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@kiinkyfuckery

"Speak when you are angry - you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret"

3,880 posts

I need to make out.. i dont care if its against a wall.. on a bed... on top of you... underneath you... on a fucking table at this point.

I need your legs around my waist.. biting your bottom lip.. kissing your neck.. you moaning in my ear whilst running my hands all over your body. I need you.

How im feeling right now is heavy like my feet are dragging behind me as im looking forward to the light.

Its so fucking close i can see it.. i can feel it.

I feel like everyone around me is being impacted with me zoning out constantly in my thoughts.

Thoughts of excitment, nervousness, anxious

My brain is going through every possible outcome is can make up the good the bad the just plain stupid

Its alot and its only going to get worst before it gets better i know this.. im sick of talking about it.. i bet everyone is sick of hearing it.

I feel like the last two weeks ive been so much in my thoughts im missing is my partber needs me instead of the other way around you know i feel like ive been neglecting her feelings.

I feel like im over analysing everything im doing, what others around me are doing and say just its fucked.

You know what i said to my partner the other day if she thought that i was holding her back from drugs doesnt that sound completely nuts!

And this morning on the way home want to know where my mind was at thinking that my girlfriend doesnt want me touching her or kissing her yet i said no to her touching me last night do you know how messed up that seems in my head at 5.30am , and i know i know all this is just my brain stressing out about others things and its just making me think of stupid shit but sometimes its exhausting and i cant fight every stupid thought.

I just need the next month to come and go as quick as possible i need this weight off me.

And i know everything is okay i know it is going to be okay and i know this is just apart of a big change and i havent experienced one of these in a awhile and unfortunately this is how i deal with it and everyone else around me can feel the effects.. i wish they didnt

I was talking with my partner the other day about getting a tattoo covered up. She asked me why i would consider that because its apart of me, which granted she is right why would i? I got the tattoo because it represents a little part of who i am but when it comes down to it ive grown further past where i was when i got this tattoo to where i am now to where i want to be later in life.

Just because im covering it up im not taking away from who i am or why i got it no no, see im adding another part to my chapter. I can still show a little part of who i am in a i guess you could say less ranchy way but it isnt taking away who i am i still know inside, i still know underneath.

I just want to beable to all of me for the women i love infront of her family without offending but not being anyless of who i am if that makes sense, i want to beable to pursue my career path without the wonder oh god is this going to affect whether i get it or not.

My girl knows who i am as a person and ill never be anything less but for me this, this is my chance to grow bigger with a little thing hindering my chances of that i want the best for me, for her, for us.

So what if its a little less r and more pg13 i know what it means and that brings me just as much joy as the day i got the first one.

This isnt because i have to no see the difference is i want to.

Fuck you for treating her the way you did.

Fuck you for making her feel worthless.

Fuck you for making her feel less than you.

Fuck you for sucking the life out of her.

Fuck you for treating her with no respect.

Fuck you for showing zero dignity when it came to her.

Fuck you for using her for your own benefit.

Fuck you for tearing her mind apart.

Fuck you for stopping her from being who she truly is.

Fuck you for manipulating her.

Fuck you for risking her own health and safety.

Fuck you for putting your needs always above hers.

Fuck you for never filling her cup up.

Fuck you for always taking more than you gave.

Fuck you for being a selfish prick.

Fuck you for everything you ever did to her.

And finally fuck you from me i will never let you break this girl again. I will never let her be hurt the way you have hurt her again. I will never stop her from growing and having the success she deserves. I will always be by her side to support her and love her the way she needs to be. I will always make sure she is happy and her needs are met. I will always communicate and comprehend her point of view because her voice and her opinion is no less to my own.

So yes fuck you you dont get to hurt her anymore because i wont let you.

Baby words dont even begin to cover or convey what i want to say to you but here i am going to try my best.

Now yes its your birthday! Your 30th but honestly and i mean this you look younger then a 21 year old 😉. You have the energy of a rabbit bouncing around long grass and the calmness of a sloth the excitment of a spider monkey and the love of a puppy meeting its new family.

Your beautiful i cant stress that enough when your waking up in the morning sleep in your eyes drowl on your cheek squinting your eyes from the sunlight. When your sleepy barely audible voice soft cheekiness heavy eyes wrapped up in blankets like a toasty cinnamon bun. Work days you embracing your nudist ways and letting the natural beauty you have radiate.. to gettting all dolled up and getting ready to go out somewhere anywhere looking gorgeous as always.

You maybe a year older but now you get to start your 30s with an extra bounce in your step, a smile that is just as real as the love we have for each other. The glow that shines through you around you constantly influencing those that surround themselves in your presence, you lift people up baby without expecting or needing anything back in return. Having a happiness that cant be brought, faked or mimiced. You have a selfless attitude, a giving nature and beyond anything else so much love to share. In the way you act, talk and well just you basically doing you.

You may not like your birthday but i wanna celebrate the day you were born because without you there would be no us and i wouldnt have the opportunity to explore the love we have, the person your are, and witness the growth that is ahead of you. Your my bestfriend my soulmate and the only girl i wanna say the words "i do" too.

She is a weirdo she is a clown she is a sook she is majestic she is the light she is the patience she is a boss she is respectful she is loving she is a shithead she is a princess she is intelligent she is silly she is incredible she is sexy beyond reason she is beautiful with no doubt she is everything that is hard to find in one person but she is you she is my bestfriend she is my soulmate and she is my girl she is my partner she is the love of my life.

Hope you have a magical day yes i know your working but the night is yours and i cant wait to celebrate it with you and your family. I hope i can make it as special as possible for you because i just want you to have the best time with those who love you and too bad i wanna celebrate that!

I want you to take a moment to understand how proud i am of you and not just for the sake of saying it but for reasons that should not only make anyone proud but should also make you proud of how far you've come my love.

Finally ill stop my ramble of words... Happy birthday baby, i love you more than words shall say but i wanna spend more than a life time showing you. You changed my world and i only hope to change yours and make it as happy and beautiful as you've done to mine.

Tea... kisses... cuddles... special stuff and things.. a lifetime of adventures.. love.. hand in hand my beautiful girl forever and ever and always and then some... and then some more after that 💙

There's just something about how she works her facial expressions.. her movements.. her words into breaking me down.

Pushing the boundaries of what my mind and body can take pushing me past reality into a space that knows no bounds.. no limits.. no expectations for myself.

Setting me back to where my words turn into incoherent words with a mixture or moans and mumbles.. a few fucks here and there.

My mind mush to be mixed and moulded to what she wants. Where the filth others maybe offended by brings a sense of zero responsibility.. and a anguishing amount of pleasure throughout my body.. wettness between my legs.. the blood rushing within my body... needing to be fucked with no bounds by her.

Im her slut.. her worthless whore pathetically begging for more the property she can do whatever she likes with marking my body with her signature with her teeth indents.. flogger.. hand prints with a pink warm tint lining my face.

Hers shes in charge she has the responsibility of taking me to places i havent been and pushing my body to its limits and past.

Its addictive sometimes so much so i want to bring it on.. provoking my Mistress until i get what i want. Knowing that im going to be broken down till im nothing, hanging on every damand that she lays out infront of me wanting it like the last thing on the earth needing to be a goodgirl knowing goodgirls get rewarded with pleasure.

Euphoric... its that indescribably euphoric.

I know it's possible to love someone more than first time you realize what you have i real love. What I'm begining to come to realize that it's possible to fall deeper every day with little things they do.. say.. act even when they aren't doing anything at all.

It kind of sounds co dependent but it isn't.. your both more than capable of doing life without the other hold your hand the whole time but what I am saying tho you can do these things on your own you want the extra warmth.. laughs.. company.. like for example you have your Aircon on freezing and you go get rugged up under a fluffy blanket for extra.. I don't know what would my girlfriend say haha yeah that's right cozyness.

It's like that in a way its just adding to what's already there but it's not like filling a cup full of water for example there's a limit and when you hit that limit it's no longer holding it's over flowing.. no the more love I'm growing ever day for her is like vines running ramped throughout a rainforrest never ending everywhere in sight, I guess that's a good way of putting it the love at the start was a baby Vine.. waiting for the watering and sunlight that grows between you both and now it's still growing weaving it's way through around between my life the rainforrest and her life the sea. Our love is like that constantly growing and knowing that we both can function without the other but we couldn't imagine our lives without the other one.

When you start talking to someone there's this excitement to discover the new and unknown, blindly chasing feelings like they might disappear. Its fun.. its different.. for the first month or two and you usually start to work out what your looking to gain from this connection. Are they i just want to hit it and quit it.. i want to date this person to see where it goes.. or are you just yeah that was nice im done.. and in the very very odd weird strange unique situations do you see a future with them.

I guess thats why when that rare one happens you just keep it to yourself.. hoping your right.. fingers crossed tight.. not telling a soul in fear of being made fun of because thats the rarity to it. It doesnt happen for everyone some will remain alone.. some will have loads of relationship that fizzle out constantly.. some will be a one night stand that last a life time and some are without words you see those types are the ones that find you when you least expect it in the strangest ways at the right time and when you know you know.

I guess your thinking how could i possibly even speak on this, truth be told the last one happened to me.. this girl found me.

Its 1am and im laying here running wild with ny thoughts.. tho they all seem to head the same direction.

You..

Completely captivating.. yes captivating i know you wont understand what im talking about so let me explain it. Your eyes arent just brown nor green.. nope they are a exquisite mix of both one always stands out more then the other depending on how your feeling and if you look close enough you can see speckles of yellow that peep through.

You have this smile you do well actually im going to sound a little odd saying this but you have several different smiles but the one thats my favourite is where your trying to hold it back but you just cant and you see the moment of fuck in your mind like "i wasnt meant to do that" which makes the even bigger smile appear because its like your saying fuck it.

You have the most beautiful body ive ever seen now just wait a minute before you roll your eyes and just hear me out. You wont ever see yourself how i do but when i look at you and when i rest my hands against your skin moving along every curve.. scar.. stretch mark,, freckle, bruise,, that is only adding to your beautiful laying my lips against your body getting to discover every single spot that makes you shiver.. relax.. break out in goosebumps.. turns you on.. now not to throw myself under the bus but i shamelessly perv on you any chance i get. I know im usually responsible for the bruises on your neck chest ribs thighs but i really just cant help marking whats mine.

Your voice theres something calming in the way you speak and i know you are probably thinking ive completely lost the plot at this point but again bare with me. It brings me this comfort ive never felt before it calms me down and relaxs me instantly and has a safe feeling that is kinda mixed in with it.

I hear you in the shower... i walk in see you there you dont notice me straight away so i take my time admiring you princess.. when you do see me you smile. I want you "turn around and face the wall baby"

I walk inside the shower while you still against the wall running my hands down your sides.. around to your back my lips following closely behind.

Getting on my knees i spread your ass wide. I run my tongue from the back to the front watching your whole body shiver soon after. I place one hand as high as I can on your back pushing you against the wall harder watching your hands climb up the tiles as your back arches more.

I lean in again, I bring hand up and begin circle motions on your clit as I flick my tongue lightly around your asshole.. adding more pressure to my finger running around your clit i feel your body jolting under my touch..

Stopping.. i stand up and flip you around with both my hands slamming you back against the wall I grab your leg and place it around my waist...

I thrust two fingers deep into your pussy ABRUPTLY catching you off guard watching it break out across your face. Your arms wrap around my shoulders whilst i keep thrusting my fingers hard into you.. i tell you to reach down and rub your clit as i keep fucking you.. hearing you begging you cum i feel you tighten around my fingers. I tell you to cum and feel you drop against me.

I tell you to hold yourself up once youve calm down and drop back down onto my knees. I start running small circles around your clit with my tongue slowly building up the speed...eating you out harder and harder with every flick...

Gathering some of your wettness i bring one hand back to your ass hole running my finger around.. i slowly push in letting you relax as i go never slowly my movements of my tongue on your clit.

You finally relax enough for me to slide my finger in and out with ease so i decide to go harder on your clit i feel you start to drop again as you reach down and grab my hair holding my head harder against your clit.. you ask to cum.. so i let you... i feel you shake helping you ride it out i stand up holding you tight.

Once your okay i wash you gentle taking my time letting you completely relax from what just happen. I give you a kiss and tell you just how much i love you.

I wish I was going down on princess.. I'm craving it.

Can I just put you on the kitchen counter.. kiss and bite your thighs while I running my hands all over your skin?

Can I move my face closer and closer to your pussy and watch it in your eyes as it starts to drive you wild?

Can I hold your thighs open while I spit and split your lips apart with my tongue?

Can I slide my hands up your body and grab your breasts?

Can I slip a finger or two deep inside you while I flick my tongue back and forth across your clit?

Can I moan into you pussy so you can feel the vibrations from me enjoying the taste?

I just want to make you feel good and watch your body move with mine.. hearing you moan and whimper.. I'm craving it. I'm craving you princess.

I watch her eye's change.. deeper with depth, control, authority and most of all love.

Her face changes from soft to hard following the lead from her eye's.

I feel her soft delicate hand wrap around my neck with precision strength growing through her finger tips as she tightens quickly reducing my blood flow my air supply making me dazed staring into her eyes smiling pushing harder against her hand.

Memorised by her words coaching.. teasing.. willing.. demanding me following through my ears seeping into my mind like a fog that settles to turn my mind into hers completely taking my body with it.

Following her movements her words.. she makes my mind my body completely dependent and needing of what every she pleases.. whatever she wants... whatever she needs.. i am hers.. everything that i am becomes hers.

When she goes i reach for my collar because its my safety.. my comfort.. for me she is here with me always when its on or off but it's just that little bit more i need when i can't reach for her.

I can feel it... see it... hear it... the safety, the trust, the love.

Theres three things that account to when we think about things or how we are going to react or how we deal..

Your mind the place that holds the facts the logic the sense the clear black and white printed pages that can not be changed it is what it is.

Your heart the places that holds how you feel about something someone this often clouds the logic disperses grey ink throughout the black and whites pages.

Your gut the place we often ignore.. that feel that twists your insides up.. the feeling that is so tiny.. but think about it for a second think of every single time you've ignored your gut? Mmm just what i thought.

See i think your gut is a place where the mind and the heart make a mutual decision.. usually the right one actual i think its always the right one.

Ive noticed lately alot and i mean alot of people either focus so hard on the past and refuse to move forward.. they have set their sight so far in the future that they are no longer in the present.

For me the past has greatly impacted my life and how it is shaped right now in the present. My triumphs that i may have thought to be impossible to achieve. My losses that ripped at my soul and heart in vigorous amounts. My trauma that has shaped how i deal with, move past or how i nearly caused me to lose who i am as a person.

Now i cant forget any of that but i choose to move forward.. i choose to climb out of the darkest place ive ever laid my head and stand up. It didnt matter how many times i had to do it over and over again i still continued to rise.

Back to my point it makes no sense to me why people refuse to live in the present with what is happening now yes the past shaped you.. its apart of you always but it should never stop you. Those that live in the future why? Your present can change your path quicker than you realise and what are you left with than?

Its not worth wasting your life sitting in the past asking yourself why and it certainly is worth flicking to the end of a unwritten book to prepare for something that could change.

Embrace the present dont let it go to waster and be left wondering where did your life go.

In all this fuckery of 7billion people.. a world that constantly keeps moving ahead. Tell me how this is possible.

Her presence makes time stop.. were the only two moving in that moment. The way hers eyes lock with yours pupils becoming dialled as if shes being hunted.. becoming the willing prey.

The way her body reacts under my touch like bringing an open flame to play with ice melting as you close the gap.

The way i lose focus on the surroundings.. an instant blur.. mute the noise outside that isnt her heart racing as i trace her face with my hand.. feeling her follow the movements chasing a sensation that leaves a invisible trail.

The way i feel her kiss me back pack full of every emotion and feeling that lays in side her exploding with mine.. euphoric collision through a maze of wonder with no end insight.

The way her voice calms and excites me pumping adrenaline throughout my body whilst rippling a calmness within.

This is the closest I've come to putting a stop on time and the world around.

Daddys leaning against the wall watching you stare back at the mirror, looking at yourself. I walk over to you grab you by the hips. Taking your shirt off you i whisper "hands flat on the mirror and spread your legs"

I unclip your bra, drop your pants and undies in one swift motion to the ground... You shudder and your legs shake as i do it. Running my hands back up your legs moving to the inside of your thighs as i stand back up behind you.

I place one hand on your lower back as i grip your arse with the other. Pulling my hand back, i land one firm smack to your arse hearing you gasp.. making me growl encouraging me more. As i push harder on your back and landing the next smack to the other side you drop a low moan.. fuck.

Looking at you in the mirror a smile breaks out across my face as i see you looking back at me.. a deep blush spreads thoughout your cheeks.. "your sucha good princess for daddy". I bend down and look at the start of my work forming across your arse. I slowly rub across the marks before smacking your arse one last time earning a whimper from your mouth.

Getting on my knees to take a look at your glistening slit, I run my finger over pussy. You sqirm, and jolt side to side. I turn you around and prop you up on the counter.. before i even have a chance to take my first lick you push my head down.

Grabbing your legs i place them up on my shoulders pulling you closer to the edge of the counter.. i run my tongue up the length of you slit coming to rest on your clit. Placing one hand on the back of your arse grabbing.. the other pushing down into your hip as i pull you further into my face.

Adding my pressure to your clit moving my tongue back and forth across it.. i feel you start pulling at my hair making go a little faster. My tounge devouring your pussy with such force your trying to get out of my grip.

I drop your legs from my shoulders and move to slide two of my fingers in instantly tightening around them i start moving them in and out of you curling deep inside you adding a third unexpectedly. I reach up with my other hand and wrap it around your throat feeling the vibrations through my hand as you moan out.. making me tighten my grip a little more.

You reach up and place your hand on top of mine squeezing trying to find anything to hold into as i pick my past up pumping out of you. You struggle to make know your about to cum "cum for me princess" one more flick you collapse against the mirror. I help you ride it out letting go of you throat.

I stand and run a hand down your cheek, your laying there trying to get your breath back looking at you i smile and whisper...

"good girl princess daddy is very proud"

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