Taking Back Autumn, Chapter 5
YO WHAT IS UP YA’LL GUYS WHO HAS A WHOLE BRAINCELL AND took about a month to complete one chapter….me! ^^’ I’m super duper sorry for the delay, personal events got in the way, but so did my general procrastination, and it really shouldn’t have-so without further ado, the fifth chapter of my collab with the (super tolerant and wonderful in general) @kingslance!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Through Heaven and Hell /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Haizaki left the Kidou Talent Agency’s property, refusing to look up from the pavement as he passed the world by. Or maybe it was just the few streets that he passed between the audition hall and his home district. The streets would be quiet there now, and anyone on them had seen him around often enough to have quit staring by now-and that always calmed him down.
Otherwise, people did stare, for a variety of reasons: they’d seen him on stage, whispered about him in the streets, or had heard of how the Devil Of The Stage had donned his horns…and lost them.
Years ago, Haizaki had joined Seishou’s school band before it had so much as a name. They were only young fools, playing around with instruments to pass the time. Some of them joined because it was a way to hang out with friends after school. Some of them joined, and actually tried to teach themselves music with youtube videos and online tips. Haizaki joined because he didn’t want to go home before his mother came, too.
His father was always home.
Thus Haizaki chose not to be.
Akane had always been more serious about music-a saving grace during weekends, or other holidays when he couldn’t count on school to be a hiding place, was listening to Akane practice with her flute. She was only their landlord’s daughter, but Akane made herself comfortable with everyone almost instantly, and Haizaki was inclined to believe that it was just how some people were: carrying music in their breath, and light in their footsteps while preforming even the most mundane tasks.
Whether it was lazing around on grass fields, or riding their bicycles outside of town, Akane would greet every new day with an agenda, a motive; a reason to keep living and experiencing the world. That alone impressed Haizaki to no end.
“The gods made everything for a reason!”, she would always say, “They didn’t make everything just so we could ignore it-c'mon, let’s go to the riverside today!”
Haizaki was never religious himself. The gods had never helped him, and so he had never bothered himself with them, either. But Akane would whisper a prayer as they left, and as soon as they came back. Wherever they went, whatever they did, she always bought her flute, and her smile. She always bought him hopes, and dreams.
She didn’t deserve to lose the National Battle of the Bands six years ago.
Her own dreams, her own hopes, were as hopelessly shattered as her hands were, just before the semi-finals.
The hands that she had raised to the gods had come down empty, and Haizaki had yet to see the heavens weep for it.
“The gods made everything for a reason!”
Why did they make her eyes go dark?
Why did they let her drown in the darkness he’d lived in before she’d knocked on the door?
If all of Heaven was against Akane achieving her dream, then Haizaki would side with Hell and take the music world by storm himself.
But no one at Seishou ever understood. They didn’t understand why Haizaki fumbled to practice with every instrument from a bass to a trumpet, to try and find one that spoke to him. They didn’t understand why he was suddenly so feverishly obsessed with becoming better. They didn’t understand why bleeding fingers and wrist pain had to become a norm.
Kidou Yuuto came into Haizaki’s world almost as suddenly as Akane did-complete with a perspective changing view of the world and what it held for him. It had been common news that last year’s winners of the Battle of the Bands was temporarily parting ways to revolutionize music for the rest of Japan, but the Absolute Commander of the Stage’s arrival at Seishou was complete shock-even for Mizukamiya, and he was the leader of the music club.
At first, his arrival rubbed Haizaki the wrong way-did the Youth Music Association really think they needed help from some outsider? Well-truth be told, if Haizaki’s numerous arguments with everyone in the club were much to go by, they did need a motivator. But not some-some glorified babysitter for the others to apologize to after Haizaki set them right while they wasted time in the studio! Throughout these encounters, Kidou watched him carefully. And while his back was turned, Haizaki could feel the composer’s eyes on him.
He didn’t care enough to respond.
After all, people stared at him all the time, for various reasons.
Kidou Yuuto however, wasn’t a gossip or a mindless listener-and proved himself as such one day.
“That’s not right.”
Haizaki looked up from the violin he was attempting to hold correctly.
“What?”
“That’s not right.”
“I know I’m holding it wrong. Move along.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Then tell me what you do mean, and leave me alone.”
“Of course. I apologize for interrupting your session, by the way, Haizaki-san.”
“Just Haizaki is fine.”
“Alright, Haizaki-san.”
Haizaki sighed then. This was going to long day if he didn’t get rid of this guy.
“What were about to tell me, anyways?”, he asked, getting to the point rather than nurture the thought of a headache after dealing with this person.
“Just that the violin really doesn’t seem to be your type”, Kidou responded, shrugging, “You want to see results that come from you being in control, not some extra peice of wood with a string.”
Haizaki raised an eyebrow, and Kidou took this as a prompt to go on.
“You make me think of someone else I know-someone who was lost and confused in the world of sound, and didn’t know where he fit into it”, Kidou paused then, and cleared his throat. Like he’d said something he didn’t mean to, Haizaki realized. So even the Absolute Commander of the Stage had his weaknesses.
“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but this music club doesn’t have a keyboard, does it?”, he changed the subject, looking around. Mizukamiya, who had kept an eye on them when Kidou walked up to him, came over.
“No, Kidou-san, I don’t think we do”, the singer thought for a moment, “We could always order one, though-I’m sure the principal wouldn’t mind, given our performance in the Battle of the Bands this year.”
“I see”, Kidou nodded, “Meanwhile, would it be suitable for you to teach Haizaki basics for piano?”
Mizukamiya was taken aback, but smiled. “It would.”
Mizukamiya was known to most of Japan as a singer-but he’d practiced piano as a child, and knew enough to instruct Haizaki. Mizukamiya was also known to be a parent friend, through and through-and Haizaki was soon to learn exactly why so. He couldn’t figure out why Mizukamiya would seek him out during lunch break to talk about classes, ask about his day, or even invite him to hang out in the evenings-but he knew that the singer’s smile was sincere. And that was all that mattered.
(Haizaki had seen enough fake grins and forced friendliness to know it when he saw it.)
When Haizaki’s keyboard arrived a week later, and Mizukamiya’s demeanor towards him didn’t change, Haizaki thought to ask him why. After Mizukamiya’s answer-consisting of a shake of the head and another one of those terrifying, sincere smiles-Haizaki went back to his tea, while his companion stirred more sugar into his own.
A few weeks later, everything began to fall into place: Seishou Academy’s music club was to preform at a park-this time, with an extra person on stage. Haizaki practiced the parts he had in each song ritualistically. He talked to Akane every single day about every detail of his role in the concert. And Haizaki swears that, once or twice, he saw Kidou’s eyes through those goggles-and saw nothing but pride reflected back. He didn’t want to lose that.
The park wasn’t packed-maybe a hundred in the crowd, tops. That was fine with everyone else-evidently, their clientele numbers were always on the lower side-this time it was a little higher due to some prestige gained during the Battle of the Bands. Mizukamiya, probably tired of watching Haizaki ricochet between yelling at band members and skulking a around backstage, sat him down on the stairs leading up to their stand. Haizaki tapped the floor with his foot impatiently, now alternating between checking his watch and glaring at the floor.
“Haizaki.”
The musician glanced up.
“You’ve been preparing for this role for two months, why are you so unsure-?”
“You don’t understand!”
“Enlighten me, then.”
“I can’t!”
Mizukamiya shook his head, and looked ahead-a cat had Orio’s trumpet, and Sasotsuka was chasing it.
“The gods made everything for a reason, Haizaki”, he said, and Haizaki’s head jerked up to look at him, “ They made you turn to the music club, they made Kidou-san see through to what you needed, and even gave me an oppurtunity to understand you.”
For a moment, Haizaki forgot about the first part of Mizukamiya’s speech.
“Understand…me?”
“Yes.”
“What’s there to understand?”
Mizukamiya laughed then, and smiled.
“You’d be surprised”, he said, evidently entertained. Before Haizaki could ask him what in hell’s name that meant, Masamichi, drumsticks in hand, came to inform them that it was time to hit the stage.
Haizaki could feel whispers and eyes on every square inch if himself as soon as the curtains parted-less than a hundred people suddenly felt like more than a thousand. Haizaki looked around instinctively for some form of familiarity or comfort-Kidou was in the crowd, watching over them, and Mizukamiya’s back was turned to him as he addressed the crowd.
For the first time since Kidou confronted him in the studio that day, Haizaki was alone again, completely alone…besides his keyboard, that is. His last companion throughout the past two months, the ticket to a better future-one without loneliness, without feeling empty, without feeling useless.
And so, the concert began.
Word spread like wildfire, and with it, Haizaki’s reputation-especially since Seishou had adopted a more rough side of music for the concert to accommodate to his playing style. He even had a title now, if the magazines were anything to go by: “The Devil of the Stage”. It was annoying, but it was what he got. His new role in the school band wasn’t without its road humps, however. Fights broke out between Haizaki and the other members; despite gaining more and more respect throughout japan now, they were still acting the same! Aloof! Uncaring! It was like they didn’t even care that they were now favorites for the National Battle of the Bands that year-!!
“That’s enough, both of you.”
Mizukamiya would always diffuse the situation. Kidou only ever watched. Orio growled and turned to Mizukamiya.
“But Saotome’s close to tears here, for crying out loud!”-Orio now pointed to Haizaki- “He’s been like that since day one-!”
“Orio-kun, please, I’ve talked to all of you about this before-”
“You said he’d probably calm down a little after a while-its been three whole weeks!”
The rest of the club shuffled and murmured in agreement. Haizaki payed them no mind.
After all, Mizukamiya understood him now.
“I…”, the singer looked around the room, then to Kidou.
Kidou kept his gaze to the walls-this was a matter for Seishou to solve.
Haizaki only looked up at Mizukamiya to indicate his attention.
“Can I ask why you argued with Saotome-kun?”
“Because he kept throwing his flute around-or using it as a drumstick, or-!”
“And why was that unfavorable for you?”
“He could have broken it, or damaged it, and then-!!”
“I-I was just having fun! I-”, Saotome interjected shakily, “I like playing in this band as much as you do-all of us do!”
“Then be more serious about it!”
“Haizaki-!”
“Mizukamiya, you know exactly what I mean! They mess around in the studio more than practice-!”
“Please, Haizaki-!”
The rest of the people in the club room turned and bent over something-a notepad and pen, by the sound of it. Haizaki simply turned away himself and payed them no mind-what were they doing now, doodling? Writing him an angry letter?
But Mizukamiya didn’t hesitate, and pelted across the room to them, speaking to one band member at a time-to no apparent avail. All he got for his efforts were shaking heads, and sad expressions.
“Haizaki, do you know what they’re doing?”, Kidou finally spoke, coming up right next to Haizaki. When he didn’t respond, Kidou answered himself, “They’re having a consensus.”
“So?”
“So, when more than half of a club in Seishou want someone out of the club, the person has to leave. They’re discussing about how many of them have had enough of Mizukamiya telling them to be patient about you.”
“What-!”
“Haizaki.”
Mizukamiya’s voice was shaking. Why was it shaking? Why did he look so downtrodden?
“As the music club’s leader”, he announced, not making eye contact, “And by the vote of more than half of the club’s members, I cast you out of the music club, please hand in-Haizaki! Haizaki, wait!!”
But the boy had already stormed out of the studio. He ran past Seishou’s gate, past streets, past the park where they’d first played, past even the Inazuma Hospital. He didn’t know where he was going-all he knew that it was away from the music club, from all of the people in it, and from Mizukamiya and the pity in his eyes.
I don’t need their pity!
I don’t need them, I don’t!
Haizaki was wrenched out of memory lane by nearly tripping where a tree’s roots popped up on the sidewalk. He continued on his way home, shaking his head-he’s only ever been that distracted while walking here once before.
And it had been all Fudou’ fault, anyway.
Rubbing his sneakers against the sidewalk, Haizaki had turned down a lane where chords trickled into the quiet evening air, like drops of water off a leaf after a storm.
A boy, in what Haizaki would describe to be skater clothes, was sitting alone at the end of desolate old lane-with a base guitar.
Ah, that’s where that sound was coming from.
He was clearly a beginner, seeing as his attempt at an F chord had every mistake that a beginner could make in it.
“You’re doing it all wrong”, Haizaki stated blandly, frowning at the other boy’s scarred fingers-if he practiced enough to have scars on his fingers from the strings, how did he not already know how to do this? Any teacher would have-
That is, if he had a teacher.
“What?”, the other boy’s voice cut through Haizaki’s thoughts, “Are you talking to me…?”
“Yes!”, Haizaki’s voice held more exasperation for himself than for the evidently self-taught musician, “You are playing it wrong, the F-chord. You’ve gotta curl your fingers a bit more and press the string down, gently.”
Haizaki saw the boy’s eyes rake the strings, then his own fingers, before trying it out himself. A steady chord flavored the lonely, evening air.
“Hey, it worked!”, the boy grinned, and played a small melody for practice. Haizaki folded his arms and grinned, too.
“What, you thought I’d be some kind of faker?”, he asked, half annoyed now. Who did this idiot think Haizaki was?
“Not really, but thanks anyway, Gramps!”, the stranger’s smirk widened, as the ex-Seishou member huffed.
“Its Haizaki to you, brat. Haizaki Ryouhei.”
“The name’s Fudou Akio. You must be really lonely or really bored to be here, Haizaki Ryouhei.”
“Same to you.”
“At least I’m a loner and know it-I haven’t ever seen you around here”, Fudou said, idly tuning his bass. Haizaki blinked-didn’t this guy know who he was? If Haizaki looked into his eyes, he wouldn’t see disappointment, or anger, or second-hand embarrassment?
“I’ve been walking around more often these days, yeah”, Haizaki finally found his voice, and leaned against the wall behind Fudou’s bench.
“You can’t be a complete dead beat though, you play music for sure”, he responded, turning to face the other boy. Haizaki didn’t reply to this, but looked away towards the skyline at the end of their lane. The trees dotting the horizon looked beautiful at this time of the day.
“Do you play in a band?”, Fudou asked, nonchalantly. Haizaki nodded slowly.
“They kicked me out”, he growled, clenching his fists at the memory. He loosened his hands after a deep breath, and continued, “I’m glad though, those guys weren’t even serious about playing music! It just pissed me off to see them playing halfheartedly!”
Fudou’s eyes widened at that, and for a minute Haizaki saw Mizukamiya through those eyes-his surprise when Haizaki confided in him about Akane, about what waited for him at home each day, about his fear of failure.
Then he blinked, and it was just Fudou again, looking thoughtful.
“What are you thinking abou-”, Haizaki began, glaring fit to make anyone in Seishou stammer and back away-only to be cut off midway by Fudou. Haizaki was inclined to believe that it was just how some people were: carrying determination in their breath, and resolve in their footsteps, while preforming even with the most low-profile opportunities.
“What do you say we form a band?”, Fudou leaned over the back of the bench, both hands grasping the back of it to keep himself stable, “The Battle of the Bands is coming up soon, and I’ve heard auditions are happening at the Kidou Talent Agency’s auditorium a few streets away-”
“Wait wait wait-you don’t even know which instrument I play-”, Haizaki put his hands up defensively, trying to calm Fudou down for a second, “and besides, isn’t there a rule that you need at least four people to sign up as a band-?!!”
“Details, details!”, Fudou swatted at the air with both hands, causing him to nearly lose his balance, if Haizaki hadn’t rushed over to pluck him away from the sidewalk with the back of his hoodie.
“We can get two more members any old time, the auditions are in just three months, we need to prepare-!”
“Slow down, you chocolate piece, you’re about to fall again-!”
Fudou did fall. And this time, took Haizaki down with him. It wouldn’t be the last time that they stumbled and tripped on their way to glory in those three months, either.
Haizaki made his way upstairs to his family’s apartment, recalling how they’d all met each other, and created mayhem in the wake of their new friendships.
To educate Haizaki about the types of bands they’d be up against, Fudou had taken Haizaki to the Sun Garden’s bi-annual concert. Backstage was where they met Hiroto, and had their first laughs together while painting every instrument in the room with the most obscene colors imaginable. Haizaki had to practically drag the other two out of the storage room before the Sun Stars found their instruments, earning him the semi-fond nickname ‘Demonic Mother’. He didn’t find this title (too) annoying.
During a celebratory party for the All-Stars, where each member of the nationally renowned band was to mingle with corporate sponsors and bring a plus one, Kidou invited Haizaki, and Haizaki met Atsuya-and at the back of the room, they formed true alliances passing snacks and fancy desserts to Fudou and Hiroto outside, then escaping the party hall itself.
Together, they’d laughed and bickered and stumbled through their friendship, and their songs. They’d all been waiting for their chance to step out from someone’s shadow, or from the darkness of their own past, their own circumstances-and were ready to help each other achieve it all together.
Pacing in his room, Haizaki paused now, and looked down to his keyboard, a loop of its bag’s strap dangling off the bed. He grinned, and scooped it back onto his shoulder, adjusting his shirt while stepping into sneakers instead of indoor slippers next to the door.
Whatever had been said back there was irrelevant-Taking Back Autumn had signed up for this contest, and were going to see it through-no matter what happened.
Haizaki reached for the doorknob-but it twisted under his fingers before he had a chance to turn it. In a flash, Haizaki’s mind fled back to the time-no, his mother wouldn’t be home now. His father? A burglar?
Haizaki looked back at the other boy-sentiments were one thing, actually apologizing for snapping and storming out the way he did was another.
But it didn’t look like Fudou came for an apology from him.
And Haizaki found that he didn’t really want one, either.
“Don’t say it.”
“But I was being a jerk-”
“So was I-”
“And the others, we need to get back with them and practice for day after tomorrow’s round-”
“Slow down, you chocolate piece, we still need to see if we’re going to be in the next round in the first place.”
Fudou grinned at the old nickname.
“Details, details!”, he swatted at the air with both hands, and Haizaki smiled too.
“We need to find Atsuya and Hiroto, though”, Haizaki leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms, but Fudou shook his head.
“When’s the last time you checked your phone, Gramps?”, Fudou raised an eyebrow, and unlocked his own phone before pushing it to Haizaki. Their group chat was open, and Hiroto had sent a text:
“Me and Bear-Granny are still at the cafe in the agency’s auditorium, where the hell are you two?”
Fudou looked lowered his phone and grinned, before turning and parading down the stairs and yelling for the world to hear:
“Let’s take back autumn!”
Haizaki sighed, and went back to putting on his shoes. He’s have to run a bit to catch up with Fudou in the state the bass guitarist was in now.
“That was so cheesy.”
“So’s your cooking, but you don’t hear me complaining, Gramps!”
“Oi! What was that about my cooking?!”