Beautiful soul

[kirei-yume]

I'm working tomorrow,

planning to eat

lasagna

coffee

rice w sides (whatever the fnb place is feeding me tomorrow)

[kirei-yume]

had lasagna, two chicken mini pies, mozzarella bite.

Fried rice,

tang yuan

coffee,

x4 cheese triangles with x3 packs of plain crackers, some grapes

instant noodle w egg

[kirei-yume]

Half samyang + egg, (est 350)

2 cheese cubes + 1 large prawn cracker, (~210)

2x egg + cheese slice + 2x bread + thai chilli sauce (~410)

Fried chicken w rice (est 500)

2x ice latte (300)

~1770kcals

Whew its a lot.

Walked 17k steps though and garmin says that its about 1.2k activity calories burnt.

Which is funny because yesterday i walked less, 12k steps, but i was carrying heavy stuff back and forth and trying to do it fast while climbing up and down stairs on a ship and garmin tracked me burning 1.4k calories from activity.

Maybe i shouldn't have gotten a gym membership. I should just work on ships and dedicate my life to the sea to lose weight.

I'm so tired. My shoulder hurts. My old injuries ache. My feet is tired.

[kirei-yume]

Hi!

Today i ate - 4 dumplings, cheese w crackers, noodles, coffee, chicken rice, 2x coke zero, soft pretzel, half a cake

[kirei-yume]

16/31

Woah i can't believe i stopped checking in for so long. I'm still alive, i didn't quit, this is still a long term process that i'm staying for even if i may forget or lose track of time. The past few days have been busy, school and work basically. But i'm still here.

Today i ate:

2x bread + egg + chili sauce + cheese slice

Noodles

Spicy chips + handful of cashews

wingstop chicken + fries + coke zero

If i can't commit to everything else like tracking calories, i can at the very least write down what i ate.

[kirei-yume]

Hello, i got quite busy with work, fnb is really tiring. But i just want to pop in and say that my weight is 71.6kg atm, and that I'm within calorie maintenance at max, even though I'm not hitting my protein levels.

[kirei-yume]

6/31 (Yesterday)

My body was really sore, woke up around 3pm.

Eat between 12pm - 10pm: Um i ate after 10p, i was watching shows late into the night and wanted food to go along with it.

Protein: 65/75g

Log food + kcals: 1,949kcals (truffle chips x3, samyang 0.5, egg, 1 tempeh slice, rice + chicken, 3x chocolate, 0.5 instant noodle, 0.5 egg, 0.5 mango)

Exercise: 1/8

[kirei-yume]

6/31

The guy that i was talking to, I ended up breaking it off with him. when he asked for more clarification, i told him that the way he talks about my body is very gross and objectifying. He blocked me without apologizing. I guess that's who he is.

I'll go to the gym tomorrow.

Eat between 12pm - 10pm: i had chips at 12am because let me be sad a little ok

Protein: 80/75g

Log food + kcals: 1243kcals (truffle chips x2, mocha, rice + chicken + broccoli, protein drink(just 5g protein tbh), protein shake)

Exercise: 1/8

[kirei-yume]

5/31

Forgot to post for yesterday, was really tired after exercising and just needed to spend time alone away from my pc.

I ate in the morning because i went to the hospital in the morning for a check up and just needed food to start the morning.

Eat between 12pm - 10pm: failed

Protein: 78/75g

Log food + kcals: 1225kcals (baked beans, x2 toast, latte, salmon don, protein shake)

Exercise: 1/8

[kirei-yume]

4/31

My body is fueled by ritalin and cortisol right now. Hate it when friends change plans last minute and totally not give a shit when you can't make it. like at least try to be sorry???

I have things to keep me occupied so i'm blessed in a sense.

Today I want to spend 30mins on my assignments. Didn't finish it yesterday, but doing small bits everyday is surprisingly effective for me.

I also want to clean my wardrobe at night. maybe I can try watching Schmigadoon or 2 broke girls. I've been watching reels of them and been wanting to start on it.

I didn't sleep well last night, i need to start using melatonin again. Ended up sleeping around almost 7am. I also ate after 12am, but I had half of the instant noodles instead of cooking the full thing. I always found it a little crazy how korean instant noodles are twice the calories of regular instant noodles because of how huge the noodles are. Surprisingly, i felt satisfied by just eating half. Had it with eggs.

Maybe instead of it being confusing and writing what i did the next day, i'll just edit this post as the day goes along. It'll be easier for me to track it like that.

Eat between 12pm - 10pm: failed

Protein: 80/75g

Log food + kcals: 1285kcals (0.5 Samyang cheese, egg, earl grey milk tea, chicken breast, chicken breast, reeses minis x3, mac and cheese, florentine)

Exercise: 0/8

[kirei-yume]

3/31

I think the whole posting in the morning thing isn't working out hahahah

I met a guy today who told me that he finds my body really flattering. guys, i wavered for a second. But no, i'm not going to stop just over a guy i literally just met.

- Protein: 76/75g

- eat between 12pm - 10pm: So far so good

- log my food and calories: 1,640kcals ( Chapati + keema, 3 dough fritters, yoghurt, ice lemon tea, 2x breaded fish tacos)

- exercise for at least 8/31 days: 0/8

[kirei-yume]

2/31

Today I aim to finish my assignment!

Yesterday:

- eat at least 75g protein a day: 68grams

- eat between 12pm - 10pm

- log my food and calories: 1,414kcals (pesto toast, chicken rice, cheese tart)

- exercise for at least 8/31 days: 0/8

[kirei-yume]

1/31

HIII, it's not morning for me, but i had a really bad rest today so that's why.

Today I aim to do at least half of my school assignments so that I don't have to stress myself out!

I took my weight, i'm 72.5kg!

[kirei-yume]

29+30+31/31

Was scared to post because i ate 4,144kcals that day.

- shrimp wonton soup

- grilled cheese sandwich

- 2 eggs, 1 sliced cheese

- 2x porridge

- ice cream

- egg tart

- 1 regular pizza

The next day, i ate 1730kcals

- cheezels

- beancurd

- porridge

-pesto pasta

- 2 ferrero roche

Today i had about 1385kcals

- porridge

- noodles

- pesto on bread

- different noodles

- ice cream

I think pushing myself to log helps me desensitize and deescalates my emotions attached to the food I ate.

Today marks the end of my 31 day challenge, and tomorrow I'll be starting a new challenge. My goals for that challenge is the following:

- eat at least 75g protein a day

- eat between 12pm - 10pm

- log my food and calories

- exercise for at least 8/31 days. I'm still recovering from my surgery at the moment so I'm not going to push myself too much on this

- log in the mornings to start my day with a renewed focus

[kirei-yume]

27+28/31

So yesterday I had 2 servings of porridge, soy milk, mac and cheese

Today I had lasagna, 1 serving porridge, 1 serving ice cream, and 1 instant mac and cheese

I feel kinda restless because I want to exercise, but I don't want my wound to open up. Like my throat is still really swollen, and I can't even speak properly. My uvula is hanging really low and swollen, and my attempts to speak is very weird. I feel like a deaf person speaking.

i'm also concerned about not getting enough protein, and losing muscle, and not moving around.

But it's no point being sad or wishing. Some things I can do right now is

take short walks, maybe hit 5k

do my school assignment now so that i can have fun when i'm healed

read books

ensure that i'm below my calorie limit

I've also been really excited thinking of an exercise plan for myself.

I don't really have a target or a body part to focus on because I want to be strong cohesively.

I'm thinking of something like this:

i'm hoping to do around 4-5 exercises each day, with a max of 90mins spent at the gym. So its a total of 5 days at the gym, low weights but high reps

Day 1 - Glutes + 30mins cardio

Day 2 - Lats/back/arms + abs

Day 3 - Glutes + 30mins cardio

Day 4 - Rest

Day 5 - Glutes + abs

Day 6 - Lats/back/arms + 30mins cardio

Day 7 - Rest

I feel like it would be doable since i'm still jobless atm :') I just want to get better in some way so that i don't get stuck in a jobless limbo.

[kirei-yume]

26/31

I feel some throbbing in my throat, i'm feeling very 50/50 on whether i should be more active, or if i should just rest home since i literally have two incisions in my throat atm(tonsil removal).

Today I had

2 servings of ice cream,

2 servings of porridge,

1 serving instant chicken noodles.

A family member cooked the porridge for me and she used coconut milk in it? and i coughed up so much phlegm because of it. lord save my throat.

Ugh I really wish I could drink an iced latte right now.

[kirei-yume]

25/31

I feel so blegh. My tongue is swollen from the surgery. Chewing is okay, but the use of tongue is bad. so its easier to just eat mushy soft stuff.

Yesterday I had instant chicken noodles w egg

instant porridge

instant mashed potatoes

ice cream x2 serving

1 bread

1 mushroom soup

1 aloe vera jelly cup