ʀᴇ ᴜᴘ !

tell me did you find what you're looking for, since you walked out t h a t door you want it all back from me you're R U N N I N G right back to me ( you ) want it all back cause you're alone.

[kiicn-blog]

sovereiqns‌:

            feeling kian hug her back is exactly what she needs, a much needed sign that their friendship is in fact okay and not going anywhere any time soon. she takes a deep breath and forces herself to stop crying, squeezes her eyes shut once more to get out any last tears. crying — or showing any kind of vulnerability, really — is completely new to her, even around kian. she’s never been so open, normally hating the idea of appearing weak or dependent on anyone. as they pull apart, she permits him to wipe her tears for her, eyes avoiding his until the tears are completely gone. it’s humiliating knowing she’s practically just had a breakdown in front of him, no part of her ever wanting to be a burden on kian. her eyes finally come up to meet his, relieved to find him smiling down at her even if she can’t bring herself to offer one back. “ god, that was so embarrassing, ” she sniffles, clearing her throat, “ tell anyone about that and i’ll break your dick as soon as it heals, okay ? ” soojin takes both of his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers and looking down at them as she lets out a shaky breath. “ i missed you. ” it’s quiet enough that only he could hear it if anyone else was in the room and her eyes are, once again, unable to meet his.

pain tugged at his heart, not because of anything but only in sight of seeing soojin as a mess. this wasn’t a common sight for either of them, he was used to the front she’d put up and him trying to tear it down for a little reassurance and yes, there were time he got it but seeing her cheeks stained with an abundance of tears wasn’t settling right. it hurt to see, as always seeing someone you love hurting in front of you is. he pouts as she looks back at him, “who would i tell, and why would i want to brag? oh hey, soojin broke down in a hospital let’s all form a soojin has feelings club and start noting when she’s becoming more human.” kian attempted to lighten the atmosphere with a joke. “please don’t hurt my dick, i would like to use it again.” he pulls his hands out of hers and pulls her into a tight hug. he engulfs her entire being with his arms, holding her close with his arms wrapped tightly around her. “i missed your ugly ass too.” he speaks back quietly, “let me catch your dumbass go to ibiza again, without me by the way, and i’ll burn your clothes.”

[kiicn-blog]

rorydays‌:

            she shuffles back slightly when he winces, hoping some distance between herself and his injury would cause less pain. pouting once he tells her hes still a cast she outs a deflated groan, resting her face in her hands. “ truthfully ? i was hoping to come and rile you up. tease you a bit since its been a while since you got any action so i could watch you suffer and then leave.. my plans are ruined. ” theres a truth to her words, despite the playful grin on her face. they’d been going back and forth over them doing something of a sexual nature together for a while now and with her usual chaotic nature back in tact, she couldn’t think of a better time. “ but i’m here mostly because i missed you. ” she places a soft kiss on his cheek and shuffles forward again, letting her head rest on his shoulder. “ spoke to my mom, too. that didn’t go well. figured the kian cure was what i needed. ”

“dude what the fuck...” kian’s face scrunches up in confusion, “you would justlet me want something and then dip, right in front of me? after i’ve been out of using this dick for nearly a week? first you break it and then you break my HEART?” kian’s teeth clicked, “thought we were more than that. i deserve head at least once.” he reaches over to pinch her nose before allowing to fall back at her side. “oh, that’s romantic. i love kisses.” he turns his head and moves forward to brush his nose against her cheek but pauses in his movement when he heard about her mom. kian sits back again, “what’d she say.” the playful tone drops as it falls serious.

[kiicn-blog]

evcrlong‌:

          vera expected a proper apology tonight. she had mixed emotions running through her. she ( for some odd reason ) really wanted to see kian, but was still upset over him blowing her off the one night. she felt dumb for sharing her feelings with him and then the next day him just not being so kind towards her. it’s one of the things she feared. she stood at the foyer waiting for him, surprised that he was actually taking longer than once. she walked around, staring at the design of the house because there wasn’t much else for her to do in the moment. as soon as she heard kians footsteps she turned around to look at him, mostly his outfit to make sure he was dressed nice, because of course she was. she kept her demeanor cool and collected though it was a way different feeling inside, mostly all over the place. she walked up to him, the sound of her heels echoing in the house. “no, i don’t push my friends away at random for absolutely no reason,” her words were bitter, and with a shrug following them, “is your driver taking us?”

her words hit harder than he expected it to. with his lips pursed, he nodded in agreement even though he didn’t really consider them friends to begin with so the words off affirmation touched him. “i was going through things,” he held up his hands in defense, “not an excuse but i really was.” he pulls out his phone to tap away for the arranged ride, “no we’re taking a taxi.” he looks up from the screen with a coyish grin: the point was to play his own game, she wouldn’t anything less than a limo pulling up or any car service that wasn’t a taxi. kian’s eyes lingered on her figure outlined by her outfit. they lingered a bit too long that he didn’t realize that the actual car service he ordered was blowing up his phone. he snaps out of the trance and walks ahead to open the door to a sleek black car waiting on the curb, “wow look at that taxi.”

[kiicn-blog]

his rudeness last week wasn’t going unnoticed, he visibly hurt the girl. even when she showed up to explain herself and he saw it in her eyes compared to the dismissal of her emotion’s prior to the deeper talk they had that one night. he was beginning to see vera in a whole new light and he was slightly scared of this new chapter. he did the absolute most to avoid any feelings and any stray thoughts that would lead him to think otherwise. vera is a friend, a friend that he likes to have sex with once in a while and THAT was it. he shed the crutches, his cast was replaced with something else that kept his pants from rubbing against the wound. he was just glad he could walk again. so he took another shot, making up for the rudeness. he was going to treat her out. kian texted her earlier to meet him in the foyer of the house he was at. he leaves his room, well dressed from head to toe, groomed for the first time in forever (lord knows this woman valued luxury far more than him). he meets her in the foyer, heart pacing faster than usual upon seeing her. kian pinched the side of his thigh before greeting her, “surprised you showed up now that my cast is off and all, thought the sympathy friendship would have ended with it.” // @evcrlong

[kiicn-blog]

sovereiqns‌:

          the sound of his crutches being moved causes her to glance up at him. seeing the big grin on his face somehow only makes her feel worse. the fact that he’s so genuinely happy to see her despite her having abandoned him only serves as another reminder of how good of a person he is. most people would hold onto that grudge forever, with reason, and yet he doesn’t. she knows she’ll never stop feeling guilty for not having visited him despite how hurt he was. she can only imagine how he must have felt waiting around for her, only to find out the girl had left the country to party and do drugs for a week straight. knowing she hurt the only person she never wanted to is something she’ll carry with her for a long time. her eyes drop back down to look at her hands once more as he approaches her, her tears threatening to spill. she’s afraid to say anything to him and instead, opts to say nothing. she hesitantly closes the space between them, arms wrapping around his torso to hug him and she buries her face in his chest. her eyes squeeze shut but that doesn’t stop the silent tears that slide down her cheeks now, an unstoppable wave of emotion coming over her as she realizes how much she missed her best friend. she manages to choke out an i’m sorry, her voice quiet yet full of emotion.

         kian had always had problems forgiving in the right way: his habits were never healthy. he would talk game but never follow through. he’d talk about the problems straight to a person’s face, listing XYZ of what they have done wrong and how they should reflect upon it. he never forgets though, he’ll bring it up until it consumes his entire being and forces himself to cut the person off. his toxic patterns were evident in the on and off patterns he exhibited with his ex two months ago: sleeping, fighting and repeat. but he would never apply any of those habits to soojin, no, never. he almost wanted to throw away the crutches, endure the pain because she was at least  H E R E. his loyalty to soojin was unparalleled because she had actually never done anything truly deserving of a toxic version of him. he understood her habits of toxicity as if they were his own. as she threw her arms around him, he lets the crutches fall away to embrace in her a tight hug. as tight as he could make it. “it’s okay i forgive you.” soojin’s display of emotion’s was foreign, she was tough in nature but in reality she was softer than what most people would expect. her hardshell wasn’t so hard once he took a crack at it. he nuzzles his face against her shoulder with his hand slowly rubbing her back in circles. “it’s okay,” he repeats again, lighter in tone as he moves back to look at her tear stained face. he meets her sad gaze with a smile and wiped her tears for her. “listen, i’m not mad. i’m just happy you’re here.”

[kiicn-blog]

▐ ⦙ ❛ imessage to: ❪ kiki ❫

jay: rest in peace little kiki 😔💯

jay: did you piss her off?

jay: oh my god what if i'm next

kian: thanks dude :/ keep my dick in ur prayers

kian: LMAO

kian: yeah? don't you know? if you steal her stash she comes int he middle of the night to hit u with a bat so ...

[kiicn-blog]

sms ↷  ♡ kian.♡

madelyn: assssk a nurse to bring uuuuu

madelyn: i'll take TWO

kian: noo i'm home now and you can drink on hard drugs...

kian: ok maybe u can

kian: but i dont wanna risk

kian: wow you're so kind to me

[rorydays-blog]

                   there was no better cure for family drama and a cocaine come down than kian. she’d spent nearly every day with him in the hospital but since he’d gotten out she’d been awfully distracted by explosions in every aspect of her life. deciding she missed him too much and that she could no longer handle the pain of not being around him anymore, rory was currently heading for the males room ; deciding against knocking once she got there. once inside the room she drops her coat and bag to the floor, bee lining for the bed which the male currently occupied before shes jumping on top of him, taking a seat on the males thighs with her legs at either side, being extra careful to not cause him any discomfort. “ hey, baby. hows our little man doing ? ”   /   @kiicn

[kiicn-blog]

                the pain was almost absent, except for a few ghost pains here and there but kian was told it was in his mind. from the boy but he was almost back to normal. the doctor did call in to mention the cast would be off soon and he could go back to living normally soon. the boy didn’t need crutches anymore but having to walk around with something as hard as a cast between your legs is worse than actually being ... hard. he flipped through pages of information about the oxy sitting on his nightstand before he was met with an eager friend. he cries out in faux pain, “ow..” he glances up at the female straddling him, “i think you broke me again.” kian teases before leaning back against the pillow with a smile gracing his features, “kidding, it’s better i would say. i just want the cast off, i can’t imagine how ugly it looks.” kian glances down at his jeans and frowns, “what brings you here?”

[kiicn-blog]

▐ ⦙ ❛ imessage to: ❪ kiki ❫

jay: FOREVER? WHAT HAPPENED?

kian: bitch i HOPE not

kian: rory broke my dick :(

[kiicn-blog]

sms ↷  ♡ everyone ♡

madelyn: heyyeyeyyeyyyyy

madelyn: come to le living room

madelyn: BEST CLUB EVERRRRRRR

madelyn: 7 Avenue des Spélugues

madelyn: t hats the address

madelyn: no is NOT an option babayyyyyy

kian: man.. what a sad tease

kian: wanna take a shot in my honor

[sovereiqns-deactivated20200810]

@kiicn / closed.

          it’s been a rocky week for kian and soojin to say the least. aside from the usual bickering that she’s grown to love, the two have never had a fight. she’s aware that she might have overreacted over the whole broken penis incident but it came from a place of love. it was when they got into a real argument and he didn’t deny whether he cared about rory more that things took a turn for the worse. sensitive isn’t a word one would normally use to describe soojin but for some reason — and she knows the reason — that’d hurt more than she expected. spending the past week in ibiza to party away her issues and emotions over the whole situation had proven to be useless by the last night when she’d drunkenly texted kian about it. waking up and reading the messages caused the worst embarrassment she’s ever felt in her entire life, yet another feeling she isn’t used to. it was a relief to have him reassure her and to see that they’d both apologized and yet she couldn’t help but remain emotional over it. for a moment, she thought her and kian would never be back to normal. part of her still holds that fear as she lets out a deep breath, opening his hospital room door.

          seeing him after the fight is one thing, but seeing him in a hospital bed knowing she hasn’t been there for him is a whole other. nails dig into her palm as her eyes start to blur, trying to will herself not to cry and further humiliate herself. being emotional in front of kian isn’t something soojin’s embarrassed of, but being this vulnerable in front of anyone feels like a nightmare she can’t do anything to stop. she can’t bring herself to move from her spot by the door or even look at him, too afraid she may burst into tears the moment she touches him or opens her mouth to speak.

[kiicn-blog]

             it was one thing to be stuck in the hospital with a broken genital but it was another to be stuck there for three days with a broken heart. it was unlike anything he had felt. in the past, broken hearts came from girls who loved to toy with him and girls who took advantage of the kindness he brought into the world. those kinds of heartaches were easy to get over because love was an infinite feeling; love was practically everywhere. the heartache that stems from losing a best friend is like any other. having someone to come to whenever you had a problem, having someone to spend your nights without complications, having a person to share your troubles with was unbeatable. they spend most of their lives understanding you and vice versa, to be rid of them through any complication hurts: it was like losing a part of yourself that you’ve worked on through years with them. so when he and soojin fought, he was genuinely scared that he had lost her. soojin had her ways of coping and that was using escapism methods but he never thought he’d be the reason for one of them, no, never. soojin was his other half; she was part of him without him ever realizing it until he was deprived of her for the time he spent in the hospital.

                every face that walked through the door, whether it be a doctor, nurse or a PA - he was always on the lookout and hoping for one of the faces to be soojins but alas, it was never hers. not until he found she was still in ibiza, she had dipped and hadn’t come seen him once, even after the lecture of breaking his dick. he was angry, upset and above most he felt betrayed that she had gone without stopping to say as much as a hello. it wasn’t a serious injury, but for him, it mattered that she come. 

             then she confessed she was hurt and kian’s bubble shattered. him? hurting her? he couldn’t fathom the interaction had done such a number on their friendship and for her to leave the country. it didn’t change how he felt about how she left but softened up his heart a little bit that all she wanted was him to show her the same love and respect back. he was a fool for biting his tongue out of anger. he’s ready to go home and had been hoping for her face to pop in, he doesn’t bother looking up at the figure that stands at the door as he only assumed it was a medical official. he grabs his crutches to stand on and turns to see that it was soojin and he was filled with immense joy and couldn’t hide the smile on his face. his expressions have lightened up and he wobbles in his way over to her. “you came?” he couldn’t hide the shock in his voice, “hey, what’s wrong?” he dismisses the past few days of turmoil between them only to be glad that she came. that’s all that mattered.  

[kiicn-blog]

▐ ⦙ ❛ imessage to: ❪ name. ❫

jay: bro i've told you time and time again STOP sending me snapchats of your dick i DON'T wanna review them before you send them out!!

kian: wrong guy my dick broke

[kiicn-blog]

╰   ♡ .   ❪ imssg ❫  kian

soojin: i love you too

soojin: tomorrotw? i donktnow

soojin: i look liek shit

kian: ok and? since when have i ever cared, ive seen shit in ur hair at coachella while we both were dying in the field

[kiicn-blog]

╰   ♡ .   ❪ imssg ❫  kian

soojin: it just ddidnt feel htat way

soojin: iim sorry i weasnt there

soojin: i'lll come home soon

kian: get ur ass home so i can limp my way to you and let you kno how much i love you

kian: soon? no, i better see you when i get discharged tmrw

[kiicn-blog]

╰   ♡ .   ❪ imssg ❫  kian

soojin: you don'bt even listen to me

soojin: zi dont care if we fought but i asked yuo about rory i told you you care mlore and you didnt evemn deny it

soojin: how is thtat supposed xto make me feel

soojin: i'd do anythign i literally DO do anything for you andd you cvant even reassure me oncje because you're too busy yelling at me over someone elses relationship issues

soojin: it sounds stupid biut it isnt to me and you dont even care because i didnt show up once out of the five hundrred other times i have

kian: i always listen to you?

kian: why does it matter if i love someone more when you KNOW that isn't the case? i'm sorry i hurt your feelings by not reassuring you and i'm sorry i was mad bc u were being rude bout her

kian: you're so fucking stupid dude you know i would do anything for you if you asked me to, literally anything, and i do love you but idk it just hit a nerve to hear what happened and i should have just kept quiet but it hurt to hear and you were dismissing it in a way

kian: dude just come home to me, please

[kiicn-blog]

@sebrhee96: @kkang stay there freak

@kkang: @sebrhee96 are u five? lmao

[kiicn-blog]

╰   ♡ .   ❪ imssg ❫  kian

soojin: why ayre you beign tso tmean

soojin: ei dont wyanna talk

soojin: i dont wanna seee you yte

soojin: sad

kian: bc ur being mean to me?

kian: WHY what the hell did i even do to you

kian: you know vera came to visit, and stayed the night? which is unusual for that girl bc she lives to make me miserable

kian: but you couldn't? instead you're in ibiza getting drunk and high or wtvr sleeping with whoever and didn't come see me once, just dropped of my things, dropped a bomb on rory and just.. left?

kian: it should have been you, not vera staying with me. i thought we were in this forever but i didn't realize forever meant when we fought u decide to dip and not talk to me

kian: sorry for rambling. but just tell me what i did