Kid Gratitude

I Could Not Do It Without You.

[kidgratitude]

I Weight Mondays.

Two things. First of all, I hate Mondays. And I know you do too, but I think our reasons are different. In fact, I think the reason I hate Mondays is because of the reason you hate Mondays. See, you hate Mondays because it’s the start of the work week, and the end of the weekend, right? I can’t stand that. I don’t like weekends. Our mentality is such that in one week, there are five days of work, followed by two days of rest. Those two days are the problem. Success doesn’t take two days off, and neither does failure. Success isn’t going to wait around and excuse you because it’s the weekend. I should be working as hard on those two “off” days as I am the other five. That way, there won’t be anymore Mondays.

When I came out of the “fat-guy closet” two weeks ago, a friend of mine asked if I needed a “progress buddy”. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew that I didn’t want one. Which was exactly why I said “yes”. Since then, it’s become sort of a “dear diary” sort of thing, only in this case, the diary talks back. One of the things I remember discussing was weight. If you remember from my previous post, one of the reasons I don’t like to talk weight is because I want everyone to feel like they can relate to the struggle, no matter the number.

But here’s another problem I have with using numbers. The number as a goal isn’t rooted in reality. Think about what your goal weight is, or if you ever had a goal weight, what it was. Nine times out of ten, I’d bet that number ended in a five or zero. Now ask yourself this: why?

Years ago, I worked for a real estate auction company. My job during the auction was to work with bidders and convince them to making another bid (commonly referred to as a “ringman”). So many times, the bidder would say that they’re limit was a round number like $100,000 or $150,000. And I’d ask them, other than being a nice round number, what was the actual significance of that number. Nine times out of ten, they didn’t have an answer.

My point is that these round numbers are nice, but I don’t believe that there’s any legitimacy behind them. To my way of thinking, it’s no different than climbing a mountain. You make the journey, reach your destination, and plant your flag in celebration. After enjoying the view for a little while, you go right back to where you started.

As for me, I don’t know where the peak is. But I do know that once I get there and plant my flag, I don’t want to come back down. It took me 45 years to get to this point, and if it’s all the same, I’d like to take the next 45 to reach my peak. So now, whenever I see a diet or exercise program that lasts 30 days, I immediately think about the 16,406 days that aren’t being covered. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the program whatsoever, but it’s not where my head is at.

Until next time...

[kidgratitude]

The Fine Art of Failure

A lot of people have been talking to me about failure the last few days, and I told them that I would go into more detail on the blog when I got the chance. To me, failure isn’t a bad word. It’s actually a pretty good word. In my opinion, failing is one of the best things you can do.

Think about the very first time you did something, and how much you sucked at it (yep, even that). If you’re anything like me, you probably spent a lot of time beating yourself up over it. Why? Who says you’re supposed to succeed at something you’ve NEVER done? The idea that mastery of anything can come purely out of thin air is utterly ridiculous. Yet, we still hold firm to that belief.

In standup, if you can’t learn how to fail, then you can never be a comedian. I have a bit that I do in my act about taping a song off the radio. Unlike a lot of my material, I have never put pen to paper and physically wrote anything regarding this bit. Instead, I went onstage one night and talked my way through it (comics refer to this as “writing onstage”). While it didn’t get a great response, I could tell it had promise. So show after show, night after night, I’d go onstage and tell this bit. Each time I’d tell it, I would make changes as I saw fit. Now, six years later, it’s one of the strongest bits in my act. That would never have happened without failure.

The way I see it, success is only going to come after failure. Lots and lots of failure. Success is not the opposite of failure. It’s the product of failure. Think of it as steps on a staircase, only you don’t know how many steps there are until you reach the top. Each step is failure, and success is at the top of the steps.

Of course, you won’t get anywhere if you don’t start. So figure out what you want to do. Then go out and fail. Then fail some more. And when you do, hold your head high. Some people won’t understand. They will judge you and maybe even ridicule you. If you’re lucky they might even call you a failure.

Jason Brown sent me this audiobook by Robb Wolf called “Wired to Eat”, which I am currently listening to while milling the tread...download a free copy here.

Last week, Martin Reamy posted this article on my Facebook timeline. It talks about the relationship between sobriety and the human connection. As I’ve mentioned, sobriety and wellness are pretty much the same struggle. 

When I first came out of the “fat-guy closet”, one of the first people to reach out to me was Sherry (Shope) Heinly, both with well-wishes and a plan of action. She told me about a program called “Take Shape for Life”, which has helped tons of people, including her. Find out more here.

Until next time...

[kidgratitude]

The Struggle Remains The Same

Question: How do you start a weight-loss program and keep track of your progress if you never care about the weight?

Good question! The answer is easy: It ain’t a weight-loss program. My goal isn’t to lose weight. My goal is to be happy. If I can be happy with what I see in the mirror, then I’ll be satisfied. If I can buy a pair of pants that didn’t come from the “Big and Tall” store, then I’ll be happy. If my blood pressure, cholesterol, and other metrics are in normal ranges, then David’s a happy camper.  

In my opinion, I have no control over how much I weigh. I can do this, or I can eat that, but I can’t control the number on the scale. So I’m not focusing on it. Instead, I focus on the things I can control. I can control what I eat (or at least I think I can!). I can control what sort of physical activity I take part in. Other things, such as water intake and my stress level, are all contributing factors to health, and are within the realm of my control. So that’s what I’m going to worry about.  

Another reason I’m not concerned with the weight is so everyone can relate. If I weighed 250 pounds, then someone who might weigh 450 is going to look at me and say “he doesn’t have it so tough”, and think that inspiration is only available from someone who is closer in weight. I know this, because it’s exactly what I did. But after a while, I learned that it doesn’t matter about physical size; the struggle remains the same.  

By now, you might know, I had a less-than-stellar weekend. Eating poorly, not doing the work, and not getting enough sleep. I didn’t like where I was. What I’m going to work on, when I get into those valleys, is to view myself and my situation from the outside. To look at it in a subjective manner, and not get into my emotions too much. I think adding emotions to a situation can sometimes do more harm than good. This way I can just concentrate on getting results.

Now it’s Monday morning, and I’m tired as hell. But I’m off to a good start. Went walking earlier, and have plans to meet someone tonight for a walk. One thing that I love about all of this is the amount of socializing that I get to do. Plus, I love staying busy; it keeps my mind off of food.

In addition to eating better and being more active, I’m finding that education is one of the best things you can do in your struggle. My friends have been great at sharing, so I’m going to keep the momentum going and share it right back!

Here are some of the things that people have been recommending:

The Four Hour Body. I’ve heard about this from a few people. Here’s the website to learn more: http://fourhourbody.com.

My friend Jason Brown sent me these two podcasts. http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/chris-kresser

http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/robb-wolf

My wife Keya turned me on to the Minimalist Baker, who specializes in simple, healthy cuisine: http://minimalistbaker.com

As we all know, there’s so much information out there, that sometimes it tends to contradict itself. I’m certainly no expert on any of this...if anything, I’m the exact opposite. My thing is that I am just sharing the same stuff that everyone was so kind to share with me. Also, I’d like to mention that this is all 100% opinion, and whatever I’m saying is only applicable to myself. What I think is right or wrong for me may or may not be right or wrong for anyone else. That’s why I want to share everything. Even if I don’t subscribe to it, I don’t think anything that is designed to help someone is wrong. It’s like a pair of jeans. I may not like the way they fit on me, but on someone else, they may look great.

That’s all for now. Thank you so much for being a part of this. If you know anyone who is in the struggle, let them know that they’re not in it alone. Trust me, it helps so so much. Peace out.

[kidgratitude]

When You’ve Got So Much To Say.

A few days ago, I began down a path that I have started on too many times. It’s that journey that begins when we tell ourselves that we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We’re going to give up the bad food, and embrace proper eating and exercise. Then about three to six weeks later, we’ve gone right back to square one.

So what makes this journey any different?

The difference is that this time, it’s not me. It’s us. We’re a team now. Me and you. You and I. We’re high-fiving each other at the peaks, and helping each other push through the valleys. I can’t do this without you...or at least, I don’t want to do it without you. This journey is our journey.

If you don’t know about me, let me give you the nickel tour. I’m a professional stand up comedian, and I’ve been overweight damn near my whole adult life. Recently, my wife and I went to an outdoor yoga class, where she took a picture of me. As with most pictures of me, I couldn’t stand what I saw. After about a week of being disgusted, I decided I had to do something about it. Not only that, but I realized that it was finally time to come out of what I called the “Fat Guy Closet”. I needed to admit to everyone, including myself, that I was overweight, and that instead of closing myself off from everybody, I was willing to share my struggle with the world. I posted that picture on Instagram and Facebook, along with a lengthy post, saying all the things that up until now I was afraid to say. After about a ten-minute internal battle, I pushed the “Share” button, and put my call for help out into the universe.    

At that moment, it all changed. Initially, when I made the decision to post on social media, I expected that I would get a few “likes” and maybe some comments from friends wishing me luck. What I got was so much more. It was like this avalanche of support. Hundreds of people were wishing me well, and letting me know that they were in my corner. Friends from all over were letting me know that I could count on them if need be. I got  private messages from people, some of whom I barely knew, telling me their stories. The way they saw it, if I could bare my soul, then they could too. I got advice, motivation, encouragement, and love. Lots and lots of love.

In the midst of all the comments and messages, I noticed a few people who were telling me that if I ever needed a progress buddy, or a workout buddy, or just someone to walk with, then they’d do it. Now, before this, I would have said something like “No, thank you. This is something that I’ve got to do on my own,” or some sort of macho bullshit like that. But the fact was, I put that post out there because I needed help. And when I had people responding who were telling me they were going through the same thing, I figured that maybe they needed help too. So I did a 180, and said yes. You want a workout buddy? You got one! You need a progress buddy? That’s me! Whatever it is, I’m in! As of right now, I’ve got about ten people who I’m making plans with to go for a walk. I’ve got friends who are aerobics instructors, dance instructors, and martial arts instructors inviting me to their classes. People who before I would have never thought about being in touch with have stepped forward to join me in my journey...which has now become our journey.

The best thing I’ve got going for me is a beautiful wife who, so far, has been by my side every step of the way. Before I was brave enough to put myself out there, she could see the pain that I was in, mainly because it had become her pain as well. See, there’s a difference between leaning on someone for support, and smothering them with the weight of your issues. I had been doing the latter, and it got to a point where she could no longer stand it. All along, she had been trying to show me that to be a team player, you have to be well enough to give your all for the team. Unfortunately, my way of thinking was to not bother anyone else with my problems, and try to do everything on my own. What I’ve learned is that by keeping things bottled up, you’re not helping anyone. Instead, you’re just hurting those who are reaching out. In my efforts to be strong and silent, I discovered that I was only silent. To be brutally honest, I’ve caused her a whole lot of unnecessary anguish, and only time will tell if we can repair the damage that’s been done. I’m thankful that she’s chosen to stand beside me.

So with her support, and all of my friends, and everyone on social media, I had this unbelievable amount of energy coming my way. Wouldn’t it be cool, I thought, if we took this energy and kept it moving? I figured that by adding momentum, everybody wins. Again, I put the call out, and something that kept coming back to me was to create a blog. I didn’t know what form this “blog” would take, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that concerned. What I did know is that I wanted to gather all the advice, and all the resources that I was so lucky to receive, and share it with everyone. I wanted to take all the positivity coming my way and send it to someone else.

Also, I needed a cool blogger name.

I wanted something catchy, but then decided that trying to be catchy might take away from the overall objective (which is my way of saying “I couldn’t think of anything catchy.”) Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big music lover, and that one of my favorite groups is the Beastie Boys. I was mentally filing through their catalog, seeing if anything would fit. At the same time, I was trying to think of what exactly I wanted to say. That it isn’t about losing weight, and to some extent, it really isn’t about me. It’s about the community, and how grateful I am that when I needed help, someone was there for me. The bottom line, at the end of the day, I wanted a name that would convey the gratitude that I felt. And there it was. Gratitude.

Introducing...Kid Gratitude.