Kathryn "Kitty" Parker

(RPG account) Kitty Parker. 17. Daughter of Kai and Kathrine Parker.

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ooc venting. Forgot to post in ooc blog.

I’m literally having a panic attack ooc, guys! Like, hardcore. I am doing assignments due at midnight my time. I have an hour to do two forums and two full length assignments. But I was depressed all week and was doing everything I could not to end up in a hospital for a mental break down. I don’t know what to do and need to calm down. >_<  I’m trying real hard not to beat myself up. I do have 100% in this class, so there is that. I just...am having a hard time right now. Wish me luck. I’ll make sure to post when I have turned in stuff. I’ll just tell myself that even if I only get a partial full length in and my two forums, that’s good. I can’t be perfect all the time. And having 100% in a fast paced quarter this long is good. Small things. Small steps. Alright. I’ll be fine. I just..need to remember to be kind to myself. That’s all. I am sorry if you all feel burdened by my venting. I just don’t have anyone to vent to this late general. And after this quarter I am going to take myself to a nice movie. My finals are done on the 18th. I have less than a month. 

- Annemarie. 

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She clung to her father that took every frustration with stride. She got that traveling was important to him but it pissed her off that he wasn’t around much. She nodded quietly as he mentioned that she needed her treatment. “I’ll do this....but...can you teach me to control my magic? It’s super embarassing but...that’s why I started to drink in the frst place. To get control.” Kitty let go of her father and began to unpack the rest of her clothes into the drawer. “Also, you should convince mom to get rid of all the booze in the house when I get back. At least for a few months. I am not sure how much self control I’d have with that.” She closerd the drawer and pulled some coloring books from her suitcase. “If you can’t, can you find someone who would help me and keep my secret?” 

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She felt him pat her back and let out a half humored laugh as he did. Kitty knew that was his way of showing he cared. He wasn’t one to share in words. Not often if at all ever. She was pretty sure the last time he said he loved her was when they were both under the age of ten. “I know I have to fix shit with Jules. I just...she’s overwhelmed. I’ll keep trying though. I feel bad for putting her through this. She is like..no offense, but the only nice person in this family. The rest of us are either bitches or dicks.” She let go of her brother listening closely to his every word. It would help her later when she was clearing out the drugs at rehab. She nodded and smiled. “It is. And I don’t take it personally. You are who you are. Come on, Mic, we both know you are more of a man of action than words anyway. I am your little sister. I do pay attention. Also, could you tell your friend, Aurelia thanks for me? She was here when I woke and I guess she found me so I owe her. She’s really nice.” Kitty smiled. “What a girl like that is doing hanging around you, brother, I have no idea but if it were me...I wouldn’t muck it up. She’s cool.” 

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She nodded. That would be her mantra for now. She can do it. “Thanks. What’s your name? I may have gotten it before but I was recovering from an OD.”

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“Sometimes?! Sweetheart, where have you been. My brother is always an ass. It’s a family thing. I don’t know if you’ve met our father yet but it is very much a family thing. Doesn’t mean I think badly of him, of course. He was nice enough to drop me off here. Still. I wish he’d come see me. Neither of my brother has. I understand Juliet because I need to fix that but...those two?” She sighed and sat back some. “I guess I will be here for at least a couple of weeks? They want to monitor me closely as my body detoxes and kicks this shit.” Kathryn nodded. Juliet. To be honest Juliet was a huge part of why she went to rehab. Aside from almost dying. Which was terrifying in and of itself. “I can do that. I texted Jules earlier. They let me. The councilor assigned to me thinks it’d be good for my progress. And my Dad stopped by earlier. That was interesting. It’s weird that my parents have shown up to me.” 

[plsingly-deactivated20251210]

[kitty-parker-blog1]

Texts: Kitty and Juliet.

Kitty: Hey Jules. I am in a rehab center now. They told me the reason I am so cold a lot and shaky is the withdrawals. It's weird but good to know what's going on.

Kitty: I just wanted to apologize for putting you though this. I am going to get better and be home more after I am done. I could really use your support when I get home.

Kitty: I know I need to earn your trust back, but I want to try. I love you. I hope in time you can forgive me. Visiting hours are from 8am-5pm if you want to stop by but I understand if you don't. 9pm is lights out and that's when I turn in my phone but I get it back in the morning. They check texts to make sure I am not making deals but, I don't mind it. At least I can contact you and make sure you are okay. Dad stopped by earlier. He said he's going to help me.

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It was weird for her to have her father around. Her inner child was gleeful of it since until the age of twelve she was all about her father. She was a daddy’s girl. Until she realized what a selfish bastard her father could be. Then her heroism worship towards her dad disintegrated and so did their relationship A part of her softened but there was still that cynical part of her that said her dad wasn’t there just for her. “What the hell do you want, Dad? Where the FUCK were you when I was in the hospital, huh?! Micah came, Juliet stopped by. Even Mom did. MOM.” She tried hard not to show how much that hurt her but her eyes betrayed her. Then he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she was six years old again. In bed with her parents after a thunderstorm and her father comforting her. ‘Damn it!’ Her mind whirled but she couldn’t stay angry with her father. They didn’t want to lose her...? She was going to be ok? Did he really give a fuck? Did she dare hope? All it took was looking in her father’s eyes and she reverted back to a child again to some level. “Dad...” She shook and wrapped her arms around him and started crying. “It’s so scary...and I just...wanted to fix a problem I had but it’s still there and it’s worse and I almost died. I could have died, Dad!” She just let everything out. Everything was going to be okay. Papa was there. 

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She sighed and stood up. Dragging her IV with her across to the room to Micah. Once she was right in front of him she heard the sarcasm of his voice go away and frowned. “I’m sorry if I scared the shit out of you. I thought I was smarter too. I guess I wasn’t.” Kitty put her arms around Micah and hugged him. “Mi, I’m going to tell you a secret. And please do not tell mom. I started using to control my magic. I started...to lose control and I tried to remedy it with shrooms and drinking but..obviously it failed.” Kitty kept a hold of her brother like he was the only thing that could keep her centered. “I need help for the drinking and drugs, sure. But I also need help with my magic. You are right. And thanks for giving a shit. I just...felt you deserved to know why I went off the rails. And it’s hard for me to say this but...I need my big brother. I need your help and support. And my being bitchy is a reaction to my shame...”

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“Sorry. I’m trying to adjust. And I am waiting to hear back from the rehab to see if they have room for me. I am scared of the idea that I may have to wait. I don’t want to end up back here. And thanks. For volunteering, I mean. It takes a special kind of person. I do appreciate you helping me.” Kitty smiled sheepishly. “The Doc says it’s normal to be cranky when you withdrawal.” 

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“You say that but Micah hasn’t visited me here yet. I think I may have pissed him off. I didn’t mean to. I just..have a lot going on behind the scenes I am embarrassed to talk about. And not ready to either. Come to think of it, Juliet hasn’t come to see me since her hospital visit. I understand though. I’ve fucked up with Jules. Bad.” Kathryn walked over to Aurelia and gave her a big hug. “I appreciate you coming over, you know.” Kathryn sat down and gestured to the chair across her. “I know you like Micah. I see how you look when you say his name. You don’t have to hide that fact from me.  I’m cool with it you know. He’d be stupid not to make you his girlfriend.” She smiled. “Thank you. I’m trying. It’s just hard. My body is kicking my ass right now and all I want is to just...drink or go on a trip. I know I can’t but..that feeling is there.” Kitty sat awkwardly for a few minutes. “I appreciate your effort but I think Micah is more disappointed in me than proud.” 

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She was transferred from the hospital to the rehab center. She was ashamed that all was stripped bare for her family and friends to see and she realized part of her being such a jerk to her family was the fact that she was experiencing withdrawals. Kathryn looked around her room and sighed. This would be her home temporarily. Until she was better. While she knew it was needing to be done she also was terrified. Since she began her addiction problem because she was losing control of her magic. Kitty managed to get some things from home before checking in. She hung up her pictures. She just grabbed three of them. One was of her family the Christmas before and another was from when they were all younger and when Juliet was a baby. The third was just of her and her siblings. And this one she put on the bedside dresser. As a reminder of why she needs to keep strong with this commitment to get clean. Kitty looked up as she finished with the pictures and smiled. “Hey! I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole but I am going to try because I don’t want that to happen again. So, no more drugs or drinking for me.” She made her bed with the quilt she had made when she was five with a family member and sat down. “I know it seems like bullshit but I really am sorry and hope to mend my relationships with everyone. Especially family. I realize that doing this destructive behavior hurts everyone who cares about me and I don’t want that.” 

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She snorted at her brother’s response. “Good to see you, too, Micah.” Kitty leaned back on her pillow and istened as her brother called her stupid multiple times. She wasn’t upset. She understood he was just freaked out and angry currently. “I didn’t mean to OD. It was my first time trying Ecstacy. I didn’t realize there was such a thing as a dud pill. I fugred it would be fine. I had done shrooms a few times.” She bit her lip nervously and couldn’t look him in the eye. “You just missed mom. She was here. You know. Everyone acts like they are so fucking perfect. My fuck up just happened to be more obvious and serious than some.” A grumble came out of her mouth before she could stop it. “Surprised anyone gives this much of a fuck aside from Juliet. I go to rehab tomorrow. It’s not like anyone would have noticed if I didn’t have this accident. I was actually planning on going anyways. I saw what this was doing to Jules and I didn’t want to hurt her anymore.” A small cynical part of her wondered if it shouldn’t have just killed her. 

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Kitty nodded as she seriously listened to her little sister. She hated herself for making Juliet feel that way. “I never wanted you to cover for me...I feel like a dick. I’ms orry, Jules.” Her green eyes flickered in the direction of Juliet. “Juliet...my stupidity is what got me here. Not you. I promise I am going to rehab. I’m just...scared. Not of dying. I am here. But..what now?” Kitty’s voice came out hoarsely. “Come back...please. I want to talk. Seriously.” Kathryn reached her hand out pleadingly. “I’ll go to rehab and take it seriously. I’ll make a full effort but..I’ll need support. Would you visit me, or are you like super pissed and need space? that’d be justifiable and I’d understand.” She ran her hands through her hair and sat up more straight. “It’s going to be hard. Most of my friends are party goers. I’ll be home a lot and have to cut contact to avoid temptation.” She started crying quietly. “I don’t want to be a shitty big sister anymore. I’ll try for real.” 

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She tried to keep her face focused and without emotion but she had never been that way with her Mother. “Yes bring up my perpetually missing father. That’ll help me with my issues.”  Kitty rolled her eyes and then frowned. “Yes. You do know everything.” Kathryn grabbed her Mom’s hand feeling softened by her mom’s obvious worry. “Mom. It was my first time trying E. It was probably a bad pill but if it makes you feel better...I won’t be touching that crap again.” Kitty looked down, unable to look her mom i the eyes. “It’s not your fault, Mom. I was good at hiding it. It started with drinking and then I tried shrooms. Which was nice. Then I decided to experiment with Ecstacy and...this happened.” Kitty still kept a tight hold on her mom’s hand. “Mom..Momma....I...” Her vioce lowered. “I’ve been having a hard time controlling my magic and...drinking helped. I thought maybe the drugs could too.”  She started sobbing letting herself go. “I got scared and panicked. I’m so-sorry!” She let go of her Mom’s hand and curled up in a ball. “I wasn’t trying to almost die!” 

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Kathryn started to twitch and foam at the mouth on the ground and let out a small gurgling noise. Everything went black. The hotel clerk had seen Kitty on the ground and called emergency services. As she was put into the tub to be woken up, there was a pounding on the door before it was opened by the management. An EMT came in and looked at Aurelia. “Do you know what caused it?” The other two with him grabbed Kitty out of the bathtub and dragged her into the Ambulance. “Are you her family? Do you know her next of kin? Come with us. We’ll need you to answer questions so we could help her better.” After the ambulance ride and the EMTs saving her life on the way to the hospital as well as getting everything needing to be done in the ER, Kitty was placed in a room. After a couple of hours she came to and woke up. “Hey...what...what happened, Aurelia?”

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Kathryn looked up from her hospital bed and groaned. Just perfect. She was out to have a good time and now she was checked in to the hospital and dreading her family showing up. She didn’t need that talk. Especially from her brother or father. That’s the last thing she wanted. Who knew some mushrooms, acid, and ecstasy would do that? Maybe she went too hard on that E. Or maybe it was a bad pill. Kitty didn’t know. She heard footsteps and closed her eyes for a moment. “Is it time for my check? Has it already been thirty minutes?” She opened her eyes. “Oh. It’s you. What are you doing here? How did you find out? And save me the lecture okay?! I get it. ‘Drugs are bad, Kitty. They can kill you!’. I’ve already heard this talk from the nurses and my Doctor. As it is..my ass is probably getting transferred to a rehabilitation center.”