Continued from here: Meme “I want to sleep forever”
@tintedxblack
They were nothing but words. Words that were said offhandedly, with no real mean to do any harm to anyone around whoever said them. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard the words, people said them all around him at any given time through out his day, at work or at school, it didn’t matter, someone somewhere always said them. It wasn’t a big deal, they were just words, nothing more.
But he’d never heard Sora say the words. At least, not when Riku happened to be around. Maybe that’s why his attention was immediately pulled away from the math problem he’d been working on, to stare at the younger teen sitting across from him with wide disbelieving eyes, the pen in his hand dropping down onto the table they had their school books and homework sprawled across.
“You can’t just say things like that,” he said after a moment, the feeling of dread heavy in his stomach. “T-that’s not- you can’t-,” he said, stumbling on his words as his eyes dropped down to stare at the half finished math problem written in his notebook, confused and unsure of what to say.
All he could think about was Sora asleep.
His memories a mess between what was real and what wasn’t.
Of the possibility of Sora not waking, if something wasn’t done to change it.
Of knowing that if it wasn’t for him, Sora would have been fine, back home, where their biggest worry was building their raft for the dreams of leaving the island. That if he hadn’t of caused the destruction of their world, Sora and Kairi would have both been fine and safe. That if it wasn’t for him, then neither of them would have been dragged into this Keyblade War, that they wouldn’t be stuck here on this stupid island with no answer as to why or how they’d gotten there with no way of leaving.
He let out a gasp, unconsciously, as he rushed to stand, he needed to go..
he couldn’t breath..
it was too cramped..
too stifling..
too..-
“I have to go,” he said, “I can’t- I,” he began before he fell silent, turning away from the still seated teen as he rushed out of the room.
He knew he had made a mistake the moment the words had left his lips. They hadn’t meant anything when he said them, just an offhand comment that he was exhausted with school... But he knew, the moment he saw the look on Riku’s features it was as though he’d slapped the older boy across the face.
The pen clattering to the table between them was the only sound for a moment, and it was like a calm before a storm that Sora knew was coming but had no way to avoid. The damage had already been done.
You can’t just say things like that
T-that’s not- you can’t
Of course he couldn't just say things like that; After all they had been through, all Sora had unknowingly forced Riku to endure, to say something as steeped in guilt and memory as “I want to sleep forever” ... He was ashamed of himself. Riku never stopped trying for him, never stopped going the extra mile and more to make sure he was happy and safe. To blatantly throw all of his work and his suffering back in his face without a thought, Sora felt horrible.
“Riku I--” He started, desperate to say something to fix what he’d started but there was no use. He heard that sound, and it was like a stab to his heart. It wasn’t often that Riku let such raw emotions show; that Sora got to see a glimpse inside the armour Riku wore like skin... It physically pained him.
Riku was always the strong one. Riku endured, Riku survived, Riku did what needed to be done while Sora always just stumbled his way through hoping for the best... He had no idea exactly what Riku had experienced while he slept in Castle Oblivion but he knew at least, it had been his fault he hadn’t been there to help.
“Riku wait!” He finally found his voice, standing from his chair as the other silently fled the hotel room. Their homework forgotten Sora hesitated chasing him, wondering if he should give him space but thought better of it. Taking off after the older boy, Sora quickly found him outside.
“Riku I didn’t mean...”
He trailed off. Didn’t mean what? To pull up bad memories? To trigger a feeling of helplessness better left forgotten? To insinuate that everything Riku had done was for not and he wished he was still locked away in that chamber while his memories and all memory of him were chipped away and erased from time?