swag masta from doncasta

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the stars... ....Where you will be forced to drift aimlessly farther into the vast, empty abyss of space until a lack of food, water, and oxygen causes you to succumb to death's cold embrace. Sweet dreams, kid

[pbbbbtht-deactivated20140128]

what has four legs? a table! haha, i love to have fun

[cartiercocaine-blog]

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

[jaxblade]

Beautiful madness

[itskyalenotkyle]

When you don’t know who your robbing pt 2

[icewaterjonesforthewin]

THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR AND NOT FAR ENOUGH AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!!

[luidilovins]

GIVE THEM KIDS A BUDGET

[lsanchor]

x

[delightfuldonutdreams]

Do you ever wonder how many stories have been told about you? I don’t mean rumors or gossip. A story like “ one time I was at the mall and this girl dropped her hotdog but she picked it up and ate it” what if I’m that girl??how many times have people seen me do something I thought no one saw and is now being used as an ice breaker at a family dinner? Hmmmmmm?!???!

[helloitsbees]

one time i was in this historical park in new york and i was climbing a tree in order to get a good photo and i fell out just as a family was walking past…two years later i ran into the mom at stop&shop and she gasped and said “oh my god, tree girl?” and i’ve never been the same since

[tastefullyoffensive]

[floppy-unicorn]

Finally, a doctor we can trust.

[amultitudeofsins]

[tumbllr-fuccing-sucks-deactivat]

[thebootydiaries]

Cashier: That’ll be $4.03

Me: I only have $4…

Cashier: That’s ok, I have the three cents

Me:………..

Cashier:……..

Me: what are we?

[expressivedolphin]

Me 24/7

[avengersasvines]

Avengers As Vines |9|

*Tony and Steve fighting behind the counter*

Peter : “Can I get a waffle ? Can I pLeAsE get a waffle ??”

[andhumanslovedstories]

sometimes I’m like “my therapist doesn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know” but then I remember that I used to eat scrambled eggs every single morning because I hated them but I hated them less than I hate all other breakfast food on weekdays (don’t @ me waffles are a weekend food and they Do Not start me on a productive path) and my therapist said, “why not eat a lunch food?”

and I said, “explain”

and she said, “you know you’re allowed to eat whatever food you want in the morning. you are not bound by law to the traditional american breakfast.”

my father’s insurance pays a hundred dollars an hour for a woman to give me permission to eat a pb&j at six in the morning 

[squareclocks]

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

[fragaboom]

Crayons for the big kid. #deadpool

[lagonegirl]

Teller: To open an account I’ll need a first name. 

Me: Robin 

BT: and last? 

Me: Dabanc 

BT: So ur Robin Dabanc? 

Me:

[o-livalil]

this was one of the accounts linked to the ira i’m gonna SCREAM

[violaslayvis]

This post singlehandedly influenced the election

[sanetwin]

declaring “this is the bad place” every time you are even slightly inconvenienced is peak humor

[sonicthehedgegod]

remember that time they legit tried to have a gritty loony tunes reboot

[sonicthehedgegod]

[theawesomeadventurer]

this can’t be real

[axeystuff]

it is

[somekindofrebellion-deactivated]

i just received a text from my best friend that said “so i think i’m gay” out of literally nowhere

so i’m like “dude sweet for real just like suddenly you realized or?”

and she says “well i pretty much just had sex with a girl so”

AND THEN DOESN’T ANSWER ME FOR AN HOUR

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT AND THEN NOT EXPLAIN IT AT ALL

[somekindofrebellion-deactivated]

update: she couldn’t answer me because was still banging the girl

[fl33c3]

I wish this wasn’t so glaringly fake cause it would be kinda funny if it were real but its not real so its not funny and I’m being redundant for the purpose of conveying shut the fuck up and don’t make up bullshit for notes

[somekindofrebellion-deactivated]

i just scrolled back three months into a conversation to prove you wrong lmao bye bitch get off my fucking post

[thisishowik-roll]

THE POST GOT BETTER

[sad-n3rd]

every time i see this i sit and read the whole thing bc it just makes me laugh. every time

[liquidcoma-deactivated20160903]

finding out that my fists can be injured when punching things was a very jarring moment in my life. how can these weapons of destruction be destroyed themselves in their use? how can these hands… catch themselves…