joowon wouldn’t say he was unfamiliar with this kind of sugar mouth. he knew some kids who talked like that, back then, when he was trying to fit in in the school environment. he worked hard to be liked, he worked hard to be nice. in result, kids would flock around him with fake admiration. to some extent, it did feel good, joowon wouldn’t lie about it. some relationships faltered but new seeds might grow somewhere, anywhere. and kevin was one of them.
the word best friend would taste less bitter if it was muttered in genuineness. joowon let out a soft sigh to comfort himself, folding arms over his chest. he leaned back against the seat, making himself comfortable as much as possible.
“no, of course it’s not,” joowon replied. he eyed the woman next to kevin and gave her a courtesy smile when their eyes met, but never feel bothered to look at her again. with a little hum, joowon brushed off this awkward feeling of meeting a friend he had not met for a while–or, in other words, people he would like to avoid. maybe it was just in his head. maybe kevin did miss him since joowon was isolated from his social relation because of the dead phone a while ago. “how have you been?” he asked, pulling a cheeky smile. “it seems you’ve been doing great. even showing off your girlfriend in front of me now.”
Every time they met it was always like this. Courteous smiles and friendly words masked the underlying hostile meanings and barely-disguised insults. How long had it been like this? He couldn’t even remember when exactly honest intentions transformed into the mockery it was today. If he’d been an honorable person, he would’ve broken off this friendship a long time ago. But he had never said he was a good person. And meant it. It probably didn’t even matter though. This thing between them was so strained that it could break at any moment. He could practically feel it fracturing and breaking off little by little.
Even so, Joowon’s words left a foul taste in his mouth and he withdrew his arm from around the woman’s shoulders, reaching forward to grab his drink. He knew she didn’t even like him anyway-just wanted a good tip. Resisting the urge to throw it at the smug face across from him, he downed it in one gulp instead. The alcohol left a burning path down his throat and a bitter taste in his mouth.
If he was really honest with himself, it probably all started because he was so unbelievably jealous. That’s right. He hated Joowon and everything he stood for. He hated that Joowon had everything he never had, and everything he never would have. Joowon was accepted and loved by everyone who met him. He was not only good looking, but had one of the purest hearts he had ever come across. It made him want to stain Joowon’s reputation-make people look at Joowon like they looked at him. He wanted to see Joowon angry again, to prove that he wasn’t perfect, that he wasn’t all that he presented himself to be.
Was it borderline obsessive? Probably. Was it even worth it? Not at all. Did he hate himself for the way he felt? Yes. But it was too late now. He had come too far. It wasn’t like he could even stop now, even if he wanted to. He wasn’t even sure if he knew how.
“Not really. You were right when you suspected I had ulterior motives,” Kevin admitted. “I did something I’m not proud of,” He reached inside his jacket pocket to take out a piece of paper, hesitating for a split second before unfolding it and laying it down on the table between them. It was the copy of the massive loan he’d taken out. And at the bottom was Joowon’s name.
“I’m sorry,” he said simply, looking down at the table.
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