With All My Heart
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: You never thought Bucky was the sentimental type, until you found something hidden under his bed.
WC: 3.3k
Tags/Warnings: super fluffy, established relationship, Post Thunderbolts*,Not Beta Read
A/N: I’ve had this idea for weeks and finally did it. Fun fact, the Polaroids may or may not be inspired by real pictures I took of my best friend and her boyf. Also, yes I have been to the rest stop I mentioned. Sadly I live far away from them and I NEED to go back!
You felt like an idiot looking at your wrist and realizing your watch wasn’t there.
“Shit,” you mumbled.
“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked you with concern.
You shook your head, “It’s nothing, I forgot my watch.”
He paused, pondering while he put on his leather jacket. “I think you left it on my nightstand when you took it off last night,” he answered, pointing down the hall. “Do you want to go get it before we leave?”
You hesitated, “You sure you don’t mind waiting?”
Bucky shook his head and held out his hand to hold your jacket and purse for you. “Not at all.”
You smiled, handed him your things, and left a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, be right back.”
As you walked away the corners of his lips turned up into a soft smile.
You hurried to Bucky’s room and upon entering a frustrated groan left you. There the nightstand was, with no watch. You searched the drawers in the nightstand and the top of his dresser, still no luck.
After staring at the nightstand, you wondered if you really did leave it there but maybe it fell. You kneeled down next to the bed and turned on your phone flashlight. A quick scan finally revealed the missing watch. With a relieved sigh you reached for it, when something caught your eye.
A box.
A box with your name written on the side of it.
Your own name was staring back at you as you grabbed the watch. With a careful hand you reached for the box and dragged it out from the bed.
The box sat in your lap, unopened, unbothered. It was a dark brown cardboard shoe box from one of his pairs of boots. Your name was written in black marker on the side and next to it a tiny messy heart.
Your gut is telling you not to open it. It might have been hidden for a reason. You have no right to be digging and snooping around Bucky’s things. Finding something he didn’t want found.
But another part of you was desperate to know what was inside. That small but loud part of your brain that was screaming at you to open it. The voice kept echoing in your ears. Reminding you that your name was on it.
Why did he have a box with your name on it?
Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be hidden. You kept things under your bed not because you wanted to hide them, but because of storage and safekeeping. Maybe this was like that.
Maybe.
God the anticipation was going to kill you.
Maybe it was a present he put in there for your next anniversary, birthday, or some other reason.
Well then you should really not open it. Don’t want to ruin any possible surprise he has for you.
You really shouldn’t open it. You shouldn’t open it. Don’t open it. Don’t open it. Don’t open it. Don’t open it. Open it. Open it. Open it…
Your hands moved on their own. Your fingers peeled back the lid of the box and set it down on the floor next to you.
You peered inside at the contents of the box with confused curiosity. At first glance it didn’t look like much. It definitely wasn’t a present. There were a bunch of random items, mostly paper ones.
The first thing that caught your attention was the small plastic wristband. It was at the top of the pile. You picked it up and read the words on the side “Luna Park: Coney Island.” Realization dawned on you that it was Bucky’s wristband from your first date. When he asked you out, there was no specific place in mind yet. But when he told you an old story about him and Steve at Coney Island and you said you had never been there before, he knew where he wanted to take you.
It was a perfect first date. The weather was clear and warm but not too hot to be uncomfortable, no doubt because of the cool ocean breeze. You went on rides, you played games. And of course Bucky spent 40 bucks to win you a blue stuffed penguin you fawned over and called cute. He was a man on a mission. And now that penguin sat on a chair in your bedroom.
With a smile you placed the wristband back in the box and picked at the other things inside.
Your heart swelled at the realization that most of the items were from your old dates with Bucky. There were tickets from your trips to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Museum of Natural History and one from The New York Aquarium. There had to be at least 5 movie stubs and 3 dinner receipts from dates you went on with him. There was the playbill from the broadway show he took you to for your birthday a few months ago. He surprised you with orchestra seats.
You dug around more and found a strip of photos from a photo booth you took with Bucky. His eyes shined as he told you about how common they were back in the 30s and how he used to always stop at them with his friends. When you both sat down he stared with wide eyes at the inflated price.
“Ten dollars? This used to cost a quarter!”
You giggled at his complaint, “You sound so old when you say stuff like that.” You reached for your purse to grab a ten when he stopped you with a hand on your arm and pulled out his wallet from his pocket.
“I’m still not going to let you pay for it,” he returned with a sly grin.
You smiled looking down at the strip of pictures in your hand. The top photo was simple, both you and Bucky smiling at the camera with his arm around you. It was sweet, peaceful. In the second photo you placed a hand under his chin and kissed his cheek. His eyes were closed with wrinkles around them from his smile. His cheeks were more rosy than in the last photo. In the third photo Bucky now had his hand on your neck as he kissed you. The fourth and final photo was of you looking at the camera, mid laugh, while Bucky had a hand on your face and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
The machine gave you two copies of the pictures. Yours was pinned to a cork board in your room next to other photos.
You moved on from the photo strip and continued digging through the memory box, throwing caution to the wind.
As you flipped through the other items a shell fell from behind something, landing in the corner of the box. It was the seashell from when you walked and talked on the beach for what felt like hours because you were so engrossed in conversation with him. The water carried a small shell onto the shore. You picked it out from the water and stared at it in awe. You had asked Bucky to hold onto it because your clutch was full and your outfit didn’t have any pockets. Later that night you forgot about it.
In fact, you forgot about it until now, weeks later. Your jaw dropped as you ran your fingertips over the ridges of the shell's surface, reminiscing your walk on the beach. His hand in yours and the
The next thing you found were the birthday cards you gave Bucky from his last two birthdays. One card was from a birthday before you started dating, and the other one was after.
The two year old card was more basic, like you got it from the generic section of the birthday card aisle (because you did). You opened up the old card and read your own handwriting.
Happy Birthday Bucky
I know you don’t like making a big deal out of your birthday but you still deserve a card :)
You’re so important to this team and your effort doesn’t go unnoticed. We’re lucky to have you around. I hope you have a great day and that 109 treats you well. (Even though you’re technically not 109 haha)
You closed it and set it back down in the box before grabbing the one you gave him on his most recent birthday. This one was less generic. You picked out one that had more design and personality.
Happy Birthday my Love
I am so grateful to have you by my side. You’re one of the best things to have ever happened to me. I hope you know you are so important and appreciated. I can’t imagine my life or this team without you.
Happy 110th you old man ;)
I love you with all my heart
Hidden behind the birthday cards was a stack of post-it notes all stuck together. Some of them were old with barely any stickiness left and crinkled edges. Some were new and almost in pristine condition. But all of them were notes from you. You flipped through the stack of sticky notes and saw more of your own handwriting.
Good morning <3
You make me smile :)
Meet me in the lounge later I have a surprise!
I know you stole my last Pepsi >:( prepare for war
I’m so proud of you
Have a great day!
And at least 7 more that just say I love you
Bucky must have saved every single note you left for him.
Your heart almost gave out but thankfully it lasted to see the last few items in the box.
There were more photos. Two to be exact. Two Polaroids taken from Yelena's camera.
One of the Polaroids was taken a few months ago. You knew it was taken because you posed for it. It was on your birthday. The team celebrated at the tower with you after the show Bucky surprised you with. You wanted to keep out of the public eye for the rest of your birthday. Spend the night with just friends. And your boyfriend of course.
Yelena was a few drinks in, wasting her camera film throughout the night. She had a pile of photos on the coffee table that was getting thicker as time went on. Most of them included you.
This one was of you and Bucky. Everyone was sitting on the couches playing a drinking game. You and Bob returned from the bar with new drinks. A Long Island iced tea for you and a regular iced tea for him. You plopped back down on the couch next to your boyfriend, giggling at whatever outlandish thing Alexei said. After you placed your drink down Bucky wrapped an arm around you and placed a gentle kiss to your cheek.
“Awe! Wait, that was adorable, do that again!” Yelena exclaimed as she grabbed her camera.
You rolled your eyes, with no real malice of course. “Yelena,” you laughed.
“Come on, it’s sweet!” She turned the camera on and looked through the viewfinder.
“Kiss!” Alexei shouted.
“Pucker up Barnes!” Ava yelled from the other couch.
The corners of Bucky’s lips turned up into a grin as he shook his head. A gasp left you as Bucky grabbed your hips and pulled you into his lap. He tightened his arm around you and placed a kiss on your cheek. Your face turned bright red as an airy giggle left your lungs.
Yelena snapped the image in front of her. Forever frozen in time.
The memory of that night now sat in your hands as you stared down at it. There was a phantom feeling of his lips on your skin as you set the Polaroid back down in the box.
You picked the other photo up, immediately recognizing when it was taken. Except, you don’t remember it being taken.
This picture was taken a few short weeks before Bucky asked you out. You knew that because your hair was slightly shorter. It was more grown out now.
The photo was of you and Bucky on the couch, taken from behind. Your back was to the camera, resting against the couch. Bucky was sitting next to you. Your attention was pulled away somewhere off camera. But Bucky, he looked right at you.
The thing that really stuck with you was his eyes. His eyes were soft. The kind of soft that people didn't see often from him. His eyes are normally like stone. His stare, usually hard, like rock. It pierces into you. But this look on him was different. He looked at you like you were a work of art. Like he was trying to take in all of you with just his eyes.
You've seen that look before many times. But didn’t notice it before you started dating. You didn’t realize just how head over heels he was in the weeks leading up to your first date.
You cautiously placed the pictures back in the box, like they were delicate and fragile.
Something else you didn’t remember was a napkin with little doodles on it. You recognized it as a napkin from a bar the team occasionally visited. But you can’t remember when you drew flowers and vines on this napkin.
Bucky seemed to remember it. He kept it and cherished it in his memory box like it was a masterpiece you created and not some drunk sketch.
Your heart rate slowly grew in speed as your eyes moved to a keychain at the bottom of the box. It was a small, yellow, metal keychain in the shape of Texas with a cartoon beaver on it.
It was in the middle of the night after a short mission in Texas. You and Ava stopped at the largest rest stop you’d ever seen in your life. The rest stop had a beaver for its mascot and aisles of merch. But what made you buy the keychain for him was the name of the rest stop. Buc-ee’s.
You almost didn’t buy it for him. This was long before you started dating and you weren’t sure how he would appreciate a random gag gift.
“I found something for you in Texas.”
He turned to you and hummed with curiosity. You dug the keychain from your jeans pocket and handed it to him.
“We found this rest stop called Buc-ee’s and they have this little beaver as their mascot,” you explained, fidgeting with the loops in your jeans. “He’s literally your twin, you're both named Bucky,” you ended with a chuckle, trying to make this one sided conversation any less awkward.
He continued to silently examine it, his right, flesh hand running over the painted metal.
“I know it’s stupid, you don’t have to keep it,” you nervously mumbled. You reached forward to grab it back from him,
He pulled his hand back, not willing to give up the present. “No, it’s not stupid. It’s cute,” he reassured.
Your cheeks heated up in real time just like they did when he said that.
He kept it.
He kept the gag gift you got him. This silly little keychain was so important he kept it in a special keepsake box.
You almost couldn’t believe what you found. All the memories, all the stuff you gave him, all the things he cherished because they reminded him of you. It seemed like this box that sat in your lap held his very own heart and all his love for you.
You shuffled the items back to how they were in the box when you found it. You assumed that was all there was to find in there. Until three candy wrappers fell out from between the various papers.
Jolly Ranchers. Your favorite candy.
You always had them on you. Kinda like an old lady that carries around hard candy. John always jokes that you’re an old woman when you grab a jolly rancher from your pocket or purse. He says you and Bucky are perfect for each other because you both have old person tendencies.
Speaking of Bucky, because you often had candy on you, you always offered some to him. He always said yes. Here in his shoe box you saw one cherry and two green apple wrappers.
You froze, staring at the candy wrappers. Even in the silence of his room you couldn’t hear the footsteps approaching. For a moment all you heard was your own heart pounding in your ears.
The door creaked open. “Hey, you’ve been gone for a while. Did you find your watch?” Bucky asked, walking in the room.
He stopped a few feet away from you. Your back was to him, the box hidden in your lap. But he knew you had it because he saw the lid on the floor next to you.
You raised your hand and shook your wrist to show him the watch. “Yeah, I found it,” your voice sounded more hoarse than you expected. You quickly blinked away the tears that collected at your waterline right before he waked in.
Bucky took a few steps closer, and crouched down next to you. He brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. Now that he was close to you, he noticed how glassy your eyes were.
He held your face in his hand, his thumb stroking your cheek. Your eyes fluttered close.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. My watch was under the bed and I found this,” you started rambling. “I saw my name. I know I shouldn’t have opened it-“
“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he soothed in a quiet voice. He turned your face towards his. “I’m not mad.”
You nodded to confirm you understood. You sniffled and glanced between him and the box.
“You kept all this.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
It was a dumb question and you knew it. Yet the word still flew out of your mouth.
He took a pause, breathing in.
“This stuff means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me,” he answered like it was the easiest thing to say in the world.
“After HYDRA, after all the-” he hesitated- “issues with my memory I started keeping stuff like this. To remember.”
With his free hand he grabbed the other side of your face. Bucky leaned closer, his bright blue eyes stared into yours and bore into your soul. You could’ve sworn they looked a little glassy.
“I want to make sure I remember you.”
You lip quivered. Bucky leaned forward and captured your lips in a brief, gentle kiss. He rested his forehead against yours.
“Can I ask about something in the box?”
“Anything.”
“The napkin. I don’t remember it,” you confessed, voice quiet and curious. “Why did you save it?”
“It was the team's first time at that bar. You were drunk and bored because they weren’t playing songs you liked. Someone left a pen on the bar and you sat there drawing on a napkin for twenty minutes.” Bucky paused as his lips curled into a smile. “You were so concentrated. The bar, the team, they were all so loud and distracting. But all your attention was on these little drawings. Like you were painting the Mona Lisa.”
He licked his lips, “that night I realized I have feelings for you.”
A giddy smile snuck its way on your face before you kissed him. Slow and passionate. You poured all your love into that kiss to try and match the amount of devotion and love he had on display for you.
You pulled away, but not too far away. Your lips hovered over his. “I love you with all my heart. You know that right?”
He lightly chuckled, “I know.”
Bucky wiped away a stray tear that you didn’t know escaped and ran down your cheek.
“I love you with all of mine,” he whispered, his voice soft with adoration.
This is so cute and fluffy 😭🩷 my heart feels so full
