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Bard Adventure #16
This week was mostly theater of the mind so there isn’t anything in the way of Lego builds to talk about. I have one picture to show but it’s staged to give some scope to the amount of loot that is in the hoard.
The party slew a dragon. That dragon had a hoard. That hoard was being picked over by another group. There was a clash and the party was successful in securing the hoard.
Now what do they do with it?
It’s a lot. I mean, it’s too much.It’s forcing even the most gold desiring character to consider what to do with this much money.
Also, there are 400+ dragonborn eggs about to hatch that they found. So, the dragon was busy laying eggs. Why?
Why was there a mindflayer leading that group? Where did he go? exactly what do they know about this whole plot so far?
They know very little. They are starting to take it all seriously now. This is a big game with big goals, and they are not big enough yet to make the difference that they need. However, they did have the sense to call for help. Credit to the players that actually reached out for assistance. In my years of running and playing it’s a rare case when it happens.
Here is the picture I took of a hoard. The in game description would be about 5 times this size. Thanks for reading!
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Some inspiration for the world.
Don’t
Play D&D with anyone you wouldn’t want to go on a 3 hour car trip with.
D&D is a 3-4 hour car trip except there are rules and goblins and rules goblins
Players: Are we there yet?
DM: (frantically drawing out maps on the spot) I honestly don’t know
Also DM: Wait, who is driving?
Things players say
“Touched by an elf, they are immune to sleep but you are not” an after school special.
13th Session pictures.
Episode 13 of The Shattered World: All Bards Game
The Session opens much as the last one with this description: The carts are pulled close to the hut as you wake in the forest. A misty rain is falling giving everything a dull wet sheen about you. There is a slight fog on the low lying areas you can see. You have camped a small well used nook near the fork in the road. The misty rain continues throughout the adventure. I like adding in the weather even if it's just a hint at the beginning. It's a detail that sometimes will have huge consequences later. In this case they all failed their checks to notice the mist getting thicker, but that's for later. The immediate challenge was how to cross the river. The fork allowed two paths, one led to a washed out bridge where the current was stronger and the water deeper. But perhaps they could find a way to ford. After investigation they decided against that. The other fork led them to a wider part of the river with a slower current. This is where they chose to go. So the path wasn't wide enough at the river for two carts to cross at the same time. And the river still did get to about 7 feet deep in the middle. They decided to swim across with a rope, then another rope, and then lead the horses across to pull the carts across using the ropes as a guide. This was a solid plan. The NPC Paladin swam across as he was the only one that he could handle his horse, but as a warhorse it would be the strongest and most able to pull the carts across. They had two of the three horses across and were halfway through pulling a cart when two owlbears attacked. Chalk, the tabaxi lore bard cast a summon and brought forth 9 giant owls. They heard the owlbears far enough away, as this bard also was thirty feet up a tree keeping watch, that they were able to get a round of ranged attacking. While this was going on the Paladin was keeping the horses from running and breaking the cart in the water. The Eladrin Glamour Bard Castien was in the cart in the river keeping it steady, but since he was within sixty feet of those on shore he used his an ability and gave everyone temp hitpoints. Since the horses were not really pulling anymore he elected to get into the harness and use the ropes to pull the cart across the water himself. The Human Lore Bard Jerek was unarmed on the side of the river and trying to figure out how to help. He cast fireball to try to stop them. He only got one of them as the other made its save. That spell attack caused the owlbears to split up, and they then saw that one was brown larger and the other had a more reddish cast to its feathers. The one he did get, red, was just pissed at that point. Meanwhile in the river Castien was trying not to look a the Owlbears as he spent most of last game running from them, as he was alone. Chalk had to come down, he actually just floated down because of his featherfall cloak, to cast a spell for line of sight. He cast shatter on red. Lucien with no line of site threw Jerek's spear where he could reach it. While down the bears both jumped on Chalk, he didn't get killed right then, and one of the owlbears did by getting speared by Jerek throwing his, but it hurt a lot. At the earliest opportunity he run back up the tree. The other owlbear took out Jerek. The paladin was now trying to control two wildly bucking horses and barely able to do that. The last living owlbear turned on Chalk, and a staggeringly powerful leap and quick climb he was 30 feet up in that tree with him. Knocked him down and out in one powerful hit. Now back on the ground the owlbear turned on the paladin. Castien continued to pull the cart by himself to the riverbank. On the other side of the river Lucien, Half-elf Sword Bard and Rogue, took the opportunity to shoot the bear with arrows. He did the final damage needed to slay the beast. Upon the death of the owlbears the horses immediately began to calm. The paladin was able to get them settled. He then walked to Jerek and Chalk and used his lay on hands ability to heal them a little. This allowed them to get up and heal themselves with spells and drink. A few more rolls and all the carts, horses, and party members were across the river. The group decided on a short rest before proceeding down the road. They took a couple hours and ate and cast healing. A jaunty tune was played and the party began to feel better. They packed up, re-equipped and got back on the road. As they travelled no one noticed the road getting narrower and the hedges getting thicker. It dawned on someone that the hedges were not supposed to be that thick in this region. They then noticed that they couldn't see behind them anymore. The hedges had closed the road behind them. The spiders were in hiding near the village. Their stealth was perfect. As the party approached a clearing before the village someone noticed the webs. Then the spiders started laying web down. The paladin and Jerek were standing in the middle, proud and defiant. Chalk, Castien, and Lucien were hiding trying to suss out the location of the spider. Shortly they realized that they were set upon by more than one. Chalk is the only one that can see the a spider. He only sees one, and it knows he sees him. There is a lot of aggressive posturing and back and forth. Chalk summons two lions to hsi side. And begins to attack the spider. Slowly he strikes at the beast even as it fades in and out of shadows. Eventually he defeats it to a resounding thud. And then he is struck by web. Lucien sees a spider and pins it with arrows. The death of this spider is quick. Either the speed of it’s death or just sheer luck caused the last one to reveal itself to Castien. He quickly dispatched it with spells. The party is huddled here. Waiting for the next horror to come from the shadows. Watches are set, they are in the middle of the road. And there are webs everywhere.
Some owlbears. Working on making them more stable.
When only 2/5 of your players are there you take a slight detour. In this world the elven lands have a strong connection to the Feywild. When traveling is possible to be collocated there and not realize it. They encountered: invisible Fey, a dire owlbear, and 4 black dragon wyrmlings. This is the to Bard/Rogues in the party and as such was heavy in stealth and thought. They met all challenges with intelligence, caution, and style. They also managed to bring back another watch tower. It was really fun.
When only 2/5 of your players are there you take a slight detour. In this world the elven lands have a strong connection to the Feywild. When traveling it's possible to be collocated there and not realize it.
They encountered: invisible Fey, a dire owlbear, and 4 black dragon wyrmlings. This is the 2 Bard/Rogues in the party and as such was heavy in stealth and thought. They met all challenges with intelligence, caution, and style.
They also managed to bring back another sunken watch tower. It was really fun.
Narrating Combat in D&D
Combat descriptions are always difficult to come up with on the fly. Here is a guide with some tips and tricks to make your combat more interesting and dramatic!
image credit: Michael Komarck
Hit Points
When a creature or player gets hit by an attack, think about the situation surrounding the attack. Has the creature already taken damage? Figure out how much damage is being dealt before describing the attack. Is it a lot of damage or a little? How tough is the defender? is it merely a pinprick to them or a grievous wound? No matter how you slice it, hits always come back to one thing: Hit Points.
So something important that you should know about Hit Points: just because you subtracted “Hit Points” and they took “damage” doesn’t necessarily mean you actually drew blood. Most people always default to “you stab them in the face/chest/neck.” Well that’s a pretty gruesome and very lethal hit. Most creatures would probably just flat-out die from that. This isn’t a Tom & Jerry cartoon where creatures squash and stretch to absorb the damage.
To help ease into a creature’s eventual demise over a large span of Hit Points, try describing nonlethal ways that creatures and players “take damage.“ Have each attack wear down the creature. Only draw blood when a player lands multiple blows or rolled a high attack or damage roll (basically when the player feels good about their attack) or when they fall below half hit points. That’s why we use the term "bloodied,” after all! Here are some examples of some pre-bloodied attacks:
Your deft swordplay is wearing out the defender as they struggle to parry your strikes!
The creature is backed into a corner, its options for defenses running thin!
Their weapon is buffeted by your blows and knocked away. Now’s your chance!
The horseman is knocked from their mount, leaving them battered and bruised as they roll back to their feet!
Your ambush forces the orc to deflect your dagger with their bare hand to save itself. It yowls in pain!
Your mace clobbers the knight upside its head, dazing them as a metallic sound reverberates through their helmet! Backpedal in confusion.
The wizard wrinkles their brow as they deflect your attack with a hasty shield, this one weaker than the last. Their concentration seems to be failing!
Once a creature is bloodied, then you can start with the more lethal attacks. Save the head, neck, chest, and femoral artery hits for when the creature is about to die. But by all means, stab them in the kidneys, flay some muscle from their arm, chop off one of their antennae or extra limbs. Don’t be afraid to impart status debuffs for certain hits (even if the attack wasn’t necessarily a crit). For instance, if they take a leg wound they might have slightly reduced speed as they limp around the battlefield. Perhaps you cut off their hand or shot out an eye, rendering the part useless until they receive magical healing. Here are a list of almost-lethal places where I like to describe hits that works for most humanoids:
Hit Table (1d10):
1: Eyes: blind them for 1 round if just one eye, or permanently if both.
2: Ears: deafen them for 1 round if just one ear, or permanently if both.
3: Hand/Fingers: deny them the use of that hand. If they wield a two-handed weapon, they do so with disadvantage.
4: Arms: if just a wound, give them -1 to attacks with that arm. If the limb is chopped off, obviously they can’t use it.
5: Legs: half their speed. Reduce their speed to 5 ft. if the limb is chopped clean off.
6: Belly: reduce their speed by 5 ft. and give them the Poisoned condition.
7: Lower Back: no major negative impact, but they shouldn’t lift any heavy objects for 6-8 weeks.
8: Side Torso: no major negative impact, but they should definitely have that looked at for internal damage.
9: Shoulder: no major negative impact. Make sure they wear a sling so it heals properly.
0: Butt: hilarity ensues. They can’t sit down without immense pain.
Misses
Yes, it’s really fun to hit with an attack and roll high damage dice, but people oftentimes will remember a great missed attack just as fondly. In fact, a DM that doesn’t describe a miss could risk making that player feel left out or frustrated if they miss often. So make the misses memorable and dramatic.
Keep in mind what sort of weapon they were using when they missed, or what sort of things in the environment maybe got hit instead. Heck, maybe a miss might help their situation if they break something that puts them on the advantage! Maybe they hit a support beam instead of the gnoll. You have them roll for damage, and it’s a huge amount! The support beam snaps and rocks from the old mine start to cave in a 20 ft. radius! Have everyone roll DEX saves!
Something like that works especially well on a critical failure. Always describe a critical failure in a special way, maybe imposing a debuff on the person who missed or changing the situation somehow. A comical gaffe is always welcome here, as well.
Critical Miss Ideas:
Attacker strikes a nearby object instead
Attacker’s weapon becomes damaged or broken (unless it’s a magical item)
Attacker’s weapon becomes stuck or disabled for their next turn (maybe a sword stuck in a log or a jammed crossbow)
Defender knocks the weapons from the attacker’s grasp
Attacker accidentally strikes themselves for half the normal damage
Defender rolls out of the way, repositioning themselves behind the attacker.
Personality
Accentuate the creature’s personality by characterizing HOW they perform certain actions. A duelist might stab precisely for your thigh, but an ogre might swing a club clumsily. This can lead to comical gaffes, like the duelist yelling “ha-HA! …oh?” as their sword slips past you and they fall on their face, despite you just calling their strike precise. The ogre can easily miss their swing and because of the clumsiness you described causing them to follow through and spin around, getting dizzy and confused for a turn.
Consider how the creature is reacting to their current Hit Point status. Do they clutch at their wound? Do they punch their wound and roar at their attacker? Are they unphased by their wound like an undead? Are they on the ground writhing in pain?
Diving into the character of an enemy will help you guide both their combat decisions and how you narrate the action. Here are some common fighting personality tropes:
Cocky: A cocky creature is fearless, but to an extent where they may make mistakes. They will also likely taunt their enemies.
Clumsy: Big, dumb creatures or drunken brawlers will not pay any heed to their surroundings, maybe even be easier to fall prone or fall for combat tricks.
Stoic: A stoic creature is likely able to notice everything in combat as they approach the battle logically and without emotion. Think highly-trained warriors like knights or samurai.
Fearful: A fearful attacker is actively trying to get away from or avoid combat.
Fearless: A fearless creature is what you typically see of a heroic attacker.
Gleeful: A gleeful attacker delights in violence and will do whatever they can to cause pain.
Angry: An angry attacker will fight recklessly without regard to their surroundings.
Hungry: A hungry creature is looking for a meal. If they get seriously hurt, they will likely just leave to find easier prey.
Confused: A confused creature will be on the defensive. It wasn’t planning on fighting today.
Environment
Use the environment to guide combat. Even if your players aren’t clever enough to utilize the environment, that doesn’t exclude the enemies! And hey, if players witness what the enemies are doing, maybe they will learn to follow suit or just be inspired to fight more creatively. I actually had an NPC fighting alongside the players one time. They went into a cave with some bugbears around a smoldering campfire. He first kicked some of the embers up into one of the bugbears’ eyes, blinding them for a turn. Then he kicked a bugbear over a log and face-first into the fire. The other players were simply on autoattack mode, but were thankful for the debuffs provided by the creative use of environment.
I can’t really provide a complete list for this, as there are nigh-infinite combinations of generic objects that can be used to gain an upper-hand, but here is a link to one of my older posts about using environmental factors in combat!
For more content on narrating spellcasting in combat, check out this post!
Random Potion Generator
Use this series of tables to come up with random potions! You can use this as a DM to describe an unidentified magic potion that you give your players. As a player, you can use this when you create potions as a spellcaster or someone proficient in Alchemist’s Tools. Use this with the Alchemy Profession Guide!
image credit: Vera Velichko
Potion Vessel
Every potion has to be held in something! Roll on the following tables to generate a container for your potion including its material, shape, and its seal or stopper.
Potion Vessel Shape
Potion Vessel Material
Potion Seal/Stopper
image credit: Zoltan Boros and Gabor Szikszai
Potion Description
Roll on the following tables to create a random liquid! If you want your potion to be identifiable, try adding a telling ingredient to float in the potion. For instance, a Giant’s Strength potion can have a giant’s toe inside, while a Potion of Fly might have an angel’s feather within. A healing potion might have some medicinal herbs floating inside.
Potion Color
Potion Smell
Potion Taste
How it’s Made
Randomly describe how to create the potion. Roll twice or more on the Ingredients table. Then roll once for each ingredient beyond the first on the Alchemical Processes table to determine how each ingredient is added to the first ingredient. It might be mixed in a special way or treated in a unique way before it’s added.
I should note this is for D&D fluff and narration and is not based in science. Dissolving Aqua Fortis and Mercury in alcohol will not make a healing potion so do not drink it!
Ingredients
Alchemical Process
Potion Effects
There are many existing potions, but I feel like a lot of existing spells could be made into potions. So, I added some. I based them loosely on spell scrolls but tried to move the better ones to higher rarities because potions are objectively better than scrolls (anyone can drink a potion, only casters can use scrolls).
If you roll for a potion randomly as part of a treasure hoard, be sure it’s of an appropriate rarity for the players.
a dnd campaign ft 5 chaotic neutral musicians out to fuck everything up
bards against humanity
Lol
Those lying crustaceans.
Druid : He’s as deceptive…as a lobster.
Dm: What are those delicious bastards hiding?
That's amazing. What else could be in those shells?
We got banned from the magical buffet...
DM: You’re seated at a grand table filled with delicious foods that replenish as soon as you eat them. Titanius: Can we take the food with us for our travels? DM: Yes. Titanius: I put 18,000 metric tons of toast into my bag of holding. DM: You what Titanius, looking the DM straight in the eye: You heard me Richard.
I love it when players do math.
If Earth had Saturn’s Rings
From an excellent post by Jason Davis
From Washington, D.C., the rings would only fill a portion of the sky, but appear striking nonetheless. Here, we see them at sunrise.
From Guatemala, only 14 degrees above the equator, the rings would begin to stretch across the horizon. Their reflected light would make the moon much brighter.
From Earth’s equator, Saturn’s rings would be viewed edge-on, appearing as a thin, bright line bisecting the sky.
At the March and September equinoxes, the Sun would be positioned directly over the rings, casting a dramatic shadow at the equator.
At midnight at the Tropic of Capricorn, which sits at 23 degrees south latitude, the Earth casts a shadow over the middle of the rings, while the outer portions remain lit.
via x
I didn’t know I wanted earth to have rings but now I know and am sad