VOY 2x7: Parturition
Kes is taking flying lessons from Tom Paris, and it’s going...well.
Too well.
Paris knows he’s in trouble.
We’ve seen a lot of background interaction between Paris and Kes, and we know Neelix is especially jealous of him. However, we’ve also seen Paris flirt with other women, and Neelix get jealous of other men, so it hasn’t been clear how much Tom might really like Kes. Until now.
Tom plans to play it cool, but he hasn’t been in the galley five minutes before he and Neelix are shoving literal hair pasta at one another. Just as the food fight is escalating, Janeway pages both of them to her ready room.
Voyager needs supplies, and a mysterious local planet may provide a source. This, conveniently, means a minimum accompaniment away team that consists of Paris and Neelix, and no one else.
The lovesick paramours aren’t the only ones suffering on this assignment. Poor Kes is furious about their childish behavior, and then horrified when the shuttle crashes and loses contact with the ship. What if she never sees them again? How can she tell them how angry she is? Thankfully, Harry Kim is on hand to listen to her and validate her emotions, unlike either of the men who claim to be in love with her. Oh Harry, you underutilized gem!
Of course, Neelix and Paris are fine. Sure, they’re stuck with each other, stranded on a hostile planet whose very air is made up of harmful proteins, but they manage to take shelter in a cave and seal themselves inside. Unfortunately, they forgot to check if the cave was inhabited first.
Their tricorders lead them to a nest of “embryonic life forms” - and one of them hatches!
Gross!
Perhaps his parental instincts are still fresh from Elogium’s false alarm, because Neelix instantly insists they care for the creature. Paris agrees, and a sitcom-worthy family is born: Paris as reluctant but protective father, Neelix as mother, and lizard baby as the reptilian infant who used to yell, “Not the mama!” in the 90s show Dinosaurs.
The infant’s life signs are fading, and the new foster family realizes (s)he feeds off the dangerous proteins in the atmosphere. They break through the cave wall they built to keep that air out, then force-feed him or her like a baby bird Paris once cared for as a kid. She recovers! In the meantime, Paris and Neelix bond over their parenting skills, and both of them apologize for the food fight.
It’s still kiiiinda uncool, because obviously Kes has no part in this conversation, or really this whole episode that’s arguably about her. Except for a line or two, Paris and Neelix could just as easily have been discussing a lamp or a lapdog. The heart-to-heart does give Neelix a chance to say his one feminist statement, however, even if the audience has to question its possessive, objectifying premise.
(Call back to Tuvok’s sour face when Neelix says he’s a good lover in Elogium: “If you say so.”)
Just as the boys kiss and make up, a hostile life form appears. It’s the lizard mom! Will she accept her infant now that it's been tainted by alien species?
Yes! Neelix and Paris beam out (they’ve been back in contact with Voyager for a while, but wanted to make sure their surrogate child was ok before they left). They’re bffs now, and Kes is confused. The boys don’t explain - just sling arms around each other and walk into the distance as a blissful OT3.Â