Kids are weird, man

Parenting is haaard. I need to remember the good bits.

[kidsareweirdman]

[playing Lego]

3 yo: The robber has stolen the lady's legs!!

[kidsareweirdman]

6 yo: Mummy can we get some new Lego?

Me: You only just got some!

6: I know, but I want some more now.

Me: You better earn some money then.

6: (thinking)

6: I better lose some more teeth!

[kidsareweirdman]

6 yo: Who's the prime minister?

Me: Boris Johnson

6 : No he's NOT!

Me: Oh?

6 : He broke the law! He can't be the prime minister!

Me:

Can we please round this up now so I don't have to keep explaining to my autistic son why the prime minister is not subject to the law like the rest of us 😭

[kidsareweirdman]

There's nothing quite like having your toddler sitting on your lap when they are clearly trying to push out a poo :-|

*scrunched up face*

[kidsareweirdman]

4 yo: [sneezes, puts hand over his mouth]

Me: Oh well done darling, thank you for putting your hand ov-

4 yo: [wipes hand on my (bare) arm]

[kidsareweirdman]

You know you're winning at parenting when your kids are dressed entirely in clothes fresh off the airer

They didn't even make it to the laundry basket

[anxietyproblem]

[kidsareweirdman]

Full house!

[kidsareweirdman]

It's raining, it's pouring

Me: Signs "rain" to 1 yo

4 yo to 1 yo: It's raining! *signs "rain"*

Me to 1 yo: Can you show me "rain"?

1 yo: *points out of the window*

[kidsareweirdman]

Today's Google search: "How much soap is it safe for a baby to eat?"

[kidsareweirdman]

At first this was cute. Now I'm not so sure.

EDIT: As has been pointed out by my brother and several reblogs, the correct caption to this is

Phone... Home...

[kidsareweirdman]

Torture is watching Disney films and being forbidden by your 4 yo to sing along to the songs. MUMMY STOP SINGING

[30-minute-memes]

Me_irl

[kidsareweirdman]

The answer is "kinda"

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kidsareweirdman]

Meirl 🙈

[kidsareweirdman]

I love how kids have precisely zero common sense, like "muuuummm! I turned the tap on and now there's water coming out!!!"

Well, TURN IT OFF THEN!!!

[kidsareweirdman]

Yup. Yup I do.

[kidsareweirdman]

Shenanigans, I say.

[kidsareweirdman]

Hands down, this is my favourite thing my son has ever brought home from nursery.

WHY SO SAD