i got bit by a bug i think

very old probably ancient

[keroseney]

y’all someone ik found kittens and i took them in, i have no experience with babies of any kind. this one someone got literal Poop on my wifi router. HOW

[n1t6g251436]

[decatris]

[ether--net]

[paintingnotpainting]

[keroseney]

Just remembered I have this account. Is anyone still here and alive?

[terefah]

talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver

[monelyslave-noscopekween600thou]

I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

[thetictacslayer]

[cowboydeanwinchester]

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

[willow]

my new year’s resolution is to stop

[thebootydiaries]

hell,, hell fire

[sylferino]

[thebootydiaries]

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

[li4r]

[albertserra]

Yes

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

jamie lee threw the first activia at stonewall

[swarnpert]

avril lavigne was right. what the hell