Not Yr Queer @notyrqueer - Tumblr Blog

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pticorse

xxxnewstitch

Bach: Jesus bleibet meine freude, BWV 147

jturn

how insanely satisfying

theonlylivingboyinnewyork

When you can’t afford 10 pounds a month for Spotify.

squidsticks

King James I: *builds secret tunnel connecting his room to the room of a man he calls his husband*

Historians: it’s very hard to tell what kind of relationship they would have had, let’s not look at this through a 21st century lens

montereybayaquarium

There’s just something about cars in otter space… Two young visitors shared a playful moment with Abby, one of our resident rescued sea otters, as curiosity roved between the two worlds!

Thank you to guest Sandra Fu for the video!

why-animals-do-the-thing

Guests always function as enrichment for animals in human care - sometimes because they’re doing inappropriate things, and sometimes because of beautiful moments like this.

debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

lesbirdan

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

hermionegranger

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

thomrainierskies

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

icouldwritebooks

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

crimeronan

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

gin-and-eschatonic

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

harold-theyre-thespians

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

narwhalsarefalling

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

wren-likethe-bird

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

la-mancha-screwjob

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

fair-itself

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

maplefiasco

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

iamthatbeast

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

widonotts

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

artwlw

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

youlovelucie

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

spacecores

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

thebritishteapot

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

beecher-arts

One time I was working the bar at Starbucks and was asking a customer what they wanted with their drink. All the while my buddy was calling my name saying “Nick. Nick. Nick. Nick.” –Until I ended up asking the customer, “Do you want some Nick in your iced coffee?”

mtex-deactivated20190422

Or like… When it’s your birthday and someone says, “Happy Birthday!” And you respond back with “you too!” Wait… “I mean, thanks..”

Because you’re so used to being told “Have a good day!” And saying back “you too!” And your birthday only comes around once a year so you’re not used to being told that.

Yep. It’s happened to me.

…more than once.

loki-cat2

if you think shrek 3 sucks think again

thatdisheveledbitch

I think about this moment all the time

queensnarf

Bards really be like that

razortuber

@pausing-criticalrole is this scanlan?

crittique

thats basically keyleth and scanlan fusion

notyrqueer

They earned that surprise round

liraelclayr

No, YOU’RE crying

vaspider

If you just needed something nice today, here it is.

benkidu-deactivated20240822

Oh my.

the-kryomancer

the-queen-of-thedas

I’m nOt cRYiNg,YOu’RE crYIng!!

sparrf-blog

i keep thinking about that tribe of baboons where all the alpha males died from eating poison garbage and then the baby boy monkeys were taken care of by the lady monkeys and never got socialized to be aggressive so they all just live peacefully and groom eachother instead of fighting and killing eachother and its been generations of that, it only took 1 wipeout of the aggressive males to change the whole social order of the species i am crying they must be so much happier

theclassykindoftrasy

……….I have an idea.

geoclaire

don’t we all

fluffmugger

You’re missing half the story. When adolescent males from other groups came to join, they learned very rapidly that being an arsehole baboon was not fucking tolerated, and completely stopped the behaviour and integrated with the group.

Arseholes only thrive when you let them.

elljayvee

Only the aggressive males died; the non-aggressive ones didn’t go on garbage dump raids and so they survived just fine. This was about half the adult males in the troop. The suddenly-without-mean-competition males didn’t get aggressive and take over and start being giant jerks; they stayed the same pleasant baboons they had always been.

The researcher studying this troop was asked what he had learned about stopping violence in society and he said “Kill all the aggressive young males” and I think about that a lot.

capricorn-0mnikorn

He (Dr. Robert Sapolsky) said, in a 2008 documentary (YouTube clip) that featured his research:

“…if they are able, in one generation, to transform what are supposed to be textbook social systems, sort of engraved in stone, we don’t have an excuse when we say there are certain inevitabilities about human social systems.”

sergle

i’m reading why does he do that and this last part has been ON FIRE, i am hollering in my house.

wlwellbutrin

cats are so fake like they’re theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual

mockiato-deactivated20200315

I deeply sympathize because I also like to sleep an unreasonable amount and yell when hungry.

squidong

incidentally, you are also an apex predator

jumpingjacktrash

not incidentally! it’s pretty common to apex predators, actually. both sleeping a lot and getting grumpy and territorial when hungry. consider the grizzly bear.

when it’s naptime, it’s naptime.

when someone tries to edge up on your prime fishing spot, it’s yelling time!!

but mostly, it’s usually naptime.

kestrel-tree

Mansplaining protip:

When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:

Ok, which aspect is confusing you?

It seems like you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?

So did you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth explanation?

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

SAVAGE

teacher-zone him

daughter-of-rowan

My cousin is an asst psych professor. Her new boss brought up how male students sometimes challenge female professors. He asked how she handles that: she says ‘hold on: let me take notes’, grabs a pen & paper, and proceeds to take no notes. If he asks why, she says ‘Tell me something I don’t know & I’ll have something to write’; no student has tried twice. Her boss laughed and asked her to mention it at the next staff meeting.

bendingsignpost

Additional tip:

If you need to bring up a topic you think he’ll argue against, ask him if he knows what it is, nod along as he tells you, and then build on the argument he’s just made for you by laying the base.

aka, I had a mansplaining coworker who used to trigger the shit out of my PTSD, so one day I asked him if he knew what “trigger” meant as a psychological term. He proceeded to explain my own panic attacks to me and ended up having a facial Oh Shit when I responded with “Yes, that’s exactly what happens to me when you do X, I’m glad you understand.”

It’s very hard to claim ignorance of the subject when you’ve just been so very proud of showing off your knowledge of that subject.

babyanimalgifs

this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to

beebossinner-deactivated2023102

let my poor baby take his bath

melissa-anne-rose-deactivated20

If y'all really knew. If y'all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.

This is my life.

tinyelfperson

Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.

Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?

“We took his running harness off.”

And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.

grison-in-labs

I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.

She is dumb as soup.

(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)

Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:

I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down

That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will

I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down

I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time

I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t

I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store

I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated

I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed

You are not petting me enough

You are not petting me at all

I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while

There’s a brush and I need it

You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me

She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.

violent-darts

To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous.

I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason.

Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it.

“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD

cryoverkiltmilk

I was feeling very lonely this evening and now I’m laughing down to my belly so thank you for this post

thedesigndome

Artist Carves Wooden Rope Sculpture From a Tree Trunk

Artist Maskull Lasserre indulges in sculptural practice that strikes a delicate balance between hard-edged industrial media and a delicately poetic resolve, blending the two beautifully.

Keep reading

wittyusernamed

Me: That’s just rope whats the big dea- wait. wait… *peers closer* holy shit

tuffin-tuffmuffin

My Life As A DM #3

How to derail your own campaign with a single item.

geeky-jez-deactivated20231025

thorffour-deactivated20190920

popculturebrain

THX Just Shared the Original Sheet Music for its ‘Deep Note’ for the First Time

Look at this lad. Image: THX, Ltd.The Deep Note, the distinctive synthesized crescendo that is THX’s audio trademark, is one of the most iconic sounds in all of film. For the effects firm’s 35th anniversary, they’ve now shared the sheet music behind the sound.