big woman in a little world

@kiefbowl

does not answer asks and anons in timely manner, I'm not on tiktok, 30s, bi, chicago

98.8K posts

happy pride :)

also, one of the exhausting things about discussing domestic violence is that of course so many people can concede lip service that it's "bad" etc. but what's revealing about how little they care, or that they don't prioritize it, or that they really do hold beliefs that women are meant to be abused is that they often are not ready to discuss what is the most common pattern of abuse, and that is escalation. the end point of that escalation is murder. it's like...I'm not going to be cowed into thinking this is an intellectual question, or that I'm just interested in some sort of ideological project. I can look people in the eye and ask them "do you care when women are murdered?" and I don't feel conflicted about it. women are murdered. Women are murdered! when men get away with one punch, they start getting away with two. on and on. I think it's an emergency when women are punched. I don't care what anyone's beliefs are at that point. men are allowed to be our judge, jury, and executioner? at their own whims? why am I supposed to sit comfortably with that.

But do you believe trans women are women and do you respect their chosen pronouns?

I know that trans women are biologically male, which is not a moral or value judgement, but a material fact that is significant politically.

I don't think it's possible to respect or disrespect pronouns. Politically speaking, I think it was a very savvy and genius move on trans rights activists to center the conversation on pronouns, as it focuses on a language issue that both seems inane and easy to comply, but in reality is nonsensical in a linguistical sense that most people aren't necessarily literate on. I don't spend a lot of time being vigilant either way or policing myself or others. I don't think I'm wrong to call trans women "he" or "she", and I spend 0 amount of time punishing myself either way. I think you can learn to make yourself anxious over pronouns especially if you think you "must" or "should", and I think that's an easy way to be unhealthily fixated on something that can have long reaching consequences for your mental health when that space is better used to further your life goals and focus on your sense of character and convictions, or education and hobbies, etc.

You can look at this recent anon I got if you want more info about my opinions on "correct pronouns."

I fixed it but I had a little fruedian slip in that last reblog. I said "husband beaters" instead of "wife beaters" lol. at least one person reblogged it like that which is fun

tell me your favorite shitty lyrics

#only made this 3 days ago and I've been on tumblr for one hundred years and this is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts lmao #expect it to be reblogged often

I saw a bumper sticker and thought “is that seductive Daffy Duck” and then when I looked closer I realized it was actually a fishing bumper sticker but also. also it is still very much seductive Daffy Duck???? somehow????????

many people clearly believe that for the benefit of the community, women must simply absorb male violence. that it's their role in the community. that men are the community, and his violence needs to go somewhere acceptable. and the acceptable place is at her.

this is why a lot of prison abolitionists aren't very motivated by the existence of domestic violence. to many of them, it's worth women taking on the violence. or, if it's women outside of whichever community they're interested in, then it's a big "who cares." That's not our business. Wallstreet guys can beat their wives, policemen can beat their wives, mailmen can beat their wives, drug dealers can beat their wives, artists can beat their wives, teachers can beat their wives, disabled men can beat their wives, clergymen can beat their wives, war vets can beat their wives, and it's all the same. Wives are inherently beatable.

do wife beaters usually end up in prison?

I'm sure you think this is a gotcha. Sometimes they do. In any case, the reason why they don't when they don't is related to the same reason why many people want women to simply absorb male violence. Which is that, in their mind, wives are inherently beatable. I'm not interested in talking to you if you don't really care about domestic violence, only "winning" a debate with me, so consider any response carefully. I'm happy to ignore you.

okay, so you are arguing against prison abolition, because you are suggesting that it minimizes the punishment domestic abusers get

i am pointing out that *domestic abusers do not end up in prison* wife beaters do not end up in prison. most rapists do not end up in prison

your points are completely unrelated to prison abolition. i agree with you that women are expected to absorb male violence - which means that the system as designed does not often apply legal consequences - IE PRISON - to men who harm women. prison is functionally broken and in the U.S. primarily exists as a tool to enslave black men for petty drug and property crimes

that last bit is utter nonsense, and just an excuse for you to ignore my actual arguments as you continue to pretend to be a feminist while spouting right wing propaganda. of course TERFs love ignoring arguments they can’t counter

"okay, so you are arguing against prison abolition" I did not make that claim here.

"because you are suggesting that it minimizes the punishment domestic abusers get" I did not make that claim here.

I pointed out that people expect women to absorb male violence for their community, then made an additional observation that prison abolitionists are not motivated by domestic violence because of this

"am pointing out that domestic abusers do not end up in prison wife beaters do not end up in prison. most rapists do not end up in prison" statistically, no they don't, you're correct. that doesn't mean they never do. I'm not sure why you'd assume I did not know this, or was not sympathetic to this, since I'm only making this post because of my concern for domestic violence. perhaps it's because you assumed this post was more about making a claim about prison abolition in total, rather than musing about what is socially accepted about violence towards women in general. but now I have pointed it out to you, hopefully you can read my original posts with good faith understanding.

"your points are completely unrelated to prison abolition" you will have to explain which points

"i agree with you that women are expected to absorb male violence" and yet, for some reason, you come on this post looking to debate in bad faith. it's disheartening.

"which means that the system as designed does not often apply legal consequences - IE PRISON - to men who harm women" this is a very simplistic view of the legal system. The legal system is the framework in order to enact the rule of law. It fails because it does not exist in a vacuum, and succeeds because it has function and purpose. People are put into prison for many reasons, and prisons cause human misery and harm at a scale that is detrimental to many communities. You can just ask me if I already know that, I'm happy to tell you that I'm not a fan of prisons.

"prison is functionally broken and in the U.S. primarily exists as a tool to enslave black men for petty drug and property crimes" It is a tool used to enact systematic injustice that already exists, yes. All systems will be used by the oppressive class by any means possible to uphold the very oppressive systems they gain power from. Why does that mean that I cannot evoke ways prison abolitionists might have blind spots in their philosophies, I'm not sure. Systematic racism exists, as does systematic misogyny. You said so yourself, most wife beaters don't end up in prison for their domestic abuse. We seem to agree. So, this is a complex question. How should prison be abolished, must it be abolished, can it be reformed, if it exists how is it used to uphold justice...etc. Big questions. My musings on this post are from the vantage of: do people care that women are beaten? I think that's a fair question.

"that last bit is utter nonsense" no, you're just mad that I'm fine calling you out on low effort, bad faith questions

"and just an excuse for you to ignore my actual arguments" you made zero arguements, you asked one leading question. this is how I was able to call you out on your bad faith. Make an argument in good faith next time if you're genuinely interested in discussing with me respectfully to me and to the topic.

"as you continue to pretend to be a feminist while spouting right wing propaganda" nothing I said in this post is right wing propaganda.

"of course TERFs love ignoring arguments they can’t counter" yep, describes me perfectly.

are any of you following the perpetual stew guy on youtube? I am. I check in every once in awhile but not every day. it's like my favorite brand of internet weird

okay I feel like I buried the lede here, cause it's actually a very interesting little project. He's on day 424. You can watch here: @ZAQ_Makes. He's got a funny affect in his videos that make it not boring. idk I just like it, he's just trying to preserve knowledge about this kind of cooking strategy because he realized her couldn't find much about it when researching it for fun. and he's stuck with it. and the stew crew in the comments are a menace in a fun way so...ymmv but I think some of you would enjoy this lol

many people clearly believe that for the benefit of the community, women must simply absorb male violence. that it's their role in the community. that men are the community, and his violence needs to go somewhere acceptable. and the acceptable place is at her.

this is why a lot of prison abolitionists aren't very motivated by the existence of domestic violence. to many of them, it's worth women taking on the violence. or, if it's women outside of whichever community they're interested in, then it's a big "who cares." That's not our business. Wallstreet guys can beat their wives, policemen can beat their wives, mailmen can beat their wives, drug dealers can beat their wives, artists can beat their wives, teachers can beat their wives, disabled men can beat their wives, clergymen can beat their wives, war vets can beat their wives, and it's all the same. Wives are inherently beatable.

do wife beaters usually end up in prison?

I'm sure you think this is a gotcha. Sometimes they do. In any case, the reason why they don't when they don't is related to the same reason why many people want women to simply absorb male violence. Which is that, in their mind, wives are inherently beatable. I'm not interested in talking to you if you don't really care about domestic violence, only "winning" a debate with me, so consider any response carefully. I'm happy to ignore you.

many people clearly believe that for the benefit of the community, women must simply absorb male violence. that it's their role in the community. that men are the community, and his violence needs to go somewhere acceptable. and the acceptable place is at her.

this is why a lot of prison abolitionists aren't very motivated by the existence of domestic violence. to many of them, it's worth women taking on the violence. or, if it's women outside of whichever community they're interested in, then it's a big "who cares." That's not our business. Wallstreet guys can beat their wives, policemen can beat their wives, mailmen can beat their wives, drug dealers can beat their wives, artists can beat their wives, teachers can beat their wives, disabled men can beat their wives, clergymen can beat their wives, war vets can beat their wives, and it's all the same. Wives are inherently beatable.

popsicleinferno

let’s get on mama’s last nerve

many people clearly believe that for the benefit of the community, women must simply absorb male violence. that it's their role in the community. that men are the community, and his violence needs to go somewhere acceptable. and the acceptable place is at her.

I could be a good writer if my chosen medium wasn't 45-1000 word contextless vignettes. like I just want to write weird little scenes and then fuck off.

does anyone want to publish my endless writing exercises for my profit? anyone? okay no worries

I could be a good writer if my chosen medium wasn't 45-1000 word contextless vignettes. like I just want to write weird little scenes and then fuck off.

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

I should leave work early to go buy a vibrator

are any of you following the perpetual stew guy on youtube? I am. I check in every once in awhile but not every day. it's like my favorite brand of internet weird

big woman in a little world @kiefbowl - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag