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Easter Sunday Dream/Vision. 03/27/2016

3/26/2016

As I drifted into a dream, I woke up, brushed my teeth, did my morning routine, and continued to what i thought to be a normal day, then I noticed that when i tried to put on my shoes... they were gone, and that’s when I realized I was dreaming, but in a third person view.

After realizing this, I basically went back in time, from when I was a kid in catholic school . and the funny thing, was that it was showing me my religious walk. my catholic / christian milestones.

Word’s couldn’t describe how beautiful this scene was. I was just quietly watching in awe, of a 8 year old Kevin praying about innocent things like hoping his grandma would bring him to the broadway arcade. giving him the courage to tell his elementary school crush he liked her, and putting my bro in a good mood so i could get first dips on the computer that day.

Even the fact that it would show me trying to read the KJV bibles during mass, but I couldn’t comprehend the language in it just made it added the cream on the crop for authenticity.

It was so heartwarming for that instant, Then a thought drifted into my mind,

“why am i seeing this, Why am i here?”

The moment I finished that thought, My vision went Pitch Black for 2-3 seconds, Then we go back into the original dream

The time was 10:00 am. 3/27/2016, Easter.

I decided to go ahead I woke up, Brushed my teeth, did my morning routine. Then found myself in front of my car.

Time: 10:35 am

“hey I have enough time, lets get a nice car wash to get rid of the pollen on my car” I thought

and with that simple thought. rewind.

Time 10:00 am.

In front of my car, At this point, I was just shocked, didn’t know what was happening so instead of driving the car, I decided to stay home.

By doing so, the moment, i turned 11:00 am. I instantly restarted back to where I was. I couldn’t force myself awake, I was basically stuck to play this game.

So hey I thought, Maybe if I just go to church early, and wait in the parking lot, it’ll be fine, hey thats what he’s trying to tell me right?

Then I teleported to the church parking lot.

Time: 10:50 am.

But only at this point, I couldn’t leave my car, my door was locked from the inside out, and just the sound of my engine.

Time : 10:55 am.

Trying to do open sesame to the door to see if it would work. And I even called out for a couple of friends to see if they would open the door for me. None of them couldn’t see me.

Time: 11:00 am

I didn’t rewind, woohoo as a I thought, Then as I realized I couldn’t wake myself up, and the door was still locked. As I was about to drive back home ( since that was the only thing i could do)..

I had flashbacks of my 8 year old vision. but now only in a darker tone. hearing roosters crow and constantly hearing “why didn’t you pray, that’s all I as for”

After that, I saw myself Waking up at 12:30 pm rushing to church,wearing exactly what wore yesterday the key feature that was striking we’re my brown shoes that had pollen on it, and saw my church friends a korean style school lunch. and I went into a empty EM room to silently pray.

Today I woke up at 12:30 pm. Rushed to church, wearing literally what i wore yesterday (with the brown shoes with pollen on it). and the first thing I saw was my EM friends, eating the exact same korean style lunch. and i just went into the em room to silently pray.

so yeah, i’m kinda spooked and I needed to get this off my chest. This has been a good experience spiritually, but Im just having trouble sleeping because of it.

Be yourself.

People seem to condition themselves that they’re not "good enough". You just need to be yourself while at the same time trying to improve your self. Be the best version of you, and there will be someone out there who loves you for that. Stay Positive!

what can you do when you see your loved ones making the wrong choices.

London.

Still thinking about it.. it doesn't help that i need to give them an answer soon.

if Bernie gets elected, I'm considering job hunting in london.

ok. This is the start of something i wanted to do, an insight of, and what will be my life in 5 years, but my inner struggles and how i cope to adjust too it.

Wooo thats a long title lol, but needless to say, i really wanted to share my experiences as, an intern for a full service investment firm and a couple weeks from become a fully registered representative, Financial advisor, Stock-broker, investment-broker.. whatever the hell you want to call me lol

Now, This is an ongoing series that i’ll try too update on a day to day basis, ill probably update it every night before i go to bed

i just decided to go with this theme because, For me personally its been EXTREMELY TOUGH. i honestly don't know how to put it into words, but its not really the work that was tough, but it was the risk of literally losing, what was a potential, you know every day, six figure job thrown out the window, just too pursue a chance, not a guaranteed job, a chance, 5 interviews before i even qualified and too put more pressure on myself... i was up against multiple ivy league students, but by gods grace and my asian persuasion, i ended up being the candidate for R.M.Stark.Co.Inc Charlotte.

and now I'm finally seeing light instead of just never ending darkness. of countless practice tests, meetings, cold calling, LONGGG HOURS. (6am-9pm) are typically what i put in because i want to spend all of my time productively.

But really, if anyone is interested in the read, if you have ever read, or seen the movie “The Wolf Of Wall Street” or “The Boiler Room” I am here to shed a light too you.

Hollywood really tainted our industry, really for their own profits.

Not everyone is like Jordan Belfort, and quite honestly, There REALLY IS PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO MAKE/SAVE YOU MONEY. And i can definitely say I am truly blessed for working with people who are probably some of the greatest mentors i have ever had, in my continuing life.

So this is it, Kevin Lee’s Journey to Wall Street.

ill continue this starting next week Monday and just go over just things that I've learned (that aren’t investment related) but just, everyday things, life lessons, and my own personal diary. So if you want to read along. then join me!

its time for me to find my ride or die now. or attempt too.

now is the time! for me too venture into the world that will ultimately lead too a element of wealth, health, and happiness!

ok first step

talk to someone

spend some money

chill some more.

spend some more money

Do lovey dovey stuff.

then spend more money.

go travel to different places.

eat at really expensive places.

.. expensive places.

and then every holiday.... FUCK.

....

.......

..........

......

...

Damn it.

micdotcom

but its really funny though. people do follow money. no matter how innocent they seem.

In the end, you either end up on two polar opposites of the spectrum.

The master, or the slave.

theres no sugar coating it, because ultimately, there is that person, who will work that extra mile to be that ahead of you. while the rest just enjoy their life in hopes that everything will just fall in place.

First and last place will always exist in this society.

But I'm not mad, honestly I'm glad people don’t understand this concept, Because ultimately...

“Producers only benefit from non-producers”

And its funny because i truly believe that the social group i was associated with prior, did not understand that ideology.

People with New money don't just “become” wealthy. that would be old money.

We just work our asses off too one day, hope that our kids will have the same mindset that i had, too become the stepping stone, too true, old money.

Because ultimately, People who live in this world, (excluding religious beliefs) ultimately desire one of three traits.

Power, Money, or Fame.

so i say, adios, some will be missed, but will ultimately, be contacted,

but the rest can just yell boos at me from the cheap seats, will i just take first class.

i find it funny how people have so much hate towards “wall street” politically.

Why do people work at wall street? - because we want to live a different life that requires, a lot of sacrifice, to live a better life and give a better life to my future spouses.

why do people work as anything else? cause they fucking want too.

i hate,.. let me repeat myself I HATE people who say money isn’t everything “when they are the very much just as greedy, if not more, than people who work at wall street lol.

and the people who are educated millennials will probably figure out that we have a new “wall street” on the rise, its called silicon valley, or the tech industry.

i guess I'm just frustrated because, this is my first ever political campaign where i feel like, I'm being personally attacked, and the sad thing is, is that whoever really gets elected.. expect jeb bush wants to screw me and my future clients over.

Real Talk.

This post may be trivial and is not to stir any gender related debates. So if you’re here trying to debate about gender equality, I would like to address something really quick too you....

I do too. :D now just don't hate me for speaking my opinion.

We all know that the divorce rate in america is a WHOPPING 40-50%. go ahead and google it, lol I'm not joking.

But here check this out.

http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/causes-of-divorce/information/why-americans-divorce.aspx?artid=169

GFK Roper spoke to more than 1,500 people by telephone in September to discuss marriage and divorce issues with them. Slightly more than half of the respondents, 860, were women, and the rest were men. There is a margin or error of plus or minus 2.6 percent for the sample.

Women overwhelmingly said they made the decision to divorce because of abuse issues with a response rate of 48 percent.

But 23 percent of men said the reasons they divorced were based on money

Another 22 percent of men cited sex as the reason for the divorce.

ok. so something isn't really adding up in this statement. now let me explain. What i think, is probably a main contributing factor on why I believe (not saying i support it, but if this act doesn’t get passed, more than likely, we won't have gender equality in this generation or ever.)

NOW WHOAAA THERE, let me go ahead and tell you, I HAVE NO HARD INTENTIONS FOR WOMEN TT_TT like you gotta believe me on this one, i love yawl! I love Emma Watson! :D... (go support her HeforShe movement) T_T..

But seriously, I'm just putting it out there and making it a topic because it is a definite contribution on why the american divorce rates are pretty damn high.

now lets get into the hard hitting topic that we all know, but really shy away from in a normal conversation.

Divorce and asset relocation in the aftermath.

http://forums.soompi.com/en/topic/333326-so-why-do-most-women-get-half-of-the-mans-money-after-a-divorce-again/

Now i understand, this is a VERY sensitive topic that, honestly scares both genders from really committing into something that could turn into a beautiful, and great relationship! ...

But I'm gonna go ahead and cut the crap, because this isn’t gender equality.

I understand that the emotional instinct tells us “There is no 'mans half' and 'womans half' - marriage is a union of two people and they both have equal shares in everything - unless (as others have highlighted) there are children involved. A degree of financial priority would need to go toward the parent who was main caregiver (assuming it's not joint custody.)”

Trust me, i also understand the legality that revolves around the issue in which the pre-nuptual agreement usually is not signed in this day in age which allows the female too, Legally steal 50% of the mens assets.

Yes, i used to word steal, now let me follow up my thought process.

Back in the pre-millennials days ( pre 1984 for the people who, don't know what our generation (millennials) is called). This agreement made perfect sense in the fact that the guy was the main bread maker. While the women attended to family matters rather than financial assistance.

But guess what, its 2015 people.. whether you like it or not, both genders by definition, can do whatever the fuck they want to do. you are literally independent. men or women, can make a respectable amount of money now a days.

So that raises the question. Should this law still be enacted?

I feel a need for this post, because i can feel it within one of my coworkers who actually moved from Manhattan to Charlotte Because of his Ex taking half of his assets from away from him. And as i thought about it more and more, it reminded me of what a disgusting life we live in.

And honestly I need no justification on my part for this statement, because really, I would rather be labeled as a Wolf as a man, having doing nothing wrong to the community, then to later become a snake and take away, millions of dollars of hardworking people. and give it too the lazy, spoiled people that do not deserve it.

Kobe’s Ex wasn’t on the basketball court for countless hours improving her craft, so why should she be entitled to $150 million dollars?

Harley’s Ex wasn't Cold Calling day and night for multiple years straight to earn his book of business to have 50% of his assets in Real Estate, liabilities,and Capital Stripped away from him which was probably well over worth millions of dollars that was taken away from him.

and the other 50% of divorces that are happening across america, I'm pretty sure, the guys are probably feeling their wallet shrink while the women kinda, relished in basically taking a good chunk out of whatever he had. lol.

So whats the point? why am i talking about this?

Because i am honestly tired of us being targeted for all of the “blame” and labeled as wolves or beasts or whatever the fuck you wanna call us, when on the other end, the other party can be entitled LEGALLY to act like a snake, and get away with something they did not earn.

and equality’s track record, speaking from a historical standpoint, does not fare well when inequality is literally around us.

ha, i still have a lot to learn.

in the long run, i know I'm making the right choice, but sometimes, i just wished i could be more expressive, then driven.

i know what they mean now, my senior brokers always talking about sacrifices, and its funny cause i thought i knew.

until today, sacrifices aren’t just time constraints. but anything that can become a time constraint, must be eliminated in your life.

that could be anything, friends, social life, hedonistic habits, and people who you might have accumulating interests for.

they either help you get to where you need to be, or they will. drag. you. down.

and i guess with that being said, I've been influenced in the wrong ways as well.

i guess I'm just baffled. its funny how a introverted person like i was, could become, so greedy, and selfish.

sometimes i forget how much I'm putting on the line.

this isn't just a test, to see if i can be, “the ultimate salesman”.

but in reality, if i don't perform. ill lose everything.

i quit, what would have potentially been a upper level management position at yodle.

and now, all I'm thinking about is what would happen if i don't perform.

these 5 years, will determine, if i live a lavish, hollywood lifestyle.

or if i get cut, and, well, have no where to go.

do or die, get rich by 26. starts now

damn, i really didn't think this would be this hard.

lol, i actually low key like someone now. and its funny cause i literally did not give a care about this person before. fuck. . . . .

like I'm not saying fuck too liking someone, its just.

i gotta study and get my money.

why now lol.

.. for my 누나 랑 형님’s up in new york...

I’ve thought about, a lot of things recently, mostly just where i see myself in a year from now.

after a long time thinking about, just how everything played out, life and what not.

I’ve come to the conlusion that, i will stay in Charlotte, North Carolina. permanently.

and this wasn’t something that was just an overnight thought, if anything it probably makes since that i should move back to New York, i have more real friends, who genuinely knew who i am, (not saying there isn't any here in charlotte) , yours truly, returning to the hometown with a bang, and starting a new chapter in my life, where i can look at my past mistakes, and start new. a blank slate. a new Kevin Lee. and on paper, its a glamorous start too a new chapter of my life as well.

But, after some restless nights, and, just pondering about where I'm currently at now. i don't want to run anymore. if that makes any sense. i want to build a new life, even after the mistakes i have made in the past. rebuild relations with people, i had a shaky start with in the past.

everyones made their mistakes, and has had dark secrets that aren't exactly the most glamorous stories. at all lol

But i write this, not as a statement about the obvious (to the charlotte folks). But, as a apology, to my friends and family in New York.

So, Im sorry, all the hyung’s and nuna’s that i hyped up on my return to new york. my old classmates. and most importantly, my crew, we had great conversations on how we would be spending money like were kings and queens of the manhattan and queens. make a name for ourselves. But now i come to say, that i cannot follow that path anymore.

I will perfect my skills here, and with that being said, i hope we can still be close friends as we are to this day. and still be a part of what i still consider, a unbreakable family.

thank you guys for your unconditional love for me, i really appreciate it, you have honed me to fix my shit up, so i could stand as equals with you guys one day. and truthfully speaking, i don't know what i would be really, without your guys examples in my life.

so thank you. ill make you guys proud, and i won't let you guys down.

you really are the “another brother from another mother”

i look back in my life, and all i saw, was anger, and remorse at what the situation entailed too, or my life. but what i didn't realize was, that i was blessed with people who recognized that situation, and even though i bitched about life. How i was just a misunderstood child, who just lived under unforeseen events. you had my back. so now, i can say that. i will remember you always my nigga. Thank you for helping go through a trivial time in my life. and accelerating me to a new chapter as well. And nigga shut up, i know I'm not 9, but your probably the only person i would ever "sponsor" a post too, but your that nigga though. even if you move on to another chapter in your life. i know we're both going to make it. and if one of us falls, i know that we're pulling our asses right back up. So Joko, be safe in ND, and ill be praying for you day in and day out. and when you come back, were gonna spend i know we're both going to be liquid. million dollar homes, million dollar cars, and live life like we always dreamed of living. stay motivated man. and come back soon.

so my masculinity feels like it plummeted down to a all time low.

now, don't get me wrong, if i like you, I'm gonna make some moves.

but, why is it that I'm getting like really attracted to a person i knew back in high school, but never talked too on a personal level.

like seriously. i don't get it. I'm feeling like a little high school boy all over again.. >.<.

idk maybe its because its in a church setting, and the thought of going out with a person in church is a first.. but i don't even know why i would even ponder about that. at all lol.

sigh, jesus take the wheel.

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