“Do you take pride in your hurt? Does it make you seem large and tragic? …Well, think about it. Maybe you’re playing a part on a great stage with only yourself as audience.”
— John Steinbeck, East of Eden (via theunquotables)
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Today's Document

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@kenz-eaye
“Do you take pride in your hurt? Does it make you seem large and tragic? …Well, think about it. Maybe you’re playing a part on a great stage with only yourself as audience.”
— John Steinbeck, East of Eden (via theunquotables)
“Decentering your mother is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and even for her if you have an unconventional or painful relationship.
Mothers aren't inherently good.
The narrative around a mother's love has always been heavily played up, and that's because we live in a society that benefits from women's unpaid labour and suffering, so of course, the PR around motherhood has always been airtight. There is no mothering bone; there is no single gene that makes all women extra nurturing, safe, or capable of the love a child needs. There is socialisation, and a person, and that person has her own internal weather, her own wounds, her own limitations, her own unmet needs, and sometimes that person cannot rise to what is expected or required of her. And if you have a mother like that, you have probably spent your whole life building your identity off her limitations.
As a child, your parents are giants. Even when they are terrible, they are giants. Your entire nervous system and your entire way of seeing the world was filtered through them. And the residue of that experience is that most of us grow up in age but not in our psyche. We are still children standing in front of giants, asking them to finally see us, begging them to heal us.
Listen - going back to the source of the wound to fix the wound will keep you stuck forever.
Decentering your mother does not mean you hate her. It does not mean you cut her off, okay? It means you deplatform her, you remove her from the platform that society placed her on and that your child self needed her on. You look at her as a person, relieve her of the supposed tos, and you place yourself at the centre of your own life instead. You platform your authority, your ability to go out into the big real world and build your own view of life, to build a view of yourself.
I decentered my mother years ago. I have a relationship with her that works for me. She is just another human being I am in relationship with; she's not a giant, and she's not a source I keep returning to, looking for something she was never able to give.”
— Pearlieee
“The search for respite can become a primary adult pursuit. Some seek it through relationships that seem to promise unconditional acceptance, whereas for others it is spiritual practices, aesthetic experiences, career success or forms of self-development. But beneath the surface often lies the same hope: to be big without being domineering, to be small without feeling ashamed, to belong without surrendering oneself.
What we call 'personality' is, in many ways, the residue of a child's best efforts to manage the impact of another's mind. The adult is followed by both sides of this asymmetry and spends the rest of their life trying to work them through without re-experiencing the old injuries.”
- Being Small by Tom Wooldridge
I love this!
Damn, just the author’s note made me cry
fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard fuck you ben gibbard
“All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. After a while you just try and get a tourniquet on it.”
- No Country for Old Men
“Wanting to be loved by someone who's already done their own work—who isn't using you as the crowbar to pry themselves open or as their safe place to hide—that's not too much to ask.”
why not have the reader re-read a sentence now and then? it won't hurt him....
“Codependent relationships work so long as you are okay with enabling, rescuing, and helping your partner and not needing any reciprocation.”