She/her, 33. Lily. Love and Deepspace has me in a chokehold since launch. I love them all. #kittenmusings #kittenramblings Mostly I needed a place to share my LaDS thoughts. This is a sideblog.
Hello. :) I guess it‘s time to finally write that intro post. My nickname is Lily (she/her) and LaDS has me in a chokehold since launch. I am a kindhearted and gentle soul and speak sarcasm fluently (although mostly in my writing or with those who are used to it). I have been analyzing stories and characters for more than half my life and I’m also a writer which is why I never just see one side to a character.
When I write about characters here, it’s never about “ranking” them or claiming any main supremacy. I love them all in different ways and for different reasons—emotionally, narratively, sometimes ferally—and that’s allowed.
If you’re wondering whether I have “mains”, the answer is… in a way. But it’s much more than that. I mean, you will notice how I see them in my posts. ;) Each of them means something different to me, and that’s exactly why I’m writing this. For more thoughts, see the character-specific parts under the cut.
I just want to use this blog to share my love for these characters, that’s all. :) (#kittenmusings #kittenramblings)
Please note: You will find no hate toward any of the LIs here, and I don’t engage in fandom toxicity.
You’re welcome here. 💛 I love talking about the guys so feel free to send me a message or an ask. :)
Sometimes I write :) (#kittenwritings).
More detailed thoughts under the cut.
For me, engaging with the characters isn’t a question of loyalty or the quantity of my love. When it comes to fictional characters, I find that hard anyway.
Thanks for reading, engaging, or just quietly lurking. ☺️
This isn’t about supremacy or order. It’s about emotional connection—as it happened, as it unfolded, as it still unfolds.
So if you’re curious about how exactly I see them (short version), here’s how it all started and still going.
Xavier has been my constant all this time. He’s just… always there. Surprising? Not really. He’s been at the top since launch. No matter my mood, I always return to him. He soothes me, makes me laugh and giggle, makes me sob, or makes me go absolutely feral. It surprises me sometimes since I think of myself as a mature person. But maybe that’s the point. His lore leaves me in shambles (the good kind), and my love for him never wavers. He’s my cozy weird little miracle, and he calms and comforts me in ways I can’t fully express.
There’s something about Sylus—the way he balances sultry charisma with quiet protectiveness - that caught me off guard. His confidence is undeniable, but it’s the calm beneath the surface that gets me. He’s attentive in ways that feel steady, grounding. And while he teases, there’s always care beneath it. I didn’t expect to feel so safe with him—but I do. I could also write essays about how ridiculously attractive he is but I will do that later. This isn’t just about character love - it’s about part of myself that are healing. That’s what Sylus gives me.
When Caleb arrived with the main story, I was gone. It took me longer to understand him, but once I did, I really saw him. He’s cheeky, funny, sometimes outrageous, but that’s not the whole picture. Beneath that is surprising depth: maturity, strength, quiet sadness, fierce loyalty, and this ache, vulnerability, and intensity that run deeper than he lets on. He feels like someone who would always choose you. And I find that unforgettable. He’s home.
Rafayel was my “first” and the one who left me in awe because of his beauty, and I quickly learned he’s even more beautiful from within. Rafayel is the one who cracked something open in me. The kind of character whose tenderness feels like ache, and whose story lingers like a weight on the chest. Not heavy, just deeply, unmistakably felt. I may sometimes engage with his content less because of his intensity that resembles my own, but when I do, I either sob or get so happy. His lore is among my favorites in the game, and his many layers fascinate me.
As for Zayne: While I spiral less about him than the others, I engage with his content frequently. Because, believe it or not, he was the reason I started playing the game. I cherish his humor, his care, his loyalty and his quiet intensity. And his lore devastates me. He is the kind of guy where I think: He is real husband material. He is precious. He’s not my emotional undoing, but he’s my narrative soft spot - steady, grounded, and quietly essential in ways I didn’t expect. I adore his relationship with MC.
TL;DR: I’m multi-attached, emotionally unhinged in a good way, and I love writing about these characters with depth, humor, and honesty. Just thoughts and feelings.
Sooo… If you’re interested, I will tell you about my favorites, not just my “mains”. :)
