This story's just beginning

Elizabeth 24 she/her No one is you and that is your power.

[brostateexam]

it's been a bad year for essential workers, mental health, small businesses and probably many of the people reading this, but it's been a great year for hot takes

[venort]

CHALLENGE:

You are now hosting a dinner party for everyone in this post:

Working Class CIA

Money Is Queer

Capitalist Aliens

tfw No Bestie

Trans Rights War Profiteering

Cute Korean Slurs

Xi Jinping Hamilton

Tobacco Connection

Cyber Communist Bezos

Hunter Gatherer Shoplifter

Who sits next to who?

(bonus: you can slide Working Class CIA 20 money to assassinate any of the other guests and frame Guatemala. Do you take the offer?)

[brostateexam]

This is the first good addition to this post in more than a year

[bees-with-swords]

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

[focsle]

Re: dramatically changing 19th century dress silhouettes, thinkin about the time a whaler finally came home from a 4 year voyage and was just like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ when reencountering hoop skirts.

[aunt-rat]

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

WE HAVE MILF IS A SLUR DISCOURSE I REPEAT WE HAVE MILF IS A SLUR DISCOURSE

[hiveswap]

hahahaha

[luxurybrownbarbie]

I know this will bother unhealed adults, but the real world, more often than not, does give you second chances and do overs. Very rarely are things set in stone. And people, especially young people, deserve to know that. Because lording the idea that they can never mess up, even once, does a lot more damage than good.

[calware]

[socialmaya]

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

Opening Task Manager to scare the programs into behaving again

[bandit-jay-deactivated20231028]

Comparing the rotations of objects in the Solar System. Just look at them lol.✨🪐

To everyone that's confused, the planet Venus rotates very very slowly, with a single revolution taking about 243 Earth days, and Mercury rotates slowly, but not as slow as Venus.

[teenbeachmovie3]

THERE IS NO HOME TO RETURN TO

lorde // unknown // james baldwin // eliseo h. zubiri // todd hido // taylor swift // jennifer mehigan // miriam adeney

[isnt]

[fabionardini]

Stephanie Cunningham: Dog in the Wind

Posted by Paulo Vergueiro

[foxpost-generator]

IT

[deathsmallcaps]

FUCKEN

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

WIMDY

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[microwavefruit]

[barelyherestillqueer]

[fiti-vation]

Similar posts: 

5 simple snack boxes for busy people X

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

The text in this post is as follows: 16 Lunchbox ideas that aren’t sandwiches

Parfait Lunchbox:

This one may seem more like breakfast, which means it is doubly awesome because it can serve for a lunch or breakfast on the go. This particular lunchbox is my daughter’s favorite. She is a huge fan of parfaits, and I am a huge fan of keeping her happy. I pre-portioned out the granola, coconut, and nuts, and have them all in a drawer so she can assemble these herself too! Just add yogurt and berries.

4 ounce yogurt cup

2 ounces granola

2 ounces roasted almonds

2 ounces blueberries

2 ounces raspberries

2 ounces coconut flakes

The Cheese Plate Lunchbox:

One of my favorite things to eat is a cheese plate, so why not make one into a lunchbox? I am stocking my fridge with these little cheese plates to go so I can enjoy them for lunches and snacks myself, not just send them off to school with my kids. It offers protein, carbs, and all kinds of delicious fruits, so it is both filling and nutritious.

Chunk of brie

Chunk of gouda

Chunk of sarvecchino

Apple slices

Dried fruit (apricots)

Pretzel crisps

Grapes (red and green)

Almond, roasted and salted

The Chicken Salad Lunchbox:

Chicken salad is an awesome lunch item, and lucky for me, I can buy it already made and portioned into these perfect 4 ounce cups from Costco. This is a fun and filling option that doesn’t take a ton of work for me, and adds a nice variety. Pair it with a croissant or crackers, fruit and veggies.

Chicken Salad Cup

Grapes

Carrots

Wheat Crackers

The Wannabe Cheeseburger:

My husband loves cheeseburgers for lunch, so I thought it would be fun to make a kind of deconstructed burger, and offer it as a lunch option. So instead of a burger patty it is roast beef, then all the fun components of a regular cheeseburger meal. Minus the chips/fries. So feel free to add a bag of potato chips to this one to make it even more fun!

Roast beef

Slider bun

Cheese stick

Olives

Grape tomatoes

Dill pickles

Protein Lunchbox:

Have you seen the protein boxes at Starbucks? I wanted to have something like that in my fridge for days when I am super busy, and need sustenance. And guess what? My kids liked them too. So they definitely made the list for lunchbox options. This one is delicious, but of course, feel free to add your favorite form of protein.

Black forrest ham

Roast beef

Cheese chunks

Hard boiled egg

Cashews

Almonds

Hummus

The All American:

Of all the lunchbox ideas, this one is the worst! It is not the healthiest of the options, which is probably why it is one of my kid’s favorites. It is a fun option though, and a great go to when I don’t have time to make anything, as most of it can be purchased, and just assembled.

Pretzel sticks

Applesauce

Cheese stick

Trail mix

Granola bar

Mandarin orange cup

The Apple Sandwich Lunchbox:

Have you ever had an apple sandwich? It is basically slices of apple with peanut butter spread over the slice, and topped with fun things like mini chocolate chips, granola, and nuts. I loved the idea, and thought it would be fun to make it for my kids. For their lunches I would pre-slice the apple into rounds, and stick a clean rubber band around it so that it doesn’t brown during the day while it is in their lunchbox. Then let them assemble as they see fit.

Apple

Peanut butter

Coconut

Granola

Dried fruit

Mini chocolate chips

Roasted, salted nuts

Blueberry Bagel Lunchbox:

My kids are big fans of breakfast foods, so incorporating them into the lunchbox ideas was a given. And this one is a particular favorite because it is filling and flavorful. You could pre-toast the bagel if you wanted, but I just pre-slice it to make it easy for the kids at lunch time.

Blueberry bagel

Whipped cream cheese

Grapes

Berry medley

Chicken Salad Fruit and Veggie Lunch Box:

Okay, I admit it, this one is a little boring, at leas the name, but it is one of my favorites because it is filling and tasty, and hits all the right notes. It offers a great chicken salad to be eaten with pretzel crisps, but also cucumber slices, fruit, and nuts.

4 ounce chicken salad

Cucumber slices

Nectarine

Roasted almonds

Pretzel crisps

Deconstructed Pizza Lunchbox:

Who doesn’t love a good slice of pepperoni pizza? And while many argue cold pizza is fine, it isn’t my favorite, but I love the various components, and they make a lunch box my kids can’t get enough of.

Pepperoni

Cheese chunks

Olives

Grape tomatoes

Wheat crackers

Frogs on a Log Lunchbox:

As a kid there was nothing I liked more than a stick of celery slathered in peanut butter and topped with “frog” raisins. But these are given a slight upgrade. They offer delicious nut butter (choose your favorite), whipped cream cheese, and more! You will love this one.

Nut butter (almond, peanut, cashew, you pick)

Whipped cream cheese

Dried fruit (cranberries, raisins, etc.)

Roasted nuts

Celery sticks

The Fruit Salad:

Fruit salad is always a fun thing to eat, especially when it has a fun dressing. This embodies that idea, in lunchbox form. Fruit and yogurt, and combine to make a fruit lover’s dream. Feel free to add in some nuts, chia seed, hemp, or something else if you want more heft. This is another one of those great for breakfast options!

Yogurt

Apple slices

Grapes

Berries

Homemade Lunchables Lunchbox:

Please tell me I am not the only one whose kids beg for lunchables? Like seriously! So I decided to make my own so they have quality cheese, great quality deli meats, a fun treat, and fresh fruit.

Ritz crackers

Colby jack and provolone cheese slices

Black forrest ham

2 ounce cup of M&M’s

Grapes or fruit of choice

The Hummus Dipper Lunchbox

Hummus is such an awesome lunchbox addition, especially when you can add tons of great dippers. And what better way to increase veggie intake? This is another one I like to make extras of so I have nutritious snack options at the tip of my fingers.

Sabra hummus cup

Celery

Cucumber

Carrot sticks

Pita chips

Green olives

The Mediterranean Lunchbox:

Speaking of my love of hummus… this lunchbox is amazing. It offers all the fun flavors of the Mediterranean in a great snackable or lunchbox form! Yet another one I make extras of for me!

Pita or mini naan

Roasted chick peas

Green olives

Sabra hummus

Cucumber

Sugar snap peas

Grape tomatoes

The Nacho Lunchbox:

Nachos are so tricky for lunch boxes, especially if you don’t have to have a (way) to heat up your cheese, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy all the yummy flavors of a good plate of nachos. This one is a kid and husband favorite!

Tortilla chips

Guacamole cup

Pickled jalapenos

Salsa

Olives

Tomatoes

Cheese stick

(End of post)

[borealing]

kids these days who are fans of fall out boy and can just read the lyrics on spotify or whatever. do you know how lucky you are. when i was a lad you listened to an illegally burnt cd, heard a nonsensical string of syllables, and listened to it 100 times until you thought you know what was said. and then you got ahold of an album sleeve with lyrics and read the lyrics. and realise you were absolutely nowhere close.

[bigpeepeehaver]

[thebibliosphere]

Microsoft Word underlining a word and suggesting it doesn't exist:

Me, reaching for my scrabble dictionary: We'll just see about that.

[the-haiku-bot]

Me, reaching for my

scrabble dictionary: We’ll

just see about that.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[romanceyourdemons]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[romanceyourdemons]

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

[romanceyourdemons]

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

[romanceyourdemons]

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

[romanceyourdemons]

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

[romanceyourdemons]

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

[romanceyourdemons]

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

[romanceyourdemons]

ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk

[romanceyourdemons]

eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important

[romanceyourdemons]

twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go

[romanceyourdemons]

thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme

[romanceyourdemons]

fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader

[romanceyourdemons]

fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that

[romanceyourdemons]

sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why