kirsteen

hi there. 21. 3d vent. please don't report, just block💙🌊

[kirsteenhere]

hi, I'm kirsteen.

I'm 21 and struggling with an 3d and I'm in a desperate need of a safe space where I can let all my thoughts out.

please don't report, just block me. I do not support 3ating d1sorders, they're awful to experience and i would never wish this on anyone but I need safe platform because 3ds come with a lot of shame that prevents you from talking about it to people who are not experiencing the same thing, to have a community that understands is important, you are not left feeling alone at this.

I went from obese to normal bmi by losing 32kg/70lbs in a half of a year.

height: 165cm/5'5(?)

hw: 90kg/198Ibs

cw: 57kg/126Ibs

gw: 55kg/121Ibs

gw²: 52kg/114Ibs

ugw: 48kg/105Ibs

I'm just on a calorie deficit, nothing extraordinary and trying my best to eat instead of just ⭐ving because I need to keep up with my work and pay the bills lol.

I would also like to find some friends, moots to chit chat.

also important to me to mention that english is not my first language, learned it and did not have much practice so far, so excuse my stupid mistakes or anything like that.

love 🌊

[bloomingbeetles]

y'know the biggest tip I've ever discovered, through absolutely everything I've tried over the past 6 years, is truly as simple as do the best you can! don't go from 0 to 100. you'll end up making less progress by constantly overexerting yourself and constantly binging, slow loss is better than no loss after all!

besides, what are you going to do when your weight plateaus? you're already as deep as you can get, you have nothing else to go to. you need to take things in levels, you need to have planned solutions to the amount of plateaus you're going to experience before hitting your ugw. you cannot start from regular eating to regular 3 day f@sts because then what? all that's left to do is gain when you plateau, and you'll probably end up gaining more than you originally lost which is obviously not what we want!!

I know it's hard to be patient, but honestly you're going to get there a million times quicker if you take it slow I promise. be patient and kind to yourself, don't obsess over all the mistakes, and you'll find yourself making less mistakes naturally

[kirsteenhere]

I'm so depressed lately. like i always am but usually i kinda know how to cope with it but now I'm a fucking mess, what's going on?

[dxllycxrpse]

"one day won't ruin your progress" yes but it's not just one day, is it? it turns into a week, and then a month, and then you're right back where you started. and you're looking for how to escape the cycle, so you cut your calories in half and track your steps, and you think you're finally doing better, but then the cravings hit. you just can't help yourself. just a bite. and two more bites, and two more pieces, and ten more servings. but it's okay, because one day won't ruin your progress, right?

[kirsteenhere]

it always upsets me that i can't die without breaking my mom's heart

[kirsteenhere]

i literally can't fucking eat anything no more I'm so scared, I'm genuinely so scared of this.

[kirsteenhere]

omg why i can't fucking breathe

[kirsteenhere]

fuck fuck fuck I'm so anxious all the time I'm panicking fuck this

[kirsteenhere]

so pathetic

i had a whole "i can't do it anymore, I'm gonna rеcover" day until i made myself have a full mеal and i fucking panicked and thrеw everything up. I can't. fucking hell.

[kirsteenhere]

it's genuinely the worst I've ever been.

[kirsteenhere]

so pathetic

i had a whole "i can't do it anymore, I'm gonna rеcover" day until i made myself have a full mеal and i fucking panicked and thrеw everything up. I can't. fucking hell.

[kirsteenhere]

10 kgs till ugw sounds like I'm gonna lose my fucking mind before getting it even tho I've already lost 32.

imagine if i succeed i will like literally lose almost 1/2 of my weight before wI. crazy to think about.

[kirsteenhere]

currently living in a "i should get worse in order to get help" mindset

[poison-barbzz]

You know for somebody who let's their ed rule their life, I sure do suck at having an ed

[kirsteenhere]

maybe i should just go ahead and diе from this fucking dlsorder

[kirsteenhere]

I'm tired of having tantrums over smallest оmаds, maybe i should just liquld fаst for as long as can. just for the sake of not having to fucking cry over food. stupid.

[kirsteenhere]

genuinely don't want to fucking live, I'm tired of living with this stupid disordered brain, it's exhausting.

[kirsteenhere]

I'm so tired, will i ever be normal?(