astute assessment of my needs. Here's the thing Kent... I don't need treatment. I'm not broken. I need guys to stop being so rapey. Sounds creepily like advocacy right? If only rape weren't so tragic & unavoidable & def not about dudes. So your new 'centralized services'? BRB... busy parking ambulance at bottom of cliff. X

[kentgrams]

Dear O-Kent. I don't bleed orange, and to be more precise, most of us women bleed red (though that's kind of a secret-shhhh). Frankly I don´t care if Syracuse is pronounced like "bear" or "deer", though you may wanna check with the international students and pick from a myriad of pronunciations! What I do care about is the real victims of sexual assault who need the Advocacy Center. How about instead of WASTING time and resources on stupid contests you consult us on REAL ISSUES? CONSULT KENT!

[kentgrams]

OneUniversity??

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/academic-convocation.html

Kent,

  OneUniversity??? Come on now. Were we one when you closed the Advocacy Center? Now supposedly we are one university, and you're gonna listen to us?? Sounds like you're trying the whole, "why talk about race, we're all humans" trick. And guess what, your "color-blind" genderedviolence-ignorant bullshit is not gonna work here. Don't think you can pull that Bain report, hiring more admins, while shutting down a vital student service over the summer on us, and get away with it. We see you Kent, and your fake "OneUniversity" plan for what it is: Pandering Bullshit.(c) Kent

  Tanya F.

[kentgrams]

Convocation SNUB

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/academic-convocation.html

Yo, Bro Kent,

  How come you didn't ask *me* to speak at Convocation?! I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda hurt bro. I mean that other dude that talked, how many kinds of scholar can you be, shoot! Is it because I'm not an alumni?!? Well that's no problem, dude, line me up NOW for the one right after my graduation bro. You know mine will be MUCH better, I got hella stories to tell about my time in Syracuse plus that shit ton of entre-bro-neuring you and I had goin' on. None of this depressing shooting shit. Man, maybe he shoulda had a gun with him, right, right?? #GUNSGUNSGUNS 

  Tank

[kentgrams]

Fine Books? Fine BEER BEER BEER

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/fine-books.html

Dear Bro Kent,

  Dude, I had to delete your last email about books, yo. Didn't you hear, we are the number one party school!!! Fuck the books! The only fine book is the one we use here at Alpha Chi to even out our pong table's loose leg. Amirite, bro?! You know it!

  Lates,

G-Dawg

[kentgrams]

What Welcome? Bring Back the AC!

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/welcoming.html

Dear Kent,

  What about bringing back the Advocacy Center? How about actually addressing that in one of your emails?

  Sincerely,

Regina

[kentgrams]

WHATSUP?!?! WELCOME BACK BRO

http://chancellor.syr.edu/messages/m/welcoming.html

Welcome back,Bro Kent!

  And welcome back to your bros and lady bros in the booths! Man, those people rock! Except when they won't let me drive to class b/c I don't have a pass or whatever. Don't they know I was up late getting my drink on at the Juice Jam?!? I was so hungover, if I *didn't* drive to class, ain't no way I was gonna make it there, you feel me bro? So man, yah, can you hook a brotha up? Set me up with Ed or Diana or any of those peeps? Cuz I am tired of walking to class! Tell them I'll bring them a Jager every time I roll past if they let me through.

  See you at the next Sig Ep Rager, bruh!

Tank