kiss my flash

sharp shooting pen wielding  good cooking french speaking coffee drinking book devouring pop culture consuming canadian

[kissmyflash]

On a whim I booked a cruise for my 40th birthday. Before I got Covid onboard I did a tour of Tracy Arm Fjord. While I’m still suffering from long Covid five months later, the chance to see the icebergs, glaciers, and orcas was incredible.

I mean, not worth the radical change to my health and definitely something I should have waited a few more years to do. But those seven hours on a catamaran made the rest of the cruise worth it.

[hydeordie]

It’s good to see you. Take your coat off, stay a while.

[kissmyflash]

I’m… back?

Just a little five year break.

It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I definitely am not having a social media identity crisis.

[kissmyflash]

I'm not a film critic. Except for the time I was totally a film critic.

[kissmyflash]

Not much of a Faraci story. I was at Franklin & Company and he came up to me and commented on my breasts out of nowhere. I was sitting at the bar with my friend, and I told him to go away. He went back to his group of friends, but constantly leered at me until we left. It was uncomfortable. I only mention this because it was a "recent" encounter (Summer 2015), and he WASN'T drunk from what I could tell. He had this child-like sense of entitlement in his voice like i should have been honored.

Thank you for sharing your story. Each of them matter, because even if it was only one night for you, if the next night it was someone else, and the night after that, and so on, all those voices would think “it wasn’t much” but together it’s massive. Women being treated like meat, and men feeling entitled to treat them like meat, is everywhere in society. To chalk this misogyny up to alcoholism is insulting. Especially when half the population has to deal with this for most of their lives.

Kat

[kissmyflash]

Belle’s Story - The Misogyny of Devin Faraci, the Alamo & Working as a Female Film Critic

After my story went public I offered my blog to be used for any other woman who was targeted by Devin Faraci, the Alamo Drafthouse, or misogyny within the film community at large. I promised that I would allow them to stay anonymous, and simply print their own experiences in their own words. Today I received an email from a woman asking to have her story heard. It is her hope that by being the first to come forward anonymously others might be empowered to do the same. For the purpose of keeping each story straight they will be given an alias inspired by a character in film.

This story is from “Belle”* (*it should be noted the point of these stories is not to try to name the woman, but to hear her story. Please don’t try to “figure it out”.) I wrote for a number of outlets, more years ago now than I care to count. 

The tale of my days of film journalism are depressing and sordid. Sexism and misogyny isn't just rampant, it defined every interaction.  For example, editor has a plus one, and he offers it to you. "You can come as my date." "Or I can come as your friend?" "You can come as my date." Oh, and he's married. Once, I was very upset at a nasty, sexist comment left in my comment field calling me "a fucking gash." I begged them to delete it, and ban the user. "Sweetie, it's not like it is racism." And yes, I blasted him for calling me sweetie. I put up with it for my entire, short career thinking “Well, it’s just locker room talk and I want people to think I’m cool, so I won’t let it bother me.”  And then you realize no, it’s the reality and when you reject these guys, you’re done.  To confront them was to be told they were joking and be gaslamped into thinking they had harassed you at all. Faraci and I were, I thought, friends. He reached out to me in my early days, and I was beyond thrilled and flattered.  He was a big name. He championed my work, he encouraged people to read me on Twitter and I really thought he was one of the good guys. I constantly defended him against detractors, quoted his scoops and gave him press. In my view, most of my colleagues were unpleasant guys who couldn’t say a nice word about me or my work, routinely harassed me and exposed me to harassment, but were happy to call themselves feminists. Faraci, on the other hand, was a vocal defender who would call out the trolls they wouldn’t.  And we all mimicked his snarky, bully tone. He set the voice for film criticism at that time. Faraci and I hung out at events. Very friendly. He flirted and complimented, and I felt like I saw this sad, sensitive side of him that he didn’t let on to many people.  I remember messaging him and telling him something encouraging about his weight, and he thanked me and said I was very sweet.  Again, I appreciated his support and camaraderie on a very cruel Internet. I already detailed my exceedingly polite rejection of his advances (to the Daily Beast). What I'd like to stress was how nauseated I was the next day -- not only from the alcohol but what almost happened.  I thought well, today will be awkward but I am sure he’ll be cool about it.  We’re adults, we were drinking, it happens and we are friends. But he never spoke to me again. Not on the set visit itself, not after, never again.  He unfollowed me on Twitter. He shunned me.  We could be in the same room together, and he wouldn’t make eye contact or say hi, I was completely invisible.  It was beyond uncomfortable and hurtful. What happened was not rape or assault, but I felt like garbage. I was made to feel as if I'd done something wrong.  Of course, it was nowhere near the level of assault or even harassment, but as a woman, it gets really tiring to feel BAD for not having sex with someone. And it never really went away.  In my last gig,writing for yet another editor who assumed his own female staff was fair game, I was told “Well, see, I was told you fucked Faraci.” I’ve never known where that piece of gossip originated. Devin himself?  The editor who called me up on that fateful set visit, heard Devin in the background, and said he’d tell everyone I slept with him before cackling and hanging up? Even when I myself went to work for a branch of the Alamo, and Faraci KNEW I worked for his same company, he still shunned me. It was a pretty blatant snub, and one that didn’t exactly go unnoticed.  Drafthouse patrons knew me and my work.  I’d be called out at dish pit because they recognized my voice from podcasts.  “Why don’t you write for BMD?”   “Eh, not interested."  It's conjecture as to why, but i felt strongly that one rejection was the reason. Amusingly, he once passed me in the hallway of Drafthouse while I was carrying dirty dishes, and actually said hi, but it was because he didn’t recognize me at all.  I joked about it with some friends — as I recall, I made a Les Miserables joke about having fallen so far into the gutter that my old colleagues didn’t even recognize me. Devin heard about it, and was angry that I hadn’t identified myself. When I reached out and said “Well, it was me, hi Devin,” he never even acknowledged me. There is simply no way Tim League didn’t know about Devin’s so-called dark side, or ever believed he was some sturdy feminist.  Faraci’s work on CHUD was full of T&A and oogling. He proudly shared a video clip of himself gawking at Scarlett Johannson’s butt.  He had a profile picture of himself looking down a Medieval Times wench’s dress — and it was the replacement for the profile picture of himself gaping at a booth babe who was wearing nothing but duct tape. This was Devin.  This is all of online film culture, this is the Drafthouse.  When they introduced their new female programmer, who was set to focus on girl friendly programming, her official Drafthouse photo was of her in tiny underwear/shorts, sucking on a lollypop in her pink bedroom. I should stress that I’ve never interacted with League directly. I worked a franchise, so we had our own GM and owners. There has been a lot of ugliness with the Alamo’s franchising, and just what League will claim to have knowledge of or direct action in.  I do know that Tim seems to have a persistent death wish to keep bad blood around. I had a lot of fun working for the Drafthouse initially.  I started before they even broke ground, and helped them run their outdoor events publicizing their theatre. I loved everything they stood for.  When they opened officially, I applied to work as a server. That’s how badly I wanted in. But, to my delight, my past efforts for them were remembered and I was moved from food to programming. For its first summer, I was basically its creative department, though “officially unofficial." I had confidence this nebulous position would be permanent. One day, the boss calls me up and tells me he is hiring a new Creative Manager, and I’d have a new boss. I was never offered the position, told it was open, nothing. He listed the candidates he'd rejected -- one of whom, he complained, never showed up to the events that were meant to be his audition. These were events I had worked -- I'd organized them! Why weren't they my audition? Now, to be entirely impartial, maybe I wasn't a good fit. Maybe they were dissatisfied with my work. I had never been given that feedback or impression, though. Quite the opposite. The distinct feeling I had was "You're not the bearded guy who is our audience." And sure enough, I walked in one day and I had no job. But, I was still loyal! I happily went to work at box office. And I scrubbed their bathrooms and wood paneling.  Anything to stay within the Drafthouse and hope I could work back up to a creative or programming position.  Not surprisingly, that never happened and due to the abusive management, I quit. Amusingly, when I needed a second chance from the Alamo — and had been promised I would always be welcome  — I was told they would not renew their relationship with me.  Second chances are not, it seems, for everyone. Now, it's probably unfair to say that in that I have no relationship with League. He didn't personally reject me. I’m sure he doesn’t know the particulars.Yet he always knew when our bathrooms were shut down for cleaning, and would fire off an email wanting them reopened within the hour.   But that’s the mystery of League and the Drafthouse. Somehow, no one is in charge when someone is getting hurt, and a lot of people got hurt there.  Somehow League is “above it all,” too big for the daily grind of the Drafthouse, except when suddenly he isn’t. This probably reads like I have an axe to grind…and hey, I do. It has eaten at me for years that one factor that separated me from terrific gigs was that I didn’t sleep with the right people or wasn't the typical Drafthouse dude.  Was it the only factor? No. But it's the one that shouldn't even exist in the 21st century. It makes me angry that Faraci is not the only predator, and that all of these guys still have great gigs while many were forced into new lines of work. It is appalling to me that Faraci's superiors felt that non-movie work wasn't good enough for someone of his stature.  Plenty of talented writers are working food and retail. Many juggled these jobs while writing because the pay was so poor. Why was he better than anyone else? And that is a question that lingers like a stink over the whole field. Look at the female voices in comparison to the male. Ask why so many women, who were so prominent in the early days of online film writing, are gone now.  Ask why the same guys get chances again and again. Faraci is not the only offender, but the fact that he WAS one for so long says volumes about who he is, the world he works in, what the Drafthouse enables.

[kissmyflash]

The strange case of film blogger Devin Faraci, Alamo Drafthouse CEO Tim League, and several alleged victims who wanted their voices to be heard.

I did not want to be on the record about this. I made (and deleted) comments in a small group that were then taken out of context and strung together as quotes. When I was asked for “proof” I provided a screen grab, that I then deleted, but clearly not fast enough. Without my knowledge it was spread around, on facebook, twitter, reddit, and used by publications. There wasn’t even an attempt to blur my name. No one wants to be on record with their full name for something like this and have it follow their search history forevermore. But I am also very aware that there were other women with stories far worse than mine who should have a voice. If by allowing my story to be told, on the record, it gives them some solace then it is something I must do. The article by Amy Zimmerman is quite thorough. These are my final thoughts on the matter... In an industry that commodifies female bodies it’s unconscionable that a known sexual harasser would be allowed to have a platform anywhere to espouse his opinions, with or without a byline. Film critics have the power to influence public discourse with their work. It is my hope that a permanent absence of Devin Faraci’s voice will start a conversation about misogyny and the importance of diverse representation in film and its surrounding communities. I am offended for the addicts in my life at the way sexual assault and sexual harassment are being conflated with addiction in the statements by Faraci and League. Assault, harassment, and misogyny are the products of access and privilege. Where are the actions to correct the misogyny? Where are the books being read, the advice from prominent feminists being sought, the actual changes to the system?

I do believe that people should be given support to change, especially those who have been suffering from untreated mental illness and addiction. There has been no evidence that Devin has changed his behaviour towards women, in fact just the opposite with his review of “It” this week suggesting that the 15 year old star would be objectified in “creepy Reddit threads". A review I was stunned even existed as I had believed his career as a writer was over.

Having a voice is a privilege, one that Faraci abused. To see him continue in a profession that other equally talented writers dream of surrounded by all the trappings of fame and celebrity only reinforces that in 2017 white men can do no wrong. They’re free to grab life by the pussy, while their victims at best are ignored and at worst harassed anew. Many thanks to those who have reached out to me in public or in private to voice their support. It has meant a great deal in a complicated week. Tim League apologized to me earlier this week. I have had no contact with Devin in any manner.

[kissmyflash]

Wont Magazine - Thank You

Last Wednesday the Kickstarter campaign to launch Wont Magazine came to an end. To say that we fell short of our goal would be an understatement. In truth, we never came close.

The reason I chose Kickstarter was because the premise of funding a new type of journalism was based in part on community support. In order for the magazine to work long-term, there would need to be a supportive base. It was a revolutionary idea, considering subscription and advertising revenues have been the model for over a century. But it was one that I felt would be more sustainable for a future ever increasingly built on social media and free platforms.

In fact while Wont Magazine failed, I don’t think the premise of a new model for funding magazines is wrong. I believe we were just a bit too early, and our voices a bit too quiet. There is no doubt in my mind that in a few years new paths for funding content will be solidified.

I would like to take this time to personally thank those who contributed to Wont's Kickstarter. Whether through pledging their own funds or by working hard to get the word out. You all have meant a great deal to me, and the support you’ve given will never be forgotten.

The past five days I’ve taken to reflect on what went wrong with the Kickstarter campaign, and whether or not I thought Wont could find new life in another format.

Coming up with the concept for Wont, as well as a new funding model to sustain a magazine, took me nearly ten months. And another two to run the Kickstarter. It was not something I approached lightly. As such I wanted to have time to mull over what went wrong before jumping into anything right away.

One of the main criticisms people had was that Wont wasn’t attached to an image. It was suggested that I would be better off using my own personal health story and building a brand for Wont to function as a lifestyle site. There are many reasons why I didn’t pursue this. Some of them are personal, but mostly because I didn’t feel it served the greater good. I specifically wanted to create a magazine that focused on journalism, not personal anecdotes. It was never meant to be a blog, but a digital platform for reliable information. The intention was not to focus on one disease, but to educate people about a variety of issues and allow them to make their own choices. It’s why Wont included topics of physical and mental health as well as the environment.

With that in mind I’ve made the decision to officially declare the Wont Magazine project complete.

While I am, of course, disappointed I am grateful to have had the opportunity. I hope that those who supported the concept of Wont will continue to seek reliably sourced journalism, and will strive to live a healthy and informed life.

With most sincere gratitude,

Katherine

[kissmyflash]

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Friends, Tomorrow I will be closing the Wont Magazine project, as well as the Citizen Summary page. While there will be formal updates for each, I wanted to take a moment to thank those of you I know personally. Your support and encouragement through all my various projects have meant the world. One of the recurring critiques I found with Wont was people saying it should be focused on my personal story. My intent was never to make it about me. I wanted to help people. But the repeated request for a "personality" and demand for a "face" has given me pause. While I have never been shy to voice an opinion (solicited or otherwise), I am not particularly comfortable being in the spotlight. I have suffered with stage fright and camera shyness since I was about 16. While I have never thought twice about sharing writing or photographs, sharing my face is a different story. As social media has evolved so has the role of "influencer". That special title given to those who make money from blogging and sharing ideas. Only now it's not enough to produce quality writing and images, you as a person must be a brand. I find myself in a catch-22. I am a storyteller by nature, it's not something I can turn off. Or as my mother put it, "you've been giving opinions since before you knew the word." Over the years I've honed the skills to be a storyteller in different art forms. I have enjoyed it immensely. But the career aspect has always been just a step out of reach. Be it the bad timing of the economy, or changing industry, or technology, I've always been out of sync. But if I want to do it seriously going forward I would have to take the step and put my face on it. I have spent the whole of my adult life pursuing nothing but career. I haven't travelled, or enjoyed fancy things, or pursued relationships. I can't say that I am giving up being a storyteller, I don't think that's an option. But I don't know that I will be doing it for public consumption anymore. Over the next while you may notice me withdrawing from social media. Not unplugging per say, but stepping back. I'm not sure what a life that isn't all about career is going to look like. Again, thank you all so much. Those of you who taught me and encouraged me. Who read my words and looked at my photos. Being an artist is very hard, and it kept me going in the times I wanted to quit. ❤️ Katherine

[kissmyflash]

16 years. That's how long I've had a blog. Before that it was message boards and a tripod page. Before the Internet it was a paper 'zine. My high school yearbook and newspaper, bad teen poetry, hand printed photos. And before that acting. • But for modern purposes, I'll call it 16 years. Of sending my thoughts and images out into the void. Nearly two decades of impermanent expression of self. • I have the luxury to have grown up with technology. I can remember life before it, and when I need to, I can retreat from it and regain a sense of stillness. • I love technology. As a storyteller it's as natural as a first language. There are so many benefits to understanding the world at large. But as an individual it can also feel quite empty. • Not empty as in shallow, but rather empty as in a theatre with no audience. • I wonder if those growing up now will see it the same. Perhaps it's only this way for those of us with a foot in both analog and digital eras. • 16 years. Now what? • • • #writing #90skid #blogger

[kissmyflash]

The first member of my family tree came to Canada from Scotland in 1752. The most recent was my grandfather who was born in 1910 in Newfoundland, which at the time was still a dominion of England. (They didn't join Canada until 1949.) 🍁 My ancestors incorporated cities, started businesses, worked the railways and fisheries, built buildings, founded charities, funded political parties, served as police officers, and fought in wars. 🍁 The family tree spans 5 provinces and both official languages. 🍁 I am so proud to be Canadian. 🍁 But I also know that my Canadian experience is not shared by everyone. There is still work to be done. While we provide a welcome refuge for those who have had to flee their homes on one hand, we must also acknowledge and repair our relationship with the people who inhabited this land first. I believe we live in a country where both of these conversations can coexist. That we can be proud but admit we aren't perfect. 🍁 Happy Canada Day! Here's to another 150 years, may they be even better than the last. 🍁 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦 #happycanadaday #canada150 #canada #geese

[kissmyflash]

Spending my 35th birthday playing Scrabble with @agednotold (I'm up 2-1). Because I'm very very old now. I mean, 35 is practically a senior citizen on the internet. I was alive before email. (The horror!) • • • #scrabble #words #birthday

[kissmyflash]

Happy National Aboriginal Day!

In watching a video by Wab Kinew this morning I'm stunned to hear some of the stereotypes and misinformation used with regards to our First Nations, Métis & Inuit. I've never heard any disparaging remarks myself, but I have to assume if it's common enough for CBC to make a video about it, somewhere in the country this is a regular occurrence. When I worked with the news I regularly had the chance to cover the stories of some of the First Nations that surround the Fraser River. They were lovely to me and I was welcomed into their longhouses and taught traditional games with a smile. I hope in the future we will work together to make all of our lives better. To celebrate and respect the cultures and histories of everyone who lives in Canada.

[kissmyflash]

Fathers & fezzes...

Me: Dad is threatening me with sushi farts in the car. I've been dadnapped. He's spotted Shriners. We're never going home.

Mom: Hahaha. Remember it's Father's Day.

Me: Maybe I can hot wire one of their tiny motorcycles.

[kissmyflash]

Absolutely in love with the special #canada150 coins the @canadianmint is surprising us with. #beaver

[kissmyflash]

OH at the autoshow:

Father: We’re going to see the Batmobile. That’s Batman’s car.

Son: Batman’s car is here?

Father: Yup. And the guy who made it.

Son: Wow, Spiderman is going to be so jealous!

[kissmyflash]

7 years ago I has an assignment to photograph the Batmobile & the man who made it. 

I remember watching reruns of Batman as a kid, sandwiched between Gilligan’s Island, Get Smart and I Dream of Jeannie.

RIP Adam West

[kissmyflash]

Wont. No apostrophe.

I keep a journal, old fashioned pen & paper. A green Moleskine, unlined. I don’t write in it every day, just when I feel the itch.

In an attempt to nail down when exactly the idea for Wont Magazine originated I flipped through last year’s journal and came across an entry from June 9th at 3pm. Exactly one year ago to the hour.

This is part of what I wrote:

So clear have conclusions become lately. Is this what it is to be in my thirties? The teens a decade of questions, the twenties a decade of experiments, the thirties one of conclusions.

Words and pictures will always be my home. My mind, when it travels to the highest ideal life it can fathom, I would still want to tell stories. I would still want to document life and create images. My brain has never left the idea of the “new magazine”. The bridge between print and digital. I imagine a new kind of journalism.

A digital space that hosts content for the month and changes like flipping a page in the calendar. Blink and you miss it, forcing people to stop bookmarking things for later.

A podcast of course, maybe a photo slide, yearbooks, everything you missed on the site. Eventually brick and mortar. Come and buy our books. Come and listen to a live recording. Come to an invite only event. If you build it they will come.

Digital has left thoughts so scattered. Conversations are impersonal. Let them come and feel a piece of it. Let them come and feel a part of it.

That afternoon idea propelled me forward, the first bits of work starting. Then last September I finally opened up about living with a disease for 11 years. The response was shocking, women and men alike opened up to me about their own battles. It was then the “new magazine” idea was given a purpose.

And so I worked. And worked. And read everything I could about media, journalism, and crowdfunding. I pushed myself to think of new ways to run a publication that didn’t rely on old funding models. Notebooks were filled, and still I worked.

And here we are.

A year later and I’ve just completed my first week running a Kickstarter campaign to make Wont Magazine a reality.

A magazine about mental, physical, and environmental health. For all ages, genders, sizes, and abilities. That will employ diverse contributors. And will be available every month for free so that those who need access to information no matter what is in their wallet.

My first instinct is to say something modest like, “It’s so surreal! I’m so lucky!” but instead I’m going to take a page from one of my favourite podcasts Show Your Work. Getting to this point wasn’t luck, it was work. It was hard, albeit rewarding, work. 

It’s the next part that will take some luck. Meeting my goal of $1.5 Million. Of course I’m not one to rely entirely on luck, especially when I have the hustle on my side.

Dreams can come true, if you work for them.

-Katherine

If you want to learn more check out wontzine.com

You can also click the Kickstarter link above, or look for us under “journalism” from Kickstarter.com

Also make sure you check out Show Your Work wherever you get your podcasts.

[kissmyflash]

chapter 29

Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix

Idioteque - Radiohead

Hot Summer Night - Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

White Room - Jefferson Airplane

Kill of the Night - Gin Wigmore

Help I’m Alive - Metric