[kitten-kay]

I really want to start eating fruits and vegetables regularly again

It's embarrassing to admit it but I really haven't been eating any during this binge phase. But I've been having to buy my own food now and I keep telling myself to not buy them bc they're just gonna rot in the fridge. But I mean I can at least buy canned or frozen vegetables. Like I miss having grilled veggies with my noodles, I miss having corn and beans in my salad. Maybe I should start eating some of the meals I ate when I was vegan. I've also been really craving apples and bananas. Maybe my body just really wants vitamins😩😩

[g1rl-h4lf-g0ne]

Current Fave Thinspos🦋

[starghoul]

i wish i was a raccoon sleepin on a log

[petitworld]

[via]

[welcometofaeryland]

artwork by sarah kay . ♡

[nikswonderland]

gentle animals, long walks, and ethereal cottage scenes

[thehobbitchronicles]

cosy days at home 🕯️☕️🍂

[caitcravesclarity]

if you already binged this month, you aren’t alone! breaking these habits are so difficult but everyday take a small step forward. if anyone wants to talk my dms are always open! i know one day we will achieve our goals ❤️

[kitten-kay]

Another what a fatty eats in a day bc I binged again :/

Breakfast, not that well, like usual. I had a 44oz mr pibb and a 510cal muffin after church. And before I went to church I had some cheese, meat, and crackers.

A little while after I decided to have some more cheese, meat, and crackers for lunch and then some carrots and ranch. That doesn't sound too bad, but I don't even want to think about how many calories were in all the cheese I ate...

At this point I was at about 1600cals but just a few minutes ago I just HAD to grab a handful of Reese's cup, and then my dumb ass decided to go out to the kitchen and I got myself a big helping of chips and dip.

Oh, and the 2 other glasses of sugary soda that I drank

I literally walked 4.5 miles today bc I told myself "today was the day I would change" but now I'm probably back at maintenance. Oh well, I'll probably walk more tomorrow. I wish I could just do a liquid fast but I always end up eating. Idk. Someone please help

[earththings]

[kitten-kay]

Y'all please never get fat. Not even in a th!nspo way it's just not fun at all. I can't stand feeling all of this extra skin just hanging over me, getting pinched from my body folds. I can't stand to see that my arms are the size of some people's legs. I can't stand literally feeling my blood sugar spike and then crash. I can't stand not fitting into clothes that I bought a month ago. And I hate feeling pain in my veins because they are so thick with cholesterol. Being fat is not fun, please read my warning, you don't want to become this

[orthaed]

My account everytime I don't waste money on binge food.

[kitten-kay]

I would literally be like $400+ richer if I didn't decide to buy groceries at my job every week

[kitten-kay]

What a fatty eats in a day

For breakfast my mom got fried chicken tenders and battered potato wedges to share and I had 2 big tenders with 4 thick potato wedges

Not off to a good start....

Then for lunch I had 4 small slices of pizza (literally half of a small pizza, what was i thinking??)

Then I told myself I was just gonna have diet soda for the rest of the day but lo and behold, my mom made some noodles and tomato soup so I just HAD to finish what was left in the pot. I didn't even like it, I put too much salt and pepper in my bowl.

And as if that wasn't enough, I ended everything with a few handfuls of Starburst minis.

I'm probably at over 2000cals for today. Idk why I keep doing this. Why I can't just keep my mouth shut and away from food. I always say I'm gonna do better then I binge again every fucking day. I'm surprised I haven't made it to the 220's yet, thank God that I've only been maintaining at 215lbs.

[kitten-kay]

Honestly I can't even look at myself. I didn't realize how bad I've let myself go. I guess I just didn't see it because I keep hiding myself under my clothes. But now I have to dress nice tomorrow for an important event and I don't even look like myself. My arms are massive, like body builder massive but instead of muscle it's all fat. I don't even want to talk about my stomach, it's so much bigger than my ass and pokes out more than my tits. I can't even look at myself. But this is the only decent outfit that I have that isn't just jeans and a t-shirt. I hate this. I need to actually do something about this instead of binging every fuckjng day

[kitten-kay]

Some good news from today:

My mom called me saying she is going to try to get help for her alcohol addiction and that she wants to start taking antidepressants. I'm really proud of her for taking that step and admitting it

[kitten-kay]

Lmao this fat bitch has been binging again i fucking hate this idk why I can't just keep food out of my mouth. I've literally eaten myself so full to the point of throwing up multiple times. Not even because I was trying to purge, just because my stomach was so full the food had no where to go😭💔💔 yall pray for me or something

[kitten-kay]

I'm back yall I've been kinda binging for like the past 2 weeks, my appetite is dead again tho so I'm back for now