When I was very young - early to mid teens - I was severely depressed. Before I was diagnosed I was engaging in self harm, I was suicidal, and I had completely lost the ability to get out of bed. I lived with my father at the time and he was well aware about my self harm but he somehow just joked about it. I was always talking about wanting to die, but for some reason the people around me just shamed me for not appreciating what I have and told me that I have no reason to be unhappy. I remember laying in bed and hoping that I would die in my sleep. I remember willing my heart to stop. When I stopped being able to even get out of bed, I remember my father trying to be super authoritative and snap me out of it with fear. He never actually tried to understand what was happening. To him I was just being lazy. I think even if the house caught fire I wouldn't get out of bed. I remember talking to my mom on the phone one day and telling her that I wanted to die. That dad doesn't care about me and I just don't want to continue living. That life has no meaning and no joy and no point. Then she said something that ignited a spark of hope in me. She said that death is inevitable. You will die. Sooner or later you will die. There is no point of bringing death upon yourself because it will find you anyway. So why not try every other option before you do something so final? If all else fails, you'll always have the option of dying. Damn... those words may have saved my life. I was still severely depressed and suicidal, but I was no longer willing to accept that I am the victim of my emotionally abusive father. I did something extremely drastic to get myself out of the life I was living. I got police and child protective services involved because at that point, ANY situation would he better then the one I was in. I ended up getting the help I needed and being taken into foster care. I still needed medical help to battle my depression, but forcing this change in my life was what saved me from suicide and made me find meaning in my life. #depression #depressionhelp #teen #lifeismeaningless #motivation #inspiration #change #lifechange #life #depressionawareness #fostercare https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHiQPfiAuX/?utm_medium=tumblr
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