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[b-salamander-deactivated2023021]

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[hyrude]

ive eaten shrimp exactly 5 times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self-restaint, and each time has ingrained itself in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. i thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as i write this post now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this eresto’s bathroom after eating half a baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to shellfish, i realize perhaps the issue is not with a higher power, but with a deeper one. biology.

[completely-legit]

Modern prose.

[billbuttlicker-]

[sirheisenberg]

[lesbianrey]

when you’ve been carrying around an empty plastic bottle for 2 hrs because you can’t find a recycling bin

[memecage]

[neopoints]

me n the girls walkin into target headed straight to the clearance bread rack

[luxurypeach-deactivated20160720]

[unclefather]

and i think to myself…. what a wonderful worm

[cherryseltzer]

[trashcannie]

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

[jasperzilla]

You missed some of the best ones

[vladtheunfollower]

[pleatedjeans]

[cybercrimer]

forbidden snacks

[recentgooglesearches]

would an alien think im pretty

[mmmdiary]

memo

[paperbeatsscissors]

eat your veggies

[frogconnoisseur-remade-deactiva]