This has been sitting in my docs for awhile. I don’t really know what this is, it started off as a blurb for a friend and took a turn into some kind of grayson x reader angst(?) pandemic concept.
tags & warnings: angry grayson, pandemic concept, mentions of smut, possibly bad writing
The sound of his heavy footsteps echoed across the wooden deck of the porch and into the cool dusk New Jersey air as he paced eagerly back-and-forth. His hands, tingling with frustration and anger, tried hopelessly in vain to close his dark flannel jacket around his strong torso in a bid to shield himself from the crisp night breeze while staring out into distance. Lost in thought, Grayson could feel his heart beating ruthlessly again his chest as he attempted to calm himself down with a few deep breaths; his hand running his fingers through his hair as he exhaled steeply. Walking towards the end of the porch, his eyes strained out into the remote wilderness that surrounded his family’s farmhouse for any sign of familiarity that might come down the long winding driveway. Glancing down at his phone screen, there were no new messages or missed phone calls. It had been close to an hour since he last heard her voice and the words that they had exchanged were mean and so unlike them. In his mind he felt that she had taken things too far and for reasons that he clearly didn’t understand quite yet, he felt justified in his anger and feelings of divide. In a world of his own, he stood silently with only the croaking of the frogs for company while a chilly breeze gently blew through his unusually long dark hair.
“She’s not picking up,” announced Ethan from the warm comfort of the kitchen while peeking through the window at his brother who was steadily pacing the length of the front porch. “It’s going straight to voice mail and her inbox is full.”
“Maybe she doesn’t have cell service?” questioned their mother Lisa in a tentative tone.
“Or maybe she’s ignoring him,” whispered Cameron beneath her breath while sitting patiently at the kitchen island, twiddling her fingers as a way of distraction from the night’s unsettling events.
“She wouldn’t do that to us,” defended Ethan while placing his phone down on the kitchen countertop, making sure to keep it screen side facing up just in case she had decided to call or message him back.
“She might do that to Grayson,” retorted Cameron. “Let’s face it, he’s just spent the last couple of hours screaming at her into his phone, she’s ignoring him. I know I would.”
“We don’t know the full story. We need to stay out of it and let them sort it out themselves,” stated Lisa while taking a seat next to Cameron, her motherly tone trying its best to soothe her children. “As difficult as that might be for us to do.”
“Ma, she just tried to take Bailey away from him,” offered Ethan quietly. “We know that for sure and I think anyone would react the same as Gray right now given the situation.”
“Yeah, but she was never going to get very far,” defended Cameron. “All international flights are grounded, there’s government orders for us all to stay at home.”
“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,” proposed Lisa, her New Jersey accent becoming more pronounced the tireder she felt.
“I don’t get it,” stated Ethan while leaning against the countertop, his fingers tapping impatiently against the smooth marble. “She’s running between Jersey and New York City. She’s working crazy hours at the hospital. New York’s going under, this whole pandemic is fucking with everyone…even those who seemingly have their shit together. What if this doesn’t end well?”
“E, don’t talk like that!” Warned Cameron, her eyes wide with fear. “There has to be more to this than Y/N just wanting to take Bailey back to London.”
“Yeah, well tell that to Grayson,” retorted Ethan while keeping a watchful eye on his twin brother through the window.
“Mama, are we almost home?” questioned Bailey from her car seat stationed in the back of your black SUV.
“Yes, baby,” you reply softly while your eyes stare out into the distance as you drive along one of the many back roads of Long Valley.
“I’m tired,” yawned Bailey softly, her eyelids dipping heavy while trying to fight off sleep.
“We’re almost there, sweetheart,” you whisper while reaching a hand back to gently squeeze her little foot in an attempt to comfort her. “Just another ten minutes or so and we’ll be back at Lollie’s”
“Will Gizmo be awake?” asked Bailey optimistically.
“Maybe,” you respond. “And even if she’s happily sleeping, you’ll still be able to see her in the morning.”
“Daddy’s awake,” you answer flatly, a feeling of dread washing over you.
It had been well over an hour since you last spoke to your husband. You had both been exasperated, frustrated and bewildered by how much anger had erupted from between you. You had tried unsuccessfully to explain yourself, your feelings of frustrations and your fears to him. Grayson has not wanted to hear any of it. You were trying hard to keep things together emotionally, amid a pandemic that few inside your profession saw coming, you found yourself completely worn-out and near non-emotionally responsive. For the past month you had been walking around trying to sell optimism to anyone who dared ask how things were going and yet inside you felt anything but optimistic. You had spent countless hours driving between New Jersey and New York City, the bottom half of your face clad in a mask almost 24 hours a day. Your hands were rubbed raw from the constant use of hand sanitizer and its strong alcoholic smell had seeped into almost every pore of your body. No matter how many times you washed your hair or scrubbed your body with soap, all you could smell was disinfectant. Living solitary in your mother-in-law’s basement, you could see your husband and child, but you couldn’t touch them. Even with your mask on, you always had to stand at the very least six feet apart. Glancing in the rear-view mirror at Bailey, you marvelled at the fact that it had taken you so long to crack and then you wondered whether that made you a good mother or a bad one. A good wife or a bad one. A dedicated doctor or one that had been stripped of all emotion.
Suddenly, your phone screen lights up with an intense bright light that illuminates the car. Yet another message from Ethan asking you to call him back. But what were you to say? You had always thought highly of Ethan, and you had always gotten along so well. In the very beginning it felt more like you and Ethan were a much more compatible match as you both had a similar sense of humour and a companionship that always seemed to flow organically. It’s funny the way things had turned out and how some people had come into your life with the only purpose of teaching you how to let them go. Ethan was one of those people, but he was the most complicated of those people.
Peeing through the windshield you could see the closed gate of your mother-in-law’s farmhouse in the distance. Dusk had fallen into darkness and you could hear light drops of rain begin to splatter against the windows and roof of the car. Except for your headlights which lit the narrow road with a gentle glow, the road and surrounding world was dark and ominous. The wind was blowing through the trees and even from inside the car you could hear the leaves rustling against one another.
With his back turned against the night air, Grayson finally heard the familiar sound of gravel crunching against tires as the familiar sight of her car slowly made its way down the dimly lit driveway. Rushing towards the front of the house, his eyes adjusted past the headlights to a familiar face sitting in the backseat. His mind devoid of thought, he found himself rushing for the passenger door, pulling it open, and breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of his daughter bundled up and asleep in her car seat. Without saying a word, Grayson reached in to unbuckle her seat beat and lift her small body to his.
“Daddy?” whispered a sleepy Bailey.
“Yes, baby. It’s daddy. You’re home,” soothed Grayson while cuddling his child close to his body and placing a tender kiss on her warm forehead. With one arm supporting Bailey under her posterior and the other pressing her close to his muscular chest, Grayson carried her towards the warmth of the house, relieved to have this baby girl back by his side.
Nestling into her father’s neck and shoulder, Bailey had drifted back to sleep by the time Grayson had climbed the fifth stair up towards the laundry room. After tonight’s events, Grayson wasn’t even going to entertain placing Bailey back into Cameron’s bedroom where she had been sleeping while they were quarantining at his mother’s house. Instead, she was going to sleep beside him in the laundry room, where he had moved his bed and belongings to after being kept awake by Ethan’s snoring for three nights straight. Also, the laundry room provided a little more privacy for the times when he felt the desire to send you something risqué like a picture of his thick throbbing cock since you couldn’t physically be together due to the high risk you faced for contracting and spreading the virus via all the hours you had been pulling at the hospital. Grayson found the laundry room to be a much better place to tease you from, along with the bathroom, the shower, his truck, and the farmyard when he was out working alone on some building project.
Dressing her in her pj’s, Grayson placed Bailey beneath the warm covers on his bed and pressed a gentle kiss to her head while moving a lock of her dark hair away from her little face to behind her ear.
“Goodnight, baby. I love you,” he said while flicking off the light switch.
Downstairs in the kitchen he could hear your soothing voice talking to someone but at this point he was in no mood to confront you. At least that’s what his head was telling him, his feet on the other hand were taking him straight to you like a solider ready to go into battle. Walking into the kitchen, he saw you standing at the island countertop, you seemed venerable, but he was too angry to care. You had taken his daughter away from him, threatened to take her back to London during a worldwide disaster, and potentially exposed his only child to a virus that had no cure. He was livid.
“I’m so angry I barely even look at you!” spat Grayson, his hazel eyes wide with rage.
“Gray, maybe this isn’t the right time to do this,” interjected Ethan in an attempt to try and diffuse the situation before it boiled to the point where things said could not be taken back.
“E, stay the fuck out of this!” yelled Grayson, his face contorted with furious anger.
“You need to calm down,” tired Ethan again in a soft passive tone while stepping towards Grayson. He’d dealt with his twin brother’s anger his whole entire life, he knew when to press Grayson and when to back off. And maybe this time his judgement was off, but what was Grayson going to achieve by verbally tearing to shreds the love of his life and mother of his child.
“E, seriously,” began Grayson. “I need you give me some space and I need you to stay the fuck out of it.”
“Gray, please don’t do or say anything that you can never take back,” responded Ethan before moving into the loungeroom where both his mother and Cameron had nervously gathered.
Using the kitchen island as a buffer between you, both you and Grayson found yourselves staring at each other. Quietly in his mind, Grayson tried to think of the last time he had seen you without your surgical mask either on or loosely tired around your neck. He thought you were pretty, your twinkling eyes staring into his own. Your soft lips pink with warmth and your cheeks flush with a rosy hue. You weren’t his typical choice for a partner which surprised everyone but most of all himself. A young and virile Grayson was attracted to long locks of golden hair and bronzed skin that came out of a fake tanning booth. A bubbly personality that seeped synonymously with a Malibu beach-babe barbie type of girl. But this more mature version of Grayson found himself attracted to something entirely different. You were your own person, the opposite of every woman he’d known in Los Angeles, much less slept with. You’re a little different, you’re educated, experienced, opinionated, somewhat sensible but also a little arrogant. You’re not perfect, you have flaws, but you accept them. You are interesting and that’s where his intrigue began. You’re someone he could bring home to his family with a deep sense of pride, although maybe there was some contention from Ethan and even Cameron. The problem was there was a point where all Grayson could think about was you. Now you stood facing each other in silent warfare although some might say you had both come full circle.
“I don’t know what you want to hear from me right now,” you spoke, breaking the silence.
“How ‘bout an explanation as to what the fuck you just did,” retorted Grayson, not breaking eye contract with you. “I wanna know what the hell is going on.”
“It’s complicated…” you began before an angry Grayson cut you off.
“Complicated is not an explanation!”
“You wouldn’t understand,” you said, your voice trying to stay sounding strong.
“I am so tired of you telling me that I wouldn’t understand,” huffed Grayson, his hands running through his long hair in exasperation. “That’s your go to explanation for everything: Grayson is so stupid; he doesn’t fucking understand anything!”
“I never said you were stupid,” you defended, “I just said that you wouldn’t understand the reasons why I did what I did.”
“This is getting nowhere,” spoke Grayson in a frustrated tone. “We’re just going around in circles. You try and take my kid -”
“Listen! Listen, to me! You took my fucking kid,” retorted Grayson while smashing his fist against the marble of the kitchen countertop. “You took my kid and you threatened to take her back to London…permanently. You’re going to take her and you’re going to leave me here. How fucking dare, you!”
“I’m not going to do this tonight, Grayson.” You spoke. Tired, frustrated, sad, misunderstood and lonely, tonight was not the night to try to even reason with him.
Stepping to the side, you brushed past the island barrier between you, past Grayson and towards the door that led down into the basement.
“Not so fast,” spoke Grayson as he quickly hooked his fingers around your elbow as you strode past him, pulling you back towards his body.
You hadn’t felt his touch in a while and were taken aback at the tingles it created up and down your spine. Close enough to feel his body heat and the faint whistle in his breathing from what was probably an oncoming asthma attack, you dared to turn your head to make eye contact with his dark blazing hazel eyes. The same eyes as your daughter. His shoulders were more masculine than you remembered, and his strong stature seemed to tower over your small frame. Suddenly you felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over you. What once would have been a private disagreement between you two was now a public disagreement in front of his family. Not a good look for two people who prided themselves on being private in their relationship.
“Can we just pick this back up tomorrow,” you queried. “I just don’t have it in me to do this tonight.”
“No,” snapped Grayson while tightening his grip on your elbow.
“For fuck sake, Grayson!” you yell, “I’m not doing this with you right now.”
Quickly pulling your arm away from his tight grip, you push past him while trying to hurry towards a quick exit from the kitchen. Feeling disorientated and with Grayson hot on your trail, you take a wrong turn and instead of heading towards the door that would have led you down into the basement, you find yourself climbing up the stairs towards the second story of the farmhouse.
“You know what,” stated Grayson in a low ominous tone, “I’m done! This is over! We’re over! I want a divorce and I want you outta here!”
“Fine,” you retort in a hurried tone while finding yourself lost and corned on the second story floor. “I couldn’t agree more that we’re done.”
“Get out!” yelled Grayson before hushing his tone as to not wake Bailey.
Feeling corned and wanting to get away from your husband, you hurry towards the drawcord that hung from the attic door, grabbing onto it and pulling it down before climbing the set of steps that led up into the loft. The sound of the rain pelting against the roof and attic window was raucous and you could barely hear yourself think let alone hear what Grayson was saying behind you. The air in the attic was stuffy and the light dim as you bumped your way past the dozens of boxes and old furnishings that littered throughout the loft space, kicking up dust. What are you doing? What are both of you doing? Your thoughts raced a thousand miles a minute. Circling around back towards the attic stairs the faint sound of Ethan’s voice was comforting until it wasn’t.
“Both you guys up there?” questioned Ethan loudly. “Then that’s where you can stay until you sort this shit out!”
“Huh?!” responded Grayson while turning on his heel and hastily making his way back towards the stairs while his feet aggressively pushed the boxes out of his way that dared to try and trip him.
Before either of you could respond with anything else, the unsettling sound of the stairs being closed made both you and Grayson jump in fright. Standing mostly in darkness with only the shallow light of the moon’s beam streaming in from the attic window, you stood in silence.
“Ethan! What the fuck are you doing?” yelled Grayson as the stairs slammed shut, causing dust to circle around and delicately float in the air. “Ethan, do not lock us up in the attic!”
“Eth, this isn’t a very good idea,” stated Cameron while watching Ethan close up the stairs to the attic, effectively locking his brother up there with his wife.
“Relax, Cam,” reassured Ethan quietly. “They can get out. There’s a latch up there on the floor. Grayson’s just too stupid to figure it out.”
“So, how long should we leave them up there?” snickered Cameron changing her tone.
“As long as it takes for them to figure out that they can’t be without each other,” shrugged Ethan. “Or until mom makes us tell Grayson about the latch.”