ESFJ’s are literally one of the most diverse types I’ve ever seen. I still can hardly see myself as an ESFJ, I act a lot more like an INTP. However, MBTI is how you think, not how you act. And because Fe is the dominant function in the ESFJ’s stack, it can be manifested into so many different ways.Â
Fe, The Dominant Function
Many people have a misunderstanding of what Fe actually is. Ti is about understanding how all of the puzzle pieces of life fit together. Fe is about shaping yourself to fit with the other puzzle pieces. A large amount of Fe is adaptability. Fe will adapt to any and everything; people, places, atmospheres, moods, the media, and so much more. From what I’ve seen, there are two types of healthy Fe.
There is “Sensitive Fe”, which is just very sensitive to people’s emotions or a general atmosphere/mood of a group and this will cause the person to form themselves to whoever they’re around and reflect the people they hang out with.
Then, there’s “Idolizing Fe”. This manifestation of Fe is kind of like a quilt of qualities of people that they like. For example let’s say that an ESFJ with “Idolizing Fe” met an INTP, an ESTP and an INFP. After hanging around these three types for a while, the ESFJ will grow to really admire and want to be more like these types. The ESFJ might take on the analytical qualities of the INTP, the flexible qualities of the ESTP, and the creative qualities of the INFP, forming an entirely different person with an entirely different personality than they had before they met the other types. This is the main cause of diversity in ESFJ’s, it all depends on the kind of people that they hang around. If an ESFJ has all intuitives for friends, then they’re very likely to start taking on intuitive tendencies. If an ESFJ has a lot of xxTx types for friends, the ESFJ can even fake being logical and analytical, and some are VERY good at it.Â
Si, The Auxiliary Function
Many people assume that Si is about keeping up traditions and having a sort of “no nonsense” attitude but this isn’t true in all cases. Si is about using past experiences as a guide. This is yet another cause of diversity in many Si doms / aux’s.
If someone with developed Si grows up with the values of creativity, imagination, intelligence, then it’s very likely that even an ESFJ or an ISFJ can exhibit these qualities. Again, MBTI is how you think, not how you act. If an ESFJ thinks that being smart and logical and unemotional will make them feel accepted and rewarded, then you can bet that they’ll act smart, logical and unemotional.
After looking at many polls and graphs and charts, ESFJ is one of the least likely of all types to be on the internet. Which doesn’t surprise you, right? ESFJ’s are too busy taking care of their families and living life like a sheep without caring about complex personalities because their tiny, emotional, creative brains can’t handle it. This is very untrue!
I have seen so many inaccurate ESFJ stereotypes, and part of it is due to what I explained above about how many different manifestations of the functions there are. If I had gotten “ESFJ, The Caregiver” on my first MBTI test I would have laughed and clicked out and never looked at MBTI again. I’m not a caregiver. I don’t want a family or children, I don’t want a relationship. I want to be free to roam around the world and experience different cultures! I want to major in philosophy or astrophysics!
My parents and teachers raised me to value curiosity, creativity, being unique, being extraordinary, creating new experiences, being analytical, being smart. I was constantly praised as a child for being the smartest kid in the class and naturally, I fell into the geek/nerd stereotype at my school. When I first took the MBTI test about a year ago, it said I was an “INTP, The Thinker”. Naturally, I was proud of this because growing up, being smart and being logical was what made me feel accepted (Fe) and it was only tradition for me to be the “smartest kid in my class” (Si). I was so excited to be an INTP, because here was actual proof that I really was a super smart rocket scientist. And I started acting like an INTP too! I read through all of the INTP stereotypes and I used them as a guide to who I should be and how I should think.
And when I found out I was an ESFJ, I was upset. I was upset with myself, mostly, because it turned out that I wasn’t the “natural genius” that everyone thought I was; that I thought I was. But I slowly came to realize that being an ESFJ is wonderful. I can be absolutely anything I want to be. I can be funny, I can be kind, I can be brave, I can be smart. Fe allows me to adapt to whoever I need to be to feel accepted and to feel part of the group.Â
In conclusion, ESFJ’s are not all shallow and thoughtless. ESFJ’s are simply adaptable to the people they are around. Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading!
origamiaround
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
discoholicmusic
areudirty
