I guess egg on my face for wanting something.

unironic kipperlilly copperkettle fan blog 🐀 emily🐀 she/her 🐀 23 🐀 avatar by @cxlandine 🐀 art of kipperlilly under the #daily kipperlilly tag 🐀 non-klck content under the #not kipperlilly tag.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

FAQ / about

I had so many feelings about KLCK that I decided to make this blog to contain them. I genuinely really like her as a character and I've been really bummed out by how a lot of fans talk about her, so here I am.

A self-indulgent FAQ about my thoughts on KLCK is under the cut. You are under no obligation to read them, obviously. But hey, in case you're wondering about the nitty-gritty of my emotions - go on ahead!

q: You know she killed people, right?

Yes. She is being infected by a god of rage and also a lot of our favorite loveable characters have ALSO done murders and also god forbid women do anything <3

q: Strawman question about the affirmative action/DEI hater Kipperlilly interpretation - what do you think of that?

I think that canonically, within the lore of D20, halflings are a colonized race who are seen as a "model minority", and I think it's a little tasteless to go that angle with her character. Purposefully calling this one a strawman question because I admittedly cannot be unbiased on this matter.

q: Don't you think it's fucked up that she was jealous of Riz's dad being dead?

yes of course it was fucked up thats the point thats what makes her INTERESTIING

Also, I must stress this: she told Jawbone about this jealousy in a private counseling session. You know. The place where you are supposed to work through your worst intrusive thoughts.

Finally, my dad died when I was 17, so I'm giving her permission to indulge in this fantasy. Guys its fine its fineeee SHE CAN RECLAIMM

q: Do you think she's right about literally every single thing?

No of course not. She's so wrong. That's what makes her interesting.

q: Do you really think she should be the student body president?

From an in-universe perspective? no she is being infected by a god of rage <3 from a storytelling perspective? absolutely. i've found kristen's campaign to be the weakest and most frustrating arc of this season by far, and i think it'd be narratively hollow for her to actually win after All That.

q: Wait, you hate Kristen's campaign? Is this a Kristen hate blog?

Yes I do, and no it is not! Kristen is an interesting case, because I really do find her interesting from an in-universe perspective. At times, I think she can be one of the most tragic and complex characters. She is just a teenage girl who has had far too many burdens placed upon her!

But when we look at Kristen as the sum of her parts, as a player in the narrative... I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the choices Ally has made. This is supposed to be the season where chaos stops being cute, and as we rapidly approach the finish line, I still don't see that promise being held.

(Also, I hate to have to pre-emptively do this defense, but: I literally have ADHD. I am aware that Ally is playing Kristen as somebody with ADHD. That doesn't change my perspective on much.)

q: What does it say about you that you preemptively made this defensive FAQ?

That I like to hear myself talk too much, and that I have engaged in far too much discourse in my youth.

q: What is your main blog?

@mozukumi :-)

[scalematey]

kipperlilly and kingston for the character asks!

KIPPERLILLY

favourite thing about them: she's SOOOOO babygirl there's so many things wrong with her. she did it all evil and she'd do it all again! she's jealous and petty and single-minded and so deeply flawed in ways that i can only be an apologist for. she's also just like vriska homestuck

least favourite thing about them: brennan lee mulligan failed to consider that teenage girls can have interiority and be groomed by their teachers. huge L for him

brOTP: i've been so sold on wizardswap that i think my answer is actually just kipperlilly and all of the rat grinders. i particularly like her dynamic with mary ann in olive's kipperlilly therapy fic i think it's really good. but yes i think she could have played off the rest of TRG really well if brennan had given them the space for that in canon. ALAS. we will never know

OTP: no real otp i think kipperbees is kinda funny, i think frostbees is really beautiful doomed yuri. i think my favourite sleeper hit is kipperadaine kismesissitude. i'm genuinely always saying this those girls would bite each other to death and i want to see it happen

random headcanon: i think she bleaches her hair blonde. this is because i'm a broad believer in asian kipperlilly of all stripes but i genuinely think it adds a little bit of characterisation to her for her to have neurotically dyed blonde hair.

unpopular opinion: kipperlilly did nothing wrong

song i associate with them: ALSO because of wizardswap (shoutout olive) but it's 'the moon will sing' by the crane wives

favourite picture of them: CHEWING MY FINGERS OFF. OK MY ACTUAL FAVE IS STILL IN WIPS BECAUSE I COMMISSIONED ZACK FOR MORE KIPPERLILLY ART SO NONE OF YOU GET TO SEE IT YET BUT. IT WOULD BE THIS ONE THAT ZACK DREW FOR ME FOR CHRISTMAS. I'M LITERALLY ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT HER I MADE IT MY PHONE WALLPAPER <3

KINGSTON

favourite thing about them: KINGSTON MY FRIEND KINGSTON!! i love how unapologetically flawed lou plays his characters. kingston is my second favourite lou character, sitting behind amethar. i love him because he is DIVORCED. well. he was. i genuinely love the brennan/lou divorce arguments they always make me giggle and kick my feet. but genuinely i love how committed lou is to letting his characters make mistakes and say things that are fucked up!! i enjoy s1 kingston a lot more than s2 kingston. s2 kingston is cute still with the baby but s1 kingston is my guy.

least favourite thing about them: more of a general flaw with TUC in general, and kingston is perhaps the most personally sympathetic of them, but i don't super enjoy the kids ever after ending of TUC2. i think it mostly makes sense for him, i just think it's a little boring for the rest of them, and certainly as a set they're less compelling.

brOTP: kingston & pete save me... save me vox duo!! i like them so much. girl if you're her boyfriend how come i'm the one with the narratively assigned foils? i think it's fun when there's conflict and disagreement within the party, and the players manage it really well here where they're both sympathetic/unsympathetic for their own reasons. and then by s2 it's like woah :) they're literally mirrors of each other!

OTP: i do think he goes nicely with liz. like there's work put into building their relationship and resolving their conflict! i like them. however someone did mention kingston slash pete to me once and i'm like hm... chewing on them a little. not ever something i want to write or actively seek to read or even think would work in canon. nevertheless there is something there maybe. a little weirder than normal.

random headcanon: having to catch up on what's popular with the kids when you're several generations out of touch makes you really bad at fortnite i think

unpopular opinion: no major unpopular opinions i think! but i think people tend to not like kingston enough because they've got yaoi goggles that centres white characters so well. lol

song i associate with them & favourite picture of them: these two actually go together it's "soldier, poet, king" by the oh hellos because of this fanart by sam!!!

(og here)

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I still desperately hope we one day get a rat grinder season like we did for the maidens. I get it cause like budget wise would be crazy but, wish junior year got something closer to the Sophomore year treatment just to explore rat grinders more.

I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand, I want more RG content. On the other, I don't... particularly trust BLeeM to tell a story about this group of characters LMAO. I feel like they will just go "the shatterstar just completely brainwashed them they had nooo free will their actions say nothinggg about them as people theyre just uwu puka shell qwoppi pet cuties. also klck is the devil incarnate".

If we ever get one, though, Vic Michaelis is my pick for KLCK's player.

[ragesstarred]

headcannons for kipperlilly

she used to keep a diary but she stopped for whatever reason (was told it was too childish, had it looked through by her parents & got in trouble, etc.) & now it all just Festers in her head forever because if she's not even safe to write it down without consequence she's certainly not safe to say it aloud.

she was taught to straighten her hair from an early age, but not from her mom specifically. i'm thinking like an older sister or aunt figure, or perhaps just from media in general doing the "ugly girl straightens her hair & gets rid of her glasses and now she's beautiful" thing. she wears contacts for the same reason.

she's been an insomniac for as long as she can remember, which only serves to make her more irritable, especially as a teenager. she uses this "extra time" to plan her campaign and kill rats in the woods, and she gets upset at the other rat grinders when they don't join her.

she thinks addiction and joining cults are just weak-willed behaviors. she also thinks people who drink specifically are stupid and have bad taste. this may or may not be influenced by the fact that she's never been popular enough to get invited to parties.

she hates when people make fun of how angry she is all the time, so instead she'll usually bring it up first to make it feel like she's in control and it doesn't make her upset.

she actually hates the color red and finds it incredibly ugly and overbearing, but of course it actually totally goes with her outfits because if she didn't incorporate it that would just remind her how shitty the rage star looks on her chest.

she's never actually felt attraction for anyone, and only expresses interest if she feels like she can gain something from them. she assumes this is how everyone goes through life, so she doesn't feel like she's being used when others do the same to her.

she was never intentionally abused, but she was mistreated in the way that most children are. never given a say as to whether she wanted to hug that relative or play with that kid so that the parents could chat. shown things in media that told her she was lesser for being female, for being a halfling, for being small. made fun of for her name and her size, and her parents teaching her by example to just grin and bear it. told that when a boy pulls your hair or follows you around you shouldn't punch him! he probably just likes you. scolded by adults and made fun of by peers for being angry at all this, because that's just how it is.

[vintricles]

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

[kipperlillyforpresident]

Today's Kipperlilly is having some Kip-to-Kip communication with Kipper Hayden!

(It is impossible to provide full context for this, but basically: Kipper Hayden is a fankid for May and Drew from Pokemon, in @kohakhearts Lemonverse. He is down bad for a spoiled little boyprince who is a fanboy for Kipper's older sister.)

[birdhouse-art]

new perspective

[kipperlillyforpresident]

i am vain enough to check the Bird App to see if anybody was discussing "V"IS on there (not that i saw, which is understandable), but I did find out that there is a lot of ongoing and still fresh TRG discussion on there, which I think is awesome. I do not want to go back to twitter but I'm glad that people are grumbling throughout the lands.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

not now kindlysolitarytwilight we are talking about my smash hit fanfiction "Victim" Impact Statement about hit character Kipperlilly Copperkettle!!! we don't have time for this!!!

[kipperlillyforpresident]

i am vain enough to check the Bird App to see if anybody was discussing "V"IS on there (not that i saw, which is understandable), but I did find out that there is a lot of ongoing and still fresh TRG discussion on there, which I think is awesome. I do not want to go back to twitter but I'm glad that people are grumbling throughout the lands.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

"Victim" Impact Statement

Content Note: This fic has Kipperlilly Copperkettle as an extremely unreliable (and self-victim-blaming) narrator discussing the topic of grooming and sexual assault. There are no explicit sex scenes, but there are frank references to sex. Please read with caution.

It can also be read on AO3.

Kipperlilly Copperkettle wasn’t anybody's victim.

She wasn’t Riz Gukgak’s murder victim. She was an enemy combatant he killed in justified self defense.

She wasn’t Ankarna’s cult victim. She was an opportunist who accepted the Shatter-Star to pursue her own ambitions. 

She wasn’t Porter Cliffbreaker’s rape victim. She was an accomplice who saw that her future God had a problem and offered herself up as a solution.

It was normal for a Divine Smite to feel like a mean orgasm. Occasionally, like a regular one. That’s what Porter told her.

It wasn’t normal for a mortal to eat ambrosia. Occasionally, there would be consequences. That’s what Porter told her.

What Porter didn’t tell her is that this newfound divinity increased his desire – to the point that Divine Smites could no longer provide him the satisfaction he craved. She figured that out all on her own.

She wanted this scheme to be a success. That wouldn’t happen if Porter was too horny to think straight. Clearly, they’d need to fix that, and having sex with her would be the fastest way to do so. That’s what Kipperlilly told him.

---

She might as well address the elephant in the room: Porter had a Goliath dick and Kipperlilly had Halfling holes. She made it work. What kind of adventurer would she be if she couldn’t handle a little pain?

---

After their first time (a quick blowjob beneath his desk), Porter said they had to keep their arrangement a secret. 

She was insulted. Did he think she was an idiot? Of course she wasn’t going to tell anybody. Her parents would immediately withdraw her from Aguefort Adventuring Academy if they found out. She couldn't become Student Body President if she wasn’t enrolled. Even if they did let her stay, the scandal would ruin her campaign.

(She knew her campaign was already dead. It had been the moment that Kristen fucking Applebees decided that she wanted to become president. Whenever a Bad Kid wanted something, they got it. 

But buried deep within her was an idealist, a pigtailed girl who believed in justice and fairness and progress. Who thought that a candidate with an actual platform would prevail over a candidate who only spoke nonsense.)

Belatedly, she realized his concern was more for his own reputation. That was understandable. He was a teacher, after all – it’d be bad optics if he was caught sleeping with a student. People would get the wrong idea. 

---

Did she like having sex with him?

Physically, no. Porter had never been concerned with her own pleasure, and Kipperlilly never asked him to be. That wasn’t relevant. She was a vessel to relieve his stress, not the other way around.

Emotionally, yes. Not in any romantic sense: their relationship wasn’t like that, and neither of them wanted it to be. It was purely business. And that’s what she liked about it – it was proof that she was valuable to the mission, that she was useful. 

---

A couple of weeks after Kipperlilly went to Hell, she was burdened with Figueroth Faeth’s company. 

“I’ll get straight to the point, Kettlecunt. I don’t like you–”

“The feeling is mutual, Pruneroth,” she snapped. When she revisited this conversation in her mind (over and over, consistently searching for what the right words would have been to make this asshole finally understand), this was always a low point for her. 

If she were a better person, she’d think that the whole thing was beneath her. If she were a better person, she’d think that fighting hate with hate (and that was what this was, hate – subconsciously and unintentional, most likely, but still hate. The kind she had been dealing with her entire life, the kind that made her embarrassed to be a Halfling) was no way to solve her problems. 

She wasn’t a better person, though. She was mainly upset that Pruneroth was such a lame insult. 

Fig looked unimpressed. “But, if you’d let me finish – I recently learned Porter was sexually abusing you. And it doesn’t matter how I feel about you as a person, I still think that’s fucked up.”

Kipperlilly explained to her that it wasn’t like that. She gave her a condensed version of the spiel: she wasn’t a victim, it was purely for the sake of their scheme, and she was the one who initiated it. 

“Wow. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there - I mean, not with Porter, but kind of similar. Wanting older men to give you romantic attention–”

“Did you listen to a single word I said? I didn’t want him romantically. I didn’t even want him sexually.” She over-enunciated each word, as if she were speaking to a small child. That was certainly what it felt like. “I wanted him to become a new God. I did whatever was necessary to make that happen, and yes, that included making him cum a couple of times. I fail to see why you even care.”

“If you’d let me speak a complete sentence before interrupting me, then maybe you’d see why!” Fig didn’t even seem mad, just disappointed. Kipperlilly was loath to admit it, but Fig had a point. She pantomimed zipping her mouth shut, and motioned for her to continue. “First of all, pretty much anyone is going to care if they learn a high school teacher sexually assaulted a student. I know you don’t want me to call it that, but that’s what it sounds like to me. Second of all, it doesn’t, y’know… feel great to send a kid your age to eternal damnation? The Shatter-Stars were a valid reason to get the rest of the Rat Grinders pardoned, but it didn’t count in your case, since you asked for it. But this could be a way to get you out of Hell, if I argue you only did it because you were groomed. And you want to get out of here, don’t you?”

Against all odds, Kipperlilly did not immediately flip out at Fig. Instead, she took a moment to consider her words. Mainly the last part, about her potentially getting a pardon. And while Kipperlilly couldn’t be convinced that she was a victim (she knew better)... whose to say that she couldn’t scam whoever it was that had jurisdiction over her soul?

It was a tempting prospect. But an impractical one. 

“Of course I want to get out of here,” Kipperlilly begrudgingly admitted. “But it’s not going to work. You already said the Shatter-Star wasn’t enough to get me out of here, so there’s no way this business would. My deal with Ankarna and my deal with Porter were basically the same: I offered my body willingly and they accepted it.”

“But that’s different,” Fig immediately said. Kipperlilly wished that she had pretended to think about it, at least.

“How?”

She looked at her pityingly. “It just is.”

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I cannot overstate how meaningful the response to this fic has been to me. Y'all have been so incredibly kind and receptive, and I am so happy that this fic has found such an audience.

A few extra details that didn't make it into this fic, that may or may not come up in a (theoretical) sequel, that I thought some people might find interesting, are under the cut.

Something that I genuinely did not consider when writing this fic, but I have now come up with an answer which might be the focal point of the theoretical sequel: how the fuck did Fig learn about Kipperlilly's sexual abuse?

The answer is Jawbone. Somebody (not entirely sure who it would be) went down to Hell to interview Porter. (This may or may not have been done because KLCK's parents are trying to sue Aguefort Adventuring Academy). They put him under Zone of Truth, and the sexual abuse was one of the things he confessed.

This information made its way to Jawbone, who then became extremely worried that his own teenage daughter who spent one-on-one time with Porter was also a victim. He started to ask her questions about if Porter had behaved inappropriately towards her. (She said no. She did not consider the conversations about "mean orgasms" to be inappropriate). But she started to wonder why he was asking these questions.

Either Jawbone eventually caved and told her OR she got Riz to steal files related to this. Once she got the information, she spent a night stewing over this information, and went to visit KLCK the next morning.

Either way, KLCK is not going to be thrilled about this. This means that a lot of her least favorite people are learning about her most intimate secrets.

It never made it onto page, but I also considered having KLCK insist that she had power over Porter, actually, since she could hold their sexual relationship over his head as blackmail. (Tracy Flick and all.)

I'm not entirely sure if KLCK even knows that Fig is a paladin of Ankarna? But I'm not actually sure she would hold this against her. She'd think of Fig as a hypocrite (weren't they both drawing power from Ankarna, at the end of the day?) for sure though.

If you are hungry for even more "V"IS Extra Content, you can also find more commentary on this post and in the comments on AO3.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

There are a lot of wonderful and super compelling designs for what Kipperlilly might look like if she got brought back from Hell. But I've been thinking on it, and I've settled on my own headcanon. Which is that she doesn't get a cool new haircut or burn scars or demonic traits.

I think she just gets a really bad sunburn. Well, not technically "sun" burn, since it wasn't the sun that gave it to her - but you get the idea.

(This headcanon absolutely not inspired by the fact I got sunburned this weekend. What are you talking about? That's a complete coincidence.)

[kipperlillyforpresident]

Have you watched revolutionary girl utena? Will you watch revolutionary girl utena? When will you watch revolutionary girl utena.

(Joke but your fic made me think you would like it and I’m always recommending it to people hehe.imagine if kipperlilly was treated well by the narrative)

I did start watching RGU...! ... with my ex-girlfriend. We broke up before I could finish it LMAO

(I do plan to eventually finish it someday, I swear. I know it is relevant to my interests.)

[birdhouse-art]

fan art for "Victim" Impact Statement by @kipperlillyforpresident !!! the definitive kipperlilly fic . hope you continue it op

[kipperlillyforpresident]

"Victim" Impact Statement

Content Note: This fic has Kipperlilly Copperkettle as an extremely unreliable (and self-victim-blaming) narrator discussing the topic of grooming and sexual assault. There are no explicit sex scenes, but there are frank references to sex. Please read with caution.

It can also be read on AO3.

Kipperlilly Copperkettle wasn’t anybody's victim.

She wasn’t Riz Gukgak’s murder victim. She was an enemy combatant he killed in justified self defense.

She wasn’t Ankarna’s cult victim. She was an opportunist who accepted the Shatter-Star to pursue her own ambitions. 

She wasn’t Porter Cliffbreaker’s rape victim. She was an accomplice who saw that her future God had a problem and offered herself up as a solution.

It was normal for a Divine Smite to feel like a mean orgasm. Occasionally, like a regular one. That’s what Porter told her.

It wasn’t normal for a mortal to eat ambrosia. Occasionally, there would be consequences. That’s what Porter told her.

What Porter didn’t tell her is that this newfound divinity increased his desire – to the point that Divine Smites could no longer provide him the satisfaction he craved. She figured that out all on her own.

She wanted this scheme to be a success. That wouldn’t happen if Porter was too horny to think straight. Clearly, they’d need to fix that, and having sex with her would be the fastest way to do so. That’s what Kipperlilly told him.

---

She might as well address the elephant in the room: Porter had a Goliath dick and Kipperlilly had Halfling holes. She made it work. What kind of adventurer would she be if she couldn’t handle a little pain?

---

After their first time (a quick blowjob beneath his desk), Porter said they had to keep their arrangement a secret. 

She was insulted. Did he think she was an idiot? Of course she wasn’t going to tell anybody. Her parents would immediately withdraw her from Aguefort Adventuring Academy if they found out. She couldn't become Student Body President if she wasn’t enrolled. Even if they did let her stay, the scandal would ruin her campaign.

(She knew her campaign was already dead. It had been the moment that Kristen fucking Applebees decided that she wanted to become president. Whenever a Bad Kid wanted something, they got it. 

But buried deep within her was an idealist, a pigtailed girl who believed in justice and fairness and progress. Who thought that a candidate with an actual platform would prevail over a candidate who only spoke nonsense.)

Belatedly, she realized his concern was more for his own reputation. That was understandable. He was a teacher, after all – it’d be bad optics if he was caught sleeping with a student. People would get the wrong idea. 

---

Did she like having sex with him?

Physically, no. Porter had never been concerned with her own pleasure, and Kipperlilly never asked him to be. That wasn’t relevant. She was a vessel to relieve his stress, not the other way around.

Emotionally, yes. Not in any romantic sense: their relationship wasn’t like that, and neither of them wanted it to be. It was purely business. And that’s what she liked about it – it was proof that she was valuable to the mission, that she was useful. 

---

A couple of weeks after Kipperlilly went to Hell, she was burdened with Figueroth Faeth’s company. 

“I’ll get straight to the point, Kettlecunt. I don’t like you–”

“The feeling is mutual, Pruneroth,” she snapped. When she revisited this conversation in her mind (over and over, consistently searching for what the right words would have been to make this asshole finally understand), this was always a low point for her. 

If she were a better person, she’d think that the whole thing was beneath her. If she were a better person, she’d think that fighting hate with hate (and that was what this was, hate – subconsciously and unintentional, most likely, but still hate. The kind she had been dealing with her entire life, the kind that made her embarrassed to be a Halfling) was no way to solve her problems. 

She wasn’t a better person, though. She was mainly upset that Pruneroth was such a lame insult. 

Fig looked unimpressed. “But, if you’d let me finish – I recently learned Porter was sexually abusing you. And it doesn’t matter how I feel about you as a person, I still think that’s fucked up.”

Kipperlilly explained to her that it wasn’t like that. She gave her a condensed version of the spiel: she wasn’t a victim, it was purely for the sake of their scheme, and she was the one who initiated it. 

“Wow. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there - I mean, not with Porter, but kind of similar. Wanting older men to give you romantic attention–”

“Did you listen to a single word I said? I didn’t want him romantically. I didn’t even want him sexually.” She over-enunciated each word, as if she were speaking to a small child. That was certainly what it felt like. “I wanted him to become a new God. I did whatever was necessary to make that happen, and yes, that included making him cum a couple of times. I fail to see why you even care.”

“If you’d let me speak a complete sentence before interrupting me, then maybe you’d see why!” Fig didn’t even seem mad, just disappointed. Kipperlilly was loath to admit it, but Fig had a point. She pantomimed zipping her mouth shut, and motioned for her to continue. “First of all, pretty much anyone is going to care if they learn a high school teacher sexually assaulted a student. I know you don’t want me to call it that, but that’s what it sounds like to me. Second of all, it doesn’t, y’know… feel great to send a kid your age to eternal damnation? The Shatter-Stars were a valid reason to get the rest of the Rat Grinders pardoned, but it didn’t count in your case, since you asked for it. But this could be a way to get you out of Hell, if I argue you only did it because you were groomed. And you want to get out of here, don’t you?”

Against all odds, Kipperlilly did not immediately flip out at Fig. Instead, she took a moment to consider her words. Mainly the last part, about her potentially getting a pardon. And while Kipperlilly couldn’t be convinced that she was a victim (she knew better)... whose to say that she couldn’t scam whoever it was that had jurisdiction over her soul?

It was a tempting prospect. But an impractical one. 

“Of course I want to get out of here,” Kipperlilly begrudgingly admitted. “But it’s not going to work. You already said the Shatter-Star wasn’t enough to get me out of here, so there’s no way this business would. My deal with Ankarna and my deal with Porter were basically the same: I offered my body willingly and they accepted it.”

“But that’s different,” Fig immediately said. Kipperlilly wished that she had pretended to think about it, at least.

“How?”

She looked at her pityingly. “It just is.”

[ratgrinders]

the grooming implications are all over kipperlilly's story and it's almost cathartic to see it made explicit here. when you look at canon and the wider discourse around her you see a tendency to overstate the amount of agency she would have realistically had in her situation, so something about dialing porter's actions up to the extreme and applying the same logic of kipperlilly being an "active participant" (via kipperlilly's internal monologue and brazen description of events) only makes more obvious the flaw in her thinking and the horror of porter's actions.

one small moment that i think really cinched this for me while reading was that, since it's been so long since i've watched junior year, i'd forgotten some of the details. the start of the paragraph that describes how porter told kipperlilly divine smite feels like a mean orgasm invoked such a visceral feeling of disgust within me at such a flagrant display of grooming, and then i remembered that wait, this was an Actual Thing porter said in the Actual Show. its the type of thing that gets brushed off as a joke in the moment, until you have reason to recontextualize all these prior instances of porter canonically being poor at maintaining boundaries with his students. the actions porter takes in this fanfic are not far off from what he already canonically does, and that's what makes this fanfic work really, really well for me.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

😭😭😭 THIS IS SUCH A KIND REVIEW WTF. Thank you so so much! I'm so glad this fic landed.

A part of what I wanted to examine through this fic is the concept of "she asked for it". Because, in a very literal sense, it is true! That is one aspect of KLCK's narration that I did not intend to be unreliable. She was the one who propositioned Porter. Likewise, she was the one who asked him for the shatterstar.

But this logic falls apart pretty much instantly when it comes to the sexual abuse. Because any reasonable adult, when presented with a teenager who offers to have sex with them, is going to say no. That's just obvious. And so what does this tell us about Kipperlilly and the shatterstar?

AND YES! THE ORGASM LINE! I actually misremembered that bit of canon when I was first writing this (I misquoted it as "angry orgasm" in my head), but it was such a visceral moment that I had to include, and I'm so glad it had the intended impact.

Again, if we want to do some parallel reading with KLCK and Fig - Fig is the one who brings up the idea of orgasms. She "started it". But Porter is the one who asked her "how did it feel?". From a Doylist POV, it was obviously Emily who came up with the idea of smite = mean orgasm, and Brennan was just "yes, and"ing her.

But from a Watsonian POV! Holy shit! Porter, a guy who has smited plenty of damn times, who knows fully well that a Divine Smite is going to feel like a mean orgasm and potentially a regular one, is asking this teenage girl how her first time felt. The erosion of boundaries!!

(You'll notice that in the fic, Fig is able to identify that she has had improper boundaries with older men and romance before, but is unable to identify that she had any similar experiences with Porter. She even directly says Porter WASN'T one of these men.)

Again, thank you so so much for leaving such a kind review <3

[kipperlillyforpresident]

"Victim" Impact Statement

Content Note: This fic has Kipperlilly Copperkettle as an extremely unreliable (and self-victim-blaming) narrator discussing the topic of grooming and sexual assault. There are no explicit sex scenes, but there are frank references to sex. Please read with caution.

It can also be read on AO3.

Kipperlilly Copperkettle wasn’t anybody's victim.

She wasn’t Riz Gukgak’s murder victim. She was an enemy combatant he killed in justified self defense.

She wasn’t Ankarna’s cult victim. She was an opportunist who accepted the Shatter-Star to pursue her own ambitions. 

She wasn’t Porter Cliffbreaker’s rape victim. She was an accomplice who saw that her future God had a problem and offered herself up as a solution.

It was normal for a Divine Smite to feel like a mean orgasm. Occasionally, like a regular one. That’s what Porter told her.

It wasn’t normal for a mortal to eat ambrosia. Occasionally, there would be consequences. That’s what Porter told her.

What Porter didn’t tell her is that this newfound divinity increased his desire – to the point that Divine Smites could no longer provide him the satisfaction he craved. She figured that out all on her own.

She wanted this scheme to be a success. That wouldn’t happen if Porter was too horny to think straight. Clearly, they’d need to fix that, and having sex with her would be the fastest way to do so. That’s what Kipperlilly told him.

---

She might as well address the elephant in the room: Porter had a Goliath dick and Kipperlilly had Halfling holes. She made it work. What kind of adventurer would she be if she couldn’t handle a little pain?

---

After their first time (a quick blowjob beneath his desk), Porter said they had to keep their arrangement a secret. 

She was insulted. Did he think she was an idiot? Of course she wasn’t going to tell anybody. Her parents would immediately withdraw her from Aguefort Adventuring Academy if they found out. She couldn't become Student Body President if she wasn’t enrolled. Even if they did let her stay, the scandal would ruin her campaign.

(She knew her campaign was already dead. It had been the moment that Kristen fucking Applebees decided that she wanted to become president. Whenever a Bad Kid wanted something, they got it. 

But buried deep within her was an idealist, a pigtailed girl who believed in justice and fairness and progress. Who thought that a candidate with an actual platform would prevail over a candidate who only spoke nonsense.)

Belatedly, she realized his concern was more for his own reputation. That was understandable. He was a teacher, after all – it’d be bad optics if he was caught sleeping with a student. People would get the wrong idea. 

---

Did she like having sex with him?

Physically, no. Porter had never been concerned with her own pleasure, and Kipperlilly never asked him to be. That wasn’t relevant. She was a vessel to relieve his stress, not the other way around.

Emotionally, yes. Not in any romantic sense: their relationship wasn’t like that, and neither of them wanted it to be. It was purely business. And that’s what she liked about it – it was proof that she was valuable to the mission, that she was useful. 

---

A couple of weeks after Kipperlilly went to Hell, she was burdened with Figueroth Faeth’s company. 

“I’ll get straight to the point, Kettlecunt. I don’t like you–”

“The feeling is mutual, Pruneroth,” she snapped. When she revisited this conversation in her mind (over and over, consistently searching for what the right words would have been to make this asshole finally understand), this was always a low point for her. 

If she were a better person, she’d think that the whole thing was beneath her. If she were a better person, she’d think that fighting hate with hate (and that was what this was, hate – subconsciously and unintentional, most likely, but still hate. The kind she had been dealing with her entire life, the kind that made her embarrassed to be a Halfling) was no way to solve her problems. 

She wasn’t a better person, though. She was mainly upset that Pruneroth was such a lame insult. 

Fig looked unimpressed. “But, if you’d let me finish – I recently learned Porter was sexually abusing you. And it doesn’t matter how I feel about you as a person, I still think that’s fucked up.”

Kipperlilly explained to her that it wasn’t like that. She gave her a condensed version of the spiel: she wasn’t a victim, it was purely for the sake of their scheme, and she was the one who initiated it. 

“Wow. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there - I mean, not with Porter, but kind of similar. Wanting older men to give you romantic attention–”

“Did you listen to a single word I said? I didn’t want him romantically. I didn’t even want him sexually.” She over-enunciated each word, as if she were speaking to a small child. That was certainly what it felt like. “I wanted him to become a new God. I did whatever was necessary to make that happen, and yes, that included making him cum a couple of times. I fail to see why you even care.”

“If you’d let me speak a complete sentence before interrupting me, then maybe you’d see why!” Fig didn’t even seem mad, just disappointed. Kipperlilly was loath to admit it, but Fig had a point. She pantomimed zipping her mouth shut, and motioned for her to continue. “First of all, pretty much anyone is going to care if they learn a high school teacher sexually assaulted a student. I know you don’t want me to call it that, but that’s what it sounds like to me. Second of all, it doesn’t, y’know… feel great to send a kid your age to eternal damnation? The Shatter-Stars were a valid reason to get the rest of the Rat Grinders pardoned, but it didn’t count in your case, since you asked for it. But this could be a way to get you out of Hell, if I argue you only did it because you were groomed. And you want to get out of here, don’t you?”

Against all odds, Kipperlilly did not immediately flip out at Fig. Instead, she took a moment to consider her words. Mainly the last part, about her potentially getting a pardon. And while Kipperlilly couldn’t be convinced that she was a victim (she knew better)... whose to say that she couldn’t scam whoever it was that had jurisdiction over her soul?

It was a tempting prospect. But an impractical one. 

“Of course I want to get out of here,” Kipperlilly begrudgingly admitted. “But it’s not going to work. You already said the Shatter-Star wasn’t enough to get me out of here, so there’s no way this business would. My deal with Ankarna and my deal with Porter were basically the same: I offered my body willingly and they accepted it.”

“But that’s different,” Fig immediately said. Kipperlilly wished that she had pretended to think about it, at least.

“How?”

She looked at her pityingly. “It just is.”

[kipperlillyforpresident]

did you know gaming?

Kipperlilly Copperkettle is mentioned one time on Porter's wiki article, in the following context:

Adaine determines that Porter received a telepathic message and is able to determine that an invisible Kipperlilly passed by Porter as he flung The Bad Kids back.

I find it so interesting that's the only time they think it is relevant to mention her! Very interesting.

[rotomartsblog]

KLCK WIP