So sorry for all the vent posts recently!!! I don't think anyone cares or sees them, and I know it's probably not the safest thing to do, but here's another because it kind of helps me a little, and I need that. Again, SO SORRYYY!!!
(Also, advice on this is greatly appreciated, and would be so insanely useful right now. No pressure, of course.)
I’m genuinely so terrified right now. I’m going back to an in-person school after not going to one for 3 years. I had to leave due to my mental health being really bad, as well as not being able to handle a lot of the things that come with going to an in-person school (hallways being loud and crowded, cafeterias and assemblies being the same way, I couldn’t talk to people without just shutting down, so I couldn't talk to teachers, I stopped eating because I couldn't force myself to do it with how loud the cafeteria was, I was having frequent panic attacks and making myself really sick to skip school because going was just so bad) I still am like this when I go do things in public places, the amount of times I’ve freaked out in a grocery store is sad; I know it will be like this when I return. And that school was smaller than the one I’m going to now. I’ve been online-schooled most of my life, only having gone to a public school for a few years before switching back, and this is a different school than either of the 2 I was previously at, and the building is huge, there are slightly over 2k students, and I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to handle that. I don’t really know how to deal with it properly. I have unhealthy ways that kind of help, but I’m trying to stop that, so it’s out of the question. I haven’t even been able to go see it because I’m transferring and not enrolling at the beginning of the school year, so I have no idea where anything is. On top of that, I am a visibly alternative and queer person in a largely Christian town in Texas, and bullying was already bad before, when everything it less visible. I don’t want my mental health to get worse. I genuinely cannot handle that right now. I have no idea what to do about any of this.
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