someone else might have gotten it wrong

hazel ☆ 23 ☆ horror author, physical chemistry graduate student, 在学习中文

[ms-demeanor]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[saffronhare]

This is so radically kind, thank you

[ms-demeanor]

You’re welcome!

Life is short, kindness is what we’ve got.

When my mom died it wasn’t exactly unexpected but it was still sooner than we all thought it would happen. It was a huge punch in the guts and the thought of making things and not being able to show her and share them with her still hurts but in that first month it was like drowning.

So I made this for her, and shared it with and showed it to other people who are hurting, because my momma didn’t raise a quitter but she sure did raise a softhearted fool who wants everyone to feel a little more loved and a little more worthy and a little less alone.

I love you. Take care. Be kind.

[gothiccharmschool]

This is important, useful, and so very damn kind.

[deactivated-user-123]

combined digital and traditional media for this piece,, pretty happy with it,, : D

[1-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

*running down foggy street dodging monsters personified of my sins* aaaaa lol

[prokopetz]

Science fact: owing to a misunderstanding by early researchers in the study of emotional currents, the terminology for the polarity of emotional states is “reversed”; emotional energy flows from negative emotional states to positive emotional states, rather than vice versa as one might intuitively expect.

[logarto]

younger sibling mindset is genuinely enjoying watching someone else playing video games for hours on end

[sesiondemadrugada]

Saitou Kazu.

[anxietyproblem]

[minty-mayhem]

I find it kinda funny

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[knuckle]

@white allies: because i see constant self-deprecation based on your whitness, here’s a detailed explanation of why it’s not helping us (or you).

if you continously go on about how horrible white people are, you may rot your own brain into thinking that these shortcomings are a natural state of being rather than a manufactured supremacist system which is simultaneously widespread, evil, and capable of being dismantled. 

recognizing that you have the same human compassion capabilities as everyone else, regardless of how alienated from them you have become, is the first step toward becoming a better person capabable of helping other people (of color).

don’t mirror the way that PoC talk about you as an oppressor class. the context is different, and the mindset that you develop from it is different.

don’t fall into a mindset where you (act as if you) are a morally compromised being for being white. the ultimate end of antiracism is to denaturalize racial hegemony, including virtuous moralization of the “oppressed”

evaluating your engagement in racism & the benefits you receive from white supremacy is only one piece of this process. the other piece is interacting with other people (of color) as if they are indeed the same species as you.

so instead of demoralizing yourself, look at your actions to determine if they are compassionate. academic stuff aside, this is often a good litmus test for racism; even the unintentional you will soon realize was often a failure to conceptualize how your actions would affect others- not a failure by some innate aspect of your race but by the normalized lack of consideration whiteness may afford you

[star-plasma]

[asteroidarsonist]

say what you want about soul eater but NOTHING properly conveys the same emotion as the face people make after interacting with excalibur

[asteroidarsonist]

y’all ever felt this

[valtsv]

me when i'm with other people: i am loved 😌

as soon as i'm alone: but am i 😰

[puukkolesbo]

no emotional object permanence

[valtsv]

[cosed]

absolutely love in school where theyre like “this child is obviously mentally ill but they get good grades so who cares”

[cosed]

and then theyre like “well they suddenly got bad grades so they will be sent to the counselors once, then no one will ever talk about it again”

[theweirdwideweb]

[love]

by Joa Stenning

[inferior]