The Single Relationship

Blog dedicated to improving and maintaining stable relationships.

[lynne-win-deactivated20180202]

Will I Make You Happy?

It’s sounds like an extremely singular thought if we use this as a meter to define love and a relationship, but it is the most single important question we need to ask ourselves and our partners.

It’s not a matter of trying to live up to the expectations of the person we are with, but a matter of seeing if two individuals can blend seamlessly or not seamlessly together. 

You could be thinking that as long as you try to understand my partner and as long as you listen and communicate with my partner then you can make your partner happy.

False.

People can grow and learn together, but you cannot change who they are as a person. Their values, their approaches, their methods, their ideology, their beliefs, their goals. Granted with every relationship comes compromise, but you cannot compromise everything. You risk losing yourself, and you come out not knowing your partner more so than knowing them.

People need to ask “Will I make you happy” more.

Does my personality fit yours? Do my goals and visions align with you? Can I help your aspirations come to life? Can I support your thoughts and beliefs? Will I be able to understand you or would I need to constantly change how I am to make it work? Will I be able to go through every step and problem with you?

The company of an individual is great, but can the person in front of you yield the maximum utility for your life? 

“Will I make you happy” is such a simple question, but no one seems to ask themselves or the other person it. People seem to always place themselves in the “I can deal with it” box, but that inspires negativity towards the other person because people fail to see that the person in front of them cannot fit them as a whole. They begin to resent each other and blame each other for wrongdoings, but in reality, they were not honest about whether or not they could make the other happy.

Can you make the other person happy? Genuinely and with all the hard work that comes along with it? As simple as it is, being happy is the easiest way to measure if you are meant to be with that person.

[31women]

More Relationship Advice

Seek God first, and all shall be added onto you.

Maturity is determined by faith in God.

An educated man/woman will push you to be better.

Masturbation/ pornography will take away from your marriage sex life.

If you like someone, don’t lust for them, pray for them.

Looks aren’t enough, ever.

If you need validation for a relationship, seek counsel, not likes.

Forgiveness and prayer solve all misunderstanding.

Enjoy your youth and stop dating around.

Short-lived compliments are just that- short-lived.

Don’t pursue someone who treats you with no respect or regard.

Intimacy is more important than sex. Remember that.

Don’t sweat the petty stuff.

Be with someone who makes you a better Christian and human being.

Grudges weigh down relationships. Avoid them.

Don’t gossip about your partner.

Date, Court, and Marry intentionally.

Friendship is the best foundation for a good marriage.

Talk it out, always.

Flattery doesn’t make up for real communication. 

Part one is here.

[thelovelyloner]

A true relationship is two unperfect people refusing to give up on each other.

Unknown (via forever-and-alwayss)

[toknowrelationships]

Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

[toknowrelationships]

Destiny

  Love is the only destiny worth seeking.

A destiny, not a destination—love is the journey of the heart,

in quest of a sheltered sanctuary.

  Love is the only destiny worth seeking.

[eternalblyss]

A boyfriend can not complete you.

A husband can not complete you.

Only God can.

A man can not love you more than God loves you right now.

Just keep that in mind.

[swimmertkesh-deactivated2019051]

The perfect person for you is actually not perfect in anyway, but someone who sees their imperfection and embraces the grace of God in their life. You love each other because you both love a perfect God who is actively working in your lives. Your relationship may not be perfect or what you had planned, but those who come together in Jesus will find that His plan for you is good, pleasing, and perfect.

[staypozitive]

[waronawrites]

Have you ever felt a potential love for someone? Like, you don’t actually love them and you know you don’t, but you know you could. You realise that you could easily fall in love with them. It’s almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it’s just not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don’t love them. You could, though. You know you could.

W.J.  (me all the time)

[cuanonymous-deactivated20121120]

How to keep a relationship.

[toknowrelationships]

Communicate: Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time for one another. Leave the past to the past, which include ex’s. Know that having arguments are normal. Know that you won’t always be happy. Don’t expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.

[mariaarroyo]

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.

(via permanently-yours)

[ohhellonat]

Marriage isn’t about you, it’s about the Glory of God.

Pastor Daniel (via ohhellonat)

[christmasnoose]

You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser. You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you. You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis. You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you. You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.

Why You’re Single by Amanda Crute (via juliaaaroseem)

real talk.

(via janelleeeelimmm)

[jellyyyace-blog]

Advice #1

Don’t get into a relationship with someone you’ve only known for a short while because they might turn out to be psychotic. 

i know someone that dated a girl he only knew for a month and she turned out to be a crazy, first-rate clinger. She would check his texts, Facebook, Tumblr (pretty much all his social networks) and would try to dig up information about his past (like friend request his exes and other friends on Facebook that she has never met in real life and would ask them about him). The relationship didn’t last very long as a result and he regretted getting in the relationship with her in the first place. I’m guessing he fell for his ideal view of her, and once he got to know her true persona, he realized that he made a pretty huge mistake. He ended it as soon as he could and it broke her heart.

In short, try to get to know the person you want to get into the relationship with as thorough as possible. Get to know their quirks and real personality, and if you still like them even though you know how weird they can get, then that’s when you know they’re worth it!

[bearyourcrocs]

If you want to be in a relationship, then you have to be willing to bleed. You have to be willing to fight your sin with every ounce of strength that you have and still get beat senseless by it because you’re not strong enough. You have to be willing to cry to God to help you show love and grace when all you want to do is curse and shout. You have to be willing to look like an idiot or take insults because  telling the truth in love is more important than them being happy with you or you looking good.

You have to be willing to die. To crucify your flesh every day and you have to be willing to get absolutely no credit for it. You have to be willing to do it even if you never get thanked, even if your love is spewed back into your face with anger and hurt. You have to be willing to have the darkest sin in you be pointed out and exposed before you. You have to be willing to be broken to the point where you can barely move for the sake of glorifying God and pointing them to Christ. If you are not willing, then do not pursue that person, because they deserve better than what you can give them. 

[biblicalfaith]

Ten dating ideas.

Chinese food in a car with a moon roof under a street light on a nice evening.

on the night of a meteor shower walk for half an hour down the beach then lay down on a blanket and enjoy the show.

a feast at the absolute cheapest restaurant  and that probably means terrible food but you’ll get plenty of it. Order at least three separate things and share.

find out your dates favorite tv show or movie series(gotta be at least 3 in the series) and have an all day marathon. Don’t be annoying and ask about the show all the time though just get into it and watch it them.

wait until a movie has been out for an extremely long time, go to the daytime showing and enjoy what will be a basically private screening.

going to an aquarium is a pretty fun time

rent a movie you have both seen before and just talk to each other with the movie playing in the back ground. It’s nice to sit and talk and whenever there’s a pause in the convo you’ve got a good movie to watch no matter what point its at.

never underestimate your dates willingness to go swinging. Find a local park and go have some fun. It does not matter how old you are(unless the park is age limited like a little kid park or something, don’t be those weirdo’s…)

there are bound to be local events around you at some point so keep an eye on the local scene. (hint: holidays will be extra busy)

get up early Saturday morning and go yard saling. There is an almost unlimited supply of useless stuff that people sell on Saturday mornings from their driveways that you and your date would never know you needed to have until you found it for $0.75 in that neighborhood you never even knew existed before.

[swimmertkesh-deactivated2019051]

This is a great article to read about this subject.