This is just a tangent feel free to ignore I just need a way of venting.
I'm so tired just so freaking tired. I need sleep so bad because I'm still not entirely recovered, but it flares so bad at night lately. I'm hurting too much to sleep and it's just hell because I'm so exhausted but I can't get comfortable or sleep. Based off the last message from the doctor too I feel like it's getting brushed off again. I don't know how much longer I can go without definite answers though or at least something to help me not flare up almost constantly. Not to mention the side effects of the meds. I just am feeling so defeated and done right now because of all this stupid crap.
The things kids say as if a teacher or adult isn't right there is wild. It's even more wild when they then try to involve you in a conversation on said topic.
I'm deeply saddened by the news of his passing, as I can imagine a lot of people are. With his music he's inspired people for decades and we will never forget him for that. I'm deeply grateful to have lived at the same time as him, even though I never got to experience Buck-Tick live.
Now and forever, he will live on in our hearts and through his music.
I will not be around much for a while, you might see some things pop up every so often from me. Little creations I’m using to give my brain a little light to focus on right now, but I will pretty much be avoiding looking at any social media for a while. I’m not ignoring anyone or anything like that, but yeah.
MINHO’S GOING TO GET TO WHISPER SHINEE’S BACK AND IT WILL BE REAL AND TRUE BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL DONE WITH THEIR MILITARY SERVICE I KNOW WE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN BUT IM EMOTIONAL
Running into any kpop idol in the wild is an experience I'm sure, but looking up and seeing your bias 10 ft away by chance will really make your soul leave your body......
In hindsight, you should have looked up your alternate route to work before just randomly picking one. But then again, how were you supposed to know that the new route would also have a bakery? Trying to curb your addiction to baked goods was going to be more difficult than expected.
However, you would not be true to yourself if you didn’t at least have a quick peek at this new discovery. If therapy taught you anything, it was to follow your passions. And this morning, your passion just so happened to be whatever that delightful smell was.
So, you pushed open the glass door and made your way inside the warmth of the shop. Immediately, your senses were delighted with the smells of baking bread and freshly brewed coffee. In front of you stood a small, but packed display counter full of muffins, breads, pastries, and all manner of sweets.
The menu behind the counter was handwritten a little messily, but still readable as you poured over the coffee and tea options. Oh, this was both a brilliant idea and an absolute mistake. There was no way you weren’t leaving without at least a blueberry muffin and a cappuccino to go.
“Can I get you anything?” A voice jerked you out of your daydream of how wonderful a muffin sounded right about now. You looked over to the cash register where the most handsome man you’d ever seen was giving you a cheerful smile.
He was also the last man you’d expect to be working at a cute little bakery had you encountered him on the street. His dyed red hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, revealing his dark brown roots. His ears were covered in earrings, and you spied several tattoos visible where he’d rolled up his sleeves. His clothes were dark and artfully ripped, a striking contrast to the pastel yellow walls around him, and the floral apron he wore.
Oh, you were staring. Oops. You cleared your throat. “Um, yes! I’d like, uh, a blueberry muffin and…” you trailed off, eyes back on the drink menu.
“If you like tea, the green tea latte is a personal favorite of mine,” the man said. “And I promise it’s not just because it’s my specialty.”
Did he just wink at you? He definitely just winked at you. You coughed and mumbled, “Sure, I’ll try that.”
The man grinned. He packaged your muffin and drink for you, rang you up at the register, and waved as you left the store with a, “Thanks! Please come again!”
You were in such a daze the rest of your walk to work that you nearly walked right past the office building. Hoping none of your coworkers saw you, you waddled back to the building, flashing your badge at the security officer, saying, “Morning, Steve.”
He wished you a good morning too, and you joined the throngs of people dressed in their best work clothes waiting for the elevator. Finally remembering you spent money, you took a sip of the green tea latte and had to stop yourself from exclaiming out loud. It was good! Normally, this type of drink wouldn’t be up your alley, but this one was delightful. You couldn’t wait to try the muffin.
Once at your desk, you unwrapped the muffin and sighed happily as you breathed in the sweet smell. It only took one bite for you to decide you would definitely be going back to this bakery. The muffin was incredible, and somehow paired perfectly with the green tea latte. Maybe Mondays weren’t so terrible after all.
The next morning dawned cold and rainy. The perfect morning for a piping hot coffee and a warm pastry, you mused. Naturally, despite the horrid weather, you found yourself walking to the bakery once again.
And once again, you were greeted with the cheerful smile of the handsome worker, his hair once again pulled back in a messy ponytail. You couldn’t help smiling back with a shy wave.
“Same thing as yesterday?” he asked, leaning on the counter.
You shook your head. “I want to try something new. But thank you for the tea recommendation yesterday. You were right, it was amazing!”
The man beamed. “You won’t find a better one anywhere! They’re a Yuta exclusive,” he said with a wink.
You turned your head away just in case you were blushing. Couldn’t have him seeing that. But still, you were pleased. He told you his name. Yuta.
All throughout your meetings, your mind drifted to Yuta. Even long after you’d finished your coffee and strawberry pastry, you heard his voice in the back of your mind.
This worried you. After all, you had a career to focus on! Drifting away to thoughts of some pretty man who happened to know how to bake during important meetings was not like you in the slightest. You prided yourself on your impeccable work ethic, always striving for perfection, sometimes to the point of near exhaustion. But thanks to you, your department flourished. And for your efforts, the bonuses came frequently. You couldn’t complain.
And yet, there you were, drifting into Yuta’s bakery every single morning. And every single morning he greeted you with a bright smile. When the weather was terrible, he made your warm drink as quickly as he could.
“You need to warm up your hands!” he would always exclaim. You didn’t mind. You had to admit, the attention was nice.
Even when there were other customers in line, Yuta would have your green tea latte ready to go before you could decide on your morning treat. And every time you asked, Yuta had a recommendation.
You weren’t sure if it was a coincidence, but you noticed some of your favorites becoming more regular in the display as well. No, surely this was a coincidence. They were probably some of his best sellers, so it made sense he’d make them more frequently.
As the holidays approached, and the weather grew colder and grayer, you were grateful for the cheerful bakery and its warm goodies. Some mornings, you could barely get out of bed. Only the thought of a hot drink and a sweet treat could get you going. And maybe the thought of seeing Yuta helped a little. Maybe.
You couldn’t help your attraction to him. He always seemed so at ease, so comfortable in the world, as if he could ride any wave life threw his way.
You felt like his opposite: always dressed in professional clothing. It was a little stiff, but you believed in making the best first impression with your clients. And your world required deadlines and perfect reports. Yuta’s world was sugar and cinnamon, colors and laughter. Yours was spreadsheets and formalities.
No, your silly little crush was just that: a silly little crush. Yuta was merely a polite worker, intent on making a profit with his business. You weren’t even sure he knew your name.
One particularly frosty morning, Yuta decided to prove you very wrong.
Your visit to the bakery started like any other. You ordered your drink and pastry (the cinnamon rolls smelled delectable). Yuta was cheerful as always.
But as you went to check out, Yuta stopped you before you could pull out your card. “Today is on me,” he said.
You took a moment to register his words, your attention focused on his hand covering yours. Was it warm in here? “Huh?” you looked up at him.
Yuta smiled. “Today is on me. And… well…” You had never once seen Yuta hesitate. The man was always coming up with something to say, exuding confidence. But now he was almost unsure, looking away from you and fiddling with the hem of his apron. “I wanted to ask you… if you’d like to, well, I wanna take you on a date.”
A date.
A date. A date. A date?!
“I don’t have a whole lot of money, but I was wondering if you’d like to come over and, well, help me taste test? I have some ideas for the bakery, and you always seem so enthusiastic?”
You stared at him. He wanted to bake for you. For you?? Feeling your heart speed up, you realized you hadn’t said anything. Poor Yuta was looking at you nervously, hopefully.
You opened your mouth to respond when the front door slammed open. You jumped, turning instinctively to see a man in a mask, holding a knife as he stalked toward you and the register.
Before you could react, he grabbed your arm, shoving the knife at you threateningly. “Gimme all your money, or she gets hurt,” he snarled at Yuta.
Yuta’s eyes were wide, but he held his hands up. “Okay, okay, hang on,” he said carefully, moving to the register.
Remembering him telling you he didn’t have much money, rage filled you. So you did what any sensible woman would do. You grabbed the man’s arm, placed your foot against his, and flipped him over. He cried out in surprise as you took the knife from him and stood on his chest with your full weight. “Don’t move,” you said coldly.
You looked up at Yuta who was staring at you, mouth wide open. “How-” he started.
“Yes, I know martial arts. I have a stressful job. I had to unwind somehow,” you said defensively, a little embarrassed that you did all of that in your pencil skirt.
Yuta’s open mouth formed into the widest grin you’d seen him do yet. “I would very much like to kiss you now,” he said dreamily.
You flushed. “That’s very sweet of you. Perhaps you should call the police first,” you gestured to the man groaning in pain beneath your feet. You were sure your heels could not be comfortable. Oh well.
“Oh yeah,” Yuta said, turning to the phone. “But like, seriously, will you go on a date with me?” he asked before punching in the numbers.
You hid your face behind your hands. “Yes, of course I’ll go on a date with you! Please, this is so embarrassing,” you mumbled.
Yuta’s twinkling laugh would echo in your ears throughout your entire work day as you watched the clock, begging for it to move faster. After all, you had a date.
