wandering, wondering

darling, your mind is a real bizarre.

[wizdomly]

trust yourself. you’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive this too.

[kingoverthinking]

Dec 9th, 2019

I just got my heart broken, by somebody who I thought would never hurt me. 

It’s been a month, but there’s no sign of healing. Every day is struggling. Every night is a nightmare. I really wish I can run away from all of this. 

So, today, I really don’t have the energy to deal with people. I took my day off.  I told my boss I am sick (I’m not lying, I am mentally ill now). I am sitting in a coffee shop, sipping my iced-coffee while listening to Christmas music, wishing this storm inside my head and my heart to pass.

God, please heal me. 

[kingoverthinking]

[kingoverthinking]

March, 25th 2019

And here it is, again, the dark clouds.

Miss me, eh? It’s been awhile.

I promise to god I’ll beat you.

I’ll go shopping to grocery store.

I’ll go watching a romantic comedy.

You ain’t shit.

[kingoverthinking]

March 22nd 2019

It’s Friday night! I am sitting here alone in Starbucks’s table, everyone’s flocking. I was actually with one of my best friend but he’s going home earlier because he was feeling sleepy and need to catch a flight tomorrow. 

So how everything has been? it’s my first writing on 2019, I guess. It’s really hard to write on my everyday tight schedule and yet, due to me aging, I became easily get tired, that’s my defense. No, I just a procrastinator asshole. And lazy AF. I still didn’t do most thing I thought I’d do.

Okay, where to start. what to write? I don’t exactly know, but I’m pretty grateful I still make it this far despite any sickness that I’ve been experiencing these past years. My inexplicable chest and back pain accompany me every single day of my life. I supposed to go check it on doctor, but I gave up on them because none of them could give me an clear diagnose. No one really knows whats happened to my body, yet it’s hurting everyday. I took a MRI test once, but the result showed that there is nothing wrong with my body, so why is hurting?

Okay, thats all.. my laziness attacks. I’ll tell you more later. K, bye. 

[kingoverthinking]

Dec 27th 2018

So, Indonesian Government decided to unblock Tumblr.

*happy tears*

best chirstmas gift, ever.

[sarahmariepardy-deactivated2018]

Too many questions leave me feeling uneasy unsure where I stand

Haiku #81: Questions, © 2017 Sarah Marie Pardy (via sarahmariepardy)

[kingoverthinking]

And like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again.

[kingoverthinking]

there are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late

Charles Bukowski

[kingoverthinking]

being alone never felt right. sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.

Charles Bukowski

[kingoverthinking]

the free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.

Charles Bukowski

[kingoverthinking]

those who escape hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that.

Charles Bukowski

[kingoverthinking]

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.

Charles Bukowski

[kingoverthinking]

November 22nd 2017

And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.

-unknown

[kingoverthinking]

The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.

Charles Bukowski

[qoa]

[kingoverthinking]

Yesterday when you were young Everything you needed done was done for you Now you do it on your own But you find you're all alone, what can you do?