[keytc]

so if u remember j .. (old tc) i just found out that the middle schoolers talk about what happened between me and him and they made up this rumor that he got a restraining order against me … (which is not true)

and if anything they should be going at him because 1 - i do not like him anymore 2- he still talks to me even after he found out i liked him…

[keytc]

so .. my old tc … j

— let’s talk about him.

i no longer like him but he still thinks i do, anyway, i hadn’t seen him since early may until last week wednesday where i saw him enter a store and im pretty sure he thought i was taking a picture of him when i was actually trying to take a picture of the flowers outside of the store

and today i was on my run and i see someone riding their bike and i was thinking it might be one of my friends that live close by but as they got closer I realized it wasn’t and i said “i think i know who that is” and my brother said “no you don’t, he’s a grown man” and i said “exactly is j” and i ran as fast as i could and im pretty sure he would’ve taken the road i was on but of course i was there so most likely why he turned another way

[keytc]

ik i don’t have a tc on r anymore but the moments that ive had w him recently r kinda cute so i j wanted to share

— tuesday was act day so i was stuck w him the whole day and he was being a little awkward but i got through it .. then i had to go back and get stuff before i left but r had to be with me (2 other girls came w me too) he kinda grabbed my arm very light and gentle and I’m ngl it sent the butterflies in my stomach soaring

— a bit ago a got my backpack zipper stuck on a tag and the other day my friend (who which has the same bag) did the same thing and i said “the other day r had to help me cut it” and he looked up at me. time passed and then he cut the tag off her backpack too ,, anyways he started talking “soo.. y this happened to you too?” he was being really awkward and shy idk

oh and also the way he says my name?? he kinda yells at everyone else and then he just says mine so calmly

i have a new blog for b so ill j log on here and talk abt r even though he annoys the crap out of me most of the time

[keytc]

r has been really .. nice recently

i dont have a tc on him anymore since that whole thing he pulled off but what i despise the most is that i don’t quite hate him either. he talks about his past to me and honestly he’s so fascinating and amusing but there’s no way lol

[keytc]

my new goal is to get state champ or at least make it to districts next year so b will be proud and who knows maybe i could like run into his arms and get a hug from him like i’ve seen other wrestlers do .. 😅

[keytc]

j was at practice yesterday (well obviously he’s the coach) and i stayed at the high school doing the girls laundry anyways

when j was leaving he said “good night ladies .. have a good night” and looked right at me .. i was on my phone but i saw him from the corner or my eye

idk why he keeps doing this and i prob shouldn’t even be paying attention to him anymore

[keytc]

the friendship i spent time building with r has completely deteriorated.. there’s obviously something bugging him but i won’t bother. as he said , he’s a grown adult and i’m just a kid who knows absolutely nothing.

[keytc]

hello? i think i might’ve accidentally said yes to dating someone last night ..

why? i do not know. do not ask me.

half of me is cheering me on

the other half is reminding me of b

[keytc]

yesterday j was there

(he brought his daughter) his baby was on the bleachers and j was on the mat with the coaches. the baby started screaming “pa” which is like dad yk and i was the only one who noticed

i went to my friend and said “hey she’s looking for her dad and he’s over there and she’s on the bleachers i would take her to him but i can’t so can you?” and she did which i’m so incredibly great ful for omg

and then afterwards the baby didn’t want to leave to she started kicking screaming hitting her dad and then my friend forgot something so she left and i was stuck in an awkward situation with j and i don’t want to talk about it because it’s embarrassing 😅

[keytc]

r has been a lot nicer to me since the whole thing happened lmao

on thursday i went up to him to get something signed because i was going to be gone friday bc of wrestling

anyways i said really quietly “mr could you sign this for me?” and he said “yeah, tomorrow?” i nodded and he said back gently “okay there’ll be two assignments on google classroom and when you turn them in make sure to email me and tell me why they were late”

and then friday in homeroom he had us to resumes for a scholarship and he went around making sure we all started it he came up to my friend and he was somewhat stalling and i was shaking lmaoo anyways he came up to me and started reading

he said “oh you live on the actual *address* ? that’s cool” and he kinda laughed about it

he was being really sweet and gentle and not like usually because this man literally talks in capital letters but anyway , that’s it

have a good day / night ! 🤍

[keytc]

i haven’t talked to r properly this week .. he’s being such an ass for no reason.

on tuesday we had grade checks and compared to everyone else he yelled my name and kept a straight face .. he said my name two more times bc of an award thing but he seemed calmer

i genuinely dont know what i did wrong .. i’ve talked in his class but not as much as other people, i get my work done and i’ve kept up at least an A in his class. i stopped talking in his class at all.

[keytc]

today marks 1 year since i was called down to the office for my crush on my old tc .. IM LITERALLY GONNA BE WITH HIM FOR THREE HOURS STRAIGHT TODAY ..

[keytc]

i saw j today i was with one of bs kids trying to find his brother & cousin .. i walked into the wrestling room and we locked eyes for a very brief moment until i looked away. i felt his gaze on me but i didn’t give in. my heart felt like it was shattering .. i don’t miss him i just don’t know how to deal with any of this especially since i’m really fond of him

[keytc]

i feel like completely restarting this blog .. 😀

[keytc]

B IS SO SO CUTE

[keytc]

and b was also wearing jeans and a blue crew neck w the college he went to and broo he looked so pretty

and his hair is almost back to the length it had been ahh

[keytc]

when i wasn’t so pissed at r and payed attention to what he said ,, he said “forbidden love ,, the best kind”

and i just shook my head because he ,, obviously doesn’t know ..