This faulty thinking attracted irrelevant situations in my paths of life. I saw the view from up high that mountain, everything looked like tiny little ants. I tasted the saltiness of my sweat, I could not stop I did not stop. I was eager to keep going to keep running up that hilltop at any cost. But what was the prize at the end of that hike of life? To gain that high status and having it all? Why do we want it all? I had more than enough money, I had all the boys, all the attention, the car, the alcohol, the friends, the popularity, the health, the youth… ect. I had it all but yet, I felt so empty. My hike in the twists and turns of the trails caused me to trip over small pebbles that stand for meaningless situations, purposeless ideas, endless paths, dead end roads.
I had it all. Having it all caused me to turn blind. Seeing it all but not being able to see has being the most pathetic stage of my life.
I had it all. Being able to run on crooked paths but not being able to walk straight paths of life with dignity.
I had it all. Grabbing on to what I thought was secure but not being able to catch grip of the hand that was holding me up. Then I had it all. I reached the highest of all highest, or at least I believed so. I learned that it was an illusion. It temporarily kept me going but then the clock stop ticking and all I felt was emptiness. It was dark and made me feel alone. Maybe your story is different and all you can relate to is the final result, the emptiness and the, “Is this it? Is there more?”
The answer is yes, there is more; the more is less. The terrifying desire of wanting and needing it all for the only purpose of our own desires is selfish I believe. That’s why it led me to emptiness. All that running all that wanting, soon I turned it to less and I began to see and I began to experience the love for others.
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