|Kimberly|

[this-chick-digs-chicks-deactiva]

I used to be so brainwashed by society and porn and thought pubic hair was gross and I just wanted to be hairless down there.

But dear god. Have you ever seen a woman with pubic hair?! It’s fucking gorgeous. It’s sexy, it looks amazing, it’s so great to play with when you’re just chilling. It’s such a fucking turn on.

It’s just… so much better than a hairless vagina that looks like it’s from a child. My advice? Grow the fuck up and grow that fucking bush.

[kimberlys27]

😂😂😂😂😂im dead

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

so tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of the day my father was killed and i want to tell you a story

a little while after he died my little brother and i got cell phones. i got a sparkly new phone number but my little brother basically received a hand me down number- that is to say, the phone number that used to be attached to the spray foam business my dad owned. apparently, for YEARS, my little brother would regularly receive phone calls from interested customers looking for spray foam installation. we are from a small area and things aren’t updated all that often there, so it really did take about 6 years for the business to be removed from local advertisements/newspapers/phone books/etc. my little brother, being a responsible young man, would alert the interested customer that the business was defunct, and he would cordially hang up. 

i wasnt aware of this until he told me about 6 years into this happening. when he told me i remember absolutely ROASTING him because uhm CLEARLY that is such a good OPPORTUNITY to clown people? the possibilities are endless!!! and he was just wasting them!!! he could set up fake meetings with people!! im talking give em quotes and everything and at the end be like “oh…wait…sorry…i just remembered that our spray foam guy died a couple years ago. maybe try again tomorrow? he might be back?” burst into tears on the phone and confuse them!! conduct the entire phone call acting as if spray foam is a food product and not a portion of home construction!! the POSSIBILITIES THAT WERE BEING PASSED UP!

and that’s when my mother, who was witnessing this entire conversation, looked at me and said “taylor…there is a reason your brother got the business phone number and not you.” anyways shoutout to my mother for keeping my chaotic tendencies in check for decades. the world is likely a better place because of her valiant efforts

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

this post is suddenly getting notes like a week after i posted it and im seeing some tags expressing surprise that this post wasnt actually a sad post i just wanna say that you dont always have to think about things connected to a Big Sad Thing as inherently sad!! you can have good memories connected to a sad moment!!! we all process things differently!! if you ask me about anything in my life that was vaguely traumatic i WILL tell you a funny story having to do with it or i will explain the event in a funny way!! so let me tell you about one time i DID get the opportunity to successfully clown someone as a result of my father’s untimely death!! one time in high school i was telling a group of people a story having to do with my mother and stepfather. upon hearing that i have a stepfather, one person at the table (who didn’t know me particularly well) paused the story to ask me “did you ever know your real dad?”

and i go uhmmmmmmm yeah 

so then she asks “do you still talk to him?” 

which, hey, let me pause this story to tell you all that it isn’t cool to ask someone about a parent if they talk about a stepparent but dont mention a biological parent. it’s just a bad move in general. but, in this moment, for me, it was EXHILARATING 

at this point, ive realized: this is the moment ive been waiting for. the ultimate clowning. im gonna drag this shit out as long as i can. im gonna make this person really wait for this punchline. and dear god do i hope everyone at this lunch table who is well aware that my dad was smashed to smithereens a few years ago doesnt say a fuckign word. this is my MOMENT

so i try to school my expression into something neutral and tell her, “no, not really…i guess i could, theoretically, but it’d be kind of weird for me to try.”

this would be a good moment for her to realize she’s made a mistake and drop the conversation. but…she doesn’t drop it. im THRIVING. my little asshole heart is leaping out of my chest in excitement. she pushes onward. she asks me, “have you ever visited him?”

“once or twice”

she still doesn’t drop it. she doesn’t know when to stop. im LIVING for it.  she asks, “where does he live?”

“oh he lives in (town name)” 

im praying she continues to question me. im so close to delivering the most drawn out, morbid punchline of my young life. im absolutely trembling. finally, she asks, having a vague knowledge of the geography of the town im talking about, “oh, where in (town name)?”

now. i ruin the moment slightly. i giggle. im just losing my mind at this point. one of the other people at the table snickers with me, knowing full well what’s about to go down. i decide it’s time. i put this horrible joke into the oven and now it’s piping hot and ready for the home delivery. 

“oh, he lives in sacred heart cemetery.”

BOOM

THANK YOU FOR ORDERING FROM TAYLOR’S SHITTY DEAD PARENT JOKE DELIVERY SERVICE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO FILL OUT  A FEEDBACK SURVEY?  yeah apparently 0/5 stars because she was PISSED at me

[kimberlys27]

Taylor makes the world a better place

[anoniemus]

hoofdpijn

[dfffccdfc-deactivated20200215]

@apocalypo dit krijg ik van jou Kato

[apocalypo]

@dreamingwithacrushedheart logisch als ik de enige ben die praat

[dfffccdfc-deactivated20200215]

Niemand vertelde je dat je tegen jezelf frans moet praten

[apocalypo]

Je te déteste vraiment, Mai

[dfffccdfc-deactivated20200215]

Wil je niet zo keihard typen

[apocalypo]

Ik typ zo hard ik zelf wil, gewoon jaloers

[dfffccdfc-deactivated20200215]

Nee doe niet, ga parkour doen

[kimberlys27]

😂😂ik ben dood

[lesbians-and-labradors]

🏳️‍🌈I know this is long, but I hope some of you take the time to read. It is an extremely personal narrative of mine I wrote in May describing my coming out. I’ve debated sharing this for months, but I think that it can help others going through the same or similar situations in their lives. I am aware that others have gone through harsher experiences during their coming out, but I just want those of you that are struggling to know that you’re not alone, and that things do get easier. If you’re not struggling, maybe you’re just bored and wanna read a story. Either way, thank you to those of you who take time to read and share my story. 🏳️‍🌈

Thanks again to those who took the time to read. It truly means a lot to me. I hope that I can help or touch the hearts of at least a couple people out there 💞

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[syntacked]

“I hope I made you feel something, because you made me feel everything.”

— Gemma Troy (via syntacked)

[vasselheims-archive]

if i ever fall asleep on you, you are 100% allowed to take a picture of us both

[ddecatur]

This is important.

[brinaabeaan-deactivated20200823]

But you aren’t allowed to post it anywhere unless I look cute.

[sleeping-mylife-away-deactivate]

exactly, needs approval before social media posting, BUT if you wish to secretly take one and not mention it & send it to me one day with thoughtful words, I could care less how bad I look you are winning in my book.

[wordsnquotes]

“Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving.”

— Madeleine L’Engle

[titsandtwosugars]

do you ever see someone in public and think “you look very… Tumblr”

[kimberlys27]

Fr

[neverthere12345]

[datsgayyy]

Why is this me

[kimberlys27]

Because i aint shit

[bulbasaurbian]

a girl’s thighs are the best pillows known to mankind, haven’t you heard?

[lezships]

Some more memes for y’all

[to-the-clouds-above]

The last one 😂

[kimberlys27]

😂dead

[colorogasm]

via Pinterest

[kimberlys27]

Yas. A nice hooman bean

[socrappily-deactivated20140302]

what is wrong with us…all of us…what are we doing

[kimberlys27]

WE DONT KNOW

[rosyfever-deactivated20181104]

anyway. Love is the point

[kimberlys27]

Always .

[hopefully-funny]

I am a strong independent woman who don’t need no man but would love another strong independent woman on top of her

[kimberlys27]

Smh😂

[biteythevillain]

so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss 

[velv-ette]

lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph

[makingstrangemaneuvers]

Ok but imagine being the gf here

You’ve been chillin with ur S/O and u decide to get up and get a snack. U never talk to ur S/O’s roommate, but u wanna play it cool like u didn’t just have sex 20 minutes ago in this apartment while said roommate was probably home. Awk af, but u got this.

U look up and nod at them, about to offer a noncommittal “hey” or “how’s it going,” when the fucking roommate just

Looks u dead in the eyes

And fuckin

Bites a goddamn onion like an apple

[kimberlys27]

Status of the day😂😭