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@kethabali

he/xe | 24 reminders to myself

7,376 posts

Aug 4

inkandheartbreak

One day you'll miss me, when the silence lingers on, but by the time your heart looks back, I'll already be gone.

In the wind © All Rights Reserved — Jai

Aug 3

seven days sober and i'm so happy i can have my cravings now without binge eating because i'm not high and out of control yeeepeeee

i have finally accepted that this is who i am and that because that is who i am that i love so intensely i should be really selective on who i love because i will be heartbroken and i prefer to be heartbroken over someone i don't have to be ashamed of because they aren't completely fucking spineless

so i won't give all of myself to you immediately i will allow my nervous system to learn about you, all of you, at a pace that is comfortable for me and you because i know i can love hard and not everyone deserves that from me i won't give that to you if i think you're gonna disrespect the shit out of me once it ends if it does

like my exes wow they were so fucking disrespectful i'll never forget it and i'll never allow them back into my life not even as friends or acquaintances or any of that bullshit because they were just so fucking disrespectful the entire fucking time. so i am proceeding slower this time and being extremely communicative and honest and boundary having

Aug 3

seven days sober and i'm so happy i can have my cravings now without binge eating because i'm not high and out of control yeeepeeee

#so happy #ugh #i have to ask out someone #i'm so terrified #but i have to #i have that pull again #and i can't ignore it #everytime i've hadi t in the past i have had to act on it #i guess i do know how to ask people out #just not in a casual way #i am not a nonchalanat person at all in the slightes t #i will develop an infatuation and admiration for you over several months #and then ask you out in the most hopeless romantic way possible #and most poeple will say no to it #because most people simply too shallow and artificial and generally spineless for that #but my first lover was not #and i guess my second lover too #and so #i will actually continue this method #because i want my fairy tale #and so i must operate on such terms #besides i wrote him a sweet poem #and if he doesn't like it it really is his loss #bc i know i will be such a good lover #🧃#i guess the problem was never me loving too hard but me losing myself in love and also becoming codependent and using them as a source of #dopamine and not being fully honest or realistic about how long it takes my nervous system to regulate #like it's okay that it takes me several months to wanna ask u out and that it takes me several years to wanna date again #i got it down at thsi point on how to dot hat without losing myself nad my mind and enjoying life still #so i'm not scared of heartbreak as much as i thought i guess???

Aug 3

thepersonalquotes

Aug 2

remanence-of-love

#well ain’t that the truth! -iza

Aug 2

being sober is not as big of a deal as i thought

#i mean my insomnia is crazy #and my appetite is non existent most of the time #but when that fades #the emotions are high #but highkey #i've been like this as long as i can remember #i was very much like this in high school #only i constantly punished myself for it #but now i don't #i cry frequently #but also laugh frequently #iam everything i could have ever wanted from a lover #so i am so happy #and so full of grief #i am me #and i couldn't be more relieved #🧃

Aug 2

“Someone who truly loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you can be to handle, but still wants you.”

— Unknown

Aug 1

somewordsarebiggerthanothers

Aug 1

somewordsarebiggerthanothers

Aug 1

Aug 1

“If you’re brave enough to say “goodbye” life will reward you with a new “hello”.”

— Paulo Coelho

#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😋😋😋😋😋😋

Aug 1

“Just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaningful while it did last.”

— Candace Bushnell

Jul 29

letsbelonelytogetherr

— octobersfilm on substack (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

Jul 29

#cough cough cough #all my past friendships relationships etc #🧃

Jul 29

somewordsarebiggerthanothers

Jul 28

No amount of chemistry can make up for a lack of emotional safety.

Jul 1

dafancyuhinspiration

@kethabali - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag