Cass's Corner

25-year-old hobgoblin posing as a law school grad and semi-functional human.

[stuckinapril]

yes girl I think it’s incredibly sexy how indecisive you are about every single decision in your life. I also love how you haven’t let anything go since you were 12. can we make out now

[runningforthemills]

@lesbianlotties

[wizard-email]

hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?

[rudjedet]

After three batches, my findings so far:

I use full fat Greek yoghurt and self-rising flour

Ratio by weight

Add a pinch of salt

Knead until no longer sticky, adding more flour if necessary

Roll them with olive oil instead of flour and fry in an otherwise unoiled, preheated pan (medium heat) (trust in the lord; it will seem like it's going to stick to the pan at first but they'll unstick in about 15 seconds)

Roll them thin but not too thin; mine take about 45 seconds on either side

Serving with garlic butter is also a very good option

[strangeducks]

I’m gonna be eating these for a month

[alex51324]

This actually works?? Two-ingredient bread??

I gotta try it.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

That's...naan.

That's naan?

*runs to Google*

HOLY SHIT THAT IS NAAN! HOW DID I NOT KNOW NAAN WAS THAT EASY TO MAKE?

[rylandsgrace]

Tony Stark dies today (17/10/23), according to the MCU timeline.

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[callmebliss]

O to be a cat living on my own in a three bedroom unit with an occasional visitor

[weeberc3]

And a reserved seat in the museum apparently! No word on gift shop access but it's already a great deal.

[cipheramnesia]

My name is Buzz

This is mye chair

I'm in museyum

It's safe in here

Three bed rooms

In mye fyne house

When chair man come

I show him mouse

[humansofnewyork]

“Growing up I was very much in my own head, my own world. Instead of getting a babysitter my mom would just go to work and leave me at the house. We didn’t have a TV or anything. And when there’s no one to talk to, you just become your own friend. I’d look out the window and try to imagine myself doing things. Like: ‘What would it be like if I was standing on that roof? What sort of things would I see?’ But when you do that too much, at some point you get lost. I didn’t even feel alone. It’s hard to explain, because I haven’t experienced nothing else. But it’s like: you don’t feel lonely if there’s never nobody else there. And there was never nobody else there. Alone was my normal. It was my comfortable. So when we first started dating, I didn’t know what to do. Every time we were alone I would speak non-stop. Then I’d stop myself mid-sentence and be like, ‘Damn. I’m speaking a lot. I need to shut up.’ And she’d be like: ‘No, just keep telling me what you were telling me.’ I was just so excited. I felt like l a kid with a new toy. I’m not calling her a toy, that’s not what I mean. But that’s how I felt. Like I don’t know how this works, but I can’t believe I have it. I’m in love now. For so long I’d told myself: ‘This is never going to happen.’ But then it actually happened. It was like: ‘What do I do? Where do I go now?’ Every day has been something new. Monday feels like Saturday, because every day has meaning. I’m figuring out about her, and about myself, and about the world. Like, I didn’t know you could have fun in winter. There’s so many indoor activities you can do, just simple things. Like wearing matching pajamas on New Years. I never knew about that stuff. It can be so fulfilling. Sometimes you don’t even have to do anything. Just having somebody sitting next to you makes you feel nice inside. And that’s how it is now. That’s how my life is. She’s my comfortable. When she’s not with me, I wish that she was. I feel what it feels to be alone.”

[amateur]

The Hex Girls performing in Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost, 1999

[luimnigh]

Okay, here's my idea:

The British should put a time limit on the Monarchy.

Not like declaring a republic tomorrow, but deciding on a date in the future that ends the British Monarchy.

And there's a perfect date for it coming up!

October 14th, 2066.

A thousand years since the Battle of Hastings. A thousand years of this one specific bloodline ruling England.

Call time on the Monarchy after exactly one thousand years. Nice, and neat.

Even better: Charles isn't living 44 years. He'll be gone in about twenty. Now William? He's what, 40? Yeah, he can live another 44 years. His great grandmother was over a hundred, his granny was 96, William can make it to 84 barring accident or assassination.

So on October 14th 2066, William the Last steps down a thousand years after William the First won the crown.

Nice, neat, and fair. William gets the crown he's been waiting forty years for already, but ten-year-old George grows up without expectation of it.

Have a nice big abdication ceremony, even.

[lasrina]

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

[roach-works]

the Final Bill

[embervoices]

This is actually a really good idea, I think.

[roomhole]

[karrakazz]

[relatablepicturesofhomersimpson]

[philhollywood-was-here]

I always wondered about this room. Where is it?

[relatablepicturesofhomersimpson]

Whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.

[nutsacktorturer]

behind the garage

[relatablepicturesofhomersimpson]

And that’s the end of that mystery

[dietmountainmadewka-deactivated]

why the simpsons got a bigger house than my parents

[rainy-days-will-never-end-deact]

Homer is a nuclear engineer

[chamiryokuroi]

This post made me realize that Homer is in fact a Nuclear engineer…

[omghotmemes]

Senpai says you’re welcome

[quintusbenedictus]

Reblogging again because I just realized that if I had this advice in high school I would’ve never made a tumblr account.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.

[ralfmaximus]

There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.

And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:

[renofmanyalts]

If you use uBlock Origin, you can also use the Element Zapper.

I haven’t tried it myself, but here’s the Firefox version of Behind the Overlay: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/behind_the_overlay/

[imaginedsoldier]

Cleaning with ADHD all about momentum. Its like being a shark, if you stop moving you just straight up die.

[lilishere]

[nobleriver]

River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing is worth you.

[animeshittalk]

imagine getting this review

[raddagher]

hello google chrome refugees

don't use any of these browsers, they're also chrome

Here are my favorite firefox plugins for security/anti-tracking/anti-ad that I recommend you get

please get off chrome google is currently being investigated for being an Illegal Monopoly so get outta there okay love you bye

[humansofnewyork]

(53/54) “It’s a beautiful word in itself, Mitra. Someone who has no idea of its meaning can appreciate its beauty. Mitra always had a genius for beauty. She knew it completely. She wanted it around her at all times. Even now she keeps a book of Hafez by our bedside. It’s always in reach, and whenever she finds a verse that she loves, she will bring it to me. She still trusts me to find the melody. Poetry is one of the things that she still remembers best. Because poetry is music. It sinks into the memory. Even if you can’t remember a word, the rhythm will guide you. The rhyme will give you a hint. Recently we were reciting a poem from an old book, and one of the words had completely faded. It was a poem that we both used to love. And I was so mad at myself. I kept trying to remember the word, but it would not come to me. Then suddenly she said it. It made me so happy. It doesn’t hurt when she forgets anymore, but it makes me so happy when she remembers. To know that the memory is still inside of her. That she is still holding on. Our lives are just a fistful of memories, ice melting in our hands. And Mitra’s ice is melting faster than mine. But she still has more memories of me than anyone else. And I have a lifetime of memories every time I look at her. And until the last moment, until the last ice has melted, we will still be us. Our entire lives we’ve been on two different roads. But the horizon was always the same. It was an unwritten promise: that no matter what happens, I will keep you. Even when we disagree, I will keep you. From a distance, I will keep you. In the dark, I will keep you. In the deepest pit, I will keep you. Even if you lose your country, even if you lose your eye, even if you lose your memory, I will keep you. We will still be us. It’s the only thing we ever agreed on. We always agreed on us. It’s one of the earliest principles of Iran. It’s where she gets her name. Mitra, the God of Promises.” 

میترا واژه‌ای بس زیباست. حتا اگر درونمایه‌اش را هم ندانیم، زیبایی واژه را درمی‌یابیم. او نبوغ ویژه‌ای در زیباشناسی دارد. به درستی با آن آشناست. دوست داشت پیرامونش همیشه زیبا باشد. هنوز دیوان حافظ را کنار تختش می‌گذارد. هنوز هرگاه شعری دلپسند از حافظ ‌بیابد، به من می‌دهد تا برایش بخوانم. هنوز باور دارد که من آهنگ درست شعر را زود پیدا می‌کنم. اگر نتوانم، یاری‌ام می‌کند. شعر، یکی از چیزهایی‌ست که هنوز به یاد می‌آورد. شعر موسیقی‌ست، پر از آهنگ و نواست، در گوشه‌های مغز جایی دارد. اگر واژه را فراموش کنید، آهنگ‌اش شما را به آن می‌رساند، راهنماست. چند روز پیش شعری از کتابی کهن را می‌خواندیم. یکی از واژگان خواندنی نبود. شعری بود که هر دو دوست داشتیم، دلم گرفت، به یادش نمی‌آوردم، ناگهان او واژه را در جایش نشاند! چه مایه شادمان شدم. فراموشی‌های او دیگر مرا نمی‌آزارند، اما هرگاه چیزی را به یاد می‌آورد بسیار خُرسند و خُشنود می‌شوم. می‌دانم که برخی خاطره‌ها هنوز در او زنده‌اند. هنوز آنها را نگه‌داشته است. زندگی مُشتی خاطره است که مانند یخ در دست‌هایمان آب می‌شود. یخ‌های میترا به آب شدن شتاب بیشتری دارند. او بیش از هر کس دیگری از من خاطره دارد. و من خاطره‌ی یک عمر زندگی را مُرور می‌کنم هرگاه به او چشم می‌دوزم. تا واپسین لحظه، تا واپسین تکه‌ی یخ، با هم خواهیم ماند. همه‌ی زندگی‌مان، دو تا همراه بوده‌ایم. اما افق و کرانه‌‌هامان همواره همسو بوده است. کاخی بود پیرامون ما. سوگندی نانوشته: هر آنچه هم که پیش آید، تو را نگه خواهم داشت. هم‌اندیش نباشیم، تو را نگه خواهم داشت. بر بالاترین فراز‌ها، تو را نگه خواهم داشت. در ژرف‌ترین گودال‌ها، تو را نگه خواهم داشت. اگر میهن‌ات را از دست بدهی، اگر چشم‌ات را هم از دست بدهی، حتا اگر حافظه‌ات را از دست بدهی، همچنان تو را نگه خواهم داشت. ما همچنان ما خواهیم بود. این یگانه چیزی‌ست که ما همواره بر سر آن هم‌رای بودیم. این یکی از نخستین آرمان‌های ایران بوده است. سرچشمه‌ی نامش. میترا، ایزدبانوی پیمان‌ها

[silentauroriamthereal]

I don’t know who wrote this or why, but this writing is just *chef’s kiss*

**Editing to add: I now know that this was said by Lindy West in her book The Witches are Coming. Good to know! 

[loveismyrevolution]

This is gold!!!

[katedrawscomics]

“toot the bad cone” will never not be funny to me

[taahko]

every so often im struck by the memory of one of my college professors getting very angry with our class (art history of pompeii 250) because when she excitedly detailed the ingenious roman invention of heated floors in bathhouses via hearths in small crawlspaces, we asked who was tending the fires. she said "oh, slaves i suppose. but that isnt the point". and we said that it actually very much was the point. she had just told us that in roman society there were dozens of people, maybe hundreds, who spent every day of their enslaved lives crawling in cramped, hot, smoky tunnels to light fires to warm pools of water (which they were not allowed to swim in). how could that not be the point?

she wanted us to focus on the art, on the innovation of heated plumbing, on the tiles and decorations of the bathhouses, and all we wanted to do was learn more about the people under the floors. and she didn't know anything more about that. in fact, she said she thought we were focusing too much on superfluous details.

it feels almost hokey to put too fine a point on the idea im getting at here but i will anyway: There are a lot of people who are still under the floors. all these beautiful, convenient, brilliant innovations of modern society (think fast fashion, chatgpt, uber, doordash) are still powered by people working in inhumane, untenable conditions.

the people who run these systems want you to focus on the good - who doesnt love warm water? - but if anything is going to improve or change in our lifetimes, you need to examine these things with an attentive, critical, and empathetic eye. and for fucks sake stop ordering from amazon