When You’ve Got So Much To Say.
A few days ago, I began down a path that I have started on too many times. It’s that journey that begins when we tell ourselves that we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We’re going to give up the bad food, and embrace proper eating and exercise. Then about three to six weeks later, we’ve gone right back to square one.
So what makes this journey any different?
The difference is that this time, it’s not me. It’s us. We’re a team now. Me and you. You and I. We’re high-fiving each other at the peaks, and helping each other push through the valleys. I can’t do this without you...or at least, I don’t want to do it without you. This journey is our journey.
If you don’t know about me, let me give you the nickel tour. I’m a professional stand up comedian, and I’ve been overweight damn near my whole adult life. Recently, my wife and I went to an outdoor yoga class, where she took a picture of me. As with most pictures of me, I couldn’t stand what I saw. After about a week of being disgusted, I decided I had to do something about it. Not only that, but I realized that it was finally time to come out of what I called the “Fat Guy Closet”. I needed to admit to everyone, including myself, that I was overweight, and that instead of closing myself off from everybody, I was willing to share my struggle with the world. I posted that picture on Instagram and Facebook, along with a lengthy post, saying all the things that up until now I was afraid to say. After about a ten-minute internal battle, I pushed the “Share” button, and put my call for help out into the universe.  Â
At that moment, it all changed. Initially, when I made the decision to post on social media, I expected that I would get a few “likes” and maybe some comments from friends wishing me luck. What I got was so much more. It was like this avalanche of support. Hundreds of people were wishing me well, and letting me know that they were in my corner. Friends from all over were letting me know that I could count on them if need be. I got  private messages from people, some of whom I barely knew, telling me their stories. The way they saw it, if I could bare my soul, then they could too. I got advice, motivation, encouragement, and love. Lots and lots of love.
In the midst of all the comments and messages, I noticed a few people who were telling me that if I ever needed a progress buddy, or a workout buddy, or just someone to walk with, then they’d do it. Now, before this, I would have said something like “No, thank you. This is something that I’ve got to do on my own,” or some sort of macho bullshit like that. But the fact was, I put that post out there because I needed help. And when I had people responding who were telling me they were going through the same thing, I figured that maybe they needed help too. So I did a 180, and said yes. You want a workout buddy? You got one! You need a progress buddy? That’s me! Whatever it is, I’m in! As of right now, I’ve got about ten people who I’m making plans with to go for a walk. I’ve got friends who are aerobics instructors, dance instructors, and martial arts instructors inviting me to their classes. People who before I would have never thought about being in touch with have stepped forward to join me in my journey...which has now become our journey.
The best thing I’ve got going for me is a beautiful wife who, so far, has been by my side every step of the way. Before I was brave enough to put myself out there, she could see the pain that I was in, mainly because it had become her pain as well. See, there’s a difference between leaning on someone for support, and smothering them with the weight of your issues. I had been doing the latter, and it got to a point where she could no longer stand it. All along, she had been trying to show me that to be a team player, you have to be well enough to give your all for the team. Unfortunately, my way of thinking was to not bother anyone else with my problems, and try to do everything on my own. What I’ve learned is that by keeping things bottled up, you’re not helping anyone. Instead, you’re just hurting those who are reaching out. In my efforts to be strong and silent, I discovered that I was only silent. To be brutally honest, I’ve caused her a whole lot of unnecessary anguish, and only time will tell if we can repair the damage that’s been done. I’m thankful that she’s chosen to stand beside me.
So with her support, and all of my friends, and everyone on social media, I had this unbelievable amount of energy coming my way. Wouldn’t it be cool, I thought, if we took this energy and kept it moving? I figured that by adding momentum, everybody wins. Again, I put the call out, and something that kept coming back to me was to create a blog. I didn’t know what form this “blog” would take, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that concerned. What I did know is that I wanted to gather all the advice, and all the resources that I was so lucky to receive, and share it with everyone. I wanted to take all the positivity coming my way and send it to someone else.
Also, I needed a cool blogger name.
I wanted something catchy, but then decided that trying to be catchy might take away from the overall objective (which is my way of saying “I couldn’t think of anything catchy.”) Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big music lover, and that one of my favorite groups is the Beastie Boys. I was mentally filing through their catalog, seeing if anything would fit. At the same time, I was trying to think of what exactly I wanted to say. That it isn’t about losing weight, and to some extent, it really isn’t about me. It’s about the community, and how grateful I am that when I needed help, someone was there for me. The bottom line, at the end of the day, I wanted a name that would convey the gratitude that I felt. And there it was. Gratitude.
Introducing...Kid Gratitude.