Walking With Jack: Spiritual Guidance From The Game Of Golf (Part II)
Continued reflection from the book Walking With Jack...
6. Accept That We Are Not Perfect
“I have seen so much misery on golf courses, and it is usually inflicted worse upon those who try to play the game with any degree of perfection” (183)
There is certainly a danger in perfectionism. At some point, we need to not be afraid to make the wrong choice. We can’t obsess about what to do. I’ve fallen into this trap before. I’ve agonized over decisions. I’ve brooded and worried. And while fretting, I’ve failed to recognize the blessings and beauty in the simple things in life. We need to believe enough in ourselves that after prayer and consultation, we are equipped to make the best decision going forward. We cannot have absolute control. And often while worrying about potential mishaps, we can completely miss the moment. Ultimately, we are dependent on God. It’s impossible to control everything in our lives. And we have to accept the fact that we’re not perfect. But we all have self-worth. We all are blessed with gifts. And we are capable of great things. But we have to give ourselves permission to be imperfect first.
7. Bear Witness To The Beauty
“I’m going to start not taking myself so seriously. I’m going to bear witness to the beauty instead” (160)
How easy is it for us to get wrapped up in the “what-ifs” of life? Or to project and plan so far ahead that we lose sight of what’s important at the moment? We let our thoughts wander so far ahead that we let the beauty of the present become distorted by our desires or dreams. Surely dreams are good to have. Dreams push us, grow us, and make life worth living. But we can’t ignore the beauty in every day. Snyder writes of one caddy’s attitude when preparing to head out onto the links in Scotland in treacherous and miserable conditions. While some of the caddies complained about the weather, he provided a little perspective: “It ain’t Normandy” (193). We’re blessed with the people around us and the opportunities that we have. Sometimes we fail to see that. There’s plenty in this world to laugh at, smile at, and joke about. In fact, beauty is everywhere if you take the time to look for it. Sometimes, like the wise caddy’s advice, it’s just a matter of perspective. Charles Dickens said, “Reflect upon your present blessings – of which every man has many – not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” My favorite movie is It’s a Wonderful Life. In the final scene, George Baily makes the choice to cherish the love of his friends and family instead of worrying about his other problems. “Isn’t it wonderful, I’m going to jail!” he exclaims. His financial problems are insignificant when compared to his love for his family and friends. This year, I put a sign up in my room that said, “What are you thankful for today?” And it helped me recognize even the smallest piece of goodness that found its way into my day. That’s what we’re constantly called to do – to bear witness to beauty.
8. Realize That God Makes Good Our Mistakes
“But now I see that this great mistake also gave me something I never could have even dreamed of in those days” (204)
I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But as hard as it has been to not question those decisions, not dwell on the what-ifs and should haves, I’ve realized that it’s futile to think that the past can be changed. The possibilities of the future, however, are endless. We have to rise above our pasts. And I know that “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” We all have been given great opportunities. And like Coach Brooks says in Miracle, “Great moments are born from great opportunities.” But to become the people we idealize ourselves to be, we have to accept the past, learn from it, and move forward. And at some point, we need to devote our energy to focusing on the wonderful opportunities ahead of us instead of dwelling on this past.
God works in mysterious ways. It’s important to take discernment and decision-making seriously. But when we do things out of love for God and others, we can’t question those decisions. Thomas Merton beautifully stated of discernment, “... the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.” God still loves us, we cannot forget that: “Sometimes we can have a false image of God as one who punishes us if we made the wrong decisions, even if in good faith. We should not worry about, and re-discern, previous decisions if made properly and with due order. Rather, we should do the best with the choice we have made, and God will work with us in that.”
9. Fight As Hard As You Can
“I need to find some way to persuade Jack that his only battle today is to fight as hard as he can for each individual shot, one shot after another, no matter what occurs, and never to give up, even for a moment. If he does this, then he cannot lose” (210)
The drive, desire, and commitment required by athletes are what make sports spiritual. Sports hone our minds and our bodies. They push us to the limits. They ask us to go outside ourselves to find the will to win, to succeed, to find the truth. That’s what we are called to do in our spiritual lives as well. It helps to ask ourselves sometimes, “If not us, who? If not now, when?” Sometimes we fall into the trap of putting off things that should be taken care of at the present. But we are called to constantly live God’s message, to fight for what is truly good and beautiful. In The Lord of the Rings, Frodo expresses despair and hopelessness by asking Sam, “What are we holding onto, Sam? Unflinchingly, Sam responds, “That there’s some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.” At some point, we need to make the conscious choice to live like Sam, to fight for what is important to us, day-in and day-out.
10. Have Faith: Be Not Afraid
“You only get once chance”
“Not if there’s still one person left who believes in you” (143)
“Though the game of golf is played on magnificent ground, it is perfected inside the mind” (172)
Sometimes we pass up opportunities. Sometimes we fall short. But as long as there is forgiveness, as long as there is a deeply held belief in us, we are always given another opportunity to grow, change, and chase our dreams. How many times do we find ourselves asking for God’s forgiveness? Without fail, He will welcome us back with open arms. He will always work to find the lost sheep – He never gives up on us. As long as we accept responsibility for our failings and shortcomings, we are always welcomed back. I went to a talk in Dallas this past year sponsored by a group called Young Catholic Professionals. The speaker was Mr. James Moroney, CEO of the Dallas Morning News. He provided a valuable reminder for all present that night about the value of faith:
“A clever person once said that the key to managing your life well was akin to juggling balls, some of which were rubber and some of which were made of glass. He said the trick was to never drop the ones made of glass. So, FYI, there are only three made of glass. Faith. Family. Friends. Don’t get confused and think your work is one of those made of glass. If you do, I can almost guarantee you that your focus on your work will cause you to drop one of those balls that are really made of glass. And when your faith is broken, when your family is broken, when your relationship with your friends is broken, you are broken, whether you know it or not. And if you don’t know it, that’s the worst of all.”
Our lives, our decisions, our actions are all a result of our faith. In Matthew 9:20, Jesus heals a woman who has been subject to bleeding for twelve years and tells her: “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” We are called to daily live our faith through all of our actions, and most importantly, through prayer and the sacraments. To some extent, what we think, we become. Having a strong prayer life can help us become closer to God and give us the strength to help others. Prayer is a fantastic way to express gratitude daily and develop spiritually. If we have faith first, the other aspects of our lives will flourish.
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