I just wanted to say thank you @hanleiacelebration organizers and moderators. It was a great week to be a HanLeia fan! The prompts were fun and inspiring (I did manage to get two stories out — it was fun and almost a relief to focus on short scenes rather than the behemoth of story I’ve entangled myself in — and got almost through a third before I lost steam. But maybe that means I will actually finish it some time. Anything is possible, right?) and it was great to see all the work posted and reposted.
And thank you to everyone who wrote, created, shared, read, commented on, engaged in HanLeia fan art over the past week. I only got through a portion of the stories so I have lots more reading to keep me occupied and entertained. So, it’s a win-win for me.
(Also a shout out to everyone who posted regular updates to stories — celebration week inspired or not — because, dang, I really admire writers who can keep to a schedule. You are my heroes.)
**Photo of paint-by-numbers I made (as a kid) and gave to a friend (as an adult) and he framed and it now hangs in his apartment.
His legs were longer and could usually outrun her. But it had been crazy getting out then through the terminal and it was easier for her to dart around things. He lost sight of her a couple times but then she’d pop up a few feet away. It pissed him off a bit that she never seemed too concerned about keeping an eye on him but that was the Princess. She only had eyes for the Rebellion.
Han watched Leia dash inside the small transport then almost tripped over an old woman struggling with her bag. He somehow managed to not fall down, or knock the woman over, or swear too loudly at her. She was flustered, rattling on about getting to her daughter’s, the wheels on her bag were broken, she was going to miss her transport.
“Where?” He was shouting, which he knew probably wouldn’t help but the station was busy and he didn’t have much time.
“Where is my daughter?” The old lady looked around her and Han wondered if this was a dementia thing. “She’s on Capra. That’s where I’m going.”
“Your transport! Where’s your damn transport?”
She pointed to the ship maybe fifty feet away. Han grabbed the woman’s bag and ran inside. He shoved the bag on the luggage rack above an empty seat then raced back out. He heard a faint thank you but didn’t look back. He slid inside his own transport just as the doors closed and locked behind him.
Han took a few seconds to collect himself. Catch his breath. The car was crowded and loud and all seemed to know each other. They were talking, yelling across the seats, already sharing snacks and drinks, and taking up too damn much space in Han’s opinion.
He looked around but didn’t spot her right away. She was too short to be seen over the high seats anyway and likely tucked low to stay hidden. He moved down the aisle, keeping an eye out for her short wig and hat that she insisted on calling a bonnet just to bug him.
She’d been getting on his nerves non-stop this mission. It was supposed to be a quick job, in and out, but she kept coming up with detours. She told him he could mind his own business, find a card game or cheap cantina to entertain himself, but she had things to do. She wanted to see the training facility for herself, get some holos, and that led them to the vehicle pool. It was his idea to talk to the mechanics and that got them to the distribution centre where everything went to hell. They got out without too much blaster fire and only a few guards on their tail but it was one more time his life ended up on the line for some holos and a datachip. The pay, if there was any, was shit and there was definitely no glory. The Princess barely said thank you most of the time. Acted like he was the one who owed her something.
Two women, looked like a mother and daughter, were turned around in their seats with arms crossed on top. They were both talking and laughing and reminded Han of an advert. Probably selling insurance or housewares. Some over-the-top display of what a happy family was supposed to look like.
“This isn’t even all of us!” The mother’s voice carried over the rest of the noise which was kind of remarkable. “I have two brothers and their families coming in from Westlin.”
“And plenty we aren’t actually related to.” The daughter wasn’t as loud but just as enthusiastic. “They’ve collected a lot of people over the years.”
Han would’ve walked right past if she hadn’t answered them.
“I almost wish I could come with you. It sounds like a wonderful reunion.”
Leia wasn’t wearing the hat anymore, probably shoved in her bag, and had on a different jacket. She was sitting forward, practically on the edge of her seat. Her cheeks were still lightly flushed from their run. The adrenaline rush of making it out with all their info intact.
He plopped down in the seat beside her and expected to see a scowl. She’d been pissed at him for taking the nearest—and best option in that moment—exit out of the control room and setting off an alarm. Called him every insult she could muster while racing down the stairs. Said she was done with his idiotic schemes. But when she turned to look at him as he sat down, her eyes were bright. He might have said she looked happy if he didn’t know better.
“You made it. Thought I’d finally lost you for good.”
It was a jab but she was smiling.
“Gabbi, do you have the tickets?” A man called from across the aisle. He was rummaging through a bag and looking stressed.
“Duty calls.” The mother laughed and turned away. “Yes, husband dear. Everything is in order.”
More people got involved in the discussion. It was bizarre. Jokes and comments came all over. Everyone seemed to know the husband would have a moment of panic and Gabbi would have it all under control. Even the husband was laughing. Didn’t mind the ribbing. Agreed that he shouldn’t have doubted his wife’s organizational skills. Han tried to take it all in. Who the hell were these people?
“It’s their sixtieth wedding anniversary.”
He turned to Leia and she snickered at his obvious look of confusion. She leaned forward, over his lap, and pointed a few rows ahead.
“Up there.” The only thing visible was an elbow on an arm rest. “Gabbi’s parents. They are all going to Bercolt because that’s where they got married. All the kids, grandkids, friends.”
Leia sat back in her seat, resting her hands in her lap.
“Sounds exhausting.” He leaned back, resting his head against the seat. This flight already felt too long.
“Does everything have to be a problem with you?” She sounded frustrated. “Is it so hard to believe that a group of people like each other and want to spend time together?”
“Yeah.” He looked at her with full sneer disguised as a smile. “Fifty says there’s a fight before we land. Hundred it’s a fist fight.”
“You’re on.” She held out a hand to shake on it. She didn’t normally accept his bets so he was a little thrown off. “I will expect payment in full when we arrive.”
“Sure, sister.” He shook her hand. “Don’t worry. I pay my debts faster than your accountants.”
“Hmmm.” She raised an eyebrow. “I know of at least one Hutt who might disagree with that statement.”
The announcement to buckle in as the transport made the jump to lightspeed prevented him from responding but that was just as well. He couldn’t really argue with her point about Jabba.
They had a few hours flight and Han realized he didn’t have much to keep him occupied. Just sitting wasn’t going to cut it.
He felt the exhaustion catching up with him. They should’ve been on the Falcon but the stabilizers started acting up so they landed on Bercolt for repairs. Leia was furious. She ranted about his hunk of junk bucket of bolts ship and why did she ever think the Falcon would get the job done. Han was just as mad—at his damn ship for falling apart again—cos it felt like she was actually saying he was the one letting her down when he was doing every damn thing in his power to help—and spent as much time yelling as he did on repairs. When he and Chewie finally admitted they needed a new part, Leia announced she would take the transport on her own. That brought on more arguing but they ended up on the transport together. He was too wired, too aware that anything could go wrong, to get any sleep on that leg. Leia, however, conked out almost as soon as they hit hyperspace. Her head resting against his shoulder almost the entire way.
It was the opposite now. She was talking to Gabbi and her daughter but Han didn’t catch much of the conversation. Something about Gabbi’s parents running a dry goods shop that didn’t hold Han’s interest. He was lazily staring at her jacket. Finally noticed she hadn’t change jackets but turned hers inside out. Smart. Probably had that worked out earlier. Knew it was an option. Leia liked to know the options. Knew how to think on her feet. And looked good doing it. The jacket looked good on her. The exposed lining. It was a light blue and looked soft. So soft. Probably as soft as something. There was something he couldn’t quite name. Tip on his tongue.
“Honey cake?”
Han’s eyes shot open and he was set to knock the guy down if Leia didn’t grab his arm. The man leaning over Han was a lot older than Gabbi’s husband, probably in his eighties. He held out the container with honey cake, urging Leia to take a piece.
“My wife makes it. The best you’ll ever try.”
“Thank you.” Leia was cheery as she took some. Gave Han a quick nod to take his own. “It smells delicious.”
Han shook his head. First at Leia then the old man. He knew his eyes were probably a bit too wide but he’d been in a deep sleep only seconds earlier. This was a lot to take in all at once if he was expected to sit still and not rush at this man to get him the fuck away. Han didn’t like anyone standing so close.
The man walked off and Han turned back to Leia when he felt her move beside him. She rearranged herself in the seat, pulling her legs up and folding them beneath her. She cradled the cake in one hand.
“You were snoring.” She let out a soft laugh. “You look like you slept next to a magnet.”
He ran a hand over his head, thinking for some reason she meant his hair. He blinked a few times hoping to clear things up.
“How long was I out?” His voice was sounding rough.
“Maybe two hours.”
She broke off a piece of cake and put it in her mouth, careful not to lose a crumb. She always ate like that. Didn’t want anything to go to waste. Even when they were in the field and surviving on ration bars and meal replacement boxes. Slow and methodical. He watched her mouth for a few too many seconds.
“You missed a lot of juicy stuff. Gabbi and Harlon, that’s her daughter.” Leia nodded toward the seats in front of them. “They told me all about redecorating Harlon’s daughter’s room. Ruthy. That’s the daughter. Granddaughter. She’s sitting a few rows back with her father. All the cousins wanted to sit together so the fathers are back there pretending to keep watch. That’s how Gabbi described it. Pretending. Ruthy came up here a few times. She’s maybe seven and very cute.”
How or why was Leia still so energized? Didn’t she have a report to write? Plan some mission that would eventually get him killed?
“Why are you in such a good mood?”
Leia’s face fell very briefly but she put another piece of cake in her mouth and shrugged.
“Why do you insist on being such an ass?”
What the hell did that mean? She’d been tense before. Upset. Worried about the
mission than pissed when they ran into trouble. He was checking in on her and she snapped at him.
“Guess some people just bring it out in me.”
That got the reaction he was after though it wasn’t as satisfying as he hoped. She spun in her seat to face forward dropping her feet to the floor. She took a few obvious and deep breaths. Han waited for the comeback. The back and forth that fueled most of their interactions.
“I’m not falling for this time.” Leia put her hands in her lap again. “What about being surrounded by a happy, multi-generational family celebrating love and sharing honey-cake could put you in such a foul mood?”
“Never trust a happy crowd. All this talking and moving around is distraction. You should be checking your pockets instead of giving me a hard time.”
“I am not giving you a hard time.” She narrowed her eyes at him when she realized she almost took the bait. “No one in this car is a thief. Other than you, of course.”
“What the hell you done with the Princess? Two years straight, all I hear from you is the Rebellion. It’s the only thing that matters, all you want to think about, the only thing worth your time. Now suddenly it’s all baked goods and true love?”
“First of all, you know better than anyone that I do on occasion think about other things.”
A corner of her mouth went up in a half-smile and he felt caught. Yeah, he knew she had plenty else to say when she wanted but admitting that wasn’t going to help him make his point. He was losing sight of that point but felt certain he had one.
“It was a good day.” She turned in her seat. Rested her head against the seat while looking at him. “Things veered a bit off course but we got more than we anticipated. Information we can use. Information we desperately need. Take the day as a win, Han. It might be awhile before the next one.”
He felt wide awake. Ready for something. Another thing he couldn’t name.
“Do you know what you need?” She sat up again and Han knew he should probably be nervous. Alarm bells should be going off. “You need to learn more about Ruthy’s sticker collection.”
She leaned over him and called for Ruthy.
“More? Do I know anything about Ruthy’s sticker collection?”
“Trust me.” Leia was still leaning over him, waving down the aisle. “Once you know anything about the collection, you’ll never forget it.”
Han felt almost paralyzed at first and it didn’t help that Leia couldn’t stop laughing beside him. Ruthy stood in the aisle and rested the book on his lap. She went through every page and described every sticker in detail. It was a blur of names and storylines and superpowers he didn’t understand until he started asking questions. It still didn’t quite make sense after that but it was a hell of a lot more fun.
Ruthy’s stickers led to her older brother coming by to talk sports and his favourite team. Their little brother was, well, Han had no idea how old he was other than young. Not great at walking and didn’t say much. Gabbi spent a lot of time watching him. Called him her little bantha bear, which made no sense but Han could see the appeal.
Leia asked everyone questions. She might’ve been working recruitment but he was pretty sure she was just curious. She wanted to learn everything about these people in the time they had. She laughed at their stories. Listened and absorbed and stored them all.
Han looked up when he heard a loud clearing of a throat. The old man stood at the front and raised both his arms. Han watched as the man waited until everyone, including the non-family members in the car, quieted down and looked at him. There were a couple of giggles and someone clapped. Han exchanged a quick glance with Leia. She looked more curious than his perplexed.
“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.” The man’s singing voice was full and strong. Rich. “I'm half-crazy all for the love of you.”
Someone clapped and someone else let out a whoop.
“It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage.” He stretched his arms out wide and looked down at his wife. “But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a speeder bike built for two.”
The entire car burst into applause. Han looked over at Leia, sitting on the edge of her seat again and clapping. She was tearing up but looked happy.
“We will go tandem as man and wife.” The man helped his wife stand then draped an arm over her shoulder. “Peddling away down the road of life.”
Han didn’t exactly know what to do. He’d been in plenty of cantinas when beings started singing, usually very drunk and likely right before a brawl broke out. He wasn’t sure how he should react and if he should find cover for him and Leia in case things got messy. The old man continued to sing while he and his wife swayed. She rested a hand on his chest and laughed.
When the verse was done, Han turned back to Leia with a what the fuck just happened look but then a dozen people or more started singing the chorus. Back to Daisy and the speeder bike built for two. This time, everyone was swaying in their seats, including Leia.
A different guy, maybe a few years younger than Han, stood up. He was sitting far back in the car and Han thought he was with a different group but it was hard to tell. He jumped right into the next verse. Something about dark roads and bright lights in the dazzling eyes. That was the only part of the song that Han really understood. The young guy finished up, there was more cheering, then the chorus. More people were singing, filling the space with dozens of voices.
“How does everyone know this song?” Han stretched around his seat to look behind him. It was verging on rowdy but there was no brawl in sight. This was obviously something the family did often enough, including roping in strangers. He turned back to Leia. “You know this song?”
She could’ve rolled her eyes and said, Of course. Made a crack about everyone knowing this song. But instead she smiled and tilted her head. She nodded a few times and laughed, and when the chorus started up again she sang along.
Everyone was in on it now. He knew if he scanned the car, the old man would be at the front with his wife, her hand still on his chest, both of them swaying. Gabbi would be holding her grandson. Her husband would be standing at his seat, waving his arms like a conductor. But Han didn’t look around, didn’t scan the car. He kept his eyes locked on Leia.
There were still tears, welling up but refusing to drop. Her cheeks were getting that rosy tinge again. Not from running or adrenaline but taking in everything thing in the room. The happiness these people felt being together. And then he felt it. It was coming from her not the room. He wasn’t going to call it happiness cos that seemed like a leap and joy wasn’t a thing he acknowledged but he did wonder for a second what a bursting heart might feel like.
“You'll take the lead in each trip we take.”
Her voice was unexpected. Rich and full and haunting. Leia speaking could drive him mental, in good and bad ways, and he’d imagined sounds she might make in bed more than a few times. Singing, though. Her singing voice could crack a guy wide open. It felt like an invitation. A promise. The unimaginable.
“Then if I don't do well, I will permit you to use the brake.”
Her hand brushed against his. He moved his fingers to wrap around hers but she pulled away too quickly.
“My beautiful little Daisy Bell.”
Leia’s face went bright red as everyone cheered. Han clapped along with them. Whistled a few times and called out, “Nice, Sweetheart!” She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment and collapsed against the back of her seat as the crowd sang the final round of the chorus.
She didn’t sing along. The almost-tears were gone and her blush was starting to fade. Han twisted in his seat so he was facing her, shielding her from view. He reached out and pushed the bangs back, repositioning her wig that was slightly askew. She didn’t dart away when his fingers gently caressed her temple.
The song was done and Han could hear laughter, one of the kids let out a happy shriek, chatter as everyone settled back down. Leia sat up straighter and cleared her throat. She was trying to restore order. Probably planned on getting back to preparing her report and making plans for when they landed on Bercolt. Han chuckled and she raised an eyebrow, wondering what he thought was so funny.
He knew better than to admit what was on his mind. He shrugged instead. Repositioned himself in his seat. Gave her a bit of space so they could continue to enjoy this moment. Each other.
She could go back to her work and plans. Slip back into their arguments and insults. Do whatever she thought was needed to return to the normal they’d been living for two years. It was all fine with Han cos he knew the truth. There was no going back after this one.
Thanks to @diplomaticprincess for tagging me! It's great to read what other have posted and nice to take stock of what I've been doing. Very easy to forget these things.
Three ships:
Han/Leia (first and always)
Maddie/David on Moonlighting (because I am old and they were adorable)
Mulder/Scully
(There are probably more than a few others — Felicity/Ben, Stede/Blackbeard — apparently I like a good ship no matter what my age)
First ever ship: Han/Leia
Last song: Clair de Lune (because my friend and I couldn’t remember the song so we played it)
Last movie: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (also, weirdly, next movie)
Currently reading:
Mike Nichols: A Life by Mark Harris (and it will likely take me a very long time to finish)
Man Hunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin
A Room with a View by E.M. Forster (I’ve read this before but I felt like I needed a bit of comfort food)
Currently watching:
Platonic
Righteous Gemstones
(There’s also a rewatch of Bosch happening in my house but that’s mostly me sitting in the living room while my husband watches)
Last think you wrote/are writing right now:
Still working on a long fanfic. Got a bit stuck on things so working on several chapters at once so I can get a handle on what needs to happen and when. That's the idea anyway.
Working on a series of poems (cos when I’m stuck in a winding, long form story, short poems are a good counterbalance).
List five things that make me happy
(Tagged by @diplomaticprincess)
My friends who are family and the family who are friends. It’s ridiculous that I have these wonderful people in my life and I hope they never wise up.
Stories. Something you want to tell me. TV. Movies. Books. Songs. HanLeia fan fiction (that I wish I found much earlier in my life cos I think my brain would be in a better place). Anywhere you want to take me. I am so appreciative of all the things that come my way and that I get to live in for a bit.
Los Angeles.
I am writing this on a Sunday afternoon, sitting in a bar, watching a band. Crowd and band are all ages. Guests come up to sing a song. Couples dance. People are playing pool behind us. The couple in front of us are in their 70s and somehow both look like Burl Ives. They alternate between holding hands and taking videos and are cracking each other up. We are getting the first real signs of spring in Toronto and one of my oldest friends in the world just walked through the door.
My dog. Probably your dog, too. But definitely my dog.
dededos
romaincrisis
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
titsay
stormborns
kaledo-art