Hello Again, It’s been a while.
For anyone at all interested, I've been trying to survive the last few years of my 20's while in a pandemic, mental illness, physical disabilities and existential crisis. Is there a higher purpose for me? What do I offer that can make this planet better? What do I know about anything? In my last days of my 20's, reflection is inevitable. It’s weird to think that just ten years ago I was finishing my first year of college. Oh, I can still feel the hollowness I carried inside my chest from not knowing who I was, what was happening at anygiven moment, what life meant to me, how to be in this world and of course, the pain of rejection. I had really thought adulthood was just being able to do what I wanted when I wanted with no limits. Even in that mentality, I didn’t go as hard as I could have- I played it a little safe. Not to say there weren't some reckless nights I will never be able to recall. My 20’s have been a whirlwind of reaction and causation. I over thought everything but had no true intention behind my actions. I was always in reaction to something else. Envisioning what life could was always hopeless for me since I lacked imagination or power to get there. Over the next couple weeks leading up to my 30th, since I have nothing but time I’ll be able to meditate on what I really want out of life and how I will continue to curate the life that moves me. Here’s to self-reflection!
